*Disclaimer (sort of): Even though this section is new, it contains comments on things that were at one point in time controversial. My excuse is this: I have been wanting to do this for a while, but only recently have I decided to get off my lazy posterior and do it. Beware, if you're annal and don't have a sense of humor, you might be offended, agitated, and so on. Dragonmaster Kato wil not be held responsible for you getting your knickers in a knot.*
Top Ten Secret Items Hidden in the Phantom Inventory (WD doesn't want you to know about them)
10. 5 million putrid lunches
9. Reeny from Sailor Moon (Lita Lettermoon, this is where she came from)
8. Every single missing left sock
7. The remains of Leonardo Di'Caprio's career
6. The Arc of the Covenant
5. Atlantis
4. The plot from Saga Frontier
3. A case of Jolt Cola
2. Jimmy Hoffa's body
1. Vic Ireland's soul
Top Ten Jobs Laike Tried Before Settling on Adventurer
10. Lumberjack
9. Waiter at TGI Friday's
8. The guy in the Barney suit
7. Commander Riker from Star Trek impersonator
6. Tuxedo Mask
5. Bass guitarist for ZZ Top
4. The guy who walks behind the horses in parades sweeping the poop
3. New York taxi driver
2. Extra in Braveheart
1. Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksman
Top Ten Reasons Why WD Is So Successful
10. More people bought Sega CDs than you think
9. They own the word "lunar", so NASA has to pay royalties
8. The jokes in Lunar
7. Just plain Lunar
6. Near-sighted people who thought they were buying FFVII
5. Their friendly staff.
4. Their bug-free software
3. I don't know
2. No reason. It just happened.
1. Vic Ireland made a pact with the devil.
Top Ten Ways to Find the Dark Scimitar
10. Next time you play FFVIII, check all over the Gardens. (Vic said it was in regular game play, but he never said what game.)
9. It's up Borgan's @$$. Just wait until you see the animation for it.
8. When you play TSS, have Kyle drop his sword in Ramus' shop. Then, begin a new EB game. Kyle's sword will be there as the Dark Scimitar. (Someone seriously suggested this as a method. Check the DS homepage.)
7. At the title screen for EB press up, down, A, and left. Now take out EB and put in Mortal Kombat (don't shut off the Sega). Set it on two players, and play by yourself. Once you have defeated everyone using Lu Kang, Take out Mortal Kombat and put in Spyro the Dragon and Medal of Honor (at the same time). Now, shut off the Sega, TV, lights, and any other electronics in your room. Pull down your pants and undershorts, jump around like a frog, and say "moo" a lot. Congratulations, you found the DS.
6. Look for hidden Dark Scimitar references in Disney movies. Use those clues to find the DS.
5. Lemina stole it from the game. Yuffie stole it from Lemina and traded it with Alis for some Materia. You ain't getting it.
4. It the free prize in boxes of Cheerios made between 1984 and 1992.
3. It's hanging up in Vic's office. You have to break in and steal it.
2. Use the Lemina bug genius!!
1. In Final Fantasy VII, on the title screen, you have to hit up, down, left, right, up, down, left, right, start. Then you will get the message "Nice goin', spikey head!". Now, you have to start a new game and play through the entire game without saving or having Cloud gain any levels (Cloud will have to be dead all the time so he doesn't get EXP). Also, when Nall asks you what kind of dressing you want on your salad, you MUST say French dressing! Any other answer will result in Yuffie and Jean saying "Wonder Twin Powers, Activate!", which will cause Cloud to level up. When you get to Sephiroth, you must defeat him with a party of Cloud, Aeris, and Lord Leo and have Cloud alive at the end of the fight or it won't work. Cloud will try to use Omni-Slash, but upon realizing that he's on level 7, will say "Omni-Slash?! Are you nuts?!". Sephiroth will be humiliated at Cloud's failure to kill him and will hand him a sword, the "Dark Scimitar", with which Cloud can kill Sephiroth with one hit.
Then in the ending movie, everyone goes back to Grandpa Gwyn's house in Midgar and eats some salad (with French dressing, of course). Cloud gives himself a haircut with the Dark Scimitar as the screen fades to black
*Special thanks to JWL for contributing #1.*
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