Relationships

The ties that bind us together - and pull us apart

Strange people...

Hmm...
This page used to be just about the poems I wrote about love -- some specific, most not, many of them bitter. I decided to expand it to relationships in general -- which includes friendship, previously a rare topic in my poetry. There's also a few poems in here about hatred, because that is a bond nearly as strong as friendship.

Time passes, and things change... When you leave a place, end a way of life, some things are lost forever. There is a life after high school -- and now I get to find out what it's like.

Poems

dance
and leave behind
the things that make you sane
some things have no logic
passion has no shame

20 one-one
all these separate
that come to make something less
broken love songs
a dream of what can never be
burning smiles
retreat into what is safe

sometimes
i wish sunlight would evaporate me
breathe me into wings
so escaping these petty spats
of pain and greed and love
but i have drifted there, alone
where nothing reaches
it becomes too easy
to lose yourself for none

all the things
and i know i can never live up to this
but who would not try?
i shake with joy
until it frightens me
and hope to return it fivefold

oh and it's magic
these things that i feel
but i need you so hard
and i wonder
what do you feel
do you need me so
are you who i know?

come on in
take your shoes off at the door
i can't make you stay
but i can make it where you don't want to go

can two hands ever touch?
so far and yet so close at heart
tangled unknown in empty space
while waiting colors seep within

Fearless
we dance
enjoying the movement
enjoying the pain
tired
but laughing
this moment will not come
again

footsore and laughing
they clutch balloons
that shimmer and float
bright colors swirling,
sweeping
the last great dance is over
but there are things
still to be done
the long night shines

I want to watch you sleep, my love.
I want to feel your dreams, hanging in the air.
I want to know your arms, my love.
I want to hear your words, lingering in my ear.

Love is the truth behind all dreams
Love is every moment here inside
Love is more than ever in your reach
Love is the force you cannot deny

it gets to a point --
where things are
better than big
and
more than so,
and we are
speechless;
beyond all words.

Joy
everything changes,
and nothing
worlds turn
and life goes on
but
somewhere in there
truth speaks
in a small voice
and i have lost tomorrow

love    is

right now

for eternity

every moment
here
inside
i am flying
knowing home waits
i am free

oh

   my...

butterflies and bright balloons

simple smiles with no reason

  dream of light and joy


all the cliches are true

but i can't bring myself

  to care

afraid of this
i feel the changes
quietly shaking
i will not fight
sick and smiling
i bow to power
weakly hoping
i wait for life

like too long in
the sun,
raw with feeling;
can only stand a
gentle touch

should be afraid,
i think but
how when i feel
this like glory

a wait to judge
to feel and see
this glorious
impossibility
this shining feeling
i cannot say
but i must know
he feels this way

liquid feathers
mixed with fire
that feel so unexplained
no quarter given --
no quarter asked
all is fair in this war

afraid of waiting
bored with fear
i feel so crazy
when you're near
wanting touch and
feeling need
i've little courage
for this deed

i dont know what

this is

    feels like

feathers

    inside of me

who thinks of me?

White gardenias and
cigarette smoke
blend
with cherry-sweet incense
and hope

sleeping in the warmth of dawn
where all begins
we dream of smiles and
wait for waking

Someone once said

     You are strong

And someone else said

     You are beautiful

These words I hold

     Against the blows

The hate and hurts

     And in my heart I remember

I am valued

     In being me.

Hello
Who are you
Have we ever met before
I know your voice
but not your name
I cannot find the words

Your hand reaches out -

I hesitate, afraid.

You wait, smiling.

I look away -

Your hand darts out

         through me

         into me

I fall.

         But open my eyes -

     on truth.

I was caught.

     By the hand

                       of a friend.

When I look
in the mirror,
I do not see what you see.
I see me:
young fair-haired bright
calm solemn secretive
hopeful melancholy alone.
What is it that you see
that makes you
hate me so?

Take my hand
hold me back from
the whirlwind
Sound color light
storming my emotions
I step back from the brink
of a bad decision
into the arms of friendship
But still I watch the storm

dreams are shorn
long black strands of
glimmerdark hair
floating in a river of ifs

Rage

shaking powerless

sobbing  why me?

sharply  was it you?

imagined harms  for all

covered

with disgusted superior

lying calm

Don't let them see you
cry.
It is a blood-red
flag
in the water.
Laugh,
or curse,
or push past. (never retreat.)
Do anything else,
and it's like offering
your neck
to a vampire.
Hate drains you dry.

