FLC: FAQ

What is Shine?
To quote the guys: "Shine's our place - it has been since it opened.". Shine is a NYC bar at 285 West Broadway, just below Canal Street [Call (212) 941-0900]. It has a strict door policy, but if you do get in (and remember this is the U.S. - you'll need to be over-21 and have photo I.D. to get in. You will be asked for I.D. if you appear to be under-30!), look out for a plaque on the wall which identifies 'Fun Lovin' Criminals Corner'. The guys know the owner (or is it bartender...?) and often take guests into a back room for some space. Huey and Fast recently started organising their own party nights - in particular 'Ladies' Night' - girls get in free, but it's $5 for the guys - even the Crims pay!

DO NOT GO AND STALK THEM AND THEN BLAME ME. The only reason I am telling you all this is because some real fan might want to go see the place where the band hang out if they are ever in NYC. Real fans do not hassle the guys - they respect their need for time out.

Who's John Gotti?
A legendary New York gangster, who was caught and imprisoned. That's all you really need to know!

Would Huey go to another planet for 5 years and live with the aliens?
Yes! And he would take some ganja, his digital camera and his laptop (to store all the pics of the young, female aliens hanging out by the beach).

Who or what the hell is Fisty-Nuts?
Fast. It's a nickname he got cos he has a tendency to go a little mad sometimes. See also 'Fisty-cuts' (Fast's DJing) and 'Fisty-Cutbacks' (Fast in charge of the band's financial expenditure).

If they're so good, why have I not heard of them?
Because you are a musical philistine? Because you've been trapped in a Big Brother style environment for the last decade? No, seriously - you've probably heard their songs but not known that it's FLC who wrote them.

I want to meet them, how do I do it?
You get a really lucky break! (Like me!) Here are some other options:

• Take up the saxophone and get really good, really fast - that's the only instrument the guys contract in when recording.
• Go to a gig and go mad at the front of the mosh pit - then hope Mateo gives you some backstage passes (it works, been there, done that got passes!).
• Walk around Brooklyn, dressed as an Imperial Stormtrooper - apparently Fast does!
• Go to a gig dressed as a StarWars character - but me and Lucy have bagsied Hans Solo and Princess Leia respectively, but not in a weird way.
• Faint at a gig - hopefully you'll be carried backstage.

My taxi got egg-and-floured, who is responsible?
Huey and Fast: "We ride BMX, so cabs are like our nemesis!"

What do Scooby Snacks taste like?
Cr*p. See for yourself.

Scooby Snacks

2 cups flour
2 eggs
1 cup Quaker Dry Oatmeal
1 tbsp vanilla essence/extract
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 tsp walnut extract
˝ cup sugar
4oz butter
1 oz ‘herbs’ (optional)

Preheat oven to 350F/180C. Combine all the ingredients in a large mixing bowl. If there is not enough liquid to mix all the ingredients to a smooth batter, add small amounts of milk until all ingredients are combined. Taste the mixture and adjust the sugar content to your liking. Place on a lightly greased baking sheet and bake for 8-12 minutes, depending on how big you make your cookies and whether you prefer your cookies chewy or crisp. Bear in mind that cookies only crisp AFTER you’ve taken them out of the oven. Don’t know why, they just do!

Don’t know where this recipe came from exactly, but it’s only a mix for chocolate pretzels with a few tweaks.

Can you tell me any good places to eat in NYC?
Sure! Well, for pizza, I heard ‘Ben’s Pizza’ in the Village is good. For Chinese, try ‘Ollie’s’, just off Times Square (the Spicy WonTons are so good, and they do takeout!). For totally different eating experience, try Mars 2112, which is off Broadway at about 44th - get there early to avoid queues. There are loads of good delis throughout the city, but a personal favourite is ‘Pax Wholefoods’ on Madison at about 51st. For an FLC-related eat, then try B.B. King’s Blues Bar and Grill on Broadway at 42nd opposite the New Amsterdam Theatre where ‘The Lion King’ is currently playing. If you have a recommendation then send it in!

