April 1942

Nothing much today. I gave a grenade demonstration this morning and then pumped off about 1000 rounds of ammunition with my machine gun. Today we had to put our watches on one hour, the same as England does in summer so it seems strange writing at a quarter to eight and the sun has not gone down yet. We heard today that Jerry had scored several direct hits on a train taking some of our fellows to Cairo on leave at Fort Cappsso. There are 17 killed and 50 wounded. The officer came to us about midnight tonight and he was terribly intoxicated.

Jerry is laying very low these last few days and we have seen hardly nothing of him, so I have a chance to write about other things. Here in the desert we often come across a tribe of wandering Arabs known in this country as Senucies and these people roam around the desert, whole families and them together with their tents, camels, goats and sheep from one water hole to another. These water holes as I have mentioned before are known as the Arabic term of “Bir” which were dug deep into the rock and then hollowed out by early Egyptian races. By what method they used to find the water I do not know. – Birs are foten many, many miles apart however the senucies know exactly where to locate them and so they pitch their tents here for a few weeks and then there, and so they move on, the women doing most of the work and just living on what they can find. – They are a quite peace loving people and are credited with having helped many of our men who have been left wounded on battlefields and even helped our men escape after being taken prisoner by the Germans. They have taken them in and cared for them. Very often you will find these people on a battlefield with a fight barely over, looking for whatever they can find in the way of clothes, blankets and food. – One characteristic about these people is, money is of no value whatsoever and will not look at it. You could offer them 1000 piestres (£10) for a goat and they would walk away and think you were trying to insult them, but offer them a tin full of sugar and they would jump at the chance and probably throw a camel in with the “Bargain”, so away out here in the desert from these simple people we learn that money is not everything in life and here it stands for exactly nothing and the sooner the civilized races of the world learn this the better for humanity. – We were told today that 20 of us would be allowed to go home on leave, so we all applied for it. Of course there is not much hope here for us as there is lots of fellows been here for nearly 2 years but there is no harm in applying, so I pray to God.

Today is Good Friday and I have prayed nearly the whole day. It has taken me until now again that there is a God which most people today take too much for granted and will only wake up when it is too late. From 12 – 3 I never spoke a word. The whole sky was full of planes today and in one formation alone I saw 12 heavy bombers and then all over the sky were fighters playing around. At different times anti aircraft batteries opened up and you could see all the shells bursting in the sky. Just at midday today I opened up with my Bren machine gun on two Jerries that came over. Tobruk was plastered with bombs right through the night.

Hell it is hot today. I have never known such heat, I have spent the day with boots, tin hats and bathing costume. There has been explosions and machine-gunning all day today and I could hear artillery firing and shells bursting. One Senucie was killed with machine-gunning today and I saw a German supply truck loaded up with petrol and ammunition go up in a terrific explosion and it burned for hours. There’s German aircraft flying over me now and by the high-pitched sound of the engines I know that they are Messerschmidtt. It is wonderful how you learn to detect these different planes after a while. Had a quiet night the rest of the night.

It was even hotter today than yesterday. Convoys coming up all day long. German Aircraft bombed us today and there were one or two dogfights. We got some beer today from Matruh. It is the first we have seen in many months and we did not take long to finish it but now I don’t know when I shall ever see beer again.

Today is Easter Monday and there was a bit of a church service. This morning I saw more planes in the air than I have ever seen before. In the first batch I counted 35 heavy bombers with fighters and not 2 minutes after they had passed another 12 heavy bombers come over and flew around a few times and were then joined by 13 fighters which brought the total number of planes that I saw or that passed over me within half an hour 60. Were machine gunned at about midday by messerschmitts. I was told that I was to loose my lance corporal and 2 of my men tomorrow as they are going back down the line because they were getting rid of all the ‘bomb happy’ and nervous men.. I shall be very sorry to loose these men and I was quite annoyed. Had a wash today at a Bir. We could hear a couple of air raids on Tobruk tonight.

My men left today and were replaced with new ones so I will have to start to learn them now. A couple of my fellows were in tears at having to leave, I even felt a lump come into my throat, you sort of become attached to men after you have been together for so long and been through every thing together that it is quite a business having to part. Were told that we may be moving to Bir El Hashiam which is right on the left flank of our front line right in the desert at 2 o’clock tomorrow morning which is when the moon comes out and that we were to be joined by the Free French and the remainder of our unit from Gazala and Acroma and I was also told that the water hole from which we are to get our water from is right in the middle of no mans land and every time we want to get some water we have to fight for it as Jerry also uses this water hole. Our A Company and 2 platoons were shelled all morning from German long-range artillery. It was terribly hot today and there was not much air activity here today. We never got our usual post today, I hope it comes tomorrow.

