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ENTERTAINMENT
CELEBRITY NEWS
Who Will Be Plumps Celebrity Apprentice?
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Billionaire Plump With His Celebrity Finalists.
New York, NY - Who will be Ronald Plumps Celebrity Apprentice? All eyes will be on the final two as they thrash it out in the boardroom.
Waif-like actress Tara-Lynn Boil and teenage bulimic celebrity tycoon Mary-Mindy Molsen will have to push their wit and wisdom to the limit if they want to get into The Plumps bustling business empire.
"These girls are incredibly good at what they do. They wouldn't be here if it was not true!" Ronald explained. "They're both level headed, highly motivated compassionate individuals. However, I do think that their lack of body weight is going to hurt them further down the road. In this business if you can't pick up a fork you are going to find it tough!"
In the finale, which airs next Thursday the girls have to open and run their own Burger joint on Manhattan’s lower east-side. The winner will be determined on how many fast food products they can devour - without throwing up!
Get to it girls!
Lost Spin Off Becomes A Lot More Loster
The Cast Of A Lot More Loster. More Lost Than Ever Before!
With the massive success of ABC's 'Lost' TV executives have launched a spin-off series called 'A lot more Loster'.
The premise for this 8 part planned series focuses on four ordinary Americans from Millinocket, Maine who wake up one day to find themselves in an abandoned Canadian Forces base on Baffin Island. Only they don't know where they are, and nobody knows they are there!
"I think this show is going to be huge!" A TV exec said. "I mean if nobody knows they're lost what hope is there of finding them? These guys are extremely lost! At least in 'Lost' everyone knows they're lost and there are a lot more people that are lost with them!"
The show plans to air this spring.
Bob Barker Slips On Cheese, Breaks Microphone
An Angry Bob Barker Pictured Shortly After Falling On Top Of His Microphone
Hollywood, CA -
(AP). Octogenarian game-show host Bob Barker was left speechless after he unintentionally broke his beloved microphone.
During a recording of 'This
Price Is Not Right!' Bob stepped backwards briefly to spin the wheel and toppled over what looked like a piece of cheddar. He fell on top of his Microphone snapping it in
two.
'Betty' the nickname given to Bob's Microphone was rushed off for repairs leaving Bob wondering what to do next.
TV execs report that Bob refuses to
work until 'Betty' has been fixed. "It could take two weeks or more". Claimed a source close to the show.
OBITUARIES
New Brunswick's Best Loved TV Cook Granny Gussett Has Died.
Culinary Maestro Granny Gussett Proudly Showing Off A Dish Of 'Vegetable Chins'.
Lime Creek, NB (AP) - Morag Gaynor Gussett, loved by many Canadians for her flare for fine cooking died last week in a bus shelter while waiting for a ride home. She was 86.
Best known for her TV show 'Granny Gussetts Gastronomical Gourmet' she entertained many with an eye opening array of weird and wonderful recipes.
Gussett often drew on her own creative flare and was never afraid to try new things. Some of her more memorable dishes included 'Sheep Shit Dip', Sweet And Sour Satsuma Surprise', 'Cold Bladder Sandwiches' and her all time favourite 'Vegetable Chins'
Ms Gussett who never married also wrote a food encyclopedia entitled "Gussett's Gastronomy'. She will be missed dearly.
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LOCAL ENTERTAINMENT
Seamus Shadrack's Entertainment Round-up
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Greetings artists, thespians and culture lovers. Seamus here with all the latest happenings in New Brunswick's thriving world of the arts, entertainment and lifestyle.
MUSIC
Charlie Perkins and his Toupee Orchestra will be combing their hairpieces this Friday at the
Staten Island Club. Charlie and his Toupee wearing orchestra will be hammering out a variety of musical delights with the help of their trusty washboards and stainless steel
pudding spoons. Doors open at 8pm and tickets are priced $15.00.
Neena Nipelles, the eighties pop sensation who shot to fame in 1983 with the
hit 'Give Me Back My Teddy Bear' will be wowing fans later this month at the Capitol Theatre. This will be the first date on her hugely successful 4-date, sell-out North
American comeback tour. Tickets are $99.99 at all advertised locations.
THEATRE
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Fredette Briquet - Star of 'The Brittle Peanut' Giving Us A Little Taster Of What's To Come.
This Friday the amateur dramatics club of Dieppe will be putting on a rendition of Manon Bourgeois play 'The Brittle Peanut' at the Ste Miriam Le Serpent School right here in Dieppe.
The play, set in a small Acadian fishing village follows the struggles of Huguette. A single mother of ten who tries in vain to divide her time between making Peanut Brittle and raising her children.
Doors open at 7pm. Tickets are priced at $10.00. Donations for the Single Teenage Mothers of Moncton charity (STMM) will be gladly accepted.
ICE SPECTACULAR
This year Moncton pays host to Canada's famed 'Festival Of Skates'. Some of Canada's finest skaters will be performing during this two-day
event
Saskatchewan native 'Ken Kettle and his Fire Eating Leprechauns' will undoubtedly be wowing audiences with their fiery aerial displays. Let’s not forget that
'The Quebec Tailpipe Torpedo's', famous for blasting their skaters from canon's will also be thrilling the crowds with their death defying stunts.
Closing the show will
be none other than Newfoundland’s very own Doreen Proctor who will be performing her famous 'Glass Blowing On Ice' routine.
Expect her to blowing some fancy looking bottles and light bulbs as she speed-skates round the arena!
COLLECTORS CORNER
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Mold. Bob Melanson holding a mold covered Strawberry. Just one of many moldy items in his collection.
Collecting mold can be extremely dangerous and hazardous to your health, but it can also be a joy and will undoubtedly grow on you. Just ask Bob Melanson -
Owner of the largest collection of mold in Eastern Canada.
"For sure mold is dangerous, but what's a little danger now and then? I started collecting mold in
my house because I found it fascinating. It takes time to cultivate the right types of mold".
Currently Bob has shower mold, attic mold, window mold, Bathroom wall mold, double tree mould and the extremely hard to find - Canadian mold.
"That's a rare one" Bob grins pointing to his bedroom ceiling. "It forms the shape of a maple
leaf and turns red".
Bob hopes he can cross-breed his mold collection and sell it for a buck or two in the near future. Keep up the good work Bob!
Trevor The Lemon's Tips For Stupid Folk
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MINIMISE the chance of stepping in doggy pavement deposits when it's too dark to see by taking full length
strides with every pace.
RAPPERS. Avoid having to say 'know what I'm sayin' all the time by actually speaking clearly the first time round.
NERVOUS people. Never chew the inside of your cheeks whilst on high strength prescription painkillers.
HOME DECORATORS. Use a roller in each hand and halve your painting time.
MOVIE goers. Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by taking a piss before the movie starts.
SMOKERS. 'Every cigarette you smoke takes 10 seconds off your life', health experts say. To combat this, at the end of every day work out how many seconds you have 'lost', and simply go to bed that much later, or wake up that much earlier the next morning. Hey presto! your lost time is returned.
Until next time dudes...
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