Does Huey still have his U.S. Marines uniform? Are there any pictures of him in uniform?
Yes he does – he wore it at Glasto one year apparently. And now I have a picture, kindly sent to me by Sandra (thanks!):

If you too have some pics, then don’t hesitate to send ‘em to me.

Where's the 'view that belongs to everyone'?
It's the view from an apartment on W33rd Street, Manhattan, NY.

How many fillings does Huey have?
Ask Cat Deeley.

Why doesn't the official website ever get updated?
Why do you need that site when you have so many great unofficial ones?

When's the Video/DVD coming out?
When videos become obsolete. (UPDATE: Latest news says: August 2001)

Who's 'my man Peter Gatien'?
The owner of the Limelight - the club where Fast and Huey worked before FLC. Gatien once served a 60-day sentence for tax evasion.

What's the best Haribo variety?
Tangfastics or Fruit pasta.

Why isn't DiFontaine Carting and Asbestos Removal in the Manhattan phone directory?
Because it's based in Brooklyn!

How's a breadmaker going to help Fast?
It's not.

What’s all this about a Huey and Britney duet?
Well, it’s a load of rubbish! However, they have been collaborating. Y’see Huey has been coaching Britney – he’s her new image consultant – hence the new rock chick look. Meanwhile ol’ Brit has been helping Huey out with some songs (as previewed on ‘All Back to Mine’). So here you go – a PFLC exclusive:

Oops...Got Arrested Again

Oops!.. I Did It Again!
He he he he he he
He he he he he he

I think I did it again
I made you believe, I don’t smoke no weed
(Hey buddy)
It might seem like a phase,
But hey can’t you see, this bluish-grey haze?
I like to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me!
Hey buddy, buddy…

Oops, got arrested again,
I smoked some more pot,
Got caught by a cop.
Hey buddy, buddy!
Oops, you’d think I’d be good,
N just hang in the ‘hood,
I’m just not innocent

Y’see my problem is this
I’m going away, to a place where aliens really exist
I spy, watching the babes
Y’see they’re so cool, in so many ways
I like to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me!
Hey buddy, buddy…

He he he he he he
He he he he he he

"All aboard"
"Huey, before you go, there's something I want you to have"
"Oh Fast, your stormtrooper outfit, but hold up – this is your favourite…!"
"Yeah, yes it is"
"But I thought you used it to pick up the ladies "
"Well Huey, those alien babes’ll love you in it”
"Oh, you shouldn't have"

Oops, I got arrested again,
I smoked some more pot, hey buddy
Oops, you’d think I’d be good,
I’m just not innocent!

*

I want to know the best DVDs around, who knows about this stuff and is FLC related?
Fast. Check out Fisty's DVD reviews on Prophet-Omega. Skills has done a coupla movie reviews too. UPDATE: Watch Caddyshack. It explains a lot - including the origin of 'Got any eights?' And it's hilarious. Huey IS Carl!

What is Fast and Mateo's most prized possession?
Well, it's hard to describe. It's kind of an assembly board for joints! And it has the DiFontaine logo on. (I'll see if it's on any of the pictures.)

Why does Mackie never speak in interviews?
Well, he says it ain't in his contract!

Is is true that you gave each member of FLC a Christmas present - a box of pink and white panty-shaped confectionary items from M&S Blackburn costing 99p each?
Yes. I will say no more. UPDATE: M&S have discontinued these delicacies. Well actually they tasted disgusting...but HEY! They were comedy confectionery.

