Buffy Board Quotes
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This whole section was thought of by Eva, who started me off by gathering memorable or funny quotes from our board members. Some stuff came off our sigs, and some of the stuff was even collected from Joss interviews that ended up in bits and pieces on the board, and now we have the mailing list to add onto there. Enjoy.
"Buffy Loves Angel. And he loves her. And I love Ho hos." -Joss Whedon
"Hm, the cousin Jordy's a werewolf? His parents don't notice that there's a little kid running around all hairy and ick and eating people... I have such a problem with that." -Natalie
"And in a future episode, Giles becomes Shih Tzu." -Scott, in response to Oz and Xander turning into beasts
(we make each other happy)
"I am very happy that we make you happy and if we make you happy then I am happy too. Sorry if that made no sense and I'm sorry if I repeated myself! Well Bye!" -Kelly
"Is there going to be enough seats on the bus or are we going to have to charter another one?" -Fluf, in response to the amount of people in a room for the AOL Aly chat
"Buffy is a show by losers, for losers. Be PROUD. Losers rule." -Joss
"See what happens when you think too hard, it gets you in trouble. Lighten up. Stop thinking (like the rest of us). Have some chocolate and relax. Let the chocolate melt in your mouth. Let the chocolate take over. Trust me, its painless." -Fluf, discussing the effects of chocolate
"One huge difference. Oz breathes." -Nick, on the difference between Oz and the evil Angelus
"Hey...I can almost belch the alphabet....does that count for anything??" -Hap, in response to a member's list of modest achievements
"I'm kind of speechless (enjoy the moment its very rare)." -Fluf
"Insanity runs in your family. Lucky. It positively gallops in mine." -Scott
"But I don't even qualify enough to get the QVC Shop For Lives at Home Catalog." -Nick
"I just had another thought! That's great, cause now the other solo thought in my head won't be lonely." -Andy
"It seems to me that a lot of big shots find God when they go to jail. My question is: What did they nail Him on?" -Scott
"Oh well, just another point off my accuracy rating. It's probably hovering just above zero right now..." -Nick
"Joss is a genius who eschews the predictable, and frustrates the hell out of those lucky enough to write for him with his constant insistence that we "come up with something even better."" -Ty King, Buffy writer who visited our board!
"Warning. Dingoes ate my thoughts and ideas for this post, so..." -Eva
"Come on, brain! Pump out that evil!!" -Scott
sarah: "Sleep is for the weak."
Hap: "Sleep is for those without caffeine!"
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Hap. There's no room for mine when yours is down there." -Scott
"I have two words for you two jokesters. Seek help!" -Jessica
"Here, here. Or is it Hear, hear. Or maybe Hear here. You get the idea." -Aly
"This pacing is getting me nowhere." -Nick
"Nick, this is all your fault. Then it's Hap's fault next. Then Scott." -Karyn
"Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, And so am I." -Jill
"Please someone make it stop. After hearing it a million times in a week, maybe the heart will go on but the brain will turn to jelly." -Mike, on that damb Celine Dion song
"As you can tell I have no idea about computers, except that I like it when mine works." -sarah
"No pun intended. At least not yet." -Karyn
"Just ignore that repeated thud you hear." -Scott
"You know, I've always suspected you of being a sadist." -Kerrid
"I made sense. Wow, it's been a while." -Heather
"Sometimes when you try to make lemonade out of the lemons like has given you, the only thing you accomplish is getting lemon juice in those cuts on your fingers." -sarah
"Since I notice that both the Red Sox and Cubs are in contention for the playoffs this year (despite a recent brief swoon by the Cubs) and because I live in a bemused world of unreality, I got to think it would be cool if they both ended up in the World Series." -Mike, and this is how the whole I Believe thing started, btw
"Ha! Sticks and stones may break our bones, but whips and chains.....er, never mind. I'll be quiet now." -Dragon
