::Opening Essay::

I am Dr. Ovulicious. This is my account of the experimentation’s overseen by Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter starting on a late November evening in 1973. I will start when I found the specimen.

I was driving along the Transylvanian motorway when I spotted a body by the side of the road. I immediately stopped and pulled off to the shoulder of the road. The body appeared to be a man dressed in a Hawaiian shirt. Upon closer examination, I found the shirt was only covering an exotic, uniform like outfit.

The next thing I noticed was the flower pinned to the lapel of the body. It was a large pink blossom, and where the stamen (the male part of the flower) should have been, there was a pixie like creature. I had seen pictures of this flower before. It was a Kisenian from deep space. This flower had destroyed many a civilization, and it was probably the most dangerous plant life out there, though I’m not sure if it could really be classified as a plant. The Kisenian is more of a animal/plant hybrid. What makes the Kisenian so dangerous is that it can use mind control to charm a victim into becoming a host for the flower. So doing this, the flower can then travel down to any planet, via the host body, and reproduce indefinitely, resulting in alien colonization and control of that particular planet.

However, it seemed that along with it's host, the flower was no longer living. Perhaps the atmosphere of Earth was much more than it could bear. All I knew was that the flower was dead, and so was any hopes for it to colonize Earth.

The Kisenian doesn’t play a big part in the experiments I am writing about, but since I knew the Kisenian was not of Earth, I had a good idea that the body wasn’t from Earth either. Later tests proved this, but I am ahead of myself.

So after I inspected both the flower and the body, and determined they were indeed dead, I loaded the body into my hideously olive green Gremlin. I then placed the flower in a plastic bag and put it in my dashboard storage compartment. I took the exit ramp off the motorway and headed for my laboratory.

When I arrived at my underground lab, I put the flower in cryogenic storage and placed the body in the freezer. Then I rung my associate, Professor Crantastic. I explained what had taken place by the side of the road and he suggested I call Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter, our adviser. He was currently in America, working on genetic engineering at his mansion/lab that he shared with his adviser (and the Chief Commander of our organization of Transylvanian Scientists) in Denton,Ohio.

Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter demanded that Prof. Crantastic and myself take the next Transit Beam out of Transylvania to come see him. He said the body could be of use to his genetic works, and the possibility that it wasn’t of this Earth made it excruciatingly tempting to him to do experiments on. In short, Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter wanted to see if he could revive this possibly alien life form.

I knew the body probably wouldn’t make it through the Transit Beam journey, so I encased it in a white outer shell to preserve it. The shell was very strong and would have to be removed with chemical fluids. Then I met up with Prof. Crantastic and we set out for Denton to test Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter’s theory.

When we arrived at the mansion/lab, the annual Transylvanian Convention was going on. We had almost forgotten about the convention, held every year for Transylvanians in America who weren’t going back for a while. It featured many things a hometown Transylvanian party had to offer, and also it was a way for Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter to show off his latest genetic exploits. After most of the guests had left, Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter got down to business.

He showed us to the lab, and I showed him the specimen. Immediately, he put his theory into action. He told us that he wanted us to play “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles on a continuous loop. After the first hour, nothing happened. After the second hour, the body began to stir. At the end of a five or six hour period, the body had been revived, though very frail and with not much energy.

Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter’s theory had worked. The rhythmic beat of the ballad had brought the body back to life. By this time, we had come up with an informal name for the body. We had been calling it “Flamboyant Bob”. I made the name more formal by making it full. I named it “Flamboyant Robert Frank ‘n’ Furter” after my inspirational adviser.

Now we could see the body more clearly, for the shell I had put on it was transparent, but now that the body was animate we could make out the features better. The creature was clearly a man, and had long blue hair. He was definitely part of another race. We decided to place him in acidic Containment Fluid in Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter’s patented Containment Chamber to dissolve the shell and to run tests on him. We couldn’t place Bob in the Chamber until the next day due to minor difficulties. So we ran a day late, and waited for the results of the tests. After that I talked to him.

