Choice & Acceptance
<cheskie_bhabe>
Nikki swiftly crossed the road, avoiding the speeding cars while battling the scorching heat of the sun. She's anxious to reach the gate because she knows Peter is waiting for her there. He sent her a message earlier that he'll wait at the gate to bring her to the office. She knows that he's there now, and she doesn't want him to wait long.
She has just reached the entrance and about to go past the guard when her cellphone rang again. The message is clear and simple, but enough to make her shoulders drop. "Sweetheart, I can't pick you up. There's an emergency task and I have to meet the troops. I'll text u later."
She stopped walking, feeling exhausted than before. The task she gave him was so simple. He'll just fetch her at the gate and bring her to her office. Nikki is now in the verge of tears. She felt alone, frustrated and left out, but she knows she has to keep on walking, realizing that she had no choice at all. The 10-minute walk seemed like 10 hours. Damn those missions, damn those meetings, damn his job!
Everyone in the military community says she should get used to it. Her friends are even telling her that she's lucky having him in the camp with her, although they are of different units. They even reiterate that she no longer has to wait day and night for a single message from their husbands or boyfriends in the mountains. She can see him whenever she wants to or whatever time of the week. He can even visit her at night.
Or so they thought.
She was about to reach the last plight of stairs when her phone rang again. It's Peter, asking her if she's mad, telling her he's sorry. Nikki tried to subdue the urge of texting him back and say: "I better not have any boyfriend at all if I can't count on him on times of need." She had to fight back her tears, and gathered all the wits to answer with: "I'm not mad at you sweetheart, I understand you."
The stairs seemed longer, she felt more tired. She deeply sighed.
"Is this is what I get in exchange of being called 'Ma'am' by his underclassmen and troops?"
Her father's voice seemed to echo in her brain. "You're complaining? Why not give him up and choose a civilian instead?"
She's close to sobbing now. She remembers Ted, her civilian hunk whom she dropped for the sake of Peter, the PMAyer. What if she didn't give Ted up? She'll surely have him anytime she wishes to with no pressure from upperclassmen nor mistahs. No emergency missions, no troop meetings, no late nights and early morning phone calls. No dates postponed, no movies or dinners cut short, no urgent messages to attend to.
Why? She doesn't know the answer.
What she knows now is that being a Kaydet Girl is never easy. They have to postpone dates, cut short a movie or a dinner, see each other in the wee hours of the morning as that is the only time he got before jumping off to another mission, talk on the phone very late at night. And they're telling her that she's luckier? They are dead wrong!
Why then does she hang on?
Peter may always appear to be strong, having the air of confidence and command. But deep within him is a human being that also craves for love, patience and understanding. It is not easy for him, and yet he endures everything. Nikki sighed. She has always admired her boyfriend for not every man can do the things he does. Not every man can sacrifice his life, time and happiness for the sake of his homeland. He may not always there for her but his existence has a deeper essence. He has to satisfy a mission that is worth larger than his own being.
She knows now that more than anyone else, she should be his strength. She should be his shelter in the setting of the sun, his comforter at night. There should be a safe home he can come to after every mission, a home with her. And everything that she does and endures, she's doing them for the sake of love, her profound love to her Cavalier.
She can now answer her father. "Yes dad, it's just a matter of choice, and acceptance."
She reached for her cellphone and dialed his number. She has nothing special to say, only a reminder that he should take care, a wish of good luck, a little prayer, and an "I love you." She knows the words are enough to comfort and inspire him. Though strong as they seem, women like her knows their soft spots. They should always know.
|
go back to inbox
barracks : kg 101 : in the mail : k coy : milit@ry : log book
|
