CORTEX TAKES MANHATTAN
[Crash stands in breathless shock. If being turned into a human wasn't startling enough, his arch nemesis had been turned into a bandicoot. Each observes the other's altered state in awestruck silence.]
Crash: (breaking the silence) Darn Cortex... You are one UGLY bandicoot!
Cortex: This is embarrassing enough as it is without you mocking me. (whines) I'm fuzzy and orange!
Crash: Well I don't enjoy being a human either, I feel like Mr. Bigglesworth.
Cortex: If I ever get my hands on that D. Ranged, He'll pay for doing this to me.
Crash: (Smiles complacently) So, how does it feel to get a taste of your own medicine?
Cortex: Stop being so smug. This is serious!
Crash: I guess the only thing to do now is find a way out of this place and warn the others about the uprising.
Cortex: And how do you propose we do that? We don't know what to security is like here, heck, we don't even know if we're in the same building. We can't escape - it's hopeless.
Crash: Do you want me to leave you here? `Cause Im going whether you come or not, and right now I wouldn't mind if you were left here to spend the rest of your life as a cuddly creature.
(Cortex ponders this, as much as he hates the fact that he has to be saved by Crash, staying in this place would erase any chance of him finding a way to return to normal.)
Cortex: (Loathing) Alright I'll come, but don't expect me to be thankful.
Crash: I wasn't expecting it. Come on, I think I saw a way out this way.
(They head down a hall of barred off rooms, like the ones that they had been held in. They turn a corner right into a group of mutant guards that are looking for them.)
Guard: Hey, there they are!
Crash: Uh oh, run! (He and Cortex flee from the guards. Running down the hall Crash grabs Cortex and ducks into an open room. The guards pass by the room without seeing them.)
Cortex: (Moping) I want my mommy!
Crash: Shhh. They might hear us.
(They exit the room and head down another hall and approach a door)
Crash: I think this is the way out. (He tried the door but it's locked. Crash notices a keypad beside the door.) We can't open the door without a code.
Cortex: Then try some, and get that door open before those guards find us.
(The inner door opens in a cell close to where Cortex is standing. Through the barred exterior a timid mouse-like figure watches them. It's Cassie.)
Crash: Darn! If Coco were here she could get us out of here lickity-split.
Cortex: (Frustrated) Well she's not here. So find another way to open it.
Cassie: Are you trying to escape? (She grabs Cortex's lab coat.) Take me with you.
Cortex: Ahh! Crash, she's attacking me!
Cassie: No I'm not. Please let me go with you. They turned me into a mouse, they put me in this room and locked me up - I'm so scared, I want to go home!
Crash: How long have you been here?
Cassie: A few days. I'm not sure - it feels like an eternity.
Crash: Hold on I'll let you out. (He takes the keys from his pocket and opens the cell door.)
Cassie: Oh, thank you. (She hugs him)
Cortex: As nice as this is those guards will be back any second.
Crash: Then you find a way to open that door.
Cassie: You're so lucky. You can get away before they turn you into an animal. Too bad I can't say the same for your friend.
(Cortex slams the keypad frustrated and grumbles under his breath.)
Crash: You don't need to say, we're not really friends, and I am an animal, or I was.
Cassie: You were an animal? You don't look like the other mutants, (she gasps) Oh no, Terry!
Crash: Who's Terry?
Cassie: My boy friend, they took him, I saw them. He's in this place somewhere.
Cortex: We don't have the time for a rescue mission. (He opens the door) There, that code wasn't hard to crack.
Cassie: But we have to find Terry! Oh, I hate to think of what they may have done to him.
(A guard comes)
Guard: Ah-ha! I found them!
Crash: Let's get out of here!
(He grabs Cassie by the wrist and the three speed out the door into a stairwell. The guards go after them shooting their guns at them.)
Cortex: I don't want to die! At least not looking like this.
Guard: Don't let them get away!
(The trio hurry down the stairs avoiding gun fire. They reach the bottom of the stairwell and bolt out a door into the lobby of the building. Crash takes a tall potted plant and blocks the door with it.)
Crash: That should hold them for a little while.
(They run outside. Reclining on a mail box outside is Tiny, sleeping.)
Cortex: Tiny! Wake up!
Tiny: (Startled awake) Huh? Who there? (He sees the trio, growling he leaps on Cortex. Cassie screams.) Tiny smash bad mutants!
Cortex: Tiny, it's me you idiot!
Tiny: Cortex? That you?
Cortex: Yes, get off of me!
Cassie: (fearful)W... who's that?
Crash: That's just Tiny. Don't worry about him - he's too dumb to hurt anyone. Right Tiny?
(Tiny looks quizzically at the adolescent before him)
Tiny: Crash?
Crash: (in a "yes it's me" tone) Yes.
(Tiny contemplates this strange turn of events to the best his small brain can.)
Tiny: Cortex... bandicoot? Crash... person? Tiny confused.
(Crash pats Tiny on the shoulder)
Crash: You're not gonna be the only one big fella. We have to get to the hideout and tell they others what happened.
Cortex: I can't face my minions looking like THIS!
Crash: Well they're not going to listen to me.
Tiny: Tiny take you to hideout. Tiny find new car. See. (He points to a limousine parked in the street, it's pretty smashed up.)
Crash: Where'd you find it, the dump?
Tiny: (ashamed) Tiny not very good driver.
Cortex: Let's just get in before somebody sees us. (He hops in the back seat)
Cassie: I'm going too, I can't go home looking like this. My parents'll freak.
Crash: I get shot gun.
(They get into the limo and Tiny starts the car and peels out backwards smashing into a fire hydrant.)
Tiny: Oops, limo in reverse. (He shifts the limo into forward. Crash fastens his seat belt. The limo drives off. A guard runs out of the building just in time to see it turn the corner. He goes back into the building and takes out a cell phone.)
Guard: Hello, Miss Katz. They got away.
Tabitha: Drat! Tell the scouts to search the city. I want them back, especially the girl.
[Meanwhile; Tiny drives the limo down the street. Cassie mourns over her new form.]
Cassie: I didn't think it was possible. I thought they were advertising for hair dye or make up - I didn't think they'd actually turn me into a mouse. Oh, God... I'm a MOUSE!
Cortex: At least you like mice. The only thing I despise more than bandicoots is being one.
Crash: It's not so bad, at least they didn't make you a female, then you'd have a pouch.
Cassie: I'm worried about Terry. If they made me a mouse… Who knows what they did to him. (She sobs loudly) He told me it was a bad idea but I didn't listen. I should have, but I had to keep up with the fads. (She leans on Cortex and sobs uncontrollably. Unsure of how to act, he pats her on the back.)
Cortex: Uh... There, there?
[Crash sadly turns his attention out the window. What were they going to do now? He had no idea how to handle this situation. He couldn't stop the uprising as a human, and Cortex's minions weren't reliable. But unless something was done the entire city of New York would meet the same fate as Cassie. There had to be something he could do, but what? He lets out a melancholy sigh. As he watches the scenery fly by he notices two people walking down the street.]
Crash: Coco? (He looks again. There they were, Coco and Danni walking down the sidewalk, Rex following close behind.)
Crash: Tiny, stop the car!
Tiny: (Looking at the pedals) Which one stop?
Crash: This one. (He steps down on the brake, also stepping on Tiny's foot, stopping the limo. Tiny lets out a pained roar.)
Tiny: Ow! You step on Tiny's foot!
Crash: Sorry `bout that. I'll be right back.
(He steps out of the car and heads over to Danni and Coco.)
Coco: (To Danni and Rex) Come on, that building has to be around here somewhere.
Crash: Hey! (He waves his arms to get their attention) Hey guys! (He comes over and takes Coco's hand.) I don't know what you guys are doing here but I'll explain in the limo. (She pulls away from him in fear)
Coco: Get away from me you creep! (She kicks him in the leg.)
Crash: Ow! What are you doing...
Danni: You leave her alone! (She punches him. He falls to the ground.)
Crash: Coco, Danni, what's with you guys?
Danni: How do you know our names?
Crash: Guys, it's me. (They look at him confused. He then remembers that they cannot recognize him.) Oh, yeah, I forgot.
Coco: Who are you?
Crash: Coco, it's me, Crash.
Coco: Crash? No way.
Crash: Yes way, look, Rex can tell. Right boy? (He offers his hand to Rex, who backs away.) Here boy, go ahead. (Rex sniffs Crash's hand tentatively, then licks it, then he lets out a happy squawk and jumps on Crash licking his face.) Yeah, you know it's me, Good boy, good boy. (he pats Rex on the head, Rex continues licking his face. Danni helps Crash to his feet and looks deeply into his green eyes.)
Danni: It is you. How did this happen?
Crash: I can explain on the way back to the hideout, get in the limo. (They go to the limo. Crash tries the door but it's locked.) Cortex, open the door.
Cortex: No. I don't want them to see me like this. They'll laugh at me.
Crash: Stop being such a baby and open the door.
(The door opens, Cortex tries to hide but is seen.)
Danni: (laughing) Is that Cortex? (laughs harder) He looks absolutely hilarious!