Who are Johnny Block, Mateo, Skills and Winston?
Johnny Block is FLC's manager, and he appears in the Loco vid as the president and also the drug baron guy.
Mateo DiFontaine (aka DJ Doublemilk) is ...a hip-hop/reggae DJ (slammin'!) and apparently some kinda relation to FLC. Not sure exactly to who. He is keyboardist in the band Cooley High. He hangs round with FLC a lot, and you'll see him at all the concerts. You may recognise him from his numerous dying roles in Huey's Acting School. Or the afro wig in Maui Homicide 2000. He and Fast are good mates. He is a trained chef and has a lot to do with the setting up of DiFontaine's restaurant in London. Apparently his dad, Miguel(?), is part-owner of the Trucking and Asbestos Removal co., but I'm not sure about the Records and Tapes. Oh and he has a top accent. UPDATE: Another little thing, I think his little bro Kevin 'the Kid' DiFontaine is in the 'go fish' Scooby Snacks video, making the cocktails. If you know anything about this, mail me please. Meanwhile, here's some other stuff I found:

2:00amSHAG @ Shine [it doesn't mean that in the US!!!!!]
At Shine's "Shag" party, silk ties get loosened, leather bags get tossed on red velvet couches, and the uptowners make it worth their cab ride by taking full advantage of the dance floor -- and one another. To the tune of D.J. Greg Poole's eighties hits, the young, moneyed crowd drops hundreds of dollars on bottles of Ketel One, dances atop the banquettes, and tries to lick Armani his and hers cologne off each other's necks. But that's only until 2 a.m.; then the uptown girls and guys climb back into cabs, and the turntables are turned over to D.J. Mateo DiFontaine of the Fun Lovin' Criminals and JUS-SKE from the Danücht crew for hard-core hip-hop. One week, Demi Moore and D.J. Muggs and Sen Dog of Cypress Hill were even dancing together. "It's a last-destination spot for the downtown crowd on Thursday night," said co-promoter Jason Strauss. "It's a great way to prepare for the weekend." 285 West Broadway (212-741-1700)
J.S.

What/where is The Brass Giraffe?
Not entirely sure. 'A full service production facility in Manhattan.' Here's what Mateo has to say:

DJ MATEO DiFONTAINE-COOLEY HIGH/FUN LOVIN CRIMINALS: Proper levels, proper bass,and more bass. I love this place

• Turn off the smoke alarm.
• Make a big pile of all your garden waste. FLC love to burn leaves. I’m sure a bonfire will please both FLC and your cousin immensely.
• Pop down to Sainsbury’s and get some Basil – the guys are big fans of herbs.

• While you’re at Sainsbury’s, get a bottle of Remy Martin. The guys have this on their rider (what they demand at each place they play). Also, get some Miller GD (or don't botherhsince FLC have a lifetime supply) and some mineral water in. In fact, restock your entire liquor cabinet including Aftershock. And make sure you get the silver tequila. Unless Kylie’s coming as well.
• Hide any embarassing items, such as items in you record collection, e.g. Starship’s We Built This City, (which Huey hates), any Underworld records, (we all know about that incident), Blur records should you have the misfortune to own a...you get the idea. (Please note: Kids, records were the things that were big and round, and came before those things your parents have that they call 'cassettes'. Then we get to the CDs, MDs and MP3s...)
• Remove any evidence of stalking or FLC obsession, e.g. Safari aftershave, TBS, lifesize posters, pictures, photos in a heart-shaped frame, letters, birthday presents, T-shirts, hats, jackets, sweatshirts, shrines, night-vision goggles, finger-printing kits, DNA samples, locks of hair...
• Finally, send me your address. If FLC are gonna be there, then so am I.

FLC look/sound familiar. Where have I seen/heard them before?
Well, in no particular order, FLC have featured in some way in the following ad campaigns:

• The Mercedes A Class (UK, 1999) - FLC's song 'The Fun Lovin' Criminal' was used on the Mercedes campaign, which featured the, then new, A Class going through a weird car wash type thing, with a girl holding a hosepipe while watching the car.
• Ally McBeal (UK, 2000) - The third series of Ally McBeal was advertised on Channel 4 in 2000, the ad consisting of the character of John Cage sitting at a desk, while 'Love Unlimited' played over the top. In the show, John Cage has an obsession with Barry White whom he feels gives him power to talk to women. White's song 'The First, The Last, My Everything' is the loopy lawyer's theme song, so Ch4 thought that the 'Barry White, saved my life..' chorus of FLC's track was very appropriate for advertising the show.
• Children's Promise (UK, 1999-2000) - This was a charity organistaion set up to mark the millennium.

