THE CERULEAN WIZARD
Episode 1 – Vials and ice
Scene: Crash’s home
Music: Celine Dion – “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” (Intro)
The room is empty, and everything is still, apart from an open window. A wind force opens a book on a small table.
First Page –
“It has been a fair few years fighting against Dr. Neo Cortex and stopping him try to take over the world. But just recently, a new enemy arrived here, and he imprisoned me and six of my friends and enemies, and is now going for world domination.
“I doubted that I would have the strength to escape…
“Or did I?”
(The image changes to a tour of Crash’s archipelago (a group of islands). The title sequence and opening credits play alongside it, and Mel C – “I Turn To You” gets played as the backing music. When the track finishes, the screen shows an airship. The camera zooms through a window.)
A dark beast was seen carrying Cortex by the collar of his shirt. Once there he chucks him inside and locks the door. He got up and saw that he wasn’t the only member of the Crash Team with problems - To his left he saw Coco with 4 of his henchmen in state of entrapment, and to his right he saw Crash Bandicoot collapsed on the floor…
Cortex: Psssst! (nudges him) Crash!
Crash: (moaning and rubbing his head) I don’t feel too good…
Cortex: Look, I know that you’re hurt, but we have to eliminate the new crook…
Crash: You mean as a team?
Cortex: (nods) We have to join forces… just to kill the Hitler wannabe!
Crash: Yeah, but before we could, we need to get outta here… but…
Cortex: But?!?
Crash: But I’m too weak to fight!
Cortex: Here, drink this… (draws out a potion from his pocket) It’ll make you feel a lot better.
Crash: (stares at the potion) Even if I take the vial, how could I fight without my bazooka…
Cortex: (sighs) Ammunition isn’t everything.
Crash drinks the liqueur.
Crash: Thanks, doc – I feel more powerful now! (attempts to break the door open, and failed)
Cortex: There IS an alternate route… (points to an air vent)
(Music restarts – Theme from “The Great Escape”)
Crash and Cortex climb through the air vent. A few minutes later, Crash fell from it down to the main corridor. A blue haired man in punk clothing spots him.
(The man sounds like Paul Phoenix from “Tekken”)
Man: An intruder! (runs up to him for a fight)
[Music changes – Cardigans – “My Favourite Game” (Instrumental)]
Crash got up and started fighting. The man charges towards him, and Crash dodged the attack! He attacked with a karate kick, but the man caught his leg, got the other and did the Pedigree on him. Crash struggled to get up…
Man: Look who’s got the last laugh now! (launches a white missile from a bazooka)
(everything starts running in slow motion)
Cortex: CRASH – LOOK OUT!!! (dives for Crash)
The missile came closer and closer… it struck a target… Crash was forced out of the way!
(Music stops)
Crash started gasping – he saw Cortex frozen solid!
Man: It’s just you and me, buster! (aims his missile)
Crash looked to the right, and saw a window. He dived through it and plunged a few thousand feet in the air…
[Screen fades, then the scene changes to the Medical room inside Cortex Castle. Music restarts – Celine Dion: “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” (Instrumental)]
Crash is seen telling his story to his friends and some of Cortex’s allies…
Crash: And then I jumped out of the window and ended up here.
Papu Papu: (shakes madly) Papu worried about new enemy.
Komodo Joe: Me too. I mean, he musssssssst be taught a lessssssssson!
Crash: Yeah, but how are we gonna do that?
N. Gin: Good question. We need to attack the enemy with everything we’ve got…
Pinstripe: Hang on – I got a solution here! (attempts to knock Crash out with a barrel of sleeping gas) You just need some rest if you want to go adventuring again. We’ll try searching for more info on these thugs, and then we’ll act.
Crash: Right! (yawns) That’ll be… interesting… (dozes off)
Pinstripe: I’m glad you mentioned it! (Turns to Joe and Papu) Papu! Joe! You take Crash in the recovery room. (Turns to N. Gin and Nitrus Brio) Brio! N. Gin! Prepare the heavy artillery!
N. Brio: W-w-we’re on it!
Pinstripe: (turns to Polar and Pura) Polar! Pura! You guys come and help me out in the lab.
All leave the room doing their duty.
