Mr. Baggio: Let's get this puppy started! I got a date with an angel!

Miss Fuzzell: Baggio, are you drunk again?

Baggio: I'm sober like a pan of fudge! Here check my breath!

Fuzzell: I'm not smelling your breath, Baggio!

Baggio: Oh, I see! You won't smell my breath, but you will gladly smell my butt!

Fuzzell: You don't have a butt!

Baggio: I'm working on it, baby, I'm working on it!

Fuzzell: You can be so crass sometimes.

Baggio: Oh, honey, let's not fight. Let's get to the matter at hand.

Fuzzell: I have a question you may be able to answer.

Baggio: Fire when ready, tootsie pop!

Fuzzell: Are Chris Kattan and Jimmy Fallon the same person? Frankly, I can't tell the two apart. Can you?

Baggio: I can never cross my eyes when I puke. It just doesn't happen anymore.

Fuzzell: Baggio, you have many problems and they all involve your parents.

Baggio: Hey, don't you talk about my momma! Daddy, fine, but my momma is off the table and in the gutter swimming with the fishies!

Fuzzell: Water walnuts. Water walnuts. Water walnuts. Water walnuts.

Baggio: Must you keep saying that?

Fuzzell: It's my mantra.

Baggio: Oh, I gave those up. They took too much space in my nose. Squeezed all the boogers out. You remember that, right?

Fuzzell: I'm still getting the phlegm out of my fur!

Baggio: Oh, yes. The petting days. Sweet, sweet petting days.

Fuzzell: Then you got neutered.

Baggio: I can still feel the snipping.

Fuzzell: Everywhere I turn a rerun of Saturday Night Live pops up! Every cable channel is showing them nowadays! How can we make them stop?

Baggio: There has to be a revolution first.

Fuzzell: Hush! They will hear you!

Baggio: You worry too much, pet.

Fuzzell: Water walnuts. Water walnuts. Water walnuts.

Baggio: I still have them, but they no longer work.

Mr.Baggio is currently working on his third kidney.

Copyright© 2003 Teatime for Irma Productions