Coco: I don't know whether to laugh... or to be disturbed.
(Cortex grunts angrily and jumps into the front seat.)
Cassie: (To Danni and Coco) Who are you guys?
Crash: Cassie, this is my friend Danni and my sister Coco. Guys this is Cassie, we helped her escape from Apex tech.
Cassie: You don't mind if I tag along do you? If you guys can stop the uprising, then maybe you can help me find Terry.
Coco: We have to go to the hideout first. We left Jacko there alone with Cortex's flunkys. Who knows what they could be doing back there.
[Back at the hideout Pinstripe, Dingodile, and Joe are playing poker, Ripper is bouncing around wildly, and Moe, Koala Kong and Jacko are singing loudly.]
Moe, KK, and Jacko: (singing) 8 bottles of beer on the wall, 8 bottles of beer, ya take one down, pass it around, 7 bottles of beer on the wall. 7 bottles of beer on the wall, 7 bottles of beer, ya take one down, pass it around...
Joe: Will you please SHUT UP!
(They stop singing)
Dingodile: Thank you, one more stanza `a that an` I was gonna have to kill somebody.
Jacko: Sure, ruin all ar' fun.
Pinstripe: (lays down his cards) Read `um and weep boys, royal flush.
Joe: Rats!
Dingodile: Grrrr... That's the fifth time in a row. I think yer cheating.
Pinstripe: Am not!
Dingodile: Are too!
Joe: Cool it guysss, let'sss just play.
Pinstripe: (deals out cards) Okay, Deuces wild, Aces high, Jacks better to open.
(Moe walks behind Joe)
Moe: Hey Joe, whatsss it mean when you have three A'sss?
Pinstripe + Dingodile: Fold!
Joe: (hits Moe) You idiot.
Moe: Sorry.
Dingodile: Whose idea was it to play this ruddy game any way?
(Just then, a limousine comes crashing through the wall of the hideout.)
Jacko: Crikey!
Tiny: (sticks his head out the window) Tiny find hideout!
Cortex: It's about time.
(Crash and Cassie step out of the car.)
Pinstripe: Don't look now, but we got some stowaways. (He aims his gun at them. Cassie screams.)
Crash: Whoa, hold it! Don't shoot!
Coco: Guys, let us explain. That's Crash.
Pinstripe: You tellin' me that beanpole is Crash? I don't believe it.
Crash: Beanpole?
Coco: He and Cortex were mutated when they were at Apex Tech.
Crash: She's telling the truth. Cortex, get out here.
Cortex: (from inside the car) I don't wanna.
Crash: Cortex! Get yourself out here now!
Danni: If we get shot, there'll be no one to help you find a way to return normal.
Cortex: Oh, all right. But don't laugh. (He steps out of the car. The Minions stare at him.)
Koala Kong: Dr. (snicker) Dr. Cortex, is that, (snickers) is that you?
Cortex: (downtrodden) Yes.
(All the minions bust out laughing.)
Pinstripe: Cortex... ha ha, a bandicoot? Ha hahahahahahahahaha!
Dingodile: What a riot! (laughs)
Cortex: Stop laughing. (they continue) Tiny, make them stop.
Tiny: Uh, Tiny stuck in car.
Cassie: Are they always like this?
Crash: 80 percent of the time.
Cortex: Stop laughing!
(The minions stop momentarily, then start again even louder. Cortex gets angry.)
Cortex: STOP LAUGHING!!!!
(They stop immediately, except for Ripper. Pinstripe hits him over the head with his gun.)
Jacko: Looks like we're all in fer a long story.
(Tiny rips the top and door off of the Limo freeing himself.)
Tiny: Tiny out of car!
Cortex is looking at his fuzzy body. He kinda looks like Crash, but his eyes are still the same colour, and his trousers are black. And his sneakers are dark blue. He looks in dismay at himself...
Cortex: (sighing) Oh! When will I ever be back to my old handsome self??
Crash: HANDSOME???
Cortex looks at the others, who are snickering still... He gives them a cold stare... Tiny walks up to Cortex and touches his back.
Tiny: Cortex, nice and fuzzy!! Heheh! Me pet Cortex? (he goes to pet Cortex on the head)
Cortex: (in anger) GET OFF ME!!
The minions laugh. Cortex snarls. He then goes to try to spin into them... He dosen't quite have the hang of it! He falls to the floor. He sobs.
Cortex: (in dismay) When will I ever get my body back??
Crash, meanwhile, looks down at his own body. He also still has his eyes. He puts his hand against his arm, and feels his peachy smooth skin... He looks to the floor, in deep thought...
Crash: (thinking to himself) What do I do now? When will I get my body back?
While Coco and Jacko are getting acquainted with a nervous and timid Cassie, Danni sees that Crash is standing, all by himself. She frowns. And walks up to him.
Danni: You OK? Crash?
Crash: (turns around with shock) Wha? Oh! Danni! I didn't hear you walk up behind me! Guess I gotta get used to my human ears eh?
They both laugh. But then Crash looks to the floor, sadly. Danni then stops laughing. And looks at him, sympathetically.
Danni: We'll get your body back, Crash!
Crash: (sadly) Yes! But how??
Danni smiles at him, and puts her hand on his shoulder. He then turns to her, with a frown on his face.
Crash: Danni? Why did you snap at me back, when we landed here??
Danni: (looks down) Oh? Oh! I must have gotten a little worked up about my leg… (smiles at him) That’s all!!
Crash still looks at her, wanting a better explanation. She looks at his human face, then she suddenly shies away, with mixed sadness and anger. She looks away for a few seconds... Then she turns to him. With a warm smile.
Danni: We'll think of something Crash! We WILL get your body back!! That's a promise!
Crash smiles, a little. And stares to the floor, sadly. He is still deep in thought.
Danni sighs and walks away from him. He turns around to say something to her, but notices her walking away. He then frowns, when he sees that she is actually... limping. Danni walks up to Jacko and Coco. Coco turns to her, and then looks towards Crash.
Coco: (to Danni ) Is Crash ok? Maybe I should speak to him.
Danni: (nearly sighing) Yeah. I think what he needs right now... Is the love and attention from his lil' Sis! (she smiles at Coco)
Coco smiles at Danni. Then walks over to where Crash is standing... And hugs him. Danni turns to Cassie, who is sitting on an old trash can. Her nose, twitching in nervousness... She then turns to Jacko and Danni.
Cassie: Where is Terry?? (suddenly panicking) Could they have captured him?? What could they have DONE to him?? (stands up, fast) I HAVE to get him out of here!!
Danni: WHOA! WHOA! Calm down!! Kid! We'll get him out!! (she gets Cassie to sit down again) We just gotta think of a plan!!
Cassie: (confused) Y-Y-You don't seem WORRIED about anything!!
Danni: Yeah! But I AM worried about working with THEM! (points to Cortex's minions) And especially... HIM! (she growls, pointing to Cortex, himself)
Jacko turns to Danni
Jacko: You REALLY hate him... don’t you?
Danni: Heheh! You GUESSED it!!
They then look at Cassie, who looks to the floor. With tears rolling down her long nose....
Cassie: But what could be going on... Now! Back there??...
Danni and Jacko, look at each other. They too are also wondering. Ripper Roo suddenly comes flying overhead. With another mug of Coffee in his paws (or his feet, seeing as how he’s in a strait jacket)
Ripper Roo: HAHAHA!! LOOK AT ME GO!
Jacko: (shouting at him, annoyed) TRY USING A PLANE NEXT TIME!!
Meanwhile...
Rudy: YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!! I HATE LOSING!!
Rudy, Tommy-boy, and the other Mutant Animals are in a small smoke filled room. It is a typical gangster scene. There is a card table. Some of the mutant dogs and rats are playing Poker. We can hear the angry words of "CHEAT!" and "LIAR!!" Rudy, is sulking in his favourite chair... Tommy-boy is sitting on the floor beside him
Tommy-boy: There, there, Rudy! We'll get our own back on them!!....
Rudy: Ahhh!! SHADDAP! (he swipes at Tommy-Boy)
Tommy-boy doges the swipe and goes back to comforting his boss....
Tommy-boy: Hey! Don't worry boss!! Look on the bright side!! The uprising’s coming soon!!
Rudy is twiddling his whiskers thinking. Tommy-Boy continues...
Tommy-boy: And besides! You should thank Tabitha! And Mr. Apex! And Dr. Ranged! They helped bust us all outta that laboratory when we were just small rats. And gave us a home!!
Rudy: (fed up) Yeah... So what?
Tommy-boy thinks for a second. He then bounds round his master again, trying to cheer him up again.
Tommy-boy: (nearly giggling) Say!! You were pretty attracted ta that blonde dog! From that group we attacked.
Rudy smacks Tommy-boy on the head.
Rudy: I SAID... SHADDAP!!
Suddenly there is a loud knock on the door. They all go silent... Rudy gets up, cautiously from his chair.
Rudy: WHO'S THERE??
There is a voice from outside.
Voice: LET ME IN! RUDY!
Rudy: TABITHA?
