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June 25, 2001 Last night, I called Tony (Starbucks boy) and we talked on the phone for a couple hours. As he was about to get off the phone, he asked me what I wanted to happened between us. I just couldn't blatantly answer the question…I had absolutely know idea what this boy was thinking. So, I kind of turned the question around back at him…and he said that he liked me and in his ideal world, he would like to see a relationship emerge between us. I told him that I kind of wanted the same. With that, we proceeded to get off the phone. It was that feeling when I got off the phone that kind of displeased me. All this time I have been pursuing Tony, and now that I have him within my reach…I am a little unsure about the whole thing. Why does he have to be 16? Why?! Am I just being stupid and tell myself that age doesn't matter? I mean, I know that I like him…and I know that he's a really good guy. I don't have any real hang-ups on his age…but it's just a little weird. I worked a double shift today because I was picking up someone's hours. I started out at GAP, and that went by extremely quickly. Dom came home from Florida today, and she came to the mall to hang out with me. We went around shopping, swapping stories from the past two weeks, smoked a little, had something to eat…and just sat around. It was really good to see her again… She said that she had a wonderful time, and she really didn't want to go back because it was so much fun. I bought some awesome pants from Structure, and then it was almost time for me to start work. I gave Tony a call because I told him that I might after he got off work. I was planning on not calling him, but I just couldn't resist. But, when I called…he wasn't home. Oh well… I worked with Kevin tonight… It was just the two of us up at Kids. He told him stories from the Pride Parade, and I told him mine… Somehow though, my storied paled in comparison. My little friend Kevin got completely inebriated and proceeded to have a threesome with two random boys. He told me the details of his little excursion… It was a bit exciting, a bit dirty, and nothing like Kevin. I was really shocked…in a good way!! Later on, I was telling him about Tony, and although Kevin thinks that Tony is a good guy, he would never start something with him because of his age. More and more I started to think that this whole thing with Tony was a bad idea…but then there was always that one thought that why should age matter. If I truly do like him…then what's stopping me? Why should I deprive myself of a perfect opportunity with a seemingly awesome guy? I need advice and I need it badly. 
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