Poof it is hot. Nothing much happened today. We are all waiting to hear the outcome of Sir Stafford Cripps’ mission in India. I would not be surprised if the half of India turned against us. Anyway I am not all together in agreeance with giving India Dominion (?) status but by doing so it may give us about 45,000,000 Indians to fight the Japs. Anyway Cripps is a good man. Jerry must have heard of our proposed reshuffle of our front line as three of his columns attacked our position at Bir El Hashien and two Italians attacked our Gazala foremost defence localities. There is some fierce fighting going on and the enemy is slowly been annihilated. Still no post today.

We are knocking out Jerry tanks wholesale around Bir El Hashien in the south and at Gazala in the north, so his columns have not been of any success whatsoever. 13 fighters swooped over us this afternoon and we were relieved to know that we had some air support.

Nothing much to say, a few Jerry planes over us today but nothing much. It is terribly hot and I do not know how Germans can sit in their tanks that are attacking our positions still but it will not be for long now as they are being slowly annialated. We are still waiting to hear the outcome of the Muslim conference in India and whether they are prepared to except Britain’s proposal. They had better hurry up and decide. I am writing this diary with a candle stuck in a petrol tin and in the distance Jerry has started a raid on one of our aerodromes. The whole sky is lit up with flares, bursting shells and flaming. What a wonderful sight but the poor devils there must be getting hell. Anyway old Jerry has to pass my way on his way home again so I had better put out my candle or else he may just have kept one bomb over and let me have it, so if anything else happens tonight I shall write it up tomorrow.

All quiet in the western desert, just a little air activity but nothing to write home about. We are so used to it now. I took a snap of a stukka that we had brought down. Very surprised to hear the verdict on the Indian question. I think the Indians are a lot of fools for turning down England’s proposals. Now they shall have to fight the Japs all the same. Only we shall not have the wholehearted support of the Hindu. Sir S Cripps could not give them what they wanted. It was out of the question.

Received orders to move at 11 o’clock for Gazala. Moved off ok. We passed the Port of Acroma and arrived at Gazala at about 2 o’clock with anything happening. Moved into a position on the slopes of a Wadi in a cave overlooking the Bay of Gazala, which is about half a mile away and just above the main Bengazi-Derma-Tobruk road. Jerry tanks are now only about 5 miles at the most from us as you can see so far in the desert you have a big no mans land. Jerries artillery has been blasting us since we arrived here and I can hear the rumble of his guns all the time without stopping. It is getting dark now. So this is the front line?

Artillery firing all day long. No news of our armoured division which is supposed to attack Jerry from the rear at day break this morning. I think Jerry was informed of our move. Enemy aircraft over us today and my gosh we gave them everything we had but it was too uncomfortable for them so they got going quick. It was a very hot day today but it is quite cool in the cave in which I live but unfortunately it is infested with rats and the flies get worse by the day.

It was a very quiet day, even the artillery firing was only confined to the morning. Our little scheme the other night ended in 16 Natal soldiers killed, 30 missing, 5 tanks lost and two guns, but there is no news of our 1st Armoured division other than they have contacted the enemy and they were been held up unable to make any progress.
The wind has blown the whole day today and as I write now I can hear Jerry flying around and I’m expecting some shelling late tonight or the early hours of tomorrow morning. Still no letters from home. Oh! How I look forward to letters and how I miss them when they do not come.