One of the Rats open the door, and Tabitha steps in... She then looks at the rats and the dogs. One of them pulls up a chair for her. It seems she gets a lot of respect from them. She turns to Rudy.
Tabitha: So rudy! I see you bumped into one of my experiments?
Rudy: Eh? Whaddaya mean?
Tabitha: Those new animals that came in from Australia, that’s what!
Rudy: Them! (angry) Yeah!! Why ask?
Tabitha smiles, she continues...
Tabitha: I need you and your buddies to do me a favour! I need you to round up every one of your friends and hunt them down!! I've already turned two of them into my experiments... Now we just need to do the same to the rest!!
She then whistles back to where the door is. She then turns to Rudy...
Tabitha: And I've brought some help along for you... Another… (she smiles, slyly) …Experiment of mine! He can’t remember who he was! But I programmed him well! He will be VERY helpful!
Rudy: (offended) HELP? We don’t need HELP!
Suddenly, a large, black/brown Alsatian walks in to the room. He growls heavily. Making the other Animals go back in fear. He growls at Rudy, with his mean, cold eyes and stares at him hard... He is wearing Black torn leather trousers, and a White torn up shirt. Rudy looks at him, with a worried look on his face....
Rudy: Who? (his voice wavering) Who ARE you??
The Huge Alsatian looks at him with a twisted smile, and greets Rudy with a low heavy growl...
Alsatian: Who am I? (he growls evily) Why... My name’s... TERRY!
[Back at the hideout, Coco comes over to Crash who is still depressed about his transformation]
Coco: Crash, are you going to be all right?
Crash: I think so. (sighs) I guess I'm still in shock that's all.
Coco: Crash, it doesn't matter what species you are, you'll always be my brother. And I'll always love you no matter what. (She gives him a reassuring hug.)
Crash: Thanks sis, I needed that. But right now we should be worrying about the uprising. If Tabitha is right about her minions, they could take over the city, possibly the whole state!
Coco: Or the world?
Cortex: No, not the world! (whining) That's my job!
Jacko: But what kin we do?
Crash: We can't go back to Apex tech. They'll be looking for us there.
Coco: But where else could we go?
Tiny: Tiny know way.
Crash: You do?
Tiny: Yeah, Tiny find door, show it to Dingodile.
Dingodile: Oh, yeah. Almost fergot `bout that. We tried gettin in there but the was a ruddy lock. Ya needed a computa` code ta open it.
Coco: I could hack my way in using my computer.
Danni: Then what ar` we waitin` 'round here for? Let's get goin'!
Crash: All right!
Coco: Not you brother. You could get hurt in your condition. Me, and Danni can go.
Tiny: And Tiny, me show you door. Tiny also want to fight rat men, it be fun.
Cassie: If you find Terry, please bring him back.
Danni: Don't worry mate, we'll keep an eye open fer him.
[Later, Tiny takes the girls to the door that he had shown Dingodile earlier.]
Tiny: Here is door.
Danni: Well Coco, think you can get us in?
Coco: No problemo, this'll be easy. (She takes out her computer and connects it to the keypad lock. She types on her laptop for a minute. There is a buzz and the heavy metal door slides open.)
Danni: Doesn't look like anybody's home.
Coco: Come on, we have to find a way to stop the uprising. Look for clues.
[The group splits up to look around. Meanwhile Tabitha is in an office speaking with Bruno.]
Tabitha: Is everything ready for the next part in our operation?
Bruno: Yes, Miss Katz. Dr. Ranged is finishing his latest developments just as you requested.
Tabitha: (purring with delight) Perfect, soon the uprising will take affect, and animals will rule the world! And there's nothing those puny humans can do about it.
[A pigeon mutant comes into the office.]
Bruno: Cooper, we told you always knock before coming into Miss Katz's office!
Cooper: Sorry, sorry, but we may have a security breach.
Tabitha: What!
Cooper: The computers detected an alteration in the entry code matrix, somebody may have tried to get in.
Tabitha: Then round up the guards! We cannot have problems so close to victory!
Cooper: Yes, miss Katz. (he leaves)
Tabitha: Call Dr. Ranged, we way need him.
[Tiny, Coco, and Danni search the complex for any information that may lead to the uprisings downfall.]
Tiny: Hmmm, were Tiny find clues? (He looks in a potted plant) Not here. (looks in a bathroom, a woman screams) Oops, Tiny sorry lady. Clues not in there.
(Danni goes into a dark room, turning on a light she sees papers on a desk; she looks at them.)
Danni: Blimey! These are order forms for a giant flash bulb, 70 bars of plutonium, and over 1,000,000,000,000 perfume bottles. What would they need with all this?
(Coco enters a large room and there are charts on a computer screen. She looks at them.)
Coco: Hmm, According to all this, Apex cosmetics is the biggest supplier of make up and perfume in the world. And this chart is of a marketing plan for a new line of perfumes and colognes called "Urban Wilderness". This doesn't sound good.
Voice: You bet it is you nosey little rat.
(Coco gasps and turns around. Tabitha is standing behind her.)
Coco: You're Tabitha Katz aren't you? You turned my brother into a human!
Tabitha: So, Crash has a sister, but like him there is nothing you can do to stop us. The uprising will prevail.
Coco: We'll just see about that. (She attempts to kick Tabitha. Tabitha jumps out of the way.)
Tabitha: Such a rude child. Bruno, take care of her.
Bruno: Yes Miss Katz. (He lunges at Coco, Tiny slams into Bruno knocking him away.)
Tiny: Big dog fight Tiny!
Tabitha: (growls) Guards!
(Rudy and his gang come running down the hall opening fire on Coco and Tiny.)
Rudy: Get um!
(The gang shoots at them with great fury. A boomerang comes flying out of nowhere knocking the guns out to the hands of the group. )
Coco: Danni!
Danni: (catches her boomerang) I got yer back mates!
Tabitha: Make sure they don't get away. Kill them if you have to.
(Some mutants jump at Tiny, he bats them away like flies. Coco and Danni kick and punch the dogs and rats as they try to grab them. One of the dogs, the newly transformed Terry, grabs Danni from behind.)
Terry: I've got one Miss Katz.
Danni: Let go `a me!
Rudy: (grabbing Coco) I got this one. (He shouts to Tiny.) Hey, kitty! You better stop beating up my gang or the kid and sweet- cheeks are chopped liver.
Tiny: Are you threatening Tiny?
Tabitha: You should listen to him, big boy. You don't want to see the consequences of not doing so.
Terry: I can take these prisoners to the holding cells for you Miss Katz.
Tabitha: Thank you Terry, It's so nice to have such an obedient follower.
(Terry smiles and escorts Tiny, Coco, and Danni down a hall)
Coco: What are you going to do to us?
Terry: I don't want anything to happen to you, I hate having to work for that woman.
Danni: Then why are you?
Terry: She told me if I didn't she was going to kill my girlfriend. (hangs his head) I'd do anything for Cassie.
Coco: Did you say Cassie? She's with our friends at our hideout.
Terry: (looking up) She is?
Danni: Yeah, she's safe an` sound. Katz was lyin' to you.
Terry: She was? She was using me? That just makes me mad!
Danni: Well you don't have to take it. You get us out of here safe and we can take you to Cassie.
Terry: Sure. Come this way. (He leads them away.)
[Meanwhile, Tabitha enters Dr. Ranged's lab. Ranged is working with some chemicals.]
Tabitha: Are you almost done doctor?
Ranged: Oh yes Tabitha. Soon my new and improved transmutagen will be ready and the uprising will be one step closer.
Tabitha: I'm so happy. Those humans out there have no idea how close they are to knowing what it's like to be part of the animal world.
(Bruno comes running in)
Bruno: Miss Katz, we have a problem. That pup of yours, Terry, has let the prisoners escape.
Tabitha: What? I should have known those intruders would blab about his girlfriend escaping. (She turns to Bruno) Make sure they don't get away. Our plans will have no more interferences!
Ranged: Is there anything I can do Tabitha?
Tabitha: Actually Doctor there is. One of the intruders is a large one, very strong. I want you to turn that ferocious tiger into a puny weakling.
Ranged: That I can do Miss Katz. (He goes to his lab table and picks up a small gun. He holds it smiling.)
Coco: Look out! (A group of mutants is shooting at the fleeing protagonists.)
Terry: They're trying to kill us.
Danni: Not if we fight them first. (She kicks a gun away from one of the mutants.)
Tiny: Ohh, Tiny like good fight! (He attacks a bunch of mutants. Little does he know Dr. Ranged is hiding around the corner aiming his gun at Tiny.)
Ranged: (to himself) Hold it right there big guy, you're going to have a new look very soon.
(He gets ready to pull the trigger. Danni is pushed into the sights by another mutant. Startled, Ranged accidentally fires, shooting a small dart out of his gun. The dart hits Danni in the leg.)
Danni: Ow!
Coco: Danni, I thought we told you to go easy on that leg.
Danni: Guess I strained it a bit too much. (She helps herself up, the dart falls off without her noticing it was ever there.)
Ranged: Drat, hit the wrong one. (He reloads the gun with another dart, Terry notices him.)
