Here is my ever-growing collection of some of the best clean political jokes that I've come across. If you are a politician, please try not to be too offended; and remember, it's just words... unless they're true. At any rate, feel free to send me any jokes that you may have, and I'll post them here as well.

Click Below for a Printable Version of a Joke: Back to Home Page Back to Main Jokes Page What Should I Do? Tragedy Air Force One Baseball Game Hillary's Hometown Abortion Bill Trade Back to Main Jokes Page Back to Main Page

Home What Should I Do?      Bill Clinton went jogging one morning and came upon the Washington Monument. He said, "George, what should I do?" After a few seconds, George replied, "Abolish the IRS and start over."      Bill thought about this for a few seconds and contined jogging. Shortly he came upon the Jefferson Memorial and stopped. He said, "Tom, what should I do?" After a few seconds Tom replied, "Abolish welfare and start over."      Bill continued jogging after thinking about this and came upon the Lincon Memorial. He said, "Abe, what should I do?" After a few seconds, Abe replied, "Why don't you take the night off and go to the theater?" Tragedy      Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy."      "No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT." A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside... that would be a tragedy."      "I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS." The room is silent; none of the other children dare to volunteer. "What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton was blown up by a bomb, that would be a tragedy."      "Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly wouldn't be a great loss!" Air Force One      Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."      Al shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make ten people very happy."      Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy.      At this point, the pilot of the plane turns around, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy." Baseball Game      Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. The umpire walks up to the VIP section and yells something. Suddenly Bill grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side onto the field. The stunned umpire shouts, "No, Mr. President! I SAID, 'Throw the first PITCH!'" Hillary's Hometown      Bill and Hillary are out driving in the country near Hillary's hometown. They are low on fuel, so Bill pulls into a gas station for a fill-up. The attendant comes out and begins to pump gas into the first couple's tank. As he is doing this, he looks into the passenger window.      "Hey, Hillary. We used to date in high school, do you remember me?" he asks. They chat for a few minutes, Bill pays and the first couple leaves.      As they drive Bill is feeling very proud of himself and looks over at Hillary. "You used to date that guy? Just think what it would be like if you had married him," he says smugly.      Hillary looks at Bill and shrugs. Then she replies, "Well I guess you'd be pumping gas and he would be the President."   Home