In a public place:
Please, if you ever encounter this animal in your town, immediately call Animal Control, they were trained for this sort of thing, and they know how to handle it right. However, if you cannot reach animal control, please, do not try to touch him. He has been known in the past to bite. Immediately grab the hardest thing you can, back behind a mailbox or bush or street corner and monitor him, if you are seen, YOU WILL be attacked. If you are attacked, swing fiercely at him with whatever objects you can. The only KNOWN ways of killing him are by using Silver tip bullets, driving a wooden steak through his heart, or Advil. When he is not drunk, he is not hostile. If he is not drunk, and you still spot him, throw a quarter at him or something. He will either smile back at you, or he will continue to sleep. Finally, do not allow him into your home for a shower. No matter how much his pungent smell rips through the air, do not allow him into your home. People who have done such have had him throw lamp fixtures and desks at them, among other things. If this happens, which it shouldn’t, we recommend you use your supply of tranquilizer darts that you were given when you moved into his town.