Our artillery started shelling Jerry and Italian positions just before one o’clock this morning and continued right through the day. Still no news of our armoured division and still no letters. I have begun to think what are we fighting for in Democracy that National Socialism has not got. We have our family, home, job and our only ambition is to earn enough to live on and to put a little away for a rainy day. Well have they not got that only they do not have to worry about a rainy day? When that day comes this National Socialism looks after you and that is how it should be. After all the young Germans here must have something worth while to fight for or else they would not be so willing to die so bravely and fearlessly, they just come an in the face of anything with even attempting to take cover and there is nobody who can make me believe they are drugged either. I am afraid that is where our propaganda has been very effective in the past, but is making such a mess of things now that I am beginning to see through it. After three years of war we are still in no position to fight, Jerry out classes us in everything except men. His guns, tanks and planes are all better than ours but one Englishman although very small in statue is worth ten Germans and yet it is these little English men who are doing all the dirty work, fighting an enemy who is fully equipped and yet he himself has got exactly nothing and still he takes all the rough and comes out on top smiling. For what is he doing it and for who? No my contention is that democracy is a system invented by our Capitalists for their benefit so therefore they wont change it. It is them that control it and rule the country and are therefore in the position to jam all this dirty propaganda down our throats and we have swallowed it, lock stock and barrel, and so now here we are fighting, fighting for what? Not the democracy they have preached us, for the people of the people, by the people. Oh no but for the Capitalist so that he may continue to exist and hoard his millions and go unmolested, yet where do we find him in this fight? Certainly not fighting, no he is sitting at home amid all his wealth and let us (fools that we are but good fools) the people do his fighting so that he may live long to enjoy his millions.
Anybody who reads this diary I think, will, if they want to sit down and think it over, will find my argument very logical. It is about time we the British and our enemy the Germans, two of the purist and greatest nations in the world join hands in close collaboration and wipe the yellow race off the face of the earth. Who are a disease which is spreading and it will be very hard to check them just now, but here we are engaged in an informal bloody battle with one another when we could be using our resources to a better advantage.

I received letters at long last so now I feel better. Today has been the hottest day I have yet known so I took a little trip across No Mans Land and had a swim in Gazala Bay. Tonight is just as bad. There as been very little activity today. Late tonight our bombers must have been busy over Tamimi again as Jerry put up a hell of a barrage there. As we are not, if we look right across the Bay of Bamba we can see Tamimi in the distance.

Hell it is hot. I have never known or ever dreamed of it being as hot as this, it is killing and impossible to fight. Without a word of exaggeration if we have bread we could toast it on our tin hats. The wind is blowing hard from the south coming from across the desert. I could not stand it any longer so a bunch of us took a stroll across No Mans Land and just lay in the water in the Bay of Gazala, and the moment you got out of the water the water on your body would boil. While I was there the wind changed right around suddenly and started blowing from the North from across the Mediterranean Sea and it became suddenly cold. It must be a wind coming from the Alps in Italy. This is certainly a land of mystery. I fired a lot of anti tank grenades off today.

The heat was a bit easier today although still hot. Learnt with disgust that Haval (?) had been trusted with the forming of a new French Government. That means now that France will not be sold but given free of charge to her German bosses, but we at least know where we stand now. A messerschmitt attacked us this afternoon and we had a royal time pumping it full of lead but we were nearly shot up by our own machine guns of a regiment slightly in our rear who could not resist the temptation of having a go at it too. Some heavy shellfire towards this evening.

Brrrr! It is cold today. What a land of mystery and extremes. One day it is as hot as Hades itself and the next you think you are in the North Pole. Not much to report up to time of going to press. Received a letter containing snaps from home and also some parcels so had a grand feed. We have grown just like savages, we have been away from civilization so long and have quite forgotten how to act like human beings. A man becomes like that after a time of this life. First quarter moon tonight so we all know in our hearts without saying it, what this means. In a few nights time the moon will be high and nearly full (suitable for air operations) then the “fun” starts.

Chilly north wind blew all day. Jerry paid us an early visit this morning. At 6 o’clock two Jerry Heinkel bombers passed over us and not long afterwards we heard Tabruk in action. Anyway only one Heinkel came back from there and as he passed over our lines we gave him everything we had, and scored many direct hits on him. Our shells were seen to burst right through his fuselage, so I doubt if he got home. Were told today to pack and be ready to move in the morning, so I don’t know where we are going now. We wont go back, we cant go forward into No Mans Land so we must just be moving along the line somewhere. To fill in some gap in our line I suppose.

It’s terribly hot again today. We moved off to our new position at 10 o’clock. I am disappointed as that takes us further away from the sea. Anyway here we are well surrounded with plenty of big guns. At midday a Jerry came over so I opened my machine gun on him. Our artillery started shelling Jerry at about 6 o’clock and went on shelling him for several hors. Later we could see Tabruk getting a hammering.

I don’t think I need to mention the heat as it seems to be a regular thing now. Had enemy aircraft for breakfast and the rest of the day there was just artillery fire.

