[page 1] [page 2] [page 3] [page 4]   Seth: [about Summer] Do I force confrontation or do I just continue to be whiny passive aggresive until she realizes what a catch I am?   Marissa: With, like, strippers and prostitutes and showgirls? Ryan: Yeah. I mean, I hope so.   Seth: She'll watch over you with her Care Bear Stare. Ryan: How do you know about the Care Bear Stare?   Summer: I have been crying actual tears over that ass and he's kissing randoms!   Kirsten to Theresa: I have some concealer upstairs you can use. Works miracles. Sandy: She's right. You should see her without it. Horrible.   Sandy: [to Caleb] So, Cay-Cay, what have you been doing all this time?   Seth: [to Summer] Hey. You're avoiding me. I like that. It's a throwback. Very eighth grade.   Caleb: Believe it or not, I've got a past too. Not involving monster trucks, per se.   Luke: [to Ryan,jokingly] Welcome to Portland, bitch.   Theresa: I can't impose on Seth's parents forever. Seth: Sure you can. I intend to.   Kirsten: There are four male strippers, dressed as firemen dancing in our living room. Sandy: Theme-stripping. You gotta love that. Kirsten: Oh, wait, now they're not dressed as anything at all. Sandy: Try to keep them off of the furniture, honey.   Summer: Get away from him, whore! Seth: Wait wait wait! She's not a whore. She goes to UNLV. Summer: Oh, okay. Get away from him, skank.   Summer You're such a dandy, Cohen. Seth: [offended] You're a dandy, woman!   Kirsten: Is everything okay? Ryan: Yeah, it's fine. Theresa: I'm pregnant. Seth: Well, except for that.   Seth:[to Ryan] Summer's right over there, look. Wait, don't look. I mean you can look, but don't look like you're looking.   Seth: Yeah, that's the mantra every year, and every year some big water polo player ends up peeing in one of my shoes... Nah, I'm just kidding. He pees in both of them.   Summer: Still hasn't called you back? He was in lockup. Maybe he's into dudes now.   Seth: United, we're unstoppable, but divided, it's like— Ryan: People get shot. Seth: That's what I'm saying.   Gabrielle: [talking about Marissa and Luke] Fifth grade? Okay, she needs to change that. She's known that guy since he's been eating paste. Seth: I think he still does.   Sandy: There's no need for sarcasm. Seth: I'm not being sarcastic. Sandy: Well, it's hard to tell sometimes.   Sandy: If you can't tell your dad, who can you talk to? Seth: Gee, I don't know. Ryan, Mom, that tree over there. Sandy: You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. Seth: When are you leaving?   Sandy: [talking about their Range Rover which was vandalised] So this happened in the parking lot of the IMAX movie theater? Seth: Shark movies bring out a rough crowd.   Summer: Come on. Get off the bed! Seth: Nope. Summer: Be, like, a gentleman? Seth: Chivalry's dead, sugar. [Summer reluctantly gets onto the bed] Summer: You make a move, I rip out your jugular. Seth: Hey, pillow talk.   Seth: It turns out that I'm quite skilled at getting a date if it's not for me   Julie: He basically called me white trash! He said I was from Riverside! Jimmy: Honey. You are from Riverside. Julie: It was his tone!   Summer: I am positive that I'm leaving this place with a rash. Seth: Oh, so you're planning on making some extra money tonight?   Seth: You guys really wouldn't hurt me. Because that would be so clichéd. [the water polo guys pick him up and start bashing him]. Oh, I guess you're fans of the cliché.   Summer: Sailing is so not like the fastest way to get anywhere.   Anna: So, this is your crib? This is where all the magic happens? Seth: Well, if by magic, you're referring to the card game, then, sadly, yes.   Seth: He has no idea that every day of third grade, you shared your lunch with that little skinny squirrel who kept getting his nuts stolen by that fat squirrel. Summer: I hated that mean squirrel.   Seth: Ryan, that's extremely minty of you. I didn't even know they had musicals in Chino. I didn't even know they had dancing. Or... laughter.   Seth: What? It’s Anna. I could have said pop a squat if I wanted to. Ryan: Sometimes I think you talk just to make sounds. Seth: Well sometimes I do.   Luke: What are you looking at, you queer? Seth: [mumbling quietly] Yeah, well at least I don't shave my chest. Luke: What did you just say? Seth: I said you look good in a sweater vest. It was a compliment.   Ryan: Drinking, crying, cops. Well then it must be Christmas.   Seth: Wow. You just got your butt kicked and you didn't even fight back. Dude, you really are a Cohen.   Luke: What are you looking at, Queer? Seth: Is somebody gonna get new material? [Luke moves towards Seth] Alright. Go with what works.   Ryan: It's kind of a shady area up there. It's a hardcore neighborhood. Seth: Dude, it's Long Beach, not Chechnya.   Seth: You remember the meatloaf incident of '98? Kirsten: That was brisket. Seth: Yeah, that's my point exactly.   Seth: How was the mall? Ryan: Weird. Seth: Ah, yes. You've really painted a picture for me.   Ryan: You didn't tell me there was dancing. Seth: Well if I told you there was dancing, I'd be here by myself right now. Ryan: Because I don't really dance. Seth: Neither do I. I just move well.   Seth: I'm gonna go make magic happen. I feel like my hair is really working for me tonight.