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The J-Files: Jerry Springer Part 4
In case you've missed any of the earlier installments: Jerry - Welcome back from our final break! If you've been watching for the past hour, we have been talking about video game mascots who cheat on thier girlfreinds. Our next guest has just starred in her first game ever. Let's bring out Um Jammer Lammy!! (Lammy comes out, audience applauses, she sits down.) Jerry - Now Lammy, tell me whats going on. Lammy - Well Jerry, besides being the star of my own video game, I havebeen having an affiar with Parappa behind Sunny Funny's back! Audience - WOOOO!!! Lammy - She aint nothin compared to me! Me and Parappa have been going out for awhile now, and I think he's gonna dump her on the air tonight! Jerry - Well, let's see, here's Parappa the Rapper!! Parappa - Yea, yea, Parappa's in da mother f@#$'in house!! Jughead - Hey that's my lin- (Parappa busts a cap in Jughead's head. (The one on his shoulders.) Parappa - Aint your line no more! I got a suprise for you too beeotch!! I axed my girl to come down here too!! Jerry - Welcome Sunny Funny accompanied by DJ Berry!! Parappa - DJ! Hold da bitch lamb down!! (DJ grabs Lammy from behind.) Lammy - What the? What's going on?!! Sunny - Shaddap beeotch!!! This be a gang bang!! Parappa - Do you know what we do ta people who don't put me and my friends in our sequel? We buss a cap in thier ass!! Lammy - Noooo!!! (Blam!! Blam!!) (Parappa and sunny shoot her dead.) Parappa - Let's go! We still gotta get those backstabbers Katy Kat and Onion head!! Jerry - Oh my god!! This is horrible!! Maintenence plaese clean this up!! "Ahem" Our next guest is a suprise guest brought to us by Sonic, Mario, and the late Jughead. Please welcome Ms' Pac-Man!! Ms. Pac-Man - Ohh yea Donkey Kong!!! I've been wanting to bite down on that since the early eighties!! D.K. - Get away from me!!! ("CHOMP!!!") Arrrgghhh!! Jerry - Oh my god!! Ms' Pac-Man just bit off Donkey Kong's penis!! Mario - I-a once went on a date-a with her back in-a '83. That's when I found out about her deadly fetish. Luckily I-a escaped, but there were others not-a so lucky. Ms. Pac-Man - I'm gonna dip this baby in liguid nitrogen, then keep it in my dresser drawer for those loney nights when Mr. Pac-Man is away!! Jerry - That's sick!! Sonic - Come back to Papa baby!! Sally - I'm sorry Sonic, with Jughead and D.K. out of the way, I'll gues I'll just have a three way with you and Amy!! Mario - And-a I got-a my Princesses back!! Sonic - Hey, how about you two, Betty and Veronica? Betty and Veronica - Were going with Mario! Wer'e not into that beastiality stuff!! Jerry - Now, here's my final thought. A relationship, between a man and a woman is a precious thing. It should not be marred with lust and jealousy. Furthermore-"Click!" (We see Joey Jo Jo watching the Jerry Springer show on T.V.) JJJ - I'm sick of that show he always tries to show morals through sex and violence, and that's just wrong!! Let's see what else is on. "Click" The Rock - Mankind, I'm gonna have to lay the smack down on you rudy poody fresh and fruity candy ass!! Jerry Lawler - Whoa, Mankind just hit the rock from behind with a chair!! Rock's bleeding all over the place!! But wait!! Her comes Sable, and she's showing her Playboy pics to Mankind and distracting him!! Mankind - Wow!! I'm gonna have to play with my testicular fortitude if I keep seeing more of these pictures!! Jerry Lawler - Here comes the Rock from behind!! He smacks Mankind in the back of his head with the chair!! It knocks Mankind's haed off his shoulders!! His bloody head is rolling around the mat!! How much can Mankind take!! JJJ - Ahh, much better!! This show has no morals at all!!! -Joey Jo Jo |
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