The Man Behind The Mask
Recently being thrown out of his trailer by his girlfriend for cheating on her with the local jackalope (jackrabbit with antlers), the guy has been found passed out outside of Geoff’s Tavern with a urine stain on his pants. The Guy (on the rare occasion when he is not drunk) has been spotted sitting on his porch, trying to get drunk (beer in hand), staring at the highway in front of him, and every so often glancing at the open field behind him saying “What’s wrong here?” His previous haircuts include the “Buckwheat Cut”, the “Mullet Cut” and the “Panther Power” Cut (he is a former Black Panter, he had a small roll in Forrest Gump. He was the only white guy in the panters, he hit Jenny). His favorite foods include Dunkin’ Donuts, Veal, Shrimp Gumbo and a hefty plate of Shock Tarts. His favorite drinks include any type of hard liquor (preferably Malt) but when nothing else is available, Budweiser (he once told me the Budweiser Horses were his Dream Date). And when he is drunk, he also likes to use pickup lines like “Is my name Gillette? Cuz you’re the best a man can get” on the bar tender. |
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