Our artillery shelled Jerry early this morning for a couple of hours. We had a terrible dust storm today, the worst I have seen yet. We watched it coming for a quarter of an hour, advancing on us like a blanket and when it struck us it was so thick you could not see your hand or boots, but it only lasted an hour as it passed on. Terrific shellfire, bursting bombs and machine gun fire from the direction of Tamimi tonight. I got a ration of a tin of beer, the first i've had for a week.

I read with great disgust today in a letter from home that men of the N.V.B. have been picked to escort German prisoners of War to Canada. There are regiments like the 1st Wits in the Union who have been on full time service for 2 years and they, poor devils, have been pushed all over the place and they are crying their hearts out to do a job of work for which they joined to do. But no, they take the N.V.B. who have done nothing except to attend one parade a week of two hours and then only if they feel like it. They are supposed to be Key men but they work behind shop counters selling women’s clothes and they call themselves Key men but when a pleasure cruise crops up to Canada, a nice holiday at the governments expense and to get paid for it too, they are no longer Key men but all grab at the chance. Our officer managed to get a bottle of Gin tonight so I helped him to finish it and so put me in a very sour mood.

Watched a whole string of dogfights this morning between our Kitty Hawk fighters and Messerschmitt 109F’s. Hell it is an exciting sight. Our fighters would pick them off one for one and go after their men climbing and screwing all over the sky and then with a couple of bursts of machine gun fire, down comes Mr Messerschmitt sailing through space only to hit the ground at about 700 miles per hour. It sure has been an unlucky day for Jerry as I think he set out to bomb our water point but our fighters were waiting for them with the result I think counted 4 shot down.

Went to division HQ today and met an old friend of mine (Sgt Thompson) was told that 13 planes were shot down yesterday. There was artillery fire all day. Apart from that everything passed off very quiet for Sunday as Sunday is Jerries pet day to start anything. Was issued with summer battle dress. The moon is quite bright at nights now so we have Jerry hanging around most nights but we leave him alone at night because if we open up on him at night we will give away our position, and that’s what he wants.

The usual shellfire all day. I have not heard any news for some time now as we are not near any radio. A number of explosions coming from a S.W. direction. Saw long columns of smoke but I think it is our fellows blasting out new trenches, I only wish someone, either Jerry or us would start a major offensive as we are all getting tied of just sitting but that is the strategy with desert warfare, it is to see who can sit the longest and who makes the first break. Actually we are both well consolidated so it is the one who can out manoeuvre the other who will be to the advantage.

At 10 o’clock this morning Jerry started machine-gunning us and kept it up for some time. It is wonderful how “browned off” a man gets to all this and does not even worry. If we were machine gunned 3 months ago we would have jumped out of our shoes with fright but now we don’t even turn our heads. This morning for instance when Jerry started the “fun” one fellow says, “there comes the old singing Messerschmitts” and another started singing ‘Suikerbossie’ and I say “hurry up and deal those cards” and so our game of bridge goes on with old Jerry trying to break it up with a couple of machine guns.
Went today to where our A Company is patrolling the beach just in the rear of Gazala Bay and had a wash in the sea, on my way there I passed over an aerodrome which we had captured from the enemy and there were about 40 Jerry and Italian planes on the field all smashed up. I inspected one Junkers Troop carrying plane and even sat in the pilots seat but it is one Jerry won’t go again. Our artillery started shelling Jerry at about 7 o’clock tonight.

A miserable day today. Sand, dust and dirt and everything is rotten with flies. I am not feeling to well today. I have swollen glands under the jaw and am also suffering from desert blindness and my eyesight is very bad. I saw a doctor and he pushed me into a field hospital, which is underground in an old dried up Bir, so here I am now in hospital. I hope it is not for long. One consolation anyway is we have a radio here.

Spent a quiet night and my eyesight is very bad. This morning the radio played all old tunes and it brought back memories of home and my younger days and I could not help the tears that came into my eyes. They played “Ay sweet mystery of life” and I remembered how we all used to stand around the piano at the farm and sing all these tunes. Those were happy young carefree days and seem so far away, and are just memories in a mans heart. So much has happened since then. Oh for a normal life again with my home and those I love around. Nobody will ever realize how much that word home has come to mean to me out here in the desert.
I had my teeth scraped today. Sandstorms raged all day today and it was as hot as Hades. Five months today since I left the Union.