Terry: Hey, you're that doctor that mutated Cassie and me!
(Ranged turns around facing them, he points the dart gun at Tiny. Tiny sees him, grabs the gun, and crushes it in his hand.)
Tiny: You try to shoot Tiny. You make bad mistake.
(Ranged runs away in fear, Tiny runs after him.)
Coco: Tiny wait for us! (They go after him. Ranged runs into his lab and hides behind the strobe in the centre of the room.)
Ranged: This may make a big enough distraction for me to get away. (He turns the strobe on. The group enters to look for him.)
Coco: See him anywhere?
Tiny: Tiny smash man with gun.
Danni: Well make it quick, it feels like a sauna in here.
Coco: No it doesn't.
Danni: Well it does to me. (She groans) I don't feel so good. (She keels over moaning in pain.)
Coco: Danni, are you all right? (Danni screams in agony, something is happening to her.)
Terry: She's transforming!
(Ranged tries to sneak away but Coco sees him.)
Coco: Hey you, come back here! Terry, stay with Danni, Tiny come with me. (They run after Ranged. He ducks into an elevator, and sighs with relief as the doors close.)
Tiny: Guy getting away!
Coco: We won't catch him with all these mutants running around. We should get out of here while we still can.
(She and Tiny re-enter the lab, Terry is keeling over Danni, who is laying on the floor unconscious.)
Terry: She fainted, the transformation was too painful for her to handle.
Coco: (looks at Danni in shock) Oh, Danni…
Tiny: Ooh, dingo-girl not dingo no more.
[Back at the hideout, Cortex is working on something while the minions, Jacko, and Crash are passing the time.]
Moe: I sssspy with my little eye, sssomething, that ssstarts with "F".
Pinstripe: Dingodile's flamethrower.
Moe: No.
Jacko: The flashing neon lights outside?
Moe: Nope.
Koala Kong: Ripper Roo foaming at the mouth?
Ripper: HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE FRAPICHINO AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!
Moe: No.
Crash: Oooh, oooh! I know! Cortex's big fat fuzzy head!
Moe: That'sss it!
(Cortex sighs and bangs his head numerous times on the table.)
Crash: (to Cortex) What are you doing over there anyway?
Cortex: Unlike you morons, I have been using my free time trying to make a weapon to help us against those mutants.
(Coco calls from outside)
Coco: Coming through!
Crash: Coco's back, so soon?
(Coco and Terry rush in. Tiny follows carrying Danni in his arms.)
Coco: Put her on the couch Tiny. (Tiny lays Danni on the couch, Crash gets a good look at her and gasps.)
Crash: Oh no, not Danni.
Coco: I'm afraid so.
Jacko: Motha' a pearl! They turned her inta` a blinkin' HUMAN!!!
Crash looks at Danni in shock and sadness. He gently puts his hand on her smooth forehead. And looks to the floor in anger. He then turns to Coco and Tiny.
Crash: Tabitha did this? Didn't she?
Coco: (sadly) Yes Crash. And…
Crash: (confused) And what?
Coco turns towards where Cassie is standing. She walks towards them. Coco looks at her sadly.
Coco: Cassie! There's something that you need to kn-
Cassie: (interrupting) Where’s Terry??
Then Terry, steps out from behind Tiny. Cassie screams.
Cassie: (panicking) AAAGGHHH! It's one of those mutants!!
He gently looks at her with his warm brown eyes. And puts his hand on her cheek. She is trembling terribly. He whispers to her...
Terry: No! Cassie! It's me... Terry!
She opens her eyes in shock. She looks at him disbelieving. Tears roll down her furry light grey cheeks.
Cassie: Terry? NO! It can't be you! Can it?
Terry: [looks to the floor, sadly] Yes... It is me! I'm so sorry they did this to you!
Cassie: OH! TERRY!
She sobs and flings herself into his arms. Where he cradles her. His heart filled with sadness. The others look on. Coco turns to Crash. To notice he is still looking at an unconscious Danni, quite sadly.
Coco: Crash? What do you propose we should do? We can’t go back! Tabitha will have her minions hovering the place! We found a lot of information though! But we need to know MORE!
Crash: Like what??
Coco looks at him worryingly.
Coco: We found some items all right! Something much more sinister! But we need more clues and ideas!!
Tiny: [putting up his hand] Tiny go back!! Tiny like fighting with Rat Mutants!
Coco: We need to devise a plan first!
Dingodile angrily goes up to Coco.
Dingodile: I ain’t takin' orders from some RAT!
Crash: [to Dingodile, angrily] NO! Coco's RIGHT! We have to think of a plan… [looks at Danni, sadly. Then back to Dingodile again] …or you'll ALL end up like ME!
Dingodile looks towards the others. Koala Kong, Pinstripe, and Ripper Roo. They nod their heads. Koala Kong looks at Crash angrily.
Koala Kong: As much as I hate to say this. Crash is RIGHT! We all gotta put our heads together.
Ripper Roo: HAHAHA!!
Cortex: I have a better idea!
They turn around, to see Cortex (the Bandicoot) Hold up a strange looking device...
Jacko: What is it?
Cortex: (beaming with pride) It is an electronic stereotype shield enhancer.
Coco: MEANING???
Cortex: *sigh* Its an invisibility force field device! And it's NOT a laser! As you thought!
Crash: (unimpressed) Yeah!? So what? We need to kick some TAIL here! Why the heck do we need an invisibility THING?
Cortex growls and walks up to Crash. Where they stare at each other, as if they are about to fight. Coco splits them up!
Coco: WHOA WHOA! Break it up guys!! We need to THINK on this one!!
Crash: [shaking his head, agreeing] *sigh* You're right Coco! We need to decide what we're gonna do!
Cortex: HUMPH! (sulks and goes over to the other side of the room.)
Coco: OK! We're gonna have to decide who's gonna go back there. Who volunteers??
Dingodile: There’s no way I'm gonna risk being turned into a HUMAN!
Pinstripe: Me neither!!
Ripper Roo: YEAH! Me too! HAHAHAHA!!
Coco taps the floor with her foot. Impatiently...
Coco: LOOK! Some of you have to go!! We are PROBABLY Manhattan's... Maybe the world’s only hope!
The minions look at each other, shrugging their shoulders. Cortex grumpily works away with his tools on another new weapon. Rex cautiously walks up to where Danni is lying. He does not recognise her at first. He sniffs her, and then realises. He whimpers softly and licks her face to try and wake her up. Jacko notices this. He walks up to Rex and pats him on the head.
Jacko: [to Rex] It might be a while before she wakes up Rex mate! She will though!
Suddenly, Danni starts to stir a little. Jacko jumps. Rex squeaks happily and runs up to Crash, who is still talking to Coco. He tugs on his trousers.
Crash: What is it Rex?
Rex: Arf! (Over here!)
Crash: Eh?
Jacko: [waving to Crash and Coco] She's waking up!
Crash and Coco run up to Danni. She is starting to come around. Jacko looks at them happily. Crash and Coco breathe a sigh of relief. However... Crash has a thought...
Crash: [to Coco and Jacko] Y'know! Danni's NEVER been comfortable around humans right?
Coco: Yes? Why?
Crash looks at Danni. Then looks at Jacko and Coco....
Crash: Well... I don't think she'll like what she's become…
(Danni's eyes slowly open, she groans from dizziness and looks up at Crash's concerned face.)
Crash: Danni, can you hear me?
Danni: Crash? What happened?
Crash: How are you feeling?
Danni: I'm just a bit groggy. I'll be fine.
(Her eyes are not yet used to the light. She lifts her hand to block the light and notices her hairless limb.)
Danni: My hand! (She bolts upright and examines herself.) My body… what happened to me?
Crash: (trying to calm her down) Danni, when you were at Apex tech, you were turned into a human.
Danni: (Panicking) They turned me into a what??? (She grabs Crash with anger; she looks like she wants to kill somebody.)
Crash: Hey calm down! It's okay, be glad they didn't kill you. (She lets go of him and begins sobbing)
Danni: I don't want ta be a human, this is awful. (Crash sits next to her; he gently runs his fingers through her bushy blonde hair and wipes a few tears from her pink cheeks.)
Crash: Aw come on Danni, it isn't that bad. Look at the bright side - at least you won't get fleas.
Cortex: You get fleas?
Coco: Guys, shouldn't we be more concerned about the uprising? All that stuff we found could mean something really bad is going to happen. We need to find out what Katz and her goons are up to.
Crash: What did you find?
Coco: Danni found these bills for a giant flash bulb, 70 bars of plutonium, and 1,000,000,000,000 perfume bottles. I saw something about perfume on one of their computers, I'm going to check the new and look for a link between Apex and Perfume. (She opens her laptop and starts typing.)
Danni: (still sobbing) I can't spend the rest of my life like this, I hate humans.
Dingodile: Oh shut up, I've been cooped up with these Chunder-heads all day and ya don't hear me complainin'.
Crash: You could show a little concern.
Jacko: An' who ar' ya callin' a chunda-head? Not me I hope.
Dingodile: You? Hah! Yer th' biggest chunda-head of 'um all.
