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CLASSIFIEDS
1.
British Battenburg Cakes!
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Beverly's Tasty Cakes; Salisbury, NB
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Oh My! Have we some delicious cakes cooked up for you! My Favourite all time Tea companion - Battenburg Cake! Marzipan on the outside, pink and yellow sponge squares on the inside! Drool you fool! you won't be able to stop! Forget the crap that Sobey's and Tim Horton's make. Buy my Battenburgs Cakes Today! Call Bev, 555-8981
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2.
Chocolate Nutty Brownie Blowout!
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Beverly's Tasty Cakes; Salisbury, NB
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Got a soft spot for Choccy and nuts? Then try my new Choccy Nuts Brownie Bonanza! With my recipe and your taste buds were onto a winner, especially after dinner! Beats the light spongy sugar soaked sh*t that most major superstore chains serve up! Call Bev, 555-8981
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3.
Pork Pies! Buy One Get Another!
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Porky Pig's Marvelous Meats; Moncton, NB
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Pork Pies. Plenty of 'em. Nice freshly pulped Pork, moulded into your favourite Pie Crust. Served hot or cold. With or without the jelly. MMMM! I can hear you coming back for more of my meat! Call 555-6328 Now! Buy one! Buy Another!!!
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4.
Deep Fried Chicken Heads! Ten Piece Bucket Special!
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Porky Pig's Marvelous Meats; Moncton, NB
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This week, for one week only we are giving away ten crisp, golden, deep fried, battered, seasoned Chicken heads for just $5.99! That's right! $5.99! Come on down and chow on these crispy, crunchy chicks today!!! Remember, our Ten-piece bucket meal is only available for this week only folks. Go on! Give the kids a treat!
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5.'
Krispy Krap Is Back! Popular Chocolate Bars in Bulk Buy Bonanza!
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Jack Crapper's Kandy; Amherst, NS
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Jack Crapper's favourite Chocolate flavoured Krap is back! That's right - Crispy Krap! Runny on the inside, crispy on the outside. Jack's famous receipe that millions of Canadians loved as baby boomers is back for their grand-children to enjoy! Forget the Papa Burger, forget Chris and Larry's Grandma's oh-so-secret recipe! Crispy Krap is the real crack! Order yours today! Call 555-CRAP
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6.
Got Your Bud Yet?
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Malky's Mind-blowing Medicine;
Renous Highway, NB
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Winter can be a real bummer. So can claiming unemployment! I have the solution to your problem friend. Bud. Lots and lots of Bud. Tasty too! Takes the pain out of everyday turmoil and needless nonsense. Come on brother, cross over to the light side! Call 555-BUDS
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7.
Three Thimble Thset Thilver Plated!
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Murgatroid Miggins;
Lower Coverdale, NB
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Hello dears. I have a lovely antique thet of thilver plated thimbles to thsell. One previous owner. Very well looked after. Asking $30,000.00 OBO. Call 555-7832
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8.
Superb, Previously used disposable diaper!
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Trailer Park Pete's Real Deals;
Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
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Run out of Diapers? Buy the cheapest in town right here! Yep! Fully used, fully disposable! Just wipe clean and re-use. Buy a bag of fifty from me at $4.99, fresh from my backyard. I have ten new born babies right now so I am going to be selling quite a few over the winter months! Call 555-3425
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9.
Beautiful Little Prairie Shack. First Time Buyers. Must See!
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Prime Realty;
Minto, NB
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Leaky two room shack. Gas stove, tin bath and boiler thrown in. Only twenty miles from the nearest convenience store. Perfect for first time buyers looking for a little rustic, rural retreat. slight structural damage. Asking $995,000.00 Call 555-3423 for a personal tour.
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10.
Wooded Pioneer home. Excellent shape!
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Country Cottages;
St. Stephen, NB
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Superbly kept Pioneer style home. This three story cottage is located in a wooded glade just north of St. Stephen. US enquiries only please. No running water, no electricity. Built in outhouse included. Asking $6 million. OBO. Call 555-HOME
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11.
Dilapidated Farm House Perfect fixer-upper!
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Run-down Liveables;
Sydney, NS
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This slightly weather damaged farm house situated on top of the notorious Sydney Tarponds is a real steal! Six bedrooms, two bathrooms, four kitchens and a cow shed. Perfect family home. Needs new roof, walls, doors, windows, ceilings etc. Buy it today, buy it right away! Cheap at $495,000.00 Plus we'll throw in one acre of toxic landfill absolutly free! Call 555-3452
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12.
Super Tractor Sale!
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Darryl's Farm Supplies;
Turtle Creek, NB
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Starting a business? Need a tractor for ploughing, snow removal or joy-riding? Well go no further! Here's a perfect little number right here. A 1983 Massey-Ferguson. Perfect working order. Needs to be righted. My nephew crashed it last week while towing a stray bull. Offers - Call 555-2365
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13.
Yard Sale! 456 St. Jonquiere St. Dieppe, NB
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Mr & Mrs Crotte;
Dieppe, NB
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This Sunday come and visit us at our home. We have the perfect items for you to buy. Our freshly stolen modern items will be just what you want. Save your money. We did!
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14.
All Your Advertisment Needs Right Here.
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Class A Signs & Designs;
Moncton, NB
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Want your very own personal sign? We'll do it! Its a sign! Buy our signature sign collection today! Sign your life away. Its the sign of the times. A plus Signs & Designs. Call 555-SIGN
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Greater Moncton Cavalier is not suitable for minors
© Copyright 2002-2004 Naughty Nigel Productions & Swordfish Designs
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