Mr. Baggio: I'm in a rage, I tell ya! In an utter rage!

Miss Fuzzell: Heavens! What is your problem, Baggio!? I can practically see smoke coming out of your ears!

Baggio: I don't have ears!

Fuzzell: Well, yes, you do got me there.

Baggio: Normally your stupidity would enrage me, but I'm already consumed in the fiery pits of hatred for that...that woman!

Fuzzell: What woman?

Baggio: Da Boss!

Fuzzell: Sigh. Must we talk about that creature again?

Baggio: I don't want to talk! I want to YELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuzzell: Please don't waste the exclamation points, Baggio. We're getting audited next week.

Baggio: You won't believe what I went thru today so I won't talk about that, but the woman I work for is a total bitch!

Fuzzell: Hold on there, pardner! You know I don't like you throwing that term around loosely! I am proud to be a bitch and I don't appreciate you using my status as an insult for some female human!

Baggio: When did you start to get so sensitive?

Fuzzell: It started years ago when I was entering the awkward years of adolescence as I was visited by a gentleman caller. Papa did so disapprove, but I...

Baggio: Da Boss has the face of a scrotum.

Fuzzell: Yes, I can see that.

Baggio: Da Boss's neck is so ropey there's a tire swing attached to it.

Fuzzell: The gentleman caller claimed to be a swinger. Of course, that's when he started to date Papa.

Baggio: Da Boss has a granddaughter that looks like E.T. in drag.

Fuzzell: I was forced to attend their wedding, but I refused to give Papa away.

Baggio: Her granddaughter's eyes are so far apart she's practically a fish.

Fuzzell: As fate would have it, I caught the bouquet.

Baggio: Here's the ironical thing about Da Boss: She hasn't got any in decades, but she screws everyone that works under her.

Fuzzell: Okay, I lied. I didn't actually catch the bouquet. I had to wrestle several gay men for it.

Baggio: And Da Boss doesn't even supply the Vaseline!

Fuzzell: Let me tell you, some of those sissy men are tough!

Baggio: Hey, are you even paying attention to me?!?

Fuzzell: Oh my goodness! I never pay attention to you, Baggio.

Baggio: BITCH!!!

Fuzzell: And proud of it!

Baggio: That does it! I am leaving this stinkhole and I'm going to drink myself blind! 

Fuzzell: You do realize the eyes you have are just drawings so technically you're already blind.

Baggio: BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuzzell: Thanks for coming in!

Miss Fuzzell may be a bitch, but she never gave money to a druggie!

copyright © 2003 Teatime for Irma Productions