"You know if you do a spell check on stal you do get some interesting options. Stab is one. Feeling homicidal? How about steal? Then of course there is Stan and I'm sure that makes perfect sense....to someone." -Alia, in response to a troll post riddled with typos
"You can be sure, if its in the chocolate family, it will be in the fridge." -Fluf
"I keep walking into these posts. And now I have a bump on my head." -Sandy
"Sanity? Us? Nah!" -Ashli
"My life finally arrived! Natalie, could you please return my shoes?" -Heather
"::evil grin:: can i take a look at that grocery list?" -sarah, living up to her reputation as one not to discuss food with
"Can we all share, or do we need name labels on all our food?" -Eva, discussing the possibility of having one fridge
"I have HUGE feet, and my mom always tells me I could peel bananas with my toes!!!" -Ali
"Ok we'll go to Angel's but let's take our own food ok?" -Lori, replying to whether it would be fine to go to Angel's Apartment and use his utilities
"And when did we all get so wacky?" -Stacy
"I suppose that crack was directed at me...geez you make one mistake, decapitate one Barbie, and it follows you forever!" -Lori
"Hey lets just make sure no one pees in the pool ok?" -Sandy, on Hannihouse Rules
"Come get your hepatitis shot. Now in three easy installments of PAIN!!!!" -Sara
"Don't do anything I.... Nicky wouldn't do. You'll have a ball." -Zeing, on Nick's trip to Europe
"One: if you hear any news about toads raining from the sky, river water turning to blood, the head ayatollah of Iran converting to Judaism, Hell freezing over, Marilyn Manson becoming a Mormon, that sort of thing, just thought I'd let you know that I'm probably the cause of it." -Scott
"Where are all of these single women? Seems like every female I know or have met recently is hooked up with some knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing, slope-headed Neanderthal whose sole purpose in life is to roam the earth searching for the secret to fire. Hey! Bang the rocks together Alley Oop! It's enough to make you want to chew your own foot off." -Den
"I shall call him Mini-Cruise." -Nick, on Scott Wolf
"Good things come to those who wait. Or drink heavily." -Mike
"If we were all standing on Karyn's side of the canoe, it would have tipped over." -Danielle, after someone called Karyn a liar
"Sweet Hannigan." -Karyn
Scott: "trivia question: when was the first time the sound barrier was broken?"
Karyn: "Before the second time."
"Wow, look at that. My switch was turned to sarcasm." -Natalie
"Okay, sister being a bitca," -Eva, signing off of the mailing list
"So someone called me a slut? I resemble that remark!! Resent! Resent that remark! Damn I blew that one!" -Nichole
Welcome to the fish jokes, ladies and gentlemen.
Nick: "And, just for the halibut (joke's still not dead)"
Mike: "It may not be dead, but it is terminal and you're refusing to let it go with dignity. Just pull the plug already. It's becoming a pain in the bass."
Andy: "Will you people please stop carping on this?"
Nick: "Come on, this thread is floundering near unbearable."
Mike: "Pretty soon I'm just gonna tuna it out, because going on just serves no porpoise."
Alex: "It's not only for fun, it's an education."
Erin: "LoL!!!!!!!Its a multi purpose board."
"I don't see how you can not be amused by all this evilness? Or, does that just show more evilness ouch, no more thinking" -Kat
Scott: "Be seeing you."
Shab: "Scott, come back here!! Give me the answer before I lose my mind!!!
::sig laying out Scotttraps::"
"I didnt say anything on the BTVS board but I will now .. WHY ARE YOU REMINDING ME?!" -Mel on Hap's back to school well-wishes
"Everyone had different takes on
their sections role in the band or on the field, except the flutes (who
were always drowned out). All the flutes had shirts showing a floutist
blowing till her face was red and underneath the caption, "We ARE Playing,
Damnit!" -Randy, talking about his experience in band.
"I'll have a mudslide followed by two fuzzy navels, followed by an aspirin" -Melissa, ordering from Ashli's Bar and Grill
"but... weren't we still undecided on the question of whether or not vamps go to the bathroom? and... hmm, this is even more disgusting, but, do they vomit? because, why would they? bad blood?" -Kat
Melissa: "we all sound like alcoholics!"