(The transcript of this conversation is nonexistent, most of what was said appears in my Log)

I also took him out to roam the city with me. On the campus of Ohio State University, we met a man named Mamoru. He was from Europe, but was studying in America. Something clicked between Mamoru and Fiore (during our conversation I had learned that Fiore was Flamboyant Bob’s real name).

When we arrived back at the laboratory, the test results hadn’t come in yet, but they would in the morning. Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter then placed Fiore in Suspended Animation until the next day. At this point I lose track of Prof. Crantastic’s involvement, so when I mention him it will be few and far between.

The next morning, I awoke and went down to the laboratory. Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter was there, looking over the test results.

The first thing was that Fiore wasn’t of this Earth. In our conversation, he had admitted it, but we had to run tests just to make sure he wasn’t just some mentally ill person.

The second thing was that it seemed that Fiore had contracted HIV somehow. Though I challenged that what looked like HIV on paper was probably an alien sickness. I figured this because I thought that a being from another planet wouldn’t be able to contract Earth sicknesses. Also, Fiore had told me about the Tree of Life in our conversation.

(Please refer to my Diabolical Log which contains an explanation of the Tree of Life)

Fiore’s “HIV” was energy drain from not receiving life force from the Tree, but it wasn’t fully the Tree’s fault, no. It was a lot of fault on Fiore’s part because he is responsible for getting energy to the Tree so the Tree could live, thus allowing Fiore to live.

We had removed Fiore from the Suspended Animation Chamber and he was discolored and frail. Upon learning of his sickness, Mamoru (who was now Fiore’s choice life partner) was very supportive and came to visit Fiore often. He sometimes brought a few of his five female friends to see if they could do anything to assist Fiore’s well being.

Usagi Tsukino, who came from a line of royalty from the Moon, had special wands, sceptres, and jewels for healing. Ami Mizuno, who was a genius, tried to come up with valid explanations of the sickness and possible cures. Rei Hino, who was originally from Japan and was a Shinto Shrine Maiden, used her psychic abilities to help heal Fiore. Makoto Kino, who was skilled in the Martial Arts and discipline, tried to assist Fiore in using mind over matter to conquer his ailments. Minako Aino, an outcast but very kind and gentle person, tended to Fiore’s bandages, etc. When all of their attempts failed, everyone got anxious.

Then Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter came up with a plan to help restore Fiore, and we put it into action. We placed Fiore in the Containment Chamber once more (only after Mamoru had departed, of course) but we mixed a special Energy Fluid to restore Fiore’s health. It was late, so we went to sleep, sure that Fiore’s condition would be improved by the morning.

The early morning darkness had not yet yielded to the sunrise when I was awoken by sobs coming from the laboratory.

Mamoru and Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter were in the lab, and Fiore had been removed from the Energy Fluid. He had gained back his prior healthful appearance, like when we had first revived him, but that was the only thing that was healthful about him. He was still frail and weak, barely able to utter word. It was Mamoru who was sobbing, but Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter also wiped a tear from his eye.

I laid Fiore down on a table, and began patting him dry. Then he spoke.

“Mamo-chan,” he said, beckoning Mamoru to his side, “Don’t worry, when I come back I’ll bring lots of flowers.” This was the last thing Fiore said before he died right there on the table.

The statement puzzled Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter and myself, and after the initial grief had gone down a little in Mamoru’s heart, he explained.

“When I met Fiore on the campus the other day, that wasn’t the first time I had met him,” Mamoru revealed. “When I was a little kid, my parents were killed in an automobile crash. I was hospitalized, but knew no-one there,” he paused and cleared his throat, “Then the next day, I heard nurses talking of a little boy they had found out in the rain the night before. He had severe exhaustion, and they placed him in the bed next to mine.

“When he woke up he didn’t know where he was. I told him, and he seemed shocked. I asked why and he told me his life story,” Mamoru looked at me, “You probably know that already, though,” and I nodded.