Pura: I’ve a bad feeling about this…
Polar: Don’t panic, Pura! We’ll get the others back! Er, somehow…
*******************************************************
Episode 2 – The Path to the Punkster
Scene – The laboratory inside Cortex Castle
Music – Ruff Endz – “No More” (Instrumental)
We see Pinstripe, Polar and Pura searching through Cortex’s newspaper article collection for information on the new enemy…
Polar: Have you found anything yet, Pinstripe?
Pinstripe: Not yet, but I think I’ll find… G’day, what do we have here?
Pura: I’ll take that as a “yes”. (shouts) Let us see! (grabs Polar and rushes towards Pinstripe)
Pinstripe: Hmmm… the photograph perfectly matches Crash’s description. I think I found the culprit, cubs!
Polar: Who is it? I wanna thrash him!
Pinstripe: He’s a former Grand Theft Auto assassin called Tiko Cortex, also known as the “Cerulean Wizard”.
Pura: Stop right there – doesn’t the name sound familiar?
Pinstripe: Come to think of it, I heard rumours that he could be Dr. Cortex’s big brother!
Polar: (pauses) Carry on!
Pinstripe: It says that he leads a gang of 6 – Himself, his younger brother, Lio, his sisters, Haliana and Deksta, a wolverine, Private Boron, and a new recruit, Komodo Moe.
Pura: Make that 7 – When I saw Crash getting captured by this dork, Nitrous Oxide was helping out…
Polar: Who?
Pura: You know… the racing-obsessed alien who wanted to turn the world into a concrete parking lot!
Polar: Oh, him!
Pura: Read on, Pinnie!
Pinstripe: When the police finally caught them 9 years ago, they revealed their secret hideout in Scotland, where they peaked about before the dawn of the new decade.
Polar: Where abouts? Up the high road?
Pinstripe: No, in Loch Ness.
Pura: Thank you Pinstripe! Come on, Polar – we gotta kick Tiko’s butt all the way to 30 years ago!
OUT BACK
(Music changes – Radiohead – “Talk Show Host”)
Crash: Wow, N. Gin – My plane’s way cooler now!
N. Gin: (laughs) Too bad I didn’t take it to the Sahara!
Polar, Pura and Pinstripe arrive.
Crash: Hi guys! Check out what Brio and N. Gin did to my plane!
Pura: (gasps) Wow – new stuff!
Brio: You guessed it – the m-m-machine guns on the wings of the plane have been upgraded, the engine has been tweaked to move at twice the sp-sp-sp-speed of a regular plane, and some extra seats has been added for the hostages and rescue team. Unfortunately, the r-rescue team has to consist of only 3 people…
Crash: I’m certainly in!
Polar: I’m coming with you!
Crash: But… why?
Polar: I’m worried about you getting hurt, so I could be a bit of help. And besides, travelling the globe has been my lifelong dream!
Crash: Thanks Polar! (hugs him)
Joe: And the more the merrier!
Crash and Polar: Huh?
Joe: I knew mosssssst of the hosssssstagessssssss more than anyone elsssssssssse, ssssssso I could help out too!
Crash: Well what do you have that we don’t?
Joe: Ssssssscalesssssss!
Crash: Other than that, doodlebrain!
Joe: Well, I do have a few ninja weaponssssssss on me…
Crash: Hmmm… (pauses) We’ll let you on!
Joe jumps on board. Crash and Polar follow.
Crash: Okay… (starts the engine) Let’s ride!
(Music changes – Theme from “Monkey Island”)
As the plane leaves for Scotland, all of Crash’s companions cheer him on for luck…
*******************************************************
Episode 3 – Attack of the Pinkeye Fiend
Scene: Loch Ness, Scotland
Music: Travis – “Driftwood” (Instrumental)
Crash is seen at the bank of the lake, with his head ducked underwater. A few seconds later, he brought it back out, whilst at the same time, Polar and Joe catch up…
Polar: (puffing) Did you find the hideout?
Crash: Yeah, but there is one small catch… we have to swim our way there…
Joe: Ssssssssssswim?!? I’m not going down there!
Crash: Look, we’re here to rescue your friends. Polar, you said that travelling the world was your lifelong dream!
Polar: I guess you’re right.