Hap: ::: Passing out AA literature :::
"Hey, I'll have a margarita (any flavor's fine!!) with salt on the rim, you know what I'm saying? And after that, I'll have a mudslide, cuz that sounds deeeelish! After that vodka w/ cranberry, and then a cold shower and a lot of coffee. Thanks!!" -Devon
"My room: I gave Bob plans for my room on this house (yes, "on"). I will reside in a 3-story "perch" (for lack of a better term that is easy to think of at quarter to 1 in the morning). It will rest on 4 extremely strong support beams attatched to the roof. First floor is my office (It's not oval- it's hexagonal). Second is my living quarters. Third is the guest floor where Alyson can stay whenever she's in the neighborhood. Best part is that any
additions have to be built under my perch. The joys of being President. " -Nick
"Nick, if your perch kills us, I'm coming back to haunt you!!!! And if I even suspect those beams are gonna fail I'm moving! You better make sure Tim "the toolman" Taylor does NOT help on this project...get Al. You better know what you're doing Mr.President. (Why couldn't he just have his own little house built outside?? No, it has to be on the house!!" -Nichole
"Nick, where are you? That's just like a man, leave me all alone with the kids." -Karyn
"Also, let's not forget about the key to Frog Sity. Did someone remember to pick it up before we left the old house. I don't want us to lose it. that would suck. Then the frogs would get loose, Willow'd get scared, and then she wouldn't want to play with us anymore. Can't have that. " -Steph
"Did this house come with a butler, cuz we're gonna need one." -Nichole
"about the bowling alleys, I need one of those lanes with the big blue bumpers in the gutters, cause that's the only way I can hit pins down. maybe if I actually walked down the lane..." -Kat
"This seems like a really good neighborhood, but before I get comfy, I need to know where the nearest Starbucks is and if anyone will be my buddy and help me break into Starbucks when I need a late night shot of coffee." -Elizabeth
"Thanks for sharing the attic. Mabey I'll build a new bathroom.
Can I be in charge of the pool? I am such a lifeguard.
As for Bowling my high score is 84. Yeah!!!! I rock." -Sara
"Its strange but I feel like that after seeing this, that we moved into a new house. Just down the street from our old one. And I claim the big bedroom on the fith floor." -Dusty
Kat: "I get the attic room!!! I can furnish this place to be perfect! The only thing is... no bathroom. anyone else feel like sharing? "
Dusty: "Sure I'll share. Mine has two sinks and everything...just like the Brady Bunch house. But unfortunately just like the Brady house..it has not toilet."
"I'm used to living in style. And that's my idea of style. " -Victoria
"Okay, but I get dibs on the basement. I need space to put all of my VP stuff. You know, member files, chicken pot pies, fax machine, video monitering system equipment, assorted Spice apparel and paraphenelia, color copier, and the PVA 10x (AKA The Ultra Mop 2000) to take care of all of my household needs. " -Karyn
Dusty: "(It also goes to a Zoo in mexico....I dont know why.)"
Karyn: So THAT's where the monkeys came from. They were speaking French and I didn't understand..."
"Oh, and look! There's a clear view of Angel's apartment right there!!!! Now if only he would open those windows... " -Natalie
"Um, Scott, Alex, Jen, be sure to check my legal library before cooking up any "evil" plots so I know exactly what is going on, so that I may properly defend you. K??" -Ashli
"By the way, you don't think anyone, (in hmmm, leather?) would get hurt climbing up to my window, do you? nahhh " -Kat
"Okay, I haven't commented on my room yet, so let me just say I have no problem with an evil floor. I just want a nice suite of rooms (bedroom, study/library, music room, private bathroom) done in a sort of Victorian/Gothic styling reminiscent of the late 19th century.
SCPandich
(anybody know where to get a Macintosh computer with an oak case?)"
"What would suck is if your life's goal was to find the world's only albino polar bear." -Nick
"Well, I might as well continue the trend. Hello, Everyone. Unfortunately,
I'm fairly new to the Hanniganite Family and I don't really know anyone
(you should probalby consider that a blessing =) ), but thought I'd say
hello anyway." -Randy, saying hi on the list
"I did the same thing, but in high school .... Ah, but you being-back some
fond memories....