“Anyway, I was only about nine, so it wasn’t hard for me to believe this,” Mamoru continued, “When it came time for him to return to his own planet, I was devastated. Right before he left, we met on the roof of the building,” his eyes became watery, but he went on. “I had brought a rose with me, and gave it to him. He seemed very touched and made a promise to me. He said, ‘When I return, I’ll bring lots of flowers’.

“I took that to mean that the next time I would meet him, I would know him by a flower he would bring to me. But I didn’t need a flower to recognize him when I saw him with Dr. Ovulicious the other day. He told me when we were alone that he had come to Earth with a flower. He said he must have lost it but was sure it was pinned to his lapel when he "died" that first time.

“He explained the nature of the flower, but said he had found a way to cultivate the species so it didn’t to feed on any energy other than the sun. He had a whole garden of these flowers on an asteroid that is orbiting the Earth, and he planned for these flowers to release seeds once the asteroid got close enough to Earth and grow for my pleasure. He had brought the sample with him so I could see just what would be coming to Earth. I believe his Life Tree was also on the asteroid, and once it had lost all of it’s energy, it may have started feeding on the flowers. That’s why they weren’t released to Earth at all.” Mamoru stopped.

“The Kisenian!” I cried, and realized I had brought the flower with me. I rushed to Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter’s Cryogenic Storage Unit and removed the flower. I handed it to Mamoru. He began sobbing again. After a while he left, with the flower.

Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter turned to me. “We have failed our mission. Our Commanding Chief has surely learned about this. Tomorrow, we are supposed to return to Transylvania to further our work. I think he is readying the Transit Beam for departure today. Himself and his second in command, Magenta, will leave. But he will strand us here.” Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter stopped, looking very grave.

“He’ll make sure of our demise before leaving,” I said, almost sickly. “Just to be sure we can’t return to Transylvania. A punishment to us and a lesson to anyone else who thinks about failing as badly as us.”

Our Commander in Chief did strand us in America, and he did try to get rid of Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter and myself. He succeeded in doing so to my associate, Prof. Crantastic, though. Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter and I prevailed, but it hardly meant anything since we can’t return to Transylvania.

This account is being forwarded to the Head of Naturalization/Immigration/Deportation in Transylvania, and hopefully she will fix it so we can go back home.

::Four Day Journal::

Day 1
13th November, 1973

On the first day of our experiment, 13th November, 1973, I, Dr. Ovulicious, found a body by the side of the road. The supposed corpse donned a Hawaiian shirt. To make a long story short, I loaded the body into my car and when I arrived at my laboratory I rung my associate, Professor Crantastic, up. He suggested we notify our advisor, Dr. Frank ’n’ Furter, who was currently in America, working in his Denton, Ohio mansion/lab. I called Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter and he commanded myself and Prof. Crantastic come to Denton on the next Transit Beam out of Transylvania.

(Details of Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter’s lab and details in general appear on the essay that is respective to this log and is enclosed in this whole journal).

We arrived at Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter’s mansion promptly. Under his guidance, we played “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles on a continuous loop. After an hour or so, the body began to stir. At the end of a five hour period, we had revived the body, which we had begun to call “Flamboyant Bob”. Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter’s theory had worked, the rhythmic beat of the ballad had awoken the previously inanimate body.

I placed the body in Dr. Frank ‘n’ Furter’s patented Containment Chamber. We filled the chamber with brown acidic Containment Fluid. We were determined to run tests on the creature to find out exactly what kind of life form it was.

I named the creature “Flamboyant Robert Frank ‘n’ Furter” (the latter name a tribute to our inspiring advisor). Before we had placed Bob in the Containment Chamber and Fluid, he weighed 84 grams. His width was 14 cm and his length was 16.5 cm. Now he seems to be surrounded with a bubbly mist which I can only guess is eating away at his protective outer shell I placed him in for the journey to Denton.

