1996
6 kills
** Blackie Woo noted that the first kill was a "crap kill."
First Kill - 16 minutes
We have a first here, at the SSMS. This movie was so bad that no one wanted to type a review. We watched this movie 5 months ago, so no one really remembers all of the details. But we all agree that they were very stupid details. Basically, I am responsible for picking this movie, so I must now waste valuable minutes of my life to tell you about it.
We had a bad night that night. To use a baseball analogy, this was our lead-off hitter and it failed miserably to get on base. (It was followed by Savage Weekend, which struck out in 3 pitches. Silent Night, Deadly Night 5 reached base on an error, giving us hope! But then Sleepy Hollow High, our clean-up hitter, struck out, completing our worst attempt at a Stupid Scary Movie Night.)
You'll really never understand how stupid this movie is. Basically, you have a crazy woman who breaks out of some insane asylum to go find her daughter or something. Sounds simple, right? Yeah, well, there's some weird little sub-plot happening with some guy and some other chick and I never did understand who the hell those people were! But lo and behold, every now and then, our little soap opera would be interrupted so that the Mommy could put an ice skate through someone's forehead.
Overall, it was like a bad rip-off of the Stepfather movies, although I can't imagine anyone wanting to rip those off. Give me 20 kids at a camp and a pyscho counselor or deranged killer lurking in the woods. That's all I ask for! Just change the names and the actors. When will directors realize that this "plot" stuff is so overrated?
-- Coolio
Because I have not seen Mommy I (and at this point I am unsure if that is a good thing or a bad thing) I am unable to compare it to Mommy II. You may be wondering why a new review has been put up for this movie. Well, the first one (Coolio's) left out major details, but it is totally irrelevant right now.
The movie begins with a woman who has gone crazy, killed some people and is now about to receive a lethal injection. As we see her strapped down, she begs the doctor and security guard to let her arms go free (in a room with lethal weapons) and to let her pray. Next scene, we see the guard lying dead and the doctor taken hostage by the woman. The next part is a bit of a blur. All I remember is that although she has now killed yet another person, they realize that they don't need to kill her; they just need to put an implant in her arm to keep her from killing.
From this point on, I can describe the movie with two words: high heels. The Mommy can't converse with her daughter, so she spies on her and tries to watch her at an ice-skating rink. The skating teacher keeps her from doing so while she wildly proclaims that that young girl is her "Daughter!! (echo...) daughter... daughter... daughter..." It is obvious that he will be the next to be killed.
That night, we see someone walk onto the ice, but all we know is that they're wearing high heels. The instructor is killed. The rest of the movie is the same, except for the methods of killing. I won't tell you the end in hopes that you will be so intrigued by this review that you will rent the movie and go through the same torture I did.
-- Hex Girl
A third review for the Mommy 2? Yes, I am a poet and do not quite understand
that I am! The other reviews are too harsh, so I'm taking away from my
valuable unemployed time to address their foolishnessness.
The Mommy 2 is a very good stupid scary movie! The whole film is shot like some poor local government video, almost as though the director ran (or drove, I'm not familiar with his modes of transportation) to Goodwill to pick up a Super8 camcorder to shoot the thing. It doesn't have that movie look any movie with a budget would have, which is part of Mommy 2's charm. The cast looks like local government officials -- I swear I saw Lynn Dean, Hugh Craft, and others -- and other local celebrities like our own Blackie Woo and Kat Killing Kannible turn up at the mommy's daughter's school as well. The acting is laughable bad, and it and the dialogue make it fun to watch. For example, one guy runs in, sees a dead body, exclaims a "Whoa!" to do Blossom's brother Joey proud, and runs away as if on ice while flailing his arms. Whatever happened to Joey or Blossom anyway? Remember Six? Didn't she die of AIDS or something? Blossom -- A Very Special Killing would make a neat Stupid Scary Movie, but I digress. Anyway, the plot is beyond stupid, which is always a plus.
How bad is it? I can answer that, since I asked the question! It's very bad! They don't even have a budget to do a proper nude shower scene! It's great, cause one of the killers gently lobs a boombox into the shower, and the woman catches it so as to perfectly cover her breasts and keeps them covered as she slides down dead. It's like those TV-edits you see on syndication but much worse. At least on TV you're guaranteed a decent looking actress, unless it's some 80's movie with poodle women.
If you noticed I said "one of the killers," then you've probably read the third paragraph. Yes, the plot involves a murder mystery, and the mommy has competition. It's all very confusing, and the movie is more mystery than murder. Mommy gets an arm implant (can't even get the implants right) to make her not kill. I guess breast implants make people want to kill, so if you see a girl with large breasts, watch out! Yet despite all this, kills still occur and cast of extras think it's her, but it's really some mommy imposter. Everyone wants to be a mommy it seems. I guess since just don't have enough a budget for sex, so the wanna be mommy can't become one through conventional means. Because of this mystery part, the movie's kills aren't that impressive, but some are so cheesy you'll mostly overlook that.
The Mommy 2 is a fun movie. You'll not trust your mother after seeing this, but then I already don't, so perhaps that's not really the movie's fault. It could have been really something if they had a couple of bucks to spend on fake blood to have some better kills, but as it is it's a very good stupid scary movie -- with the emphasis on stupid.
-- Dad's Sticky Axe
Blackie Woo -- I don't like Lifetime, much less Lifetime horror movies.
Rev. Blood -- what?????? what was this movie????? it looked like it was filmed by me and my friends on a video camera while we were drunk off of soy sauce or something. all i remmeber was that it was a cross between some kind of talk show and a tori spelling movie. weird? yeah. now if ANGELA was the mommy...... lookout! that'd be a movie!
Goat Gore