Water fights during band camp ["hell weeks"], pantsing the seniors on the
last day, about 80 pages of drill, 5 songs (12 minutes of show), plus pep
band (staduim/game) music....
Ugh.
Can I be 17 again? Please?" -Domino Rose
"Unfortunatly,no sex ed in band either..,, well lots of talk, but not hands
on...:P,, maybe unloading fruit,, a grab here and there...
yes, us guys!!! alway grabbing..;P" -Ruben
"Fluf, does the sign at the kitchen say No Shoes, No Shirt, No Soul, No Service?" -Lori
"Some guy I found standing outside the house in very outdated clothing I might add, told me to tell you that he wants his steak, well-sharpened. Is he an aquaintance of yours?" -Eva
Kat: "No, I think it's a private, Hanniganite institution. It's not REALLY an apartment complex, just a biiiiiiiiiiiig house, and a certain "family" is living in it. There is no renting of rooms, or anything of the sort, and the "lock" to the house which people have the key to is generally to the main entrance, not to each room. Just no welcome mats or signs, "Enter all ye who love Aly," ok? just to be on the safe side "
Lori: "Kat, we could hang a No Shoes, No Shirt, No Soul,No Service sign out front!"
Kat: "No, I think it's a private, Hanniganite institution."
Scott: "Kind of like a mental institution, isn't it?"
Nichole: "Mental institution??? I told them I wasn't going back! I said once I'm out you're never bringing me back!!!! I told them, I did!!! They enver listen do they? Noooo, they think just because they have white coats and the keys the the padded rooms that they can do whatever they want. But they can't! THEY CAN'T!!!!!!! ::Snapping out of it:: Why's everyone looking at me? What??? What am I being blamed for now?"
"Why am I thinking of an Elvis song now?
Return to Xender, address unknown," -Nick, responding to the mention of "Xender"
"I know, that was a horrible joke and I shouldn't be forgiven. Natalie even told me so.
So I have another Elvis song: "Love Me Xender". Thank Natalie for that one.
Apparently back in both mind and modem," -Nick
"Ox is the name of Oz's.....well, ox. They're the latest trend in pet ownership. " -Steph
"I agree. it's like if my nightmares came true, I'd have average grades and a sucky menial job and no girlfriend and I'd be an immobile, illiterate, no-math knowing bum...oh crap. Billy, please take the bad man's mask off!!" -Adam
"Btw, if polygamy is ever legalized...I'm going to be David's second wife. Just a fair warning. " -Shab
"Due to the approaching Holiday Season, opinions expressed may not be sane" -Quote from Mommy O'Hara's sig
"Uh, HELLO? Susan Lucci and "Edmund" (John Callahan) ARE on the show.....were you sucked into a hellmouth or something?" -Mommy O'Hara
"Did you keep your hair that you cut off? It's kinda morbid, but I did when I cut off mine and I felt safe. Like the angel of my hair was watching over me. Hmmmm...." -Randie
Sandy: "now why would buffy want to have sex with angel....(oh yeah cant think of any reasons , can you?) :0)"
Arianna: "Can't post the thoughts on a public forum, LOL."
"but I still want the evil son thing to happen, and for oz and amy to get together! I mean, both of them got screwed cuz of the hellmouth, in one way or another. oz occassionally has to shave five times a day, and amy was her mom...literally. they belong together!" -Adam
"When I was little I refused to use the computer because it was in the basement where we had this really scary African mask. Kind of like Dead Man's Party but ours isn't evil. (Or so my parents tried to convince me)" -Francesca
Natalie: "So I'm wondering. Does anyone else have these really horrible irrational fears or am I just a freak?"
Mike: "i have this irrational fear of freaks asking me about my irrational fears."
"AOL= Angle Online" -Natalie
"The Dru thread doesn't actually have anything to do with Fru. Well, it did for about a week, then a couple of sick, sick people got a hold of it and turned it into the second longest running thread on any board around here (#2 by two days, although it does hold the greatest number of posts). It has nothing to do with anything and if you go in, chances are you'll never come out alive.