Said child of Day to child of Night:
"You look so dark, and I look so bright
But deep down inside you there is a light;
While hidden within me is a terrible sight--
Broken lonliness, shattered dreams;
My heart is full of anguished screams
All day long my soul does grieve--
I want you, Night, and cool reprieve."

Despair is black

           So is love.

It is as empty as deep space

           Velvet enfolding.

As cold as still dark waters

           Warmly close.

It is endless depths

           Supporting arms.

Black is its own

           opposite.

My soul sreams psychic agony
My heart cries tears of blood
My voice squeaks the sound of shutting doors
This seems more like torture than love.

The Terrible Answer

Yes or No?

Hope and happiness, joy and light

or more despair, like darkest night...


I'm not sure which scares me more.

Either answer means

     no return to before.

This next one isn't really a poem --
it's a song, but I write so few that I don't want to make it a separate category.
The tune isn't really fixed, but it would be like something by Live.

Drain

So close I can hear you breathing
So close I can feel your pain
So close I think I love you
It's time to go again

I want you with me
I'm so alone, so isolated
That I don't know why
I think I'm what you ever needed

dry eyes
it hurts to cry
but I want the pain
tears fall down and
feed my soul

dry eyes
it hurts to cry
but I want the pain
tears fall down and
drown my aching heart

So far from you I am screaming
So far from you, you can't hear
So far from now on
I don't think I will come again

dry eyes
it hurts to cry
but I want the pain
tears fall down and
dry me up

Quotations

God is in
the cracks
where
dreams and
friendships lie
---by Trey Cundall

Of Love and Loss

by Ryan A. Dayton


The people come,

the people go.

The people here,

they do not know.

      What I went through

      a week ago?

      They wouldn't care

      and they don't know.

The tears of sorrow

that I shed.

I've lost myself

And I am dead.

      The people come,

      The people go.

      The people here,

      They do not know.

Secret of Doom
by Firesong

Deep inside my heart's defenses, a secret doth lie
One whose power could cause my world to die
Forever hidden must it be, kept forever deep in me

A secret that life does not understand, a secret that sets fire to land
A secret whose power lays still in the night, hungering to be let into the light
A secret that i most wish to share, but not do i ever dare.

A world torn apart is not what i need, so i must stick to my silent creed
Silent forever must i remain, if my sanity i wish to retain
Darkness within me, pouring thru all
Waiting for me to slip and fall
Waiting to drown me, in sorrow so deep, that out of it, never will i creep.

Tears in my eyes, as i look at my "friends" who will never know what inside me lies
A secret so dangerous, so powerful, compelling, and strong
That it is a wonder that i have held it in for so long.

Someday in a world that is new
When people are different and understand some more
then maybe my secret i will explore
When into this world not a ripple shall be made, than with pride can i truly say
"Yes all, i am........"

Dedicated to all those who are shaych and have to hide that part of themselves.

Wild Nights -- Wild Nights!
Were I with thee
Wild Nights should be
Our luxury!

Futile -- the Winds --
To a Heart in port --
Done with the Compass --
Done with the Chart!

Rowing in Eden --
Ah, the Sea!
Might I but moor -- Tonight --
In Thee!
----- by Emily Dickinson

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
----- by Emily Dickinson

Affection that will not be gainsayed, the sense of what is real, the thought if after all it should prove unreal,
The doubts of day-time and the doubts of night-time, the curious whether and how,
whether that which appears so is so, or is it all flashes and specks?
----- from "There Was A Child Went Forth"
by Walt Whitman

In the pale light of the moon I play the game of you. Whoever I am. Whoever you are.
-----The Sandman, issue 36

When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her -- but she was waiting for the ideal man.
-----anonymous

Days go by
I catch myself smile
More than you'd ever expect
It's been a long while
Since it's been o.k.
To feel this way
-----Duncan Sheik, "Days Go By"

I look through the darkness into the sky
The moon up above me brilliantly shines
I've never been happier watching it glow
I'm here by myself, but I know I'm not alone
I'm not alone
I look through the brightness into the sky
The sun up above me, spitting out fire
Call me a child, call me naive
But the world is much brighter
Than it ever used to be...
-----Duncan Sheik, "Home"

If I stay lucky
then my tongue will stay tied
and I won't betray the things that I hide
There's not enough years
underneath this belt
for me to admit the way that I fell
-----Seven Mary Three, "Lucky"

caught in your mystery...
I've fallen down,
drunk on your juices...
your eyes are crazy
I bowed to save my head and
I can't forget you--
but I can't remember..
turn my head--
it's aimed at you...
-----from "Turn My Head," by Live

"Eat. Relax. I love you. There, see? Everything's all right."
-----Stef to Vanyel, Magic's Price

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