Crash: And Joe, you said that you wanted to slay your brother when we find him…
Joe: Oh yeah – I forgot!
Crash: And the only way to proceed is a swim to the hideout!
Polar and Joe: (depressingly) Fine – let’s go.
(Backing music changes to Lonestar – “Amazed” (chorus)
The gang swam their way to the bottom of the lake to reach the hideout. 2 minutes later they arrive at their location…
IN THE HIDEOUT
[Music changes - Space – “Neighbourhood” (Instrumental)]
The gang are seen gasping for air…
Crash: (panting) Now that we’re here… (puffs) …I guess we should start… (wheezes) …looking for hostages.
Joe: (gasping) Good idea… (pants) …but what if we get caught?
Polar: Don’t worry about me… (gasps) …I’m a master of camouflage!
The gang stop panting.
Crash: Okay, if we have to find anyone, we’re best splitting up.
Polar and Joe: Fine with us!
Crash: Polar, you check the high road. Joe, you check the low road. And I’ll be in Scotland afore ye!
Polar and Joe started laughing.
Crash: Okay, let’s split!
The gang wander off in different directions, and it wasn’t long until Polar found something…
IN THE STOREROOM
(Music changes – Theme from “The Pink Panther”)
Polar: Creepy… (walks inside, towards a table) Hey, there’s some keys here… (picks them up) This could be useful… (walks off with them, but walks into some ooze before realizing it) What’s going on… (looks behind him, and sees a green-haired man with pinkeye) HOLY SHIPWRECK! (starts squealing)
[Backing music changes to Bomfunk MCs – “Freestyler” (Outro)]
Crash and Joe enter the room.
Crash: We heard you scre… Holy cow!!!!!
Joe: Yeah, what’ssssssss going on?
Polar: Hey, get me out of this goo and take care of the pirate behind me! (squeals)
*******************************************************
Episode 4 – Tiger Trouble
Scene: The storeroom in Tiko’s hideout
Music: Sisqo – “Unleash The Dragon” (Instrumental)
Crash and Joe are angry for what the man did to Polar…
Crash: What do you think you’re doing with my polar bear?
(The man sounds like Moe from “The Simpsons”)
Man: YOUR polar bear? Uh-oh… you’re the hostage that broke free! (steals the keys from Polar and throws them down a hatch)
Joe: Look, whoever you are you ain’t gonna take our friendssssssss AND take over the world…
Man: Oh, but I can, can’t I, or my name isn’t Lio Cortex. And it is!
[Music changes to Bomfunk MC’s – “Freestyler” (Instrumental)]
Joe: Grrrrr…
Crash: I’ll handle this one… (walks up to Lio) TELL ME WHERE MY FRIENDS ARE!
Lio: Never! (dashes out of the room)
Crash: You ain’t gonna get away THAT easily… (follows him)
Crash chased Lio to the end of the corridor, where there was a dead end. Once there, he body slammed on top of him.
Crash: Now tell me where everyone is!
Lio: (faintly) Not a chance!
Crash: (got off Lio) Joe! Take it away!
Joe tossed his swords towards Lio… and missed him by the skin of the teeth!
Lio: (puffing and panting) Talk about a close shave!
Crash: Now can you tell me where they are?
Lio: Not in a million years!
Crash: Okay… (takes out some wumpa fruit from his backpack) Suit yourself! (chucks the fruit at Lio until he was out of ammunition)
Lio: (in a muffled voice) Now I know what a pineapple is like!
Crash: Now…
Lio: Uh-uh.
Crash: OK! (runs to the storeroom and comes back with a freed Polar and some ooze) You’ve now put yourself in a sticky situation! (covers Lio in ooze)
Lio: (muffled) Help! Lemme out!
Crash: As long as you tell me where the hostages are, or I’ll chuck ya outside!
Lio looked through the window and saw the Loch Ness monster waiting for its lunch.
(Music stops)
Lio: OK, I give! I only know that one of them is in the east wing…
Crash: East wing? Hang on… (huddles with Polar and Joe)
Joe: What if he’ssssssss lying?
Polar: Yeah, like… Shall we trust him?
Crash: Good question. I think we should split up again to see if it’s true…
Polar: Good idea!
