Goodbye My Love...
<Moscom Butuan>
The first time I met him I said to myself, "this is the man I am
going to marry someday." Alas, he was pre-occupied with someone else at
the time as I was with another. We simply met and then went on our
separate ways. As fate would have it, however, our paths crossed again
two years or so later. This time, we were both free. Thus, began my
saga with a soldier......
He was a good person, a gentleman. I had no problem with the
prolonged separation. I trusted him completely. My friends warned me
against falling in love with someone like him but I was insistent. I
was in love. Other girls were everywhere -- I had no problems with that,
too. All he had to do was assure me that I was the one he loved and
everything was okay. He was always good at making up for his
shortcomings. The limited time we spent together was simply the best.
But there was something missing. He wouldn't talk to me. I felt
left out...like one from the outside looking in. I felt I wasn't part of
his life because he refused to share the simple everyday things with
me. I tried to tell him but he wouldn't listen....or he didn't
understand. I left. Life became miserable since then. But I went on.
Until one day I learned he'd gotten married to some girl he'd gotten
pregnant. Tough luck. I gave up all hopes of ever getting back with
him.
Again, as fate would have it, we met again. Got back together.
Things were still the same. He hasn't changed. I still felt taken for
granted. I tried so hard to be patient. I gave him time to adjust to
my presence (again!) in his life but things were still the same. He
refused to change. Finally, had to make my decision. No matter how
much I loved him I had to let him go. I was losing myself in my attempt
to grasp at what I thought was the only source of my ultimate happiness.
So, goodbye, my love. I know its unfair to just disappear without a
word or trace. I can't face you. I don't know what to say. I don't
want to cry a sea of tears again.
I hope you'll be able to read this and realize how painful this is
for me. I hope that someday you'll realize I was actually doing us a
favor with this. Who knows, we might still have that "happy ever after
we so longed for". Till then, my prayers are with you. Till we meet
again.
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