THE CERULEAN WIZARD
Episode 17 – Sister Blister
Scene: Crash’s home, notebook still open
Music: Celine Dion – “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” (Intro)
17th page –
“The crisis went on severely – despite the fact that Cortex was safe and sound. The problem was that we lost Boron to Tiko, the Cerulean Wizard.
“The rescue team tried their best to think of an idea, but it took them hours before they came up with several plans at once…”
(The screen changes to the TV room inside Cortex Castle and the music stops.)
Polar was in there watching TV and waiting for his match…
TV: Hello and welcome to WWF Unforgiven! I’m John Ross and tonight’s matches include Edge and Christian vs the Hardy Boys in a steel cage for the Tag Team title, Triple H vs Kurt Angle in a Special Referee match with Commissioner Mick Foley, and tonight’s highlight – A four way battle for the WWF title, the contenders being Kane, The Undertaker, Chris Benoit and the current title holder, The Rock. Who will be the victor?
Polar: DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN’?
Pura came in unexpectedly.
Pura: Do you mind? We’re discussing important business next door.
Polar: Sorry, Tigger!
Pura left the room and headed back to the Laboratory.
AT THE LAB
N. Gin was seen working on the radar, Joe was sneezing all over the place and Cortex, still depressed, was playing on a blues guitar. Pura came in, looking serious…
Pura: Okay, if you have any ideas for retrieving Boron, say “Aye”.
N. Gin: Aye!
Joe: Aye… TISSSSSSSSSSSHOO!
Cortex just ignored Pura completely.
Pura: (rushes towards Cortex) Grrrr…. Put that thing down! You know better!
Cortex: I know, but I’m still worried about Boron…
Pura: (sighs) Oh boy… Look, maybe I just didn’t explain well enough…
[Music restarts – Armoud Van Helden – “You Don’t Know Me” (Instrumental)]
Computer: Hostage found! Press space for further information. (repeats)
N. Gin: Okay, I’m on it! (presses the button)
Computer: Another hostage has been located on Hokkaido, the Northern island of Japan. Coco Bandicoot has been poisoned and knocked unconscious in a hidden house called the “House of Haunts”, and is being guarded by Komodo Moe… (fizzes and breaks down)
Pura: Oh no… NOT COCO! (gets enthusiastic) Count me in – I gotta help her out!
N. Gin: I used to know him – he was really mean to me! I gotta teach him a lesson!
Cortex: Ditto… (puts the guitar down) The relationship between Moe and I were like chalk and cheese.
Pura: Meaning?
Cortex: That he hardly did what he was told.
Joe: Count me in too… ACHOOO! I gotta reassssssssssson with him… ATISSSSSSSSSSSSSOO!
Pura: No Joe, you can’t. You got the Antarctic cold from Doc Brio and Rilla. You need to rest before you spread it to other members of the group, making them unable to fight.
Joe: Sssssssssssincccccccce you put it that way… ACHOO! I’ll just stay here and heal up.
Pura: Okay, let’s go! (rushes outside)
N. Gin: Wait a minute… we’ve got a problem…
OUT BACK
(Music changes – Radoihead – “Talk Show Host”)
Crash was seen sound asleep in a hammock, until…
Pura: I gotta get Coco back… er… (stunned) How can it be? (rushes towards Crash) Crash, we need to talk. (tips him over)
Crash: Ow! What?
Pura: I think the plane’s in trouble…
Crash: The WHAT?!?
N. Gin: (rushes out) That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! The plane is in serious state of repair, as you can see…
Crash: Oh, no…
Pura: Take it easy… we’ll think of something…
(Music changes – Theme from “The Banana Splits”)
Pinstripe was seen riding what looks like a car from the 1920’s towards the gang.
(Music stops)
Pinstripe: Hey, guess what? I won this baby in the bingo!
Crash: Yeah, but how useful is an old-fashioned car? Not very to me…
Pinstripe: Just look at the features it came with… (pulls out the manual) It has a raft underneath, snow skis, several different sets of tyres… Need to go on?
Crash: No thanks – This thing is well cool! Now we’re definitely ready to kick some dragon butt! (climbs in the car with Pura, Cortex and N. Gin) Hang on, we have one thing missing… where’s Polar?
Polar was being dragged out by Dingodile.
Polar: But I wanna stay to watch the wrestling!
Dingodile: Don’t worry, mate – when your match comes on, I’ll tell you what’s happening over the phone!
