Links?
Links? You just got here and already you're looking for the exit door. That's the trouble with you kids today. You got no patience. When I was your age I had a 2400 modem and we couldn't just zip from site to site. We stayed in one place and we were a lot of happier let me tell you. If you would just slow down and think instead of running around like a chicken with its head cut off. But no! You won't think! That's too much trouble! Thinking is boring. Well did you ever think that famine and pestilence might get boring after a while too?
That's the problem. You have had it too damn easy. "Oh link me elsewhere…" In my day we had to make our own links by hand. Took us all day and night sometime. We didn't expect every Webmaster in the world to make up links for us. World Wide Web. Too damn easy. That's what's wrong with you. You have had it too damn easy. Well if I had told my father to link me out of here he would have done just that and they would have had my bed rented by sundown.
Did you read every word on this site or did you just skim? I put some typos in to see if you are paying attention. Go back and find the typos and email them to me. Go on! This site can keep you plenty occupied without you linking to Star Trek or Lord of the Rings or Christopherlydon.com. Those sites will be waiting for you when you're done here. Well maybe not Christopher Lydon. But most of those fancy splashy sites you're so itchy to get to will be there tomorrow. Now just click on one of our fabulous internal links. AND DON'T LET ME CATCH YOU WITH YOUR HAND ON THE BACK BUTTON!
Links…Humbug.
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Father Fenol's Sermon
Eulogies for William Bennett
The Bennett Chapaquiddick
Death by Conan
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