Jacko: You betta watch ya mouth thar mate, or I outta knock yer block off.
Dingodile: You try an' I'll roast ya.
(They start arguing, using a lot of Australian slang. Terry turns to Crash.)
Terry: I thought Australians spoke English.
Cassie: Stop fighting!
Terry: Cassie?
Cassie: I don't want to see any more fighting. This is all too scary. I wish it was all a dream, so I could wake up and it would all be over.
Danni: Me too!
Dingodile: Well it is real, mutants ar' runnin th' streets, yer a different species, and we're surrounded by chunda heads. (he points to Jacko)
Jacko: Oy! Ya take that back!
Dingodile: Make me!
Coco: I found something! (all run over to Coco)
Crash: What?
Coco: According to this press release Apex Cosmetics is coming out with a new line of perfume and cologne called "Urban Wilderness". There's been a lot of hype for it and it's being predicted to be a hot seller.
Cassie: What does perfume have to do with the uprising?
Coco: Think about it, this company wants to mutate all the humans in the world and this perfume is going to be sold in stores all over the world. I think Katz is going to put the mutagen in the perfume.
Jacko: I thought the mutagen needed to be injected inta ya ta work.
Terry: While I was working with Katz I remember overhearing her say something about a new formula, maybe they developed a way for the mutagen to be absorbed through the skin.
Coco: Then a perfume would be a perfect way to spread the mutagen.
Crash: Then how do we stop them?
Coco: Tomorrow night there's going to be a promotional benefit for the perfume at the Waldorf Historia hotel. Many elite businessmen and investors have been invited. If they decide to market this perfume they could be condemning the entire world.
Pinstripe: That sounds like a party we're going to have to crash.
Coco: We do need to get in, but not the way you're thinking of. We need to be undercover, send in some spies.
Crash: But the only ones here who can get in without looking suspicious are … Me and Danni.
Coco: That's right. You two will go to the party and try to expose Apex Tech for what it really is. I'll hack into the guest list and add your names.
Terry: You're also going to need some new clothes. You can't go to a fancy party in blue jeans and sneakers.
Crash: I'm not going to have to wear a tux am I?
Coco: Yes you are.
Crash: I don't wanna.
Cortex: For Pete's sake, it's not going to kill you to groom every once in a while.
Koala Kong: And what are we going to do?
Coco: Don't worry - you guys will get your turn too. Listen up. (Coco and the minions huddle, she whispers something to them.)
Pinstripe: (cocks gun) All right! Finally some action!
While Coco and the Minions are huddling together, Cortex turns to Crash...
Cortex: [sighing] Well, Crash. As much as I hate working with you, as well as I hate takling to you! [hands Crash the invisibility device] I'm gonna teach you how to use this!
Crash: [frowning] I know how to use this! [presses the button]
Cortex: [panicking] NO! DON'T!!
There is a huge BANG! And a flash! And Crash is covered in soot and dust. Cortex smacks himself over the head.
Cortex: [looks to the floor, sighing] You IDIOT! You pressed the self-destruct button!!
Crash looks at Cortex with confusion and scrubs soot off him coughing.
Crash: *cough* Wha? *cough* *cough* SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON? Why the heck did you make that?
Cortex: Because, you stupid smoothskin, you were supposed to use it for you and Danni to get past security to the place where they could be storing all the perfume!! Afterwards, you destroy it so nobody else can use it!
Crash: [crossly] STUPID SMOOTHSKIN? Aren't you forgetting YOU were one once!
Cortex: GRRR!! [fuming] You'll NEVER make it as a human!!
He goes to spin into Crash but goes spinning out of control, and lands on the ground in an exhausted heap. Crash looks over him. Sighing with a smile.
Crash: And you'll... NEVER make it as a bandicoot, Cortex!
Cassie: Please guys! Don't fight; we have to do something! The bandicoot could be right!
Cortex: [to Crash] You see! I told you that you'll never make it as a human!
Terry: [frowning] Not THAT, Cortex! She means about checking past security with the device... But… [he looks at the device, which has broken into nothingness] …How are you gonna do that now?
Crash: [smiles] Hey! Me and Danni'll think of something!. [looks at Danni] Right Danni? … Danni?
Danni is silent. She just sits down on the couch. She is not upset. Just thinking of something... She looks at her smooth arms. And sighs... Will she ever get used to being a part of the species that corrupted her?
Crash: [frowning] Danni? ...What’s up?
Cortex: [snorts] OH! Never mind her! Lets just get on with this party business shall we?
Danni looks at Cortex, and growls under her breath. Cassie sits by her. Coco and the others are still talking through the plan... They then turn to the others...
Coco: RIGHT! We've gone over the plan!
Crash: What sis?
Coco: While you and Danni are at Apex's promotional party! The rest of us will surround the building to cover you. However, we will be FAR out of sight! [to Cortex] Cortex! We need you to make a new device! To help Crash and Danni keep in contact with us! ...And visa versa!
Cortex: [sighing] Huh! Oh OK! [He then sets off to work]
Cassie turns to Danni, who is still thinking to herself.
Cassie: Are you worried about being a human?
Danni: [to Cassie] Kinda! But this party and the perfume is much more important now!
Cassie: Well, I hate being a mouse! I'm feeling the same way as you now!
Danni looks to the floor again. She pulls out from her pocket and stares at her Boomerang, emotionless. Crash frowns and walks up to her and crouches down beside her. Looking into her Blue eyes...
Crash: Hey... Don't feel too bad! Think about it... I've gotta wear a tuxedo!
They laugh. Danni chuckles softly to herself.
Danni: Yeah. Hey! What the heck will I wear?
Suddenly Jacko bounds up to the group...
Jacko: Hey... Any of you guys seen Tiny?
There is a loud crash in the background. We hear screams of a woman. Tiny comes bounding through the door holding a pile of clothes in his hands...
Tiny: [excitedly] TINY GET CLOTHES!
Cortex: TINY? Where did you get them??
Tiny: [pointing to a Clothes store] Tiny get clothes from STORE, for Crash and Danni to wear for Party!
Cassie: I hope you didn't steal those!
Tiny: Tiny offer to pay for clothes to Lady at cashier. But lady scream and leave Tiny all alone with clothes... So here I am!
Cortex: [sighs] Whatever!
Tiny hands the clothes to Crash and Danni. A black and white tuxedo that Crash has to wear. And a sparkling light purple evening dress that Danni must wear. They take them, worryingly.
Crash: Whoa! This is so James Bond!
Danni just sighs to herself and rolls her eyes. Terry walks up to Cassie, and gives her a reassuring hug.
Terry: We'll get through this Cassie!
Cortex: [shouts] I'VE DONE IT!
The others look towards Cortex. He jumps up holding a bunch of ITEMS in his hands. He walks up to Coco and places a small, computer chip in her hand.
Coco: What’s this?
Cortex: [pointing to it] This is a small radar chip that can connect you to Crash and Danni! Install it in your laptop!
Coco: RIGHT!
Cortex then hands two watch-like devices to Crash and Danni.
Crash: [sarcastically] And this is?
Danni: [confused] A watch?
Cortex: [impatiently] This looks like a watch... but isn't. It is disguised as one, to fool those at Apex. You use them to communicate with us back here! On Coco's computer! A video of you will pop up on screen! So we will know where you are!
Crash: [sarcastically] Hmmmm… clever aren't we?
Cortex: [growls quietly under his breath] Watch it boy!
Terry: [astonished] You must have been really fast to make this!
Cortex: [smirking] OR... A GENIUS!
Coco installs her microchip into the computer. The Computer makes a whirring sound to alert that it is ready. She nods her head to the others.
Coco: WE'RE READY! Lets get this show over with!
The minions cry a loud long cheer while Cassie looks nervously at them. Terry holds onto her... Pinstipe loads his gun, ready for some action...
Pinstripe: YES! [readies his gun] LETS GET IT ON!!
The minions keep cheering. While Crash and Danni, still holding onto their new clothes, look at each other, nervously...
Sometime later…
[Coco stands outside a door waiting for her brother to emerge. She looks like she has been waiting for quite some time and is running out of patience.]
Coco: Are you done yet?
Crash: (from behind the door) Ready! (He opens the door showing off his new wardrobe.) What do ya think? Swanky huh?
Cortex: Swanky yes, except you have your shirt on backwards.
Crash: (looking down at his shirt) Oh, I thought it was funny putting buttons on the back.
Coco: (sighs) Let's get this straightened out (She helps him get his shirt on correctly.)
Terry: Hey, good looking Crash. You can pass as a human looking like that.
Cassie: It's definitely an improvement.
Cortex: We were lucky we could make him take a shower first.
Crash: I wasn't that stinky.
Pinstripe: At least he didn't eat the soap. (Looks at Tiny) Unlike *some* people.
Tiny: (bubbles come out of his mouth) Soap smell good, Tiny think soap food. Tiny sorry. (He hiccups; more bubbles come out of his mouth.)