Polar: Thanks. (jumps in the car)
Crash: Okay… (starts the engine) Let’s go!
[Music restarts – Limp Biskit – Take A Look Around (Chorus)]
The car zoomed towards the water, inflated the raft and headed towards Japan…
*******************************************************
Episode 18 – Shanghai Komodo
Scene: The House of Haunts, hidden in Hokkaido, Japan (pitch black)
Cortex: Lights please.
(Music starts – Chemical Brothers – “Block Rockin’ Beats”)
Crash turned on a flashlight and shone it around the place. As the gang walk further into the house, they have worries…
Pura: I don’t think this is a good idea… It’s called the House of Haunts because it’s a haunted mansion… (panics) I don’t like this!
Polar: Calm down, you baby – everyone knows there’s no such thing as ghosts! And even if there was, the flashlight will scare them off, so you’re safe.
Pura: Yeah, right.
(Music stops)
The gang stop at a massive door, locked by a switch 8 metres above them.
Crash: This may be easy to break open…
Crash jumped up onto the switch and tried to turn it…
Crash: Oh no… It’s too tight!
N. Gin: This is where I come in. Get down and give me a try!
Crash got down and let N. Gin try one of his robotic machines to open it…
N. Gin: I hope this works…
The robot’s arms grabbed onto the switch and tried to turn it… but they snapped off!
N. Gin: Oh no… how can that fail me? We surely DO need help to get through this…
Cortex: Okay, here comes Mr. Muscle…
He drew out his laser and shot furiously at the switch with his gun… and the switch turned! The door swung open slowly.
Pura: All right! I gotta see Coco!
Crash: Pura, wait…
Pura stepped in and saw Coco at the other end of the room, tied up in chains and looking lifeless…
Pura: (screams) Is she dead?
Cortex: No, Pura, she’s just unconscious.
Pura: Phew! Now how can we revive her?
Cortex: I know just the trick… (draws out a liqueur from his pocket)
[Music restarts – 666 – “The Devil” (Instrumental)]
Suddenly, a dark figure came through the ceiling, drawing out a couple of swords…
Crash: Grrr… I got a bazooka… (points at Cortex) …and he’s got a laser and we’re not afraid to use ‘em!
The creature stepped out of the darkness… It was Komodo Moe!
Moe: I’ve been exxxxxxxxxxxpecting you guysssssssss for a long time!
Crash: Yeah, well we’re here for Coco!
Moe: Well show me what you guys have!
Cortex: Stand back – I’m going in! (fires his laser at Moe and shocked him)
Crash: Yeah, that’s using the old didgeridoo!
Moe revived quickly and sent his swords flying… They struck Crash!
Cortex: (gasps) Crash – are you okay?
Crash: (dizzily) Is that you mommy?
Cortex: Oh, great… (turns to the rest of the gang) Guys – try and sort him out! (turns to Moe angrily) Look here, sonny – You were a failure to me in the past, but now revenge!
Moe: Oh yeah? We’ll see about that…
*******************************************************
Episode 19 – N-ter the Dragon
Scene: Beneath the House of Haunts, hidden in Hokkaido, Japan
Music: Santos – “Camels” (Club version intro)
Cortex looked at Moe. Moe looked at Cortex. Both looking angry, they were ready to fight for Coco…
Cortex: You aren’t going to get away with this…
Moe: Oh yeah? Well think about it – you were the ssssssssstupidest person I oughta know…
Cortex: Eh? You can’t insult me like that!
Pura: Yeah, pig-face!
Moe: I bet I can – I can say truthfully that you stink so badly I can smell you from the other hemisphere!
(Music changes – Storm – “Time To Burn”)
Cortex: Why you little… (growls) You’ve asked for it! (fires his gun at Moe)
Moe reflected the gun shot with his sword until Cortex ran out of bullet power…
Cortex: Oh no… (chucks his gun behind him) This will start to get messy…
Moe came charging for him and swung his sword at Cortex. But he ducked and dived at every slash he made, and stepped out of all of his body slams…
Moe: You think you’re so fast, but I’ve got skill! (chucks a sword at Cortex)
Once again Cortex evaded the attack and this time around stole the sword from Moe…
Moe: Hey – You can’t do that! Come here…
Cortex: Catch me if you can!
