~ January Diary ~
~ January Diary ~
Thursday, January 1
I woke up without a hangover. That's no surprise. I don't drink.
Friday, January 2
I rest and read email from TBI-Work.
I send a few messages but two of them come back undeliverable. I lose my motivation to write email.
Saturday, January 3
I try to work on my web page. Nothing goes right. I give up.
Sunday, January 4
My son cleans for me. I don't clean much. I take him to a brand new restaurant for lunch.
Monday, January 5
I update my diary. I am excited to work on my web page. I add a new story.
Tuesday, January 6
I get sick and tired of people telling me that everyone forgets things. I was distracted from the computer and left someone hanging in the chat room.
Wednesday, January 7
I was scheduled to meet with the piano teacher today. She canceled.
Thursday, January 8
My thoughts are mixed up. I can't concentrate. I don't focus. I know if I write things down it will help. I don't do it. I don't know why.
Friday, January 9
The doctor changes my meds. I feel angry. I don't like taking drugs.
Saturday, January 10
I have dinner with my family at a restaurant. At first I feel out of place. I feel like I'm the odd one. We talk about computers and web pages and I settle into the conversation.
Sunday, January 11
I find new quotes for my thoughts for the day.
Monday, January 12
I wake up happy.
I have many ideas for my page. I wish I could remember what they were. E-mail is overwhelming.
Tuesday, January 13
Frustration.
I go to the bank. She says the check is not endorsed properly. I grab the slip and check and leave.
Wednesday, January 14
I'm sweating and nervous. I write the checks for four bills. I am exhausted.
Thursday, January 15
I am confused.
I do anything to avoid looking at that pile of bills again. How do I know if I have enough money?
Friday, January 16
A receptionist asks me my occupation.
"Professional patient," I reply.
She laughs.
I don't.
Saturday, January 17
I try email again. I move the unread messages to a folder.
Sunday, January 18
I think, "I can do it." Then I don't.
Monday, January 19
Each day is just like the last. Am I ever going to make progress?
I don't want to let my husband down. He believes I can do it.
Toby gives me an award for my web page.
Tuesday, January 20
Relief!
I finish writing bill checks.
I deposit at the bank. I feel good until the clerk asks me a question I can't answer.
My day feels ruined.
Wednesday, January 21
Depression.
I wake up with dread in the pit of my stomach.
My husband tells me it will be okay. He gives me a card. I cry.
Thursday, January 22
Exhausted and sick.
Again.
Friday, January 23
I went to the doctor.
He insisted that I take an antidepressant before I left his office.
Saturday, January 24
I can't believe how much my mood has improved from just a few pills.
Sunday, January 25
I'm sick and weak. I get up and take a shower. I go back to bed.
Monday, January 26
I'm not getting any better. The doctor prescribes antibiotics.
Tuesday, January 27
I am breathing easier.
Wednesday, January 28,
Tests show I have a stubborn infection. 12 days on the antibiotics. Ugh!
Thursday, January 29,
My mood is good, but my body is still racked with illness.
Friday, January 30,
Stomach cramps and other details too gory to mention.
Saturday, January 31
It's been over a week since I worked on my web page. Too weak.
. . . to be continued.
February ~
March ~
April ~
May ~
June
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