The Monster Behind the Uniform
<creampuff>
Being two-timed is one of the worst things
in life, not to mention psychologically damaging. It
happens when you least expect it, when you most love
that person and when you just announced to society
that he is the greatest. And then doom unfolds its
self to you, all transpiring in slow motion, like a
goofy, low-budget action movie; His calls are becoming
more and more infrequent; his deep, baritone voice
blubbering some lame, half-baked excuse, feeling sad
he wouldn't be able to make it to your birthday party;
he accidentally, almost unnoticeably, addresses you by
the wrong name. You start to get suspicious so you get
up the nerve to ask him, "Mahal, why do I get this
feeling that you're not being one hundred percent
honest with me?" And he answers you, with great acting
ability, complete with blinking puppy eyes, making
your heart skip a dangerous number of times,"Mahal
naman, you know that you are the only woman I want to
spend the rest of my life with! Come on, let's go get
some pizza!"
Mouth gaping, you find him at the mall, his
hairy arm wrapped around a girl wearing cheap, heavy
make-up, looking as if she hadn't recovered yet from a
major surgical operation (and I know you know what I
mean). Is there no justice in this world? You rub your
eyes to check if you were having a bad dream, only to
find out that it is for real. To further mock your
composure, the girl bats her ridiculously thick
eyelashes at your hunk-of-a-boyfriend, stroking his
face with a perfectly manicured hand and gives him a
lingering kiss on the lips. Mr.
I-thought-you-were-the-one-But-I-Guess-I-Was-Wrong
sees you marching towards him and protectively shields
the creature he was with from your fury. The reader
can probably guess the next chain of events that
happened afterwards. But I'll give you a hint:
Intensive Care Unit.
It would probably take several sessions with
the psychiatrist before you get over the traumatic
experience of being discarded by your perfect little
boyfriend. He was idolized by your little brother;
adored by your 12-year-old; trusted by your mother
because he was a PMAer, knowing he will live up to
these - Courage, Loyalty and Integrity - Only to find
out the bitter truth that he would make you look like
a complete moron after all the sacrifices you did for
him.
Regret
It was September 10, 2000 when I met the
most amazing guy in the world. Or so I thought. It was
that particular day when the entrance examinations for
the Philippine Military Academy were held - he was the
cadet assigned to supervise the "A" room - Spencer was
his name.
I had always been filled with the belief
that PMA cadets and graduates are nothing but
ill-mannered, pig-headed creeps whose only purpose of
existence was to manipulate the female population. All
my friends told me to give him a chance to prove that
I was wrong about Military men. So I did.
Words cannot clearly articulate the bliss he
made me feel when we were together. Spencer had many
plans for us - our future together. I was never
bothered by the fact that he was four years older than
me, knowing he would be there to help me grow. I truly
looked up to him and made him the only inspiration in
my life. He made me very happy - Deliriously happy.
Until the day I learned about the "Other
Woman". Anger was the only emotion I could feel that
very moment. I had been deluded in the most
humiliating way possible and I hated him for making me
believe in all his lies. If I had only known that
Spencer would eventually make a flaming imbecile out
of me, I'd have bailed out from the very beginning.
Depressed, I am Not
I'm not as depressed as I was two days ago.
Right now, I'm feeling sort of, giddy, high-spirited,
and relieved at the same time. I guess it has a lot to
do with the fact that Spencer called, not to get back
together with me, but to say how sorry he was for
cheating on me. At first, I was furious at him for
telling me that he was gloriously happy with "the
other woman". I could not believe the gargantuan size
of his ego!! Here I was, moping around, feeling so
sorry that things sucked between us, while he, on the
other hand, had the nerve to tell me that he was
having the time of his life with that creep! I was
clutching the phone with such intensity that my
knuckles turned white. Anyway, that was the dreadful
part of the story. The good side was that Spencer
didn't give me a lame explanation for doing what he
did to me. I would never have listened anyway because
he would only be insulting my intelligence by trying
to make me believe that it was all just a "major
misunderstanding". He still knew me better than that.
I have tried hard to make things work for
both of us. But it just wasn't enough. However, I
still wouldn't miss any chance to show that girl that
I loathed her guts. She practically threw herself at
him despite the fact that she knew he was already
committed. I would pay big money to see her hanged and
dried like a piece of beef jerky. Additional
irritating information about her: she pronounces,
"Church" as "Chaaarrchh". How ridiculous could you
possibly get?
I'm only seventeen years old. Maybe it still
isn't time for me to be involved emotionally (my
father would slaughter me if he found out I already
had a boyfriend). Maybe some unknown alien race is
still undergoing creation, and one of them is destined
to be my lifelong partner. Maybe I really am meant to
be a nun or a missionary to be sent to a place called
Timbuktu. I'll bet Sister Fidela's jaw will drop so
hard I'll have to pick it off the ground for her if
she ever sees me togged up in the distinctive curtain
and batman suit! I mean, who knows?
Acceptance
Well, things have been doing great around
here. I'm totally immersed in my writing and already;
I have created several pieces to be submitted to the
University paper. The best thing about summer vacation
is that I really have the time to do the things I've
always wanted to do during school days, like writing.
Whenever Papa is home, however, it's a different
account. Everything's fast-paced that you hardly even
have time to think about the next thing to be done.
It's hard, you know, having him for a father because
he expects you to do stuff your body cannot even bear
to execute.
Spencer has always been a special part of
my life. Whether or not he really treasured me is
inconsequential. The only thing that matters is that
he made me gloriously happy - deliriously happy, even
for just a split second of my sad life, and that is
what's significant. Knowing him and loving him is one
of the paramount things that ever happened to me. I
was pretty much enraged by what he did to me. If there
is one thing I cannot tolerate in this world, it's
lying, and he lied to me.
Things have been healed between us. I have
forgiven him, yet at the back of my mind he is still
there. Voices still murmur. Visions still preoccupy.
Memories persist to hang on. I know perfectly well
that there will never be another possibility for the
two of us to get back together because he is happy
with her.
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