  

  FLC's involvement came when Band-Aid stylee, the charity decided to release a single featuring host of modern pop stars. The single, a cover of the Rolling Stones' 'It's Only Rock n Roll' featured Huey (and the boys, to a much lesser extent) along with Skin (Skunk Anansie), Natalie Imbruglia, Iggy Pop, B.B. King, Mick Jagger, Annie Lennox....

• BBC Perfect Day Advert and Single (UK, 1997) - 'The BBC - you make it what it is'.

  

  The Lou Reed song 'Perfect Day' was covered for the BBC's advert, and proved so popular that it was released as a single (for charity) and hit the number one spot in the UK charts in November 1997. Huey sang the line 'someone good, yeah' and was in the video (the boys probably worked behind the scenes). The song also featured Elton John, Lesley Garrett, David Bowie, Bono, Boyzone, Heather Small (M People), Shane McGowan (the Pogues) and Lou Reed.

• Miller Genuine Draft (UK, 2000-2001) - The boys filmed a commercial for Miller Genuine Draft which aired on 1st December 2000 in the UK. The ad featured the guys sat in the back of a car in a traffic jam on one of the bridges spanning the East River, sipping some MGD, when Huey decides it's time to party. 'It's Miller time.' , he announces, at which point the guys get out of the car and begin to play 'Loco' on a magically appearing stage. Fast said at the time, 'We're not going to advertise Coke or Pepsi, but y'know beer is good for you!'.
• Other stuff - DiFontaine's Carting and Asbestos Removal, Shine, The Brass Giraffe, Maui, beanie hats (not sure of the brand on this one – more when I get it) and One2One.

How do you spell Mateo/Matteo?
Well, on the 'thank yous' on the album sleeves it says Mateo, but on the promo posters for the last tour it says 'Matteo'. His autograph makes his name look like Fiffle..so, not sure - sorry. If you know for sure, mail me please.
UPDATE: Looks like it's spelt Mateo which is the Spanish version of Matteo and means 'Gift of God'. No comment #smothered laughter#.

Who is Huey's favourite Simpson's character?
Principle Skinner - "He says some of the funniest shit that's on that show. He's the one who's the Vietnam vet and he has this very dark humour."

What colour karma beads does / did Fast wear?
Pale browny yellow - said to inspire and promote creativity as well as self-restraint.

What kind of phones do FLC have?
Silver Nokia 3210s and at least one of FLC (I think Mackie), has the Loco ringtone. The composer feature on the phone I suppose could come in handy for the boys...

What's this about an FLC computer virus?

Firms wrestle with resilient FunLove virus
By Stephen Shankland, Staff Writer, CNET News.com
November 12, 1999, 4:50 p.m. PT
Antivirus companies have found a new computer virus called FunLove that's easy to detect but hard to remove.
FunLove infects Windows-based computers across networks and brings the concept of evading antivirus software to a new level of resiliency, said Symantec Antivirus Research Center director Vincent Weafer.
Once it infects a computer, it resides in memory and reinfects files as fast as antivirus software can clean them, he said. In addition, the virus weakens the security of a system, making it easier to attack, he said.
Symantec's ordinary antivirus software can't eradicate the virus on Windows NT machines, so a special program must be used, Weafer said. On Windows 95 and 98 machines, it's relatively simple to remove, he said. On Windows NT, the virus resists any attempt to shut it down.
The FunLove virus itself is relatively harmless because it doesn't destroy files but rather adds data to files, making them gradually get larger and larger, Weafer said. The virus adds the name of the obscure [K chokes on cup of tea - they're hardly obscure!]rock band Fun Lovin' Criminals into the files, said Russian antivirus company Kaspersky Lab.
Several companies have reported infection by the virus, mostly in Europe but also in the United States and Canada, he said. It was first observed Tuesday.

Do any of the band have brothers or sisters?
The band don't tend to mention their families much, but we do know that Huey has at least one sister, and Fast has at least one brother.

How tall is Fast?
Not as tall as you would expect. Ray reckons about 5"10.

