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PERSONALS
1.
Lip Service Anyone?
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Hotlips;
Moncton, NB
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Big lipped bi-sexual babe with a bachelors in Lip-O-Suction looking to excite and entertain open minded individuals willing to give these lips a run for their money. Wanna see my miracles in action? Give me a ding-a-ling at 555-LIPS You won't be disappointed
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2.
Sweep Me Off My Feet.
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Jim;
Riverview, NB
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Wanna play dress up? I am a thirty-something gay guy who enjoys a fast paced environment. I love posing as a cute little ballerina on Sundays after Church. Think you can be my swan? Call Jim, 555-8907
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3.
Convenience Store Girl Seeks Cheap Thrills!
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Abigale;
Quispamsis, NB
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Local Corner Store employee seeks male 20-30 for fun behind the counter after hours. If you play fair with me I'll treat you to free Pop and Potato Chips! Call 555-8943
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4.
Are You Into Hairy Circus Freaks?
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Jack Frost;
Truro, NS
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I'm an albino 5ft midget with long white hair, seeking a girl to really get it on with! As a circus entertainer I can eat fire, juggle knives and blow chunks of cod out of my ass. Call now 555-8975
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5.
Near Sighted Nympho!
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Su Lin; Halifax, NS
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Guys, gals, pets you name it I'm into it. I am looking to settle down as my eyes are starting to drive me crazy. I can't see so well these days and can never tell who or what I'm having relationships with. Are you honest and beautiful and think you can fulfill me? Call 555-5678
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6.
Cone headed CBC Employee Looking for Intelligent People.
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Rex; Mississauga, ON
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Hello. Rex here. A little disgruntled, a little bit disappointed but, nonetheless ready to take your call! For you to get on my show you have to be able to speak coherantly and agree with everything I say otherwise stay of the line. Do we have a caller? 1800-REX 555-8880
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7.
Dominant Sales Rep
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Tabitha; Toronto, ON
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I'm a 32 year old Corporate Sales Manager. Into expensive clothes, fast cars and fine wine. I enjoy the odd cigarette. Like most of the people here in these personals actually. Except I'm in control! Do you like being told what to do? Then call 555-4532 and I'll really show you!
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8.
Acne Ravaged Teen.
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Reg; Springhill, Nova Scotia
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Hey girls! Do you like pock-faced, acne ravaged skinny teens with goaties? I know there are plenty of you out there that do because all my friends at college have girlfriends. Wanna burst a couple of my blackheads or maybe squeeze some puss with me? Call 555-8905
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9.
Horse Faced University Grad
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Ginette; Dieppe, NB
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Hey, how are you? My name is Ginette Binette. I am doing a degree in business at the UDM.
If you want to drink a coffee somewhere or maybe go to a wine bar and shoot the shit maybe we can have fun eh? Nothing too expensive I am a poor student you know, Life is hard, oh my ad is full, I have no more...
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10.
Spliff-headed Francophone Boy Racer Geek
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Justin; St. Hilaire Du Tabernacle, QUE
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Bonjour mes amis! Justin ici. I have fast car. I burn the shit out of it everynight in the parc industriel. Have a spliff, take a spin, you know. Fast times in my Purple Honda Civic! Looking for Girl to bang in the back seat man! You like Quebec boys? Call 555-TWAT
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11.
Acadian Hippie Lesbian Lover
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Nicole; Shediac, NB
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Hey! I am into cooking, charity work, playing musical instruments, environmental protection, herbal remedies and butch middle age francophone lesbians. Vive L'Acadie! Call 555-7843
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12.
Boring Old Fart
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Lorne; Moncton, NB
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Sex starved, retired businessman. Looking for something other than attending amateur councillor meetings on Mondays and ripping off the community with pointless money wasting schemes. Yes, I'm n old fart grossly out of step with todays needs. But hey give me a break. Any sexy young beauty technicians want to make an old man happy??? Call 3456-MAYOR
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13.
SWF Seeking SW or SB Male
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Rachel;
Somewhere out there, NB
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Gay or Straight! Heck I can't tell the difference. Look at me I take cigarettes up the nose! So, if you like dippy, stupid women who eat grilled socks for breakfast, but look totally attractive then call me right now! I'll even insert some chopsticks up my nose and eat noodles right infront of you! Call 555-3423
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14.
Retired Boxer
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Larry;
Charlo, NB
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Babes, I'm Larry. Six foot-six, built like a brick outhouse and hung like an elephant. I need a good girl who can take care of me. I'm a little bit unstable, prone to domestic violence and an aggresive uncontrollabe anger! Think you are the girl for me? Call 555-RAGE
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Greater Moncton Cavalier is not suitable for minors
© Copyright 2002-2004 Naughty Nigel Productions & Swordfish Designs
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