There is your warning... err, explanation." -Nick
Kenz: "Well, i don't know if anyone of you realized this, but today was take your daughter to work day, and i went w/ my dad to work, and he works for a chocolate company. needless to say, i have a tummy ache from all those free samples..."
Fluf: "I realized that it was take your daughter day. Mine is too young to participate. Would we know the name of the chocolate company your father works for? Would he like to adopt me for next year?"
"I am just going to assume that all Hanniganites have souls. Hearts I'm not sure of, but souls are a definite." -Fluf
"well look at it this way scott, you'll either be alive and so old that you can get away with anything.and if you are dead then maybe we visit you're cryogenically frozen body and talk about the grand day when we will be able to thaw you out. am i helping or just babbling?" -sarah
"la la la ::ignore in '98:: So, who here likes chocolate? ;-)" -Lauren
"Some people may (most likely 'may not') remember my weekly posts critiquing (sp?) the BtVS eps which I did on the BtVS message board. I haven't done them in a while because I pretty much ran out of Gold Doubloons (Okay, they didn't really run away, I wasted them all in Vegas)." -Elizabeth
"I think of Joyce as parsley. It's there on the side of your plate but contributes nothing to your meal, then you throw it away" -Lori
"If you're going to jump into the pool from your balcony, I have just two words of advice: don't miss." -Scott
"Hi Jeff! Welcome to the boards, and watch out for miscellaneous falling things (i.e. Crunchberries, construction workers, etc.)" -Devon
"you guys are big on words aren't you??"-"Sara
"19 SDUTDOFATTMOOS!!!
19 Sad Days Until The Daring Ox Feeds Anteaters That Take Mooses Out Of Sex
Ok.. that's got to be the most horrible thing I've ever come up with..." -Ashley
"June 29. And I found out yesterday that I share a birthday with Jennie Garth's daughter. Oh, boy. Break out the little hats." -Devon
"You haven't heard anything until you here my dad yell "Man, I feel like a woman" (If you've never heard Shania's songs you'll think my dad's stranger than he already is)" -Danielle
"I was going to mention that I've brought about the Apocalypse, but this skinny dipping thing sounds a lot more interesting." - Scott
“I tip my tweed to you.” -Fluf
“Real world invades fantasy world once again.” -Kris
"Note to self: do not combust." -Nichole
“Um, Elizabeth? Nicholas Brendon and N Sync? Sharing is caring!” -Eva
sarah: “You aren’t funny.”
Mike: “So I’ve been told.”
sarah: “And you’ll be told again. And again.”
“I’m trying to drive my kids crazy before they do it to me.” -Fluf
"Maybe scissors aren't allowed on the set, Fluf. I've heard that the cast and crew work rather long hours and I'm sure by the time the day is done they're all tired and cranky. Maybe Joss is afraid having scissors around in case anyone should feel postal." -Shab
Natalie: “Can we get a line going to smack Nick?”
Nick: “I’m first in line. And I’m never moving. So there.”
"I fear for your passengers and other drivers." -David
"And what do you mean "ummm she is really a dog"? Have you ever seen her with four feet and a wet nose? Didn't think so." -Eve
“I have a good feeling about this. Then again, I think I’ll have a good feeling about the Apocalypse. Of course, that’ll be before it gets messy.” -Nick
"That doesn't sound like a sentence." -Sara
“Why does everything think I’m some sort of Obi-Wan Kenobi of human disorders?” -Adam
Scott: “I said Willow in overalls.”
Hap: “Why don’t you just put her in a habit?”
"Ok ok, I know you all were really close, and you and I hardly know each other, but dammit I'm trying for a bright side here. Work with me." -sarah
Mike: "Nick seems to have stepped of the edge of sanity into the abyss."
Nick: "I'm knee deep in abyss."
"I always thought them more teddy bears with attitudes, as opposed to care bears with fangs."-Scott on Ewoks
"Ewoks are cute! My puppy looks like an Ewok!" -Koren
Mike: "I'm just stuck on the onramp of life with a flat tire."
Natalie: "That's why you always carry a spare in the trunk."
Jill: "Who's Lauren on the tenth floor with me?”
