Liena Baker's Dout Stories

Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!

Liena Baker's Dout Stories




The
Dout
Stories,
featuring
Poya
de
Poulet
Baker.











Picture of
Poya by
Peter Savage



* back to
first story

* Steve
Savage's
Home Page


1. Tumpick to eatid

2. Dem monterd
3. The New Tocial Order

4. The Big Aggrettive Doggata
6. Never in all it
 life
10. A running