Coco: (to Crash) Once we get to the party, you and Danni will mingle with the crowd while the seven stooges (looks at Cortex's minions) stay outside and keep an eye out for any of Katz’s mutants. I'll be with Cortex keeping an eye on the surveillance system through my computer. We'll keep in contact with one another using Cortex's communication device. (She gives him the watch)
Crash: This is so cool! (He puts on the watch, and looks in the mirror. He smiles at how debonair he looks in his tux.) The name's Bandicoot, Crash Bandicoot. (Starts humming the James Bond theme song.)
Cassie: Are you sure the mutagen didn't damage his brain?
Coco: Yup.
Cortex: Believe it or not he's always like this.
Danni: I'm ready! (Everyone turns in her direction. She stands before them in the slinky, purple, evening gown and high-healed shoes. Even in her altered form, she is beautiful.)
Crash: Wow, Danni. You look fantastic.
Danni: You really think so? I feel so exposed in this dress. And these ruddy shoes are hard to walk in.
Crash: Well, you look wonderful.
Tiny: (gawking) Danni pretty.
Pinstripe: (Wolf whistles) You got that right.
Danni: (slaps him in the face) Watch who yer whistlin' at, ya weasel.
Pinstripe: (wincing) Sorry.
Dingodile: Ar' we goin' or what?
Coco: All right. We'll split you guys into groups of two. Komodo Moe and Joe will be one group, Ripper and Koala Kong will be the second, Dingodile can go with Tiny…
Dingodile: Me, with him? Oh, Struth!
Tiny: We be buddies! (he pats Dingodile on the back.)
Dingodile: (Picks up his flamethrower.) Don't make me use this.
Coco: …And Jacko can be with Pinstripe.
Jacko: This'll be bonza fun.
Dingodile: (laughs at Pinstripe) Hah! You got stuck with th' chunder-head.
Pinstripe: At least I'm not teamed up with the idiot.
Tiny: What you call Tiny?
Terry: What will we do?
Crash: You guys can keep Rex happy while we're gone.
(Rex squeals and rubs his head against Cassie's leg gently.)
Cassie: (nervously) Is he safe?
Crash: Don't worry, play a little with him and he'll be fine. Just don't step on his tail; I still have the bite marks from that mistake.
Terry: But what about you guys?
Coco: If you're that worried about us then listen to the radio.
Terry: What good'll that do?
Coco: If everything goes as planned, you won't hear anything about us.
(She and the others leave the hideout. Terry, Cassie, and Rex watch them with worry.)
[Later; Crash, Coco, Danni, and Cortex approach the Waldorf Historia hotel.]
Crash: Well, This is it. Is everybody in position?
Cortex: Yes, stop worrying. My minions are very reliable.
Crash: (sarcastically) Sure, they've never let you down before.
Cortex: Stop insulting me you blundering bandi…
Crash: (correcting him) Uhp, uhp, uhp, I'm not the bandicoot now remember. You are.
Cortex: Oh… Grrr… (He is so consumed with anger that he cannot think of a comeback.)
Coco: You guys go to the party, and remember I had to put a pseudonym on the guest list because somebody may have gotten suspicious if I put on your real names. Dr. Dolittle and I will be in the back ally next door, listening in. (She puts on the communicator head set.) Be careful, and have fun.
[Crash and Danni enter the hotel. The lobby is full of the high elite and rich hobnobbing it with fine wine and caviar. ]
Crash: Whoa, ritzy.
Danni: (holding herself insecurely) I'm not very comfortable bein' here.
Crash: All these people?
Danni: Yeah, I don' know if I can handle bein' near all these humans without flippin' out.
Crash: Danni, it'll be all right. There's nothing to worry about. Just stay close to me.
Danni: All right.
(They walk up to the maitre d')
Maitre d': Hello there, are you here for the Apex promotion?
Crash: Uh, yes, we are.
Maitre d': Name?
Crash: Uh, oh, Crash Bandi… (Danni elbows him) Ow!
Danni: (Whispers) Crash, Coco put a fake name on the list.
Crash: (Whispers back.) I thought she put on a pseudonym?
Danni: (Whispers) That *IS* a fake name!
Crash: Oh.
Maitre d': Is there a problem?
Danni: No, We're under Chris Brandy and Danni Dean.
Maitre d': Ah yes, Mr. Brandy and Ms. Dean your names are right here. Come right in.
(They enter the main hall. It is lavishly decorated with flowers and a crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Crash stands in awe for a few moments, his mouth gaping open.)
Danni: Crikey, this place is huge. (she sees Crash) Crash! Put yer tongue back in yer mouth!
Crash: Wha? Oh! (He sticks his tongue back in.)
Danni: We'd better contact Coco.
(Crash goes into his pocket, takes out a small earpiece, and places it in his ear. He then pushes a button on his watch and speaks into it.)
Crash: Coco. Coco, can you hear me?
Coco: (on the other end) Yeah Crash, hear you loud and clear. Is the earpiece working?
Crash: Yeah, I can hear you, and nobody else can.
Coco: Good, are you in?
Crash: Yeah, you should see this place.
Coco: I can. I'm tapped into the security cameras. Contact us if you find anything. Coco out.
Crash: Right. (He turns off the com-watch.)
Danni: Crash look. (She points to a display in the far corner of the room. It is a table with perfume bottles piled on it in a decorative pattern. The sign behind them reads "Urban Wilderness".)
Crash: The perfume. (They walk over to the display; a woman looking at the display accosts them.)
Woman: Why, hello. Are you investing in the Apex Corporation too?
Crash: Uhhhhhhhhh…
Danni: We're thinking about it.
Woman: I've heard that this particular perfume is guarantied to be a hot seller.
Crash: (dismal) We heard that too.
(The woman plucks up a bottle, opens it, and takes a whiff of its contents.)
Woman: Doesn't it smell divine? (She offers them a sniff) It has that musky odor I just go gaga over.
Crash: Then maybe I shouldn't have taken that shower. (Danni nudges him hard) Ow.
Woman: (laughs) Oh, I love a businessman with a sense of humour. (She extends her hand) I'm Buffy Stanwick from Wallstreet.
Crash: Oh, (Shakes her hand) I'm Cra… (Correcting himself) Chris Brandy from, uh, Australia.
Buffy: Ah, an exchange investor. I've been to Australia, My husband and I own a winter home there. Of course when it's winter here it's summer there. But I guess you knew that already.
Crash: Yeah, and the toilets flush backwards.
Buffy: (laughs) Mr. Brandy, you're a riot. I must introduce you to my husband. (she calls) Bruce, you must come here and meet Mr. Brandy. (He comes over)
Bruce: Hello there.
Buffy: Bruce, Mr. Brandy is an investor from Australia.
Bruce: Nice to meet you, and your date.
Crash: This is my uh, girlfriend Danni.
Danni: Girlfriend?
Buffy: Chris, Danni, come sit with us and we'll talk the market.
Bruce: What are your opinions on Pork bellies?
Crash: I've ridden a pig once.
Buffy: (laughs) An investor and funny. Why Danni, where ever did you find him?
Danni: Uh, in a cage?
(Buffy and Bruce laugh)
Bruce: The girl's funny too.
(Crash and Danni join the Stanwicks at their table, Coco observes them from her link to the security cameras.)
Coco: That's good; they're fitting in just fine.
Cortex: They shouldn't be prattling, they should be finding a way to sabotage Katz's plan.
Coco: And risk getting caught? They should lay low for now. I'll check on the others. (She talks into the communicator.) Alpha watch team calling beta team, are you there?
(Across the street in another ally, Koala Kong and Ripper answer)
Koala Kong: Everything's quiet here, except for Ripper.
(Ripper is jumping around knocking over trash cans making a big ruckus.)
Ripper: HEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!
Coco: Team Gamma? What about you guys?
(The Komodo Brothers are in the wine seller of the hotel.)
Moe: Who issss gamma team again?
Joe: We are sssstupid. (He answers) We're in the wine sssseller like you told usss to be. No sssign of Katz'sss mutantssssss here.
Moe: (over by the wine racks) Hey, Joe. They've got Chardonnay.
Coco: Delta team? You see anything?
(Delta team, Tiny and Dingodile are in another ally by the hotel.)
Dingodile: Ain't seen nothin' - it's getting' pretty dull back here.
Tiny: (whining) Tiny bored.
Dingodile: An' Tiny's annoyin' the heck outta me.
Coco: Well hang in there - it can't go at this pace forever.
Dingodile: Ya betta' be right, Tiny's startin' the chew on the dumpsters.
Tiny: But Tiny want something to do.
Coco: What about you team Epsilon?
(Pinstripe and Jacko are on the roof of the restaurant part of the hotel.)
Pinstripe: Nothing yet. And why'd I have to get teamed up with fly-boy? (He turns to Jacko who is standing there whistling "Waltzing Matilda".) If he does another sing-a-long I'm going to hafta shoot him.
Dingodile: (laughs) I told ya he was a chunda-head.
Pinstripe: Dingodile, get off of my frequency.
Dingodile: No way, I'm gonna wait fer you ta say somethin' stupid.
(Pinstripe takes off his microphone and scrapes it against the window over looking the restaurant. It makes a loud screeching sound. Dingodile yelps.)