Eva: “I'm pretty sure it was the Lauren who left the boards (Buffy13901). Or if it's the Frost NW Lauren, then my guessing is wrong."
“That’s obviously deeper than what you had to say.” -Sandy, responding to a troll
"I'm a man of the 90's. I just can't figure out if it's the 1890's or the 1790's." -Scott
“I just had a thought occur within this slacker mind of mine.” -Karyn
Scott: "What was sliced bread the best thing since?"
Mike: "I'm gonna go with unsliced bread on this one."
"Sorry, I'm a little tired, so fragment sentences are about all I can write." -Michelle
“I can’t respect anyone who does not have knowledge of coffee.” -Jess
"Rule #247 in life, don't take too seriously an intelligence estimate from someone who can't spell." -Andy
“They say if Barbie were real, she would be 6 feet tall and her measurements would be 39-23-29. Forget the doll, I want the six foot tall one.” -Adam
“It isb’t my place to judge, except I just did.” -David
"No pun intended. At least not yet." -Karyn
“Thunk! The sound of a clue brick hitting Jen’s head.” -Jen
"Okay, where do we get in line to give you a whack upside the head?"-Scott
“Let’s take a trip back to that place long forgotten called reality.” -Erin
“I’m 6’0” and I have those boots. I have come to greatly dislike ceiling fans.” -Karyn
“Joss is not only the bomb, but he can categorize it, classify it and probably even build it.” -Jess
“Nick, you frighten me to no end.” -Koren
“My translation: Basically Nick is nuts. He’s gone off the deep end. I no longer have any idea what he’s talking about.” -Jess
“Please ignore this post. It was induced by a crack... uh, coffee high... This has been only a test. In the case of an actual emergency you would have received instructions on where to go and what to do.” -Jess
“I think I’ll go retreat back to my straight jacket.” -Rachel
“Dammit, someone’s got to hide the sugar in this house!” -Jess
“With the way we’re going, we’re all gonna speculate ourselves into straight jackets.” -Ashli
“That pun is causing me severe abdominal cramping. I have to to go lay down.” -Scott
“I’ll leave the message board now so I don’t curse you with any more of my meaningless sentences.” -Lindsey
“Jen stands tall (as tall as 5’4” can stand) and waves the flag of Switzerland.” -Jen
“Anyone seen those guys in the white coats? They’re nice, I think I’ll go visit them.” -Nichole
“Xander, is that the whistling of a clue brick I hear?” -Jen
“I shall survive... but I won’t be in very good shape.” -HU3RHEA2
"I feel like I'm a drunk in a school supply closet." -Jess
"After seeing your knew sig I inexplicably find myself singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. And I wish I could stop." -Mike
“Nick, I'll gas up the bandwagon, and if it starts up in this cold weather, I'll be over.” -Scott
“Drusilla gives me nightmares and she needs to stop.” -Lindsey
“But if TV was supposed to make sense, we wouldn't have Jerry Springer, now would we?”-Mike
Ashli: “Shaking my head over here, I hope you find it, now put on your little white jacket.”
Natalie: “No! It doesn't go with my shoes!”
Nick: “I agreed with you 99%. After I post this, it's off to Domain to find quotes for you.”
Erin: “My smile is suddenly gone. What happened to the other 1%?”
“I have one ordered, just hasn't arrived yet. I'll let you know the second it comes.” -John, responding to the allegation that we have no lives
“Uh, clue check, aisle seven! Haven't many of us on the board repeatedly noted that we have no lives? What's next? The revelation that the sky is blue?” -Scott
“My inner child has gotten out.” -Scott
“We all qualify for having lives. Even if they're boring lives.” -Erin
“Zoom with the ESP.” -Jess
Nick: “If I am wrong again, I will mock myself.”
Jessica: “But then so many of us would be without a job or a purpose in life!”
“I'm sorry Jess, I must have been in my mentally handicapped state once again. It happens around the new moon phase but it wears off.” -Lynn
"Anyone with a gun and bullets can shoot me now, please." -Nichole
"Hey, I don't point and laugh at you." -sarah
"I'm entertained by grammar. It must be getting late!" -Katie