The huddle breaks up, and the gang split up.
15 MINUTES LATER
[Music restarts – Papa Rouch – “Last Resort” (Instrumental)]
Crash, Polar and Joe return to Lio after rescuing a hostage… Tiny Tiger!
Crash: So I gotta admit, you were right!
Lio: Yeah. Now can you leave me alone?
Tiny: Not without revenge!
Crash, Polar and Joe: Huh?
Tiny: Tiny got locked in cell by Lio! Tiny angry! Tiny want revenge!
Tiny grabs Lio, smashes the window and chucks him outside, where he was fed to the Loch Ness monster.
Crash: WHY?!?
Tiny: Er… Tiny mad, that’s all.
Polar: What do you mean, that’s all? This is an underwater hideout, and now that you broke a window, we could all drown in here!
Tiny: Tiny sorry.
Joe: Now we jussssst need a way outta here – the water’ssssssss sssssssoaking my feet…
*******************************************************
Episode 5 – Aqua Crisis
Scene: Tiko’s hideout, 23% flooded
Music: al – “Take On Me” (Instrumental)
The gang are stuck for a way to escape the building that suits everyone’s needs…
Crash: Can’t we just swim to the surface?
Tiny: No – Tiny can’t swim.
Polar: How about one of us carries you to the surface as we swim?
Joe: No chhhhhhancccccccce! Tiny’sssssss way too heavy to be carried!
Polar: Oh yeah!
The water reaches their hips, and Polar had to float on the water.
Tiny: Be quick! Tiny no want Tiny pants wet!
Crash: I’m trying!
Crash’s mind went on the ooze in the storeroom that Polar caught himself in.
Crash: Just hang on… (wades to the storeroom)
Joe: Brrrrr! The water’sssssss c-c-c-cold! Hurry up!
Crash comes back with a block of ooze.
Crash: Okay, I’m back! Here – rub this on your hands!
The gang did as they’re told.
Crash: Okay – through the window!
The gang swam through the window one by one. When it came to Tiny’s turn…
Tiny: Er… Tiny worried about strong current pulling Tiny back… huh? Hey…
Joe pulled Tiny into the water and the power of the ooze dragged them up to the surface.
5 MINUTES LATER, AT THE BANKSIDE
[Music changes – David Gray – “Babylon” (Instrumental)]
After all that effort the gang are seeing taking a well-deserved break.
Joe: I can’t believe how cold the water wasssssssss…
Crash: That’s ‘cos it’s colder than back home…
Tiny: Oh, Tiny forgot!
Polar: What now?
Tiny: Tiny know where someone else is!
Crash: Before we go on, is he in the hideout?
Tiny: No – hideout empty. No one hurt.
Polar sighs with relief.
Crash: Is it my sister?
Joe: Isssssss my brother holding the recruit for ranssssssssom?
Polar: Are we going to the Antarctic Circle?
Tiny: No, no, no! Dingodile dumped at Victoria Falls in East Africa. Oxide has Dingodile.
Crash: Oxide? Oh man… I guess he wants revenge for losing to me in the racing contest!
Polar: I suppose so.
Joe: We’d besssssssst go there right now!
Crash: No, the fuel tank’s nearly empty and there’s only enough to fly back home without making a pit stop!
Tiny: Let’s go!
Polar: Yeah!
The gang climb aboard and the plane takes off again for the lands down under…
*******************************************************
Episode 6 – Upstream Chaos
Scene: Victoria Falls, Zambia
Music: Jon Bon Jovi – “Blaze of Glory” (Chorus)
The gang are seen climbing up the side of the waterfall to reach Oxide…
Polar: (puffing) I’m tired. Can’t we stop somewhere?
Joe: No, thissssss issssss a waterfall and there’ssssssss no sssssssstoping on a waterfall.
Tiny: If Polar tired, climb on Tiny back.
And so he did.
AT THE TOP
(Music changes - Darude – “Sandstorm”)
Crash was the first to reach the top, and the first things he saw was…
Crash: It looks like Oxide’s controlling a crane or something… Double D is all tied up and the rope’s attached to the hook!
Joe and Polar follow.
Joe: I undersssssssstand! Oxide is lowering Dingodile into the rapids!