Dingodile: Ah! What are ya daft? Ya nearly blew out me blinkin' eardrums.
Pinstripe: That'll teach you some respect, you scaly fuzz bucket.
Dingodile: You watch it, ya trigga' happy muskrat.
Pinstripe: Septic tank breath.
Dingodile: Chunda'-head.
Pinstripe: Hybrid fire bug.
Dingodile: Marsupial Mafia stereotype.
Cortex: (Yells) Enough bickering you two! We need to focus on the matter at hand.
Coco: And we need to keep these frequencies open in case of an emergency.
Cortex: Maybe I need minions with longer attention spans.
[Crash and Danni sit with the Stanwicks discussing various topics]
Bruce: …So then the Wallstreet Journal said the stocks would fall through, but as it turned out they stayed on top for five weeks. How's that for playing your cards right?
Crash: Well, I'm not much of a gambling man, but I can play a mean game of go fish.
Bruce: (laughs) Brandy, if your investment senses are as sharp as your wit you'll make a killing in this town. Now speaking seriously, what do you think about Apex's new product?
Crash: Well, Danni and I don't think too likely of it.
Buffy: Really? Why not?
Crash: Because uh…
Danni: We heard it was tested on animals.
Buffy: I didn't know Apex tested on animals? Are you sure?
Crash: Oh yeah, they test on animals all right.
(A busboy comes to the table)
Busboy: Would anyone like an hors d'oeuvre? (Offers them a plate of small snacks)
Crash: Ohh, Cocktail weenies. (He takes the whole plate and starts stuffing food into his mouth. He notices everyone at the table staring at him.)
Danni: (Whispers) Crash, fancy party, remember?
Crash: (with his mouth full) Oh, yeah, sorry. Anybody want one?
Buffy: (slightly disgusted but politely hiding it.) No thanks. How long have you been in New York?
Danni: Couple a` days.
Bruce: Staying long?
Danni: No. Hopefully. (she looks down to the floor, she looks very sad.)
Bruce: Homesickness?
Danni: (Startled she looks up) Wha… Uh, yes.
Buffy: Oh, waiter! (a waiter comes to the table)
Waiter: Yes ma'am?
Buffy: Could we have some more wine please?
Waiter: Of course ma'am!
Crash: (mouth full) And some more of those little potato puff thingys.
Waiter: I'll see what I can do sir.
(The waiter goes into the kitchen and speaks to the maitre d'.)
Waiter: The Stanwicks at table 12 requested more wine.
Maitre d': I'll get it. (The maitre d' goes into the wine seller where the Komodo Brothers are hiding. Joe sees him coming and hides behind a rack where Moe is sitting on the floor.)
Moe: (Slurred) Nice of you to join me.
Joe: Sssshhhh. Ssssomeonesss coming.
Moe: Well lemme at um'. Where'sss my sssword?
Joe: Are you drunk?
Moe: I may be a little sssloshed. I drank a couple a bottles of this wine ssstuff.
Joe: (becoming angry) How many bottlessss?
Moe: Aw Joe, you know I don't know how to count.
Joe: (covers Moe's mouth) Quiet. Sssomeoness coming. (The seller door opens and the Maitre d' enters. He goes to one of the racks and takes a bottle of wine.)
Moe: Iss he gone yet?
Joe: (whispers) Quiet! (The maitre d' stops and looks around.)
Maitre d': Must have been my imagination. (He leaves and re-enters the kitchen. The waiters are standing by the door looking out.) Here's the wine for table 12. What's everyone standing around for?
Waiter: They're here.
Maitre d': They are? Oh how wonderful.
(outside in the dining hall there is a murmur in the crowd)
Crash: What's going on?
Bruce: Didn't you hear? Mr. Apex has arrived.
Crash: Apex! He's here?
(Apex enters the room; Tabitha who is wearing a large brimmed hat with a veil so no one can see her face follows him.)
Apex: Welcome potential investors. This is a wonderful occasion. Tonight Apex tech unveils its new line of perfume, "Urban Wilderness."
(Crash purposely drops his fork under the table)
Crash: Oops. I'll get it. (He ducks under the table and turns on his watch.) Coco!
Coco: What is it Crash?
Crash: She's here. Tabitha is here! What do we do?
Coco: Just lay low. Don't direct attention to yourself. Keep your watch com. on so I can listen.
Crash: Ok. (He sits back up.)
Apex: To further describe this fine stock, is the head of Apex Tech cosmetics, Tabitha Katz.
Tabitha: It is my honour to have been in charge of the manufacture of such an elegant perfume. It's not every day that such a fine product can be given to the world. But soon every store in America will have this perfume on its selves and soon even the world. You may all now be a part of industrial history, as we give you all, "Urban Wilderness" a scent guarantied to bring out the animal in any one. (She laughs, the audience applauds, Crash and Danni gasp.)
Coco: Oh no. That cat did put the serum into the perfume!
Cortex: Coco…
Coco: Not now Cortex. I have to think.
Cortex: But Coco…
Coco: There has to be something I can do.
Cortex: COCO!
Coco: WHAT? (Cortex points behind them, she turns around only to have to look up and see the face of Bruno. She screams.)
Crash: Coco!
Buffy: Pardon?
Crash: Uh… I mean uh… Boy could I go for some hot cocoa. Come on Danni, let's find a waiter and ask him to bring us some. (He takes Danni's hand and leads her away from the table.)
Danni: What happened?
Crash: I heard Coco scream through the com. link. Something must have happened.
Danni: Now what?
Crash: We have to take care of Katz ourselves. Come with me.
[Meanwhile Dingodile and Tiny are waiting outside]
Dingodile: Hello? That's odd, Th' boss ain't answerin'.
Tiny: Maybe Cortex on other line? (There is a thump behind them. Rudy and Tommy-boy step out into view.)
Rudy: Your boss is busy at the moment.
Dingodile: You again! Back for more, eh?
Rudy: I don't let no freak show mess me up and get away with it.
Tommy-boy: Yeah, yeah, it's pay back time.
Tiny: Yay, Tiny get to fight!
Dingodile: Well, if it's a fight they want… then let's give it to um.
[Meanwhile on the roof.]
Jacko: Did you hear somethin'?
Pinstripe: Nope.
Jacko: There! I heard it again!
Pinstripe: It's probably a bird or something.
(Something sneaks up behind them. Jacko notices it.)
Jacko: Oh, It's a bird aright. And it's a big' un.
(Pinstripe turns around to see Cooper standing behind them holding a gun in his wing.)
Cooper: Miss Katz said there might be spies around tonight.
Pinstripe: Hey, I know you. You're the scumbag that messed up my suit! Well it's your turn to get messed up. (He opens fire. Throughout the restaurant the sound of gunfire is heard.)
Buffy: Is there shooting going on outside?
(The patrons murmur with concern. Crash and Danni approach Apex at his table.)
Crash: Mr. Apex, there's something we need to tell you.
Apex: And you are?
Crash: You may not recognize me, but I'm Crash Bandicoot. I visited your office a few days ago. I need to tell you something important about Tabitha.
Apex: What do you want?
Crash: Your little Miss Katz is trying to mutate the city into animals using your perfume.
Apex: (disbelieving) Are you serious?
Crash: You have to believe me. She's using your company to take over the city! She wants to mutate the world.
Apex: You're crazy. Tabitha would never do that.
Danni: We're telling the truth, she put the transmutagenic serum in the perfume. She mutated us when we tried to stop her.
Apex: You expect me to believe this hogwash? I could have you arrested for slander.
Crash: Will you just listen for one minute? We're trying to warn you about her.
(There is a loud smash from the next room, Tiny comes crashing through the wall into the restaurant.)
Tiny: Don't shoot Tiny! (Tommy-boy comes running in following Tiny with a gun)
Tommy-boy: Heh, heh, Here kitty kitty. (Rudy runs in screaming as Dingodile shoots him with his flamethrower.)
Dingodile: Tiny, stop bein' such a scaredy cat, He's a rat you're a tiga'.
(Some patrons run to the exits screaming, the Stanwicks stay at their table.)
Buffy: Is this a promotional show?
Bruce: These big companies always come up with the most cleaver marketing campaigns.
Tabitha: (To Rudy) I thought I told you to keep all fights OUTSIDE!
Rudy: Don't yell at me, it was freak show’s fault.
Dingodile: I'll show you a freak show. (He fires his flamethrower at him.)
Rudy: (catching fire) Yeeowch!
Danni: Maybe we should be getting' out of here.
Crash: Good idea. (They try to leave with the fleeing crowd. Tabitha sees them.)
Tabitha: You! I had a feeling you would try to stop me. Luckily I had my men positioned outside in case your friends showed up.
Crash: You're not going to get away with this.
Tabitha: You're too late. Shipment of the serum-tainted perfume has already begun. You'll never be able to stop the uprising.
Crash: We'll see about that. (He calls to the frightened crowd.) Everyone! Tell everyone you can, don't buy this perfume! It's laced with a mutagen that will turn everybody in the city into this! (He pulls off Tabitha's hat and veil revealing her cat face. The crowd gasps.)