Moe growled and slashed towards Cortex… who blocked the slash with the stolen blade! They both went into an ancient oriental battle, with Moe gradually getting weaker…
Pura: (panics) Come on! Do it for Coco!
But suddenly, disaster struck. Moe sent out a slash from his sword and Cortex earned a severe slash on his chest…
Moe: Surrender now, weakling!
Cortex: (pants) I… can’t go any further… (collapses)
N. Gin: DOC!
Polar: Oh, we need help here… Is anyone up for the challenge?
Crash: Yep – I’m coming back!
Pura: Crash?!? But how did you revive so quickly?
Crash: Ask N. Gin, idiot! (turns to Moe) You’re gonna get a severe torching right now… (draws out his bazooka and fires)
The missile went flying, and Moe was struck and was sent flying out of the building…
Moe: Oh well… Back to the drawing boaaaaaaaaard… (fades)
[Music restarts – Korgis – “Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometime” (Instrumental)]
Crash: (rushes to Cortex) Are you okay?
Cortex: (faintly) I doubt it… (shows the scar)
Crash: Ewww… gross!
N. Gin: Hang in there… (rushes to Cortex with a first aid kit)
Cortex: (faintly) Hang on… (draws the potion from his pocket) Please take this to Coco. You know that she needs it a lot more than I do.
Crash: Yeah, I suppose you’re right… (rushes to Coco and frees her) Here sis, take this… (injected the potion into her body)
Coco started to regain consciousness… she opened one eye… then opened the other…
Coco: (very faintly) Thank… you… so… much… for… saving… me.
Pura: (excitedly) YEAH! Coco’s back!
Coco: (stands up) Pura! Come to mama!
Pura rushed up and cuddled Coco with happiness.
Pura: I’m so happy for you!
Cortex: (pulls his shirt down and stands up) Well it won’t have happened if it weren’t for yours tru…
[(Music changes – Limp Biskit – “My Generation” (Instrumental)]
A few small footsteps were heard.
Cortex: (panics) What was that?
Pura: I dunno…
Polar: I think I heard it before…
Then a couple of eyes were seen in the darkest corner of the room…
N. Gin: The eyes look familiar too…
Then the creature leapt out of the darkness…
Crash: Uh-oh… Incoming thing at 3 o’clock!
The creature was heading straight for Cortex…
Coco: Look out below…
But it was too late… The creature went on top of Cortex, with its claws out for a fight…
*******************************************************
Episode 20 – Quake Manoeuvres
Scene: Beneath the House of Haunts, hidden in Hokkaido, Japan
Music: Theme from “Mission Impossible”
The gang were seen face to face with a mysterious creature, and it was on top of Cortex…
Coco: This doesn’t look good…
Pura: Yeah – this thing doesn’t look friendly…
The creature got its mouth open, showing its teeth…
Cortex: (worried) Look – whoever you are – have mercy!
[Music changes – Steps – “Heartbeat” (Instrumental)]
The creature stared at him for a further few seconds… then got out its tongue and started licking him!
Polar: Huh?!? That’s strange…
Crash: Yeah – why the slobber?
N. Gin: Probably it’s toxic…
Cortex: Ugh… Whoever you are… Get it off! Stop doing that!
The creature showed its face from the darkness… It was Private Boron!
Crash: (screams) Him again! (pulls out his bazooka)
Cortex: Pull it back… (got up) I think he’s left the dark side for good!
Crash: Huh?
[Music changes – Theme from “Big Brother” (UK Version)]
An earthquake started to shake and the house started to tear apart…
Cortex: No time to explain – we need to get out!
The gang panicked and rushed outside, heading straight for the car. Coco came out last, while at the same time a crack was splitting the ground into 2, and she fell down it…
Coco (squeals) HEEEEEEEEEEELP!
Crash: COCO! Hang on! (rushes after her)
Coco was seen hanging onto the edge of the crack and crying for help. Crash rushed to try and grab her… but the earthquake caused the edge to crumble and Coco fell further down, squealing for help…
Crash: COCO…
Cortex: I’ll handle this one… (puts on a jetpack and heads for the crack)
Pura: Doc, wait – you don’t understand the risks…
But it was too late – Cortex already flew down for her, leaving Crash biting his nails – and nearly Polar’s claws – with panic. Within a minute, Coco was successfully grabbed and transported to the top…
Crash: Hang in there, sis!
Pura: Yeah – don’t let the quake beat you!