Polar: Yeah, but we need a way to take him on… (looks down) Huh? Where did Tiny go?
Tiny is now sneaking behind the crane for a surprise attack.
Oxide: Okay, Double D, get ready for your drop… (draws out his laser gun)
Tiny: (gasps and whispers) What? No one take friends without fight from Tiny! (starts shaking the crane)
Oxide: HOI! Who did that? (looks behind him) YOU, YOU MISERABLE TIGER!!!
Tiny: Tiny angry at what Oxide did to Tiny friend!
Tiny starts damaging the crane by kicking it, punching it, slamming into it and eventually tossing it to the other side of the rapids.
Oxide: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!
The hook and the rope disconnect, and Dingodile falls towards the rapids…
Crash: I’ll handle this one… (runs towards the rapids)
Polar: Crash, wait!!!
*******************************************************
Episode 7 – Deeper and downstream
Scene: Victoria Falls, Zambia
Music: Sister Bliss – “Sister Sister”
Dingodile was drifting down the rapids at a fast pace. He tried to wriggle free and swim to shore…
Crash: Hold on, Double D!
Crash dived into the rapids and swam over to Dingo as fast as he could…
Tiny: Please! Save Dingo!
Polar: Hang in there, man!
Crash successfully grabbed him on the rope and tried to reach the bank of the river…
Crash: Grrr…. Darn current… (gasps)
(Everything starts to run in slow motion)
The waterfall was getting closer and closer too him, and he was nearly at the edge of the falls…
Crash: (faintly) Almost… there…
As soon as he tried to grab the bankside, he and Dingo fell down the waterfall to their death…
(Music stops)
Tiny: Dingo!
Polar: Crash!
Joe: Aaaaaaaaargh!
Polar: HANG ON!
The gang rush down towards the bottom of the waterfall quickly, trying to search for him. It wasn’t long until they reached the bottom of the waterfall…
Polar: (panicking) Joe! You dive underwater and try and find them!
Joe: I’ll try!
Joe dived underwater and started searching for Crash and Dingo…
2 MINUTES LATER
Joe: (thinks) I think I need help here… the current’sssssssss too rocky!
Joe popped his head back up on the surface of the water, with a sad, worried face…
Tiny: Well?
Polar: What did you find?
Joe sighed, shrugged his shoulders and tears started rolling down his face…
Joe: (mournfully) I’m sssssssssorry to have to tell you guyssssssss thissssssss… but…
Polar: Spit it out!
Joe: (mournfully) I think… their bodiesssssssssss have drifted downsssssssstream!
Polar: (gasps and panics) Oh, no!
Tiny: Joe be joking, right?
Joe: It’ssssssss true… (tears rolled down his face onto the water surface))
Polar: Crash… why…
Tiny: (sobs) Tiny sorry… (sobs)
5 MINUTES LATER
Polar and Tiny: (mournfully) Why did you have to go?
Joe: (mournfully) Look, I know your feelingssssssss… but we HAVE to resssssssscue the othersssssss… even if it takessssssss ussssssssssss forever!
Polar: (mournfully) Yeah, but what’s the point when we don’t have Crash anymore?
[Music restarts – Prodigy – “Firestarter” (Intro)]
Suddenly, a dark figure appeared at the edge of the forest on the other side of the river, with some strange items in his hand.
Polar: He doesn’t look very friendly…
Joe: Ssssssstand back… I have double ssssssssswordssssssssss and I’m not afraid to usssssssse them…
The figure jumped over the river and showed its identity. Joe fainted at the chance…
*******************************************************
Episode 8 – Belly Power
Scene: Victoria Falls, Zambia
Music: Lonestar – “Amazed” (Instrumental)
The mystery guest revealed his identity and was no other than…
Polar: Wow! Papu Papu – how did you get here?
Papu: Papu knew gang be in trouble, so Papu decide to drop in!
Tiny: Cool!
Papu drops 2 stunned recruits. Smiles arrive on Tiny and Polar’s faces…
Tiny: Oh, and Crash and Dingodile are safe! Thanks so much!
Papu: (laughs) No problemo!
Polar: (giggles) Tell ya wot – you should help us out more often!
Suddenly a voice was heard from above…
(Music changes – Hi-Gate – “Pitchin’”)
Voice: STOP!!!!