Tabitha: (angry) How DARE you expose me! (She shows her claws and swipes at Crash ripping his shirt.)
Bruce: I didn't know this show was interactive.
(Tiny throws Tommy-boy into their table)
Buffy: And the costumes are so lifelike.
(Jacko and Pinstripe come smashing through the roof window. Cooper flies down after them.)
Jacko: I'll show ya some real flyin'. (He grabs Cooper by the legs and swings him into the wall.)
Tabitha: Looks like it's time for plan "B". (She whistles loudly, a mob of mutants come rushing in.)
Apex: Tabitha, what's all this about?
Tabitha: None of your business John! This is personal. (She swipes at Crash again. Danni tries to run to help him but is stopped by a big dog. )
Danni: Outta my way! (She punches him in the gut. He keels over.)
Tabitha: It seems your still out numbered, Crash. (She kicks him to the ground. He turns on his watch com. and yells into it.)
Crash: We could use some support here!
Tabitha: Nobody can help you now. You're mine. (She gets ready for a final blow. Danni jumps onto her back. Tabitha knocks her off)
Danni: You leave him alone!
Tabitha: You think you can stop me? You're a weak human.
Danni: (looks down at the floor) A human yes. (Looks up with anger in her eyes) But I ain't WEAK!
(She kicks Tabitha in the chest.)
Tabitha: Guards! (Two mutants come to her aid. Ripper and Koala Kong come barrelling through the wall, trampling the guards.)
Ripper: HEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEEHEHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WE'RE HERE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Crash: It's about time.
(The Komodo Brothers come running in.)
Joe: Ssssomebody assk for back up?
Moe: (Still drunk) Just point me to the action. I'll ssslice 'n dicesss them.
Joe: You sshould ssit thiss one out.
Moe: No way, I wanna fight. (He walks into a wall.)
Joe: Idiot.
(Mutant guards surround Crash and Danni.)
Danni: Now what?
Crash: I have an idea, on my count, we're gonna ram one of these guys. Ok. 1…2…3!
(They both run into one of the guards knocking him over and getting away.)
Tabitha: Don't let them get away! Go after them!
Danni: Ok idea man, got an escape plan?
Crash: Not really. Uh, this way! (He takes her hand and runs into the lobby of the hotel. Some mutants run after them.)
Danni: Quick inta the lift.
Crash: The what?
Danni: The ELEVATOR! (She pulls him into an elevator barely missing the closing doors.)
Crash: That was close!
(Back in the restaurant the Stanwicks are the only ones enjoying themselves oblivious to the danger.)
Buffy: This is fantastic. I love a good dinner show.
Bruce: This must be a scene from Broadway's "Lion King".
(Pinstripe runs by shooting his gun.)
Buffy: Or a revival of "Guys and Dolls".
(Ripper swings from the chandelier laughing, Jacko, Koala Kong and Tiny fight off some dogs, Pinstripe is shooting at Tommy-boy and Cooper, Dingodile is fighting Rudy, and the Komodo Bros. are advanced by a squirrel guard with a knife.)
Joe: You call that a knife? (He takes out his sword) I believe you know the resssst. (The squirrel runs away.)
Moe: (drunkenly) Hey come back Mr. Ssssquirrel, I ssstill wanna fight. (He swings his sword around inebriated. He accidentally swings into a light switch causing a short circuit throughout the hotel. All the lights go out.)
Jacko: Oy! Wha' happened ta the lights?
Koala Kong: Hey! Watch it with your tail!
Pinstripe: Who stepped on my foot?
Ripper: HEHEHEHEHEE!
Tommy-boy: I'm scared of the dark!
Rudy: Shut up!
Buffy: Bruce, I'm beginning to think this isn't a show.
(Dingodile turns up his flamethrower to see better. Rudy jumps him from behind causing him to shoot the display of perfume bottles. The bottles explode.)
Bruce: This ISN'T a show! (They run out of the restaurant.)
Dingodile: (To Rudy) Now ya gone an' done it. Nobody pushes me around.
[Meanwhile Danni and Crash are trapped in the stopped elevator.]
Danni: Crash, why'd the lift stop?
Crash: I don't know. (He tries the buttons) There's no power. I guess we're stuck here. (Danni sits on the floor and starts sobbing.) Danni, what's wrong?
Danni: It's just all that's been going on. I feel so violated, like everything's falling apart. We're in a strange place, with these mutants after us, and we were turned into humans. But I'm not a human Crash, I'm a dingo, I was born a dingo, everything's been turned upside down.
Crash: (kneels down beside her) Danni, I'm as upset by this as much as you are, but we have to bear it for now.
Danni: For now? What if there's no way of turning back? What if we're stuck this way for the rest of our lives?
Crash: Then at least we'll be stuck this way together. (He kisses her gently)
Danni: What was that about?
Crash: I just had a thought - we're the same species now.
Danni: So you think that would change anything between us?
Crash: I'm sorry. I didn't want to sound…
Danni: No. It's okay. (They look deeply into each other's eyes.) I had the same thought.
(They kiss lovingly within the confines of the dark elevator, forgetting their woes for one blissful moment.)
[Meanwhile, downstairs the fire from the explosion is spreading. Some of the mutants run away fearfully.]
Tommy-boy: Hey, that fire's getting big Rudy. Maybe we should leave.
Rudy: (Still fighting with Dingodile) Don't be telling me about fire. I got enough of it from freak-show.
Tabitha: You can fight another time. We are getting out of here now.
(Rudy stops fighting and follows Tabitha.)
Rudy: This isn't our last fight freak-show!
Dingodile: I'll be waiting fer ya!
Apex: Tabitha! What's this all about? I demand you tell me! (He runs after her)
Jacko: Hey, we can't let them get away. We got ta go afta' them.
Koala Kong: Do what you want. We're getting out of here before we fry. (The minions run leaving Jacko to pursue Katz alone. He goes after her through the kitchen where she and her group escaped.)
[In the kitchen]
Apex: Tabitha, (He grabs her by the wrist) You tell me NOW what you're doing!
Tabitha: Filthy human. You've bossed me around for the last time. I no longer need you.
(She pushes him into a rack of pots and pans. He is knocked unconscious.)
Tommy-boy: We just gonna leave him?
Tabitha: He is of no more use to us. (They leave him behind and exit the building.)
[Jacko runs into the kitchen after them. The smoke from the fire is becoming thick. He covers his nose and mouth with his jacket. Coughing and choking he makes his way through the kitchen stumbling upon Apex.]
Jacko: What's this? Are you okay? (He sees Apex is out cold. Sighing he lifts the limp body over his shoulder and carries him out of the burning kitchen into an ally.)
Cooper: Miss Katz, somebody's following us.
Tabitha: Don't worry - Bruno can take care of it.
Jacko: (Emerging from the building) Stop right thar', ya got a lot ta answer fer missy. (A shadow casts over him. He turns around slowly. Bruno is standing behind him holding Coco and Cortex struggling in his arms.)
Coco: Jacko, run!
Jacko: Let go 'a her ya big cur.
Cortex: What about me?
Jacko: Yeah. And him too!
Bruno: (growls) And what are you going to do about it?
Jacko: (quaking) I, I'm not afraid `a you.
Bruno: (leaning in close) Oh really?
Jacko: Yeah. (He kicks Bruno in the shin causing him to yelp and drop his captured.)
Coco: Let's get out of here! (The three run away meeting the minions across the street of the burning hotel.)
Tiny: Cortex back!
Moe: Wow I musst be drunk. The boss looksss like a bandicoot.
Joe: He IS a bandicoot.
Cortex: I'm not even going to bother asking.
Pinstripe: Hey, what's with the guy? (Points to Apex still over Jacko's shoulder.)
Jacko: I think it's that Apex guy.
Cortex: Apex! You have a lot to answer for. First you can get that half-witted Dr. Ranged to turn me back into a human!
Coco: Don't waste your breath Cortex - he's out cold.
(There is sudden wailing of sirens. Down the street a procession of fire trucks and Police cars come towards the hotel.)
Cortex: Ok, with one of you numbskulls attracted the cops?
(Each minion points to a different one.)
Coco: Wait, where's Crash and Danni?
Jacko: Didn't they leave with the crowd?
Coco: If they did, they would've found us by now. (she gasps) You don't think that they're still in the hotel do you?
[Meanwhile back in the burning hotel inside the stuck elevator, Danni and Crash are on the floor kissing passionately. They are unaware of the danger right outside the closed doors.]
Danni: Is it getting' hot in here?
Crash: Why, thank you.
Danni: No. I mean literally. I think it's gettin' warmer.
Crash: Now that you mention it, it is getting hot. (Smoke starts coming into the elevator.) Holy smoke!
Danni: You can say that again!
(Crash starts pounding on the elevator door, hoping someone will hear.)
Crash: Hello! Is anybody there!? We're trapped! Help!!!! (The smoke starts getting thick. Danni gets up and joins Crash.)
Danni: Help! Someone please!! (The smoke slowly fills the elevator, Danni and Crash hold each other, coughing and pounding the door.)
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