Polar: This is chaos… (phone rings) Hang on… (answers it) Hi. Huh? The match is on?!? (dashes away from the crack)
Cortex’s jetpack power started to run low… and stopped near the top…
Crash: Hang on! (reaches for Cortex)
Cortex: Coco – hang on to my belly! (reaches for Crash)
The hands tried to link up, but were too short to reach…
Crash: (pants) It’s too short…
Boron howled, rushed towards the crack and attempted to jump down…
Crash: Hey, wolfie – don’t be a hero! (grabs his hind legs)
Boron hanged upside down and grabbed Cortex’s hand.
Cortex: Thanks! Now it’s just a case of getting up successfully…
Crash: I’ll try… (pulls with all his might, but has no luck) This is too heavy for me to handle… hey guys – help me out!
N. Gin and Pura rushed towards them, whilst Polar was still on the phone…
Polar: Oh no… Come on, Rock – you can beat Benoit!
Crash: Polar – put that thing down!
Polar: But…
Crash: No buts – just put it down!
Polar: (turns to the phone) Hang on – I’ll be right back! (rushes to the crack)
The gang lined themselves behind Crash grabbing each other’s shoulders…
Crash: Okay… now PULL!
The gang pulled as hard as they can. It took nearly 27 seconds, but they successfully lifted the victims up. Then the earthquake stops.
[Music changes – B*Witched – “I Shall Be There” (Instrumental)]
Coco: (pants) Thanks – I couldn’t have survived without you guys!
Cortex: (puffs) I couldn’t agree more…
Crash: Hey – don’t mention it!
Boron: ROAAR ROAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR! (WAZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!)
Polar: Speaking of which, we could use the same squad for future reference!
Pura: Yeah!
Polar: Oh, hang on – (rushes to the phone) How’s the match… oh dang! (chucks the phone down the crack) The phone’s dead! Oh well…
Crash: You’ll get the results back home, I promise you!
Polar: Yeah… I really want The Rock to win that!
N. Gin: Oh well… back down under we go!
Pura: Tally ho!
(Music stops)
The gang drive back home in the car, while at the same time, a couple of spies came out from behind the bushes…
Tiko: No wonder where that beast went to… Hey Deksta - Any ideas in retrieving him?
Deksta: Not now… I feel sick… (throws up behind the bushes)
Tiko: Fine… At least I’ve a plan to wipe his pathetic gang out… then no one will stop me! (laughs vilely)
******************************************************
Episode 21 – Storm of the Isles
Scene: Outside Cortex Castle
Music: Placebo – “Taste In Men” (Instrumental)
A couple of well-known beings were standing there, with eyes on their target…
Tiko: (laughs) Thar she blows! Once I have this little beauty abandoned, then no one will stop my plan for domination…
Deksta: (immediately after Tiko finished speaking) Okay, so you’re going to storm Cortex Castle, but for what purpose?
Tiko: Sis, you don’t understand that the old place is their strongest link to the rest of the team. After separating it from our enemies, they will be weak of power, and will never stop us from taking over the world! (laughs loudly)
INSIDE
[Music changes – Architects – “Body Groove” (Instrumental)]
The gang were in the labs and the computer was buzzing again…
Computer: Hostage found! Press space for further information. (repeats)
N. Gin: Okay, I bet that’s the last time I’ll hear that… (presses the button)
Coco: It’ll be obvious to who it would be…
Computer: The final hostage is located a few miles from the small town of Talca in Chile, South America. This is where Koala Kong is currently burnt by the heat power of Deksta Cortex, who is the youngest sister in the group, and also the most powerful… (fizzes and breaks down)
Coco: Uh-oh – this could get hot…
Crash: Yeah, we need a good team to achieve that. This includes you, doc!
Cortex: I dunno…
[Music changes – Surreal – “You Take My Breath Away” (Instrumental)]
Suddenly a cannonball was shot through the window.
Crash: I think it looks like we ALL have to leave!
OUTSIDE
Tiko and Deksta were seen shooting cannonballs from tanks straight at the building.
ROUND THE BACK
Crash: Now we need somewhere to pack a group of 14…
Coco: How about the ferry over there? (points to it)
Crash: Good idea! (rushes towards it)
The gang got into the boat and sped off across the pacific…
A FEW HOURS LATER, AT TALCA, CHILE
[Music changes – Melanie C – “Northern Star” (Instrumental)]
Crash and Coco were outside all packed up in camping gear, waiting for the others…
Crash: Hey guys – I’m waiting!
