Dahpimpsta.Bagelz.Bigfoot.Me.Myself.I.Bigdeezy.TallBitch.Jew.Balla
Life through the eyes of the tall one they call BigFoot
Look at my tall goofy ass on my WEBCAM.
Past WebJournals: [March 8-11] [March 12-15] [March 16-19] [March 20-23] [March 24-27]
3/27/01
Wise words of Chemi, “Keep it real!”
Wise words of Deezy, “Allen got his ass kicked, muhaha!”
Wise words of Allen, “A-chhhhhhjjjjjjeeeeeeewwww!”
Well spas are just a wonderful thing. I feel that I’ve been spending more time relaxing in spas lately then doing other creative things. It just calms me down after a hard days work. The people whom we refer to as “Spa Nazi’s” have been very generous of letting us chill in there whirlpool sweet ass spa. The jets give my back a tingle like no other. Yet one problem, the chlorine infested waters seem to engulf my mouth and eyes to the point of gaging and blindness. Yet again my chi is set free and I be the tall tree that I am, cuz that’s me.
While I was working out at the gym today, pumping iron, getting my lift on...a women walked into L.A. Workout. This was not any ordinary women, no my friends, for this was a women that had two lovely friends. These two friends were a distraction to every guys workout. We are guys, and yes we stare, but holy beegeeeeezusss, this women who looked like Carmen Elecktra, had her tig ole’ bitties busting outta her top. She proceeded to bend over to do stretches, and well it was nice from my prespective. Funny thing being, almost half the guys in the gym happened to migrate over to the other side of the gym as soon as she started her leg workouts. It was great my little cockaroaches, for I step all over you. This beautiful Skkkkeeeeeeezzzzzaaa helped me lift about 50 pounds more on every workout. Thanx for the motivation, will-power, and titties, to make todays overall workout worth it. Can’t wait till the next time I see this women in there, the guys will flock on in like the salmon of San Juan Capistrano.
My Penis Toes have falling asleep....so be very very quiet.
3/26/01
Wise words of Zach, “Get a freaking hearing-aid stupid!”
Wise words of Allen, “Don’t hate the player, hate the game!”
Wise words of Matt, “I was at near death from Lukes hideous feet!”
Communicating between my family has come to banging on walls, as I play my music too loud, and all I hear is banging on the walls. I have figured out that this means turn the volume down, but lately I turn it up, causing them to get up and tell me. Good stuff, but now my older brother yells and hits me. So if I look beat up at school, it’s because I just wanted to listen to music.
Quick note: I also found out where Nelly gets his ideas. It seems a secret till genious’ like me figuring out his rappin flows. His song E.I. in which he says “E.I. E.I. uhh-ohhhhh,” well Nelly, you’re a copyrighter, because my good old friend Old McDonald said it first I believe. Old McDonald had a farm “E.I. E.I Ooooooooo!” Private Dustin investigated this song indeed.
A murder has been commited in baseball by my favorite pitcher. Randy Johnson of the Diamondbacks was pitching today and as he pitched his four-hundred million mile per hour fastball, a bird flew in the way, what are the odds, and he actually nailed the bird. Bringing a new term to flipping the bird, and the bird was killed. You could see the feathers go everywhere, I think it’s an omen or sumptin. The kind of omen, I don’t know, but it was great!!! A new pitch was invented, the “Bird-Kill ball.” Memorial services for the bird will be held tommorow at the the bird’s own nest in Arizona. My condolences go out to the birds family.
We have lately been terrorized by certain wanna-be cult members shooting up schools across the nation. It’s almost like everyweek a new school is being threatened with bullets being fired at innocent kids and teachers. What has come to this, do these students really want that much attention, or are they cold-blooded wanna-be Osama ben Laden’s? I feel that video games, television, and media has brought it on themselves creating the havok in teenage minds. Last month, a kid came into a parking lot and torched his teacher’s car. I think he got this idea from Super Mario Brothers, when the little Guido Mario gets the plant which enables fire-ball spitting/throwing. Then you have the recent shooting in San Diego with the kids unexpectedly shooting in the school. The recent one, the guy didn’t injury many people, but caught a bullet in his face and ass. Talking about taking it up the ass, ouch!! He deserved it, damn idiot. What the hell does shooting students and teachers accomplish, following icons as Duke Nukem, Wolfenstein, and Lemmings blowing up stuff and going on shooting rampages. These fiends for killing are those who get no attention, have not a lot of friends, and play Half-Life all day. A very famous musician by the name Razor has stated his theory on the issue, “The nintendo and computer games have trained the “trigger finger” and desensitized the youth into a simple point, Click & Kill.” For all you that read this and contemplate doing something wrong against humanity, I have these words for you, “Blah Blah Blah Wait and Bleed, I’ll see you in Hell!”