Crash: (gasps) Stop?
Dingodile: Look above, mate!
The gang see Nitrous Oxide climbing down the side of the waterfall…
Oxide: You’ll never get away with this, you miserable termites… (pants)
Crash: (puffs) Oh yeah… (pants) We’ll see about that… (collapses)
Dingodile: Sorry mate – you need a rest.
Crash: (faintly) But why?
Dingodile: Because you used up your energy rescuing ME!
Crash: (faintly) No wonder…
Oxide: Let me take you in as my prisoners!
Papu: No way! (fires his slingshot at Oxide)
Oxide: Ow! Stop! Cut it out!
Papu shook his head and continued shooting.
Oxide: Oof! Help! If that’s the way you’re gonna play… Ouch! …You have to play the hard way… (draws out his laser and fires)
The laser went straight for Papu. As it approached its target, he looked confident.
The belly struck the target… it bounced off the belly and went back to Oxide with an explosion, sending him in the air!
Oxide: Seems like I’m booming my way back to Gasnoxia! Oh well… (screams)
5 MINUTES LATER, BACK AT THE PLANE
[Music changes – Honeyz – “Never Let You Down” (Instrumental)]
Crash: I really couldn’t thank you enough, Papu! (gives him 5) Well, I guess we should leave here, shall we?
Dingodile: Yeah, we’d better. There are still some more recruits to rescue, and Tiko and the others MUST be given the old torching!
Polar: I now see a pattern here – There’s like one recruit in one place, another in a different location and so on… I think I’ve got a strategy ready for next time!
Crash: A strategy, huh? I’d like to hear it!
Joe: And due to the actionssssssss of ssssssssome of the recruitssssssss here now, I think the line-up needsssssssss altering…
Tiny: Tiny no wanna go out!
Papu: Don’t worry – you probably won’t.
Tiny gives out a sigh of relief.
Crash: Let’s just save some of that business for when we get back, OK?
Joe: Roger!
Crash: Okay, let’s bail out!
The gang head for the plane and leave for the lands down under…
TO BE CONTINIUED
********************
OUT-TAKES OF THE SAGA
Cortex: Here, drink this… (draws out a potion from his pocket) It’ll make you feel a lot better.
Crash: (speaks like a drunk) Even if I take the vial… (starts hiccupping) Sorry – It’s not my fault I had too much lager last night… (hiccups)
Cortex: (sighs) Cut.
**************************
Pinstripe: Come to think of it, I heard rumours that he could be Dr. Cortex’s big brother!
Polar: (pauses) Er… What’s my line again?
Pura: “Carry on”! C’mon, Polar – can’t you remember a single 2-liner?
Polar: (blushes) Sorry!
*****************************
Polar: This could be useful… (walks off with the keys but slips on the ooze) Hey, who melted the sticky stuff?
(Camera turns to Pura in a deckchair, watching the take)
Pura: Sorry – It was too cold, so I turned the heater on full blast!
Polar: Why… it’s too hot! Janitor – turn it off!
*************************
Crash: WHY?!?
Tiny: Er… Tiny mad… (starts laughing)
Crash: Hey, what’s the hold up?
Tiny continues laughing.
Polar: It’s probably the way you said your line.
Crash: Oh…
*******************************
Polar: Are we going to Antar… (pauses) Can we cut? I need to go to the little polar bear’s room!
Crash: Why didn’t you say so before the take? Oh, for crying out loud…
*************************
Tiny: (gasps and whispers) What? No one take friends without fight… (slips on a loose banana peel) Who did that?
Camera swings round to Rilla Roo in a deck chair.
Rilla: Sorry – I’m not house-trained yet!
Tiny: Call for cleaner!
****************************
Polar: (panicking) Joe! You dive underwater and try and find them!
Joe: I’ll try! (dives underwater, but comes back out immediately) Brrrr! It’sssssssssss too c-c-c-cold!!!!!
Polar: Okay… Janitor! You forgot to turn the heater on!
***********************************
Director: And action!
Oxide: (climbing down) So we meet again, Papu Papu, for the last time…
The crew start laughing.
Oxide: Okay, I’ll do my real line this time! Let me get myself back into position…
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