Pura: Okay, hold your horses… (steps outside) Polar may take a while because he’s in a chat with Rilla.
Polar: More like have been – I’ve finished! (came out looking more giddy than usual)
Pura: Hey, what’s with that weird attitude? You look like you drank a galleon of spirit!
Polar: I know – It’s just that I’m happy that The Rock has kept the WWF title!
Pura: (sighs) Is that all you ever talk about – WWF this, WWF that?
Polar: Errrrrrrr, nope!
Crash: Okay, four of us isn’t enough. I say we need at least one more, eh Cortex?
Cortex: I’d love to, but I’ve got trouble with Boron at the moment…
Boron comes out jumping up and down with a long leather strap in his mouth.
Cortex: (turns to Boron) Okay, a game of Tug-o-war, I promise!
Crash: (sighs) That counts him out… Anyone who wants to help, say…
Pinstripe: (barges out) …WAZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!
Crash: Hey, you read my memory! I’d love to take you, but…
Pinstripe started shooting his tommy gun at Crash.
Crash: Hey, cut it out! Of course we’ll take you!
Pinstripe: Hooray! Something I always wanted! (thinks) I should do this more often – people treat me with respect after my tommy gun runs out!
Pura: Okay, how far can you see her?
Coco: (looking through her binoculars) It seems like she’s 4 miles ahead on a bearing of 356 degrees.
Crash: Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go!
The gang dash off towards the distance, ready to teach Deksta a lesson…
*******************************************************
Episode 22 – Dare Power
Scene: The middle of the desert land in Chile, 3 miles from Talca
Music: Jon Bon Jovi – “Blaze of Glory” (Instrumental)
Crash, Coco, Polar, Pura and Pinstripe were seen walking towards their target, until…
Coco: (looking through her binoculars) Hey – I see a signal up ahead!
Crash: I see it too!
Pinstripe: Yeah, it’s kinda like one of those red Indian smoke signals.
Pura: And if the computer said that Bear-boy was getting fried, then this could be it!
Polar: Great! Let’s go!
5 MINUTES LATER, AT THE SITE
(Music changes – Theme from “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly”)
Crash and Coco were preparing for battle, Polar and Pura were analysing the situation and Pinstripe was devising a strategy…
Polar: Looks like she’s frying him with an old torch or something.
Pura: Yeah. I can tell from since the Battle Party that he doesn’t tend to like the heat.
Crash: And I don’t think that that chick is going to make him tomorrow’s supper!
Pinstripe: Hold it – I heard from information sources that she was a stunt-double for Buena Vista studios before she joined Tiko and the others. Her skill could give her an advantage!
Coco: Hmmm… (thinks) Deksta, if you are psychic, so you think you’ve got girl power, eh? When I come face to face with you, I’ll prove my point that you suck.
Pinstripe: Okay, weapons on the ready?
Crash: Yes sir! (draws out his bazooka)
Coco: Ditto! (draws out a familiar weapon)
Pinstripe: (stunned) Huh?!? Is that weapon what I think it is?
Crash: Yeah, I saw it before…
Crash’s mind casted back to his escape from the airship…
***************************************************
Tiko: Look who’s got the last laugh now! (launches a white missile from a bazooka)
Cortex: CRASH – LOOK OUT!!! (dives for Crash)
The missile came closer and closer… it struck a target… Crash was forced out of the way! But he started gasping – he saw Cortex frozen solid!
***************************************************
Crash: I knew I saw it before – It’s Tiko’s ice gun!
Polar: Where did you get it from?
Coco: Before leaving the boat, Boron gave it to me. He said that when he re-hatched, he took it from him and headed off towards us.
Crash: That could be useful in this heat! Go ahead and show it off!
Coco: But don’t forget, I may need you guys’ help…
Pinstripe: Get in there! (pushes Coco towards Deksta)
(Music stops)
Deksta saw Coco as she was pushed in, and immediately drew out a flamethrower, twice as powerful as Dingodile’s!
Coco: (looking unconfident) Er… look what I have! (draws out the ice-gun)
Deksta: Hey, wait – that’s Tiko’s weapon, not yours, you rat!
