Here is my ever-growing collection of some of the best clean animal jokes that I've come across. To the best of my knowledge these are just jokes and not based on actual facts; so please do not be offended if you have fallen victim to any similar circumstances. At any rate, feel free to send me any jokes that you may have, and I'll post them here as well.

Click Below for a Printable Version of a Joke: Back to Home Page Back to Main Jokes Page Got Any Crackers The Panda The Burglar Donkeys Will Kill You The Parrot The Kangaroo Kittens Dangerous Dog Peanuts A Dog's Duty Back to Main Jokes Page Back to Main Page

Home The Kangaroo      A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo.      A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!" Kittens      A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens." "How did you know that?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom." Dangerous Dog      Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"      "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"      "Because", the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him." Peanuts      Three mischievous boys went to the zoo on a school outing. They decided to visit the elephant cage, but soon enough, they were picked up by a zoo cop for causing a big commotion. The officer hauled them off to security for questioning. The supervisor in charge asked them to give their names and tell what they were doing at the elephant compound.      The first boy innocently said, "My name's Gary, and I was just throwing peanuts into the elephant cage." The second added, "My name's Larry, and all I was doing was throwing peanuts into the elephant cage."      The third boy was looking a little pale and said, "Well, my name's Peter.... but my friends call me Peanuts." A Dog's Duty      A nursery school teacher was taking a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog's duties.      "They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. "No," said another, "he's just for good luck."      A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."   Home