My hypothesis for his being on day two is that he will be freed of his shell and will absorb some of the fluid.


Day 2
15th January, 1973

My advisor, associate and myself have been delayed one day of transferring Flamboyant Bob to the Suspended Animation Chamber for further study. After removing him from the Containment Chamber and Fluid, I have observed the following things.

Bob is bloated and is a gray-brown color. He weighs 111 grams. He is 15.5 cm wide by 17 cm long. After running various tests on him, we have concluded Bob is HIV positive. Since hearing the news, Mamoru (Bob’s life partner) has been extremely supportive and sensitive.

Later The Same Day:

More tests confirmed that Flamboyant Bob is not of this Earth. His real name is Fiore and he is of the Makaiju race. The Makaiju are beings that are human like in appearance, except for their often strange colored hair and pointed ears. Most Makaiju who come to Earth can easily mask their differences. When I found Fiore (we have resolved to call Bob by his real name) by the side of the road, he was in a state where he couldn’t have possibly masked himself, for he was dead.

The Makaiju people are also different from humans in the respect that they don’t get their life energy from food, they get it from other living things. They are birthed from a tree called The Tree of Life. If the tree dies, they die. The process to feed themselves starts with the tree.

Firstly, they steal energy from animals. Then they give the energy to their tree. Then the tree distributes the energy that the Makaiju need. The tree isn’t a plant by definition, but it so closely resembles one by appearance. I suspect that Fiore is still bound to his tree, for he seems frailer every time I see him.

It now does not seem possible that he contracted HIV, and I am beginning to question if what shows up as HIV on Earth tests may really be the Makaiju life force diminishing. I think this because in theory, his “antibodies” (I don’t know if Makaiju have antibodies or a more sophisticated way of dealing with invading virus’/bacteria) could be depleting from lack of energy, as other cells could well be depleting too, thus making him drained and frail.

My hypothesis for his condition after we remove him from the Suspended Animation Chamber is that he will have decreased in size by at least a centimeter on both dimensions. His weight will go down by about 10 grams, if not more.


Day 3
16th November, 1973

We have removed Fiore from the Suspended Animation Chamber. He is now transparent in places and deflated. He absorbed the sugar in the Suspended Animation Chamber. He weighs 74 grams. He is 13 cm wide and 16 cm long. He is sticky and even more discolored than before. We are readying the Energy Giving Chamber in hopes that we can revive Fiore completely.


Day 4
17th November, 1973

Fiore is engulfed with energy water from the Energy Giving Chamber and is a blue color. After taking him out of the Energy Giving Chamber, I found his condition quite bad. Although he absorbed energy from the Chamber, it seems that his tree has died. That is the only explanation I can come up with for his corpse like state.
Fiore now weighs 111 grams and is 15.5 cm wide by 17 cm long.

Oh no, this is surely one of the saddest days in my career. Just a moment ago, as I was patting Fiore dry, he imploded. I do not know what caused it, but he might have been so weak that I induced the implosion. After cleaning up his remains, I gave him a proper burial. I dumped him in the magical plastic hole of refuse that empties itself every morning. He would have wanted it.

Now our biggest concern is getting deported back to Transylvania. Actually, we want to go back, but we fear our Commander Riff Raff (who lives in the Mansion as well) will only prepare the Transit Beam for himself, his sister Magenta (who is 2nd in charge), and not us. We have failed our mission in reviving life and he will surely punish us.


Through all of the experiments, we have discovered something called “Osmosis”. Here is how we define osmosis.

Osmosis: The process where water moves from a greater concentration to a lesser concentration.
This occurs because the liquid is trying to spread itself out and distribute itself equally in a container.
Photosynthesis: Nutrients + Water + Carbon Dioxide in the presence of Sunlight and Chlorophyll = Sugar stored as Starch >> the waste product is Oxygen.







The race name “Makaiju”, when translated, roughly means this:
Ma= Evil/Magic; Kai= World/Land; Ju= Tree.