Coco: I’m not a rat, I’m a bandic…
Deksta: Who cares about what you are, as long as you don’t go anywhere near my lunch! (dispenses the flamethrower onto the fire, making the fire even more powerful)
Coco breathed quickly, with worries and sweat coming down her face…
Deksta: I bet you can’t go back there now!
Coco: Oh yeah, we’ll see about that!
Coco blasted a missile towards Deksta… and was struck!
Coco: Ha, yes! Got her!
But the gas evaporated… and Deksta remained, clean as a whistle!
Coco: Huh?!? But I thought I got you?
Deksta: You have to try better than that, pipsqueak!
**************************************************
Episode 23 – The Rise and Fall of the Firechild
Scene: A few miles from Talca, Chile
Music: Jamiroquai – “Deeper Underground” (Instrumental)
Coco and Deksta were seen face to face with each other…
Deksta: Hey, if that pathetic missile was the best you can do, you’d best run along and go home.
Coco: Look – never underestimate your challengers, weakling.
Deksta: Weakling?!? Grrrr… Show me your next best shot!
(Music changes – DJ Rolando – “Jaguar”)
Coco looked around her swiftly, and saw a viper swirling around her feet. Deksta also saw it…
Deksta: (thinks) I sure hope that slimy yucky thing stays away from me…
Coco picked the viper up, locked it in the ice gun and shot once more. And for the second time in a row, the shot struck her…
Coco: Tee-hee! Let’s see you get out of THIS one!
The smoke cleared up… and Deksta still survived, with the snake on top of her head!
Deksta: Ewwww! (throws the snake)
The viper struck Coco… and it bit her!
Coco: Oh no… (faintly) Déjà vu! (collapses)
Deksta: (laughs vilely) Look who’s got the last laugh now!
FROM BEHIND THE TREES
Crash: This doesn’t look too good…
Polar: Yeah! Do you have any ideas on how to defeat her?
Pura: Well, we did hear what Coco said. Maybe…
Pinstripe: Yeah, I know what you’re thinking…
Crash: She’s mine! (rushes out)
Deksta: (stares at Crash) Oh, so it’s the pipsqueak’s big brother, eh?
Crash: How can you tell?
Deksta: There’s something in common about you two – you both suck.
Crash: Oh yeah?
Deksta: Yeah, hit me with your best shot!
Crash got out from his backpack, a collection of wumpa fruit and tossed them at Deksta. Screaming with agony, she was stuck to the ground…
Deksta: (muffled) Hey, what’s in this stuff – PVA glue?
Then Crash drew out his bazooka and fired her to the sky.
(Music stops)
Deksta: (screams) I hope Tiko doesn’t know about this…
She then crashed into the bottom of an airship and was helped inside immediately by a mystery guest…
Guest: You disturbed me, eh? (steps out of the darkness, turning out to be Tiko)
Deksta: (thinks) Oh, damn… he’s in one of his moods again!
Tiko: Well?
Deksta: (looking unconfident) The rat came along, and has found the final hostage!
Tiko: What?!? Deksta, you complete imbecile! (growls angrily)
Deksta: I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?
Tiko: Not yet, but I have a plan for when they return home… (picks up the phone)
BACK ON EARTH
Coco: There she goes!
Crash: Yeah, but what about the snake?
Coco: It wasn’t poisonous, so the effect wore off.
Pura: Phew!
Polar: Now it’s just a case of trying to free Koala Kong from the fire…
*******************************************************
Episode 24 – The Right for Tommy
Scene: A few miles from Talca, Chile
Music: Theme from “Mission: Impossible”
Crash and the others saw Koala Kong in the fire and wanted a plan to free him…
Crash: How about we fire a weapon to bring the fire down?
Coco: No chance – Missiles are useless in fires and your fruit could get burnt easily.
Pinstripe: Hey, I’ve another idea! How about we send in a volunteer?
Polar: Good idea, but how will we decide who will go in?
Pura: Polar, you dimwit – an easy way to decide is to draw straws!
Pura picks 5 straws from the ground.
Pura: Whoever gets the longest will go in.
Everyone takes a straw, and Pinstripe got the longest.
Pura: Hey, Pinstripe – you’re going in!
Pinstripe: (cracks his knuckles) Stand back, mates – I’m to go where no other potoroo has gone before!
(Music stops)
Pinstripe went into the fires to free Koala Kong. 5 minutes later, he came out looking torched…
Pinstripe: Here he is… (puts Kong on the ground and faints)
Kong: Thanks mate! I can’t have survived without you! (pauses) Uh-oh… there’s something wrong about Pinstripe.