My Penis Toes have no comment today!
3/25/01
Wise words of Ashley, “Live well, laugh often, love much!”
Wise words of Horn, “I think my underwear burned my ass!”
Wise words of Deezy, “You listen to ska and shiet? That shit sucks!”
Last night, the English Pikey got his hair dyed a sort of maroonish color. He now looks like Ringo Star or Paul McCartney with his long ass sorta pumpkin pie freakish hair. Well at the house we was at last night, this guy had a huge beast of a dog, named Rusty. It could kill a man, and Luke wanted to prove that wrong as he tried to wrestle the dog. He would get it in head locks, but get out and jump over him. It was some good stuff, as it started doing hurdles over the people passed out on the floor. I would call it an even draw, but a good match by the Pikey indeed.
Why can’t a white man, like I, flow like a black man can? I got freestyle flow, but yet I can’t come up with new ...ish spontaneously like they can. It kinda amazes me how rappers are so good at it. I know it’s thier profession to do that, but damn, it’s crazy silly fresh. I wanna flow like a Penis Toe off the hook on a Friday night, it’s tight, to ball it up, so I say what’s up, to my homies chillin in the corner, I just wanna get that girl and bone her. Yeah they call me Dusty Dust.
Will the Lakers ever win another championship? They got so many damn good players, but the thing is that Kobe thinks he is Jordan, so if he scores the most points his team wins. Ahh hell nah, that is almost never the case, because when you got a Big Ass Shaq Daddy in the middle of the key, banging on them other biznatches, you can’t lose. The Lakers need to go back to the days of “Showtime” when Magic Earvin Johnson rolled up those fatty blunts and smoked all other players in the league. That was the time of distibuted scoring, and therefore they got a ring out of it. Bling Bling was the theme last year, but it’s more like Ding Ding, wake up Lakers, you ain’t killin anymore. Last couple games have been wins for the Lakers without Kobe, so collect yo Ching Ching, and let the Lakers Fling Fling his ass to the bench. Team unity is better without him, but I hate the N.B.A. unless I make it there one day. They don’t play with heart, they play for the dinero, cash money, but there isn’t that much wrong with making a couple mil a year.
The Penis Toe Bunch, The Penis Toe Bunch, that's why they're called the Penis Toe Bunch!
3/24/01
Wise words of Chantelle, “The opposite of that is...”
Wise words of Deezy, “Give me a Project Bitch!”
Wise words of Ludacris, “Youz a Hooooooooo!”
Congratulations to the Guidos Proja and Conger, for they have rejected to take the AP exam for Comp Sci this year. The funny thing is that a new rule implies to those not willing to pay for a waste of college credit, which can be attained in college for a fifth of the price. That new rule is that if you don’t want to take the AP test, you can only acquire a D in the class. I agree with the Guidos as this is unfair, but yet it is kinda comical as Joe proceeded to cuss out the administrators about there falsified info they gave him earlier. Communism reeks havok on Simi High and it’s students once again.
Most of my ideas come from people who have certain curious wonders in the world, and I do the best to explain them. Todays topic is of High School Teens and Sex. As our society has become out of tune with the basic neccesities of watching television and playing with Fido, we have become more occupied with drinking alcohol, doing drugs, and having sex. We live amongst people everyday who are addicted to these newer exciting neccessities. That is because our parents grew up through the seventies, and well our world is turning back the time to the Woodstock era. Everyone had a jolly ole’ good time back then, and we realize through war time and watching Brady Bunch re-runs, that sex, drugs, and Rock N’ Roll is the way to go. The fact is that about 65% of teens have had sex before they get out of high school in a recent poll. Now the darndest truth is if you say you’ve had sex you’re considered a male whore for guys, and if you haven’t had sex, your considered a virginized geek-a-zoid. I know that when the topic of sex cums..oooops..comes up between friends, everyone in the group says theyu’ve had sex. You take a look at Johnny Boy and say...how did he get laid?? So I base that people will lie about it, rather then face the humility of saying no, as you’re deemed anti-social. The truth is that most parties I go to, it’s not like a movie where there are three-somes everywhere, yet everyonce in a while I hear people say, “Those two are getting it on in the back room.” Yet the truth is they are probably just chatting about there latest novel they read. All the sex-fiends end up on Sally-Jesse Rafael or Opera and complain that screwing 20 guys a night just ain’t enough. Our society is fascinated with sex as the ultimate pleasure, Oh Yes!!!, and well that’s why it has come down to little 9 year olds starting to have sex. It’s the full-blown honest sarcastabitch truth. Razor Muzic fo life!!!!
My Penis Toes have been stepped on more then usual due to people thinking it’s funny to injury the already injured Penis Toes. Immediate sufferage will take place for those who continue this antic!