Where can I write to FLC?
FLC
PO Box 811
Peck Slip Station
New York
NY
10272-0811
Email: Criminals@mindspring.com
I doubt they'll reply if you ARE wanting citizenship information, and I would suggest offering a monetary bribe should you wish to receive a response.

Where did the name 'Fun Lovin' Criminals' come from?
A graffitti gang in NYC, whose tag was Fun Lovin' Crime. Apparently Huey knew one of the gang, and 'borrowed' the name from there.

Who is MC Varge / MC Large esq.?
Huey's alter-ego. And for the record may I say that I think everyone needs at least one alter-ego (useless fact, alter-ego is Latin for 'other self'), cos who else are you going to blame? See also 'Who or what the hell is Fisty-nuts?'.

How do you spell the name of that vegetable that they make chips out of?
POTATO (no 'E'). Plural, POTATOES (with an 'E').

I was in Dublin, wandering the streets as one does, when I came across a Hawaiian-theme pub, named the Voodoo Lounge. Who could be responsible for such a creation?
Huey is co-owner of Voodoo Lounge in the Smithfield area of Dublin (nothing to do with the one in London, which is owned by members of the Rolling Stones I believe), which he describes as 'a dark den of reggae, R&B, hip hop, house and Caribbean music'. Huey purchased a 'significant stake' in it in November 2000. Why a pub in Ireland? "I'm half Irish myself, I've made some good friends there and I like the vibes in Dublin. It's very relaxed and that appeals to me."

Who is Super Bad Brad?
To my friends and I at least, the god of karaoke. We love you Brad! Come back to Manchester soon and sing to us again!

When FLC say they 'got more endurance than In-a-gadda-davida', what the hell are they on about?
'In the 60s there was this mad prog rock band called Iron Butterfly (predecessors of Iron Maiden I think!) they did an epic rock song called 'In-a-gadda-davida'. It was called 'In the Garden of Eden', but the guy who was writing down the title was pissed [ratted, arseholed, drunk - not angry! - K] and misheard it,and it stuck!
The song is 17 minutes long which explains the endurance reference.'
(Thanks to Charlie)

My girlfriend wants me to take salsa lessons. Will this hurt my credibility in the Crims' eyes?
No it won't. In fact, Huey himself used to take salsa classes. Yes girlies, the man can dance. But quite frankly, to me, salsa is something you serve with dip chips and in any other form I find it repulsive. However, if anyone has any pics of Huey salsa dancing, then please, send 'em in. Especially if he's wearing a frilly shirt and Cuban heels.
(Thanks to Lucy)

My mother/gran/cat is convinced that the Loco video is porn. How can I convince her otherwise?
I had that problem, and the simple answer is that you can't. I found the best response was: 'I wouldn't know, I don't watch that kind of thing and I wasn't aware that you did. Please keep such information to yourself in future.' or 'Well, yes Fast/Huey/Mackie/JB does look rather fine, but isn't he a bit young for you? I'm sure there's a word for that...'. She may still think it's porn, but the comments dry up.

I can't cope. What am I going to do without DJ Mateo's sets before each FLC gig?
Oh dear. Well, you could always make your own Mateo-stylee mix. Tracks could include:

• Jurassic 5 - Concrete Schoolyard, Lesson 6: The Lecture
• Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize
• Dr Dre feat. Snoop Dogg - The Next Episode
• Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (That Thing)
• Grandmaster Flash- The Message
• DJ Kool - Let Me Clear My Throat
• Run DMC - Walk This Way (feat. Aerosmith), Peter Pipper, Jump Around

I have a spare afro wig I found under my bed. Do you know anyone who would appreciate it?
FLC. Fast, Mateo, Winston and Skills seem to display a particular fondness for the afro, having sported it on numerous occasions on tour and more recently on MTV. Blond, black...I haven't seen them with a Macy Gray stylee purple one yet, but I'm first on the waiting list for that thanks!

What do the voices tell you to do Kat?
You hear them too?

How do you know all this?
I hear things...

I have a question, where do I mail it?
To me!