Polar: How can you tell?
Kong: His suit is burnt and he’s glowing an angry red.
Crash: Oh, man… We HAVE to take him back!
[Music changes – K-Ci and Jo-Jo – “Tell Me It’s Real” (Instrumental)]
Kong grabbed Pinstripe and put him in the piggy-back position.
Crash: Okay, let’s move!
The gang rushed towards the boat as fast as they could…
10 MINUTES LATER, AT THE BOAT
[Music changes again – Spiller – “Groovejet (If This Ain’t Love)” (Instrumental)]
The rest of the gang were seen lacking about as usual…
Rilla: Doc, I’m still confused. Before Boron became an egg, he was evil. After the re-hatch, he came to our side. I don’t understand why!
Cortex: Neither do I, but I suspect that it would be something to do with a new life.
Rilla: I suppose that’s fair.
[Music changes – K-Ci and Jo-Jo – “Tell Me It’s Real” (Instrumental)]
Crash and the others came running in.
Crash: (panting) Guys, we need help. Pinstripe’s been torched!
Kong: It’s true! Here he is! (drops Pinstripe)
Most of the gang: Oooooooooooooooooh!
Cortex: I guess he needs sorting out. Kong, you don’t mind helping out, won’t you?
Kong: It’ll be my pleasure.
5 MINUTES LATER, AT THE OPERATING THEATRE
[Music changes – Lene Marlin – “Unforgivable Sinner” (Instrumental)]
N. Gin: Having judged his statistics, he may not fight for a few days.
Dingodile: Are you sure? The burn can’t be THAT severe!
N. Gin: It just is. Sorry.
(Music stops)
Kong: (rushes towards Pinstripe) I hope you’ll be okay…
Pinstripe: (faintly) I doubt it. So I want you to have Tommy. (gave his tommy gun to Kong)
Kong: But I don’t understand… Do you mean that the tommy gun is MINE?!?
Pinstripe: If I die, yes. If not, you can have it until Tiko and his gang are gonners. (runs into a coma)
Kong: Good luck, mate… (turns around and sings) There's a bullet in the gun...
Coco: Okay, let’s head back home and show that thug what we’re really made of!
Rest of the gang: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[Music restarts – Architects – “Body Groove” (Outro)]
And so the boat steers back over the Pacific Ocean, back home…
TO BE CONINUED
***********************
OUT-TAKES OF THE SAGA
Pura: (rushes towards Cortex) Grrrr... Put that thing down… (crashes into the camera) Ouch!
********************************
Cortex: Okay, here comes Mr. Muscle… (fires his gun, but it explodes in his face) Okay… (looked at the nozzle) Who plugged up the nozzle with ice?
Polar: Sorry – I like doing these pranks! (laughs)
Cortex: (sighs) One more prank out of you and we’ll see how you can swim in shark-infested water!
*********************************
Cortex: (panics) What was that?
Pura: I dunno…
The footsteps continued longer than usual…
Polar: Hang on… (went backstage) The gramophone needs dusting!
*******************************
Cortex: (worried) Look – whoever you are – have mercy…
(A banging came from backstage)
Cortex: Hey, hold the work back – we’re trying to film here!
Boron: (sighs) ROAAAAAAAAAAAAR! (Is it ruining your concentration or what?)
********************************
Crash: We need a good team to achieve that. This includes you, doc!
Cortex: I dunno…
Suddenly a cannonball was shot through the window… and slammed into the camera!
Cortex: D’OH! Is the camera busted?
N. Gin: Just a broken monitor and that’s it.
*****************************
Polar: Looks like she’s frying him with an old torch or something.
Pura: Yeah. I can tell from since the Battle Party that he… can we cut?
Polar: Why?
Pura: Because my tail’s stuck in yours!
Polar: Huh? (looks at his tail, then screams) A knot!
*********************************
Coco: Oh no… (screams) Venom! I’ve got venom in my eyes! Take me for a dry-clean!
N. Gin: (from backstage) I’ll try!
******************************
Pinstripe: (cracks his knuckles) Stand back, mates – I’m to go where no other potoroo has gone before… hang on, can we cut?
Pura: What now?
Pinstripe: It’s just that I didn’t set the mood up properly… Oh, I know! How about an angry face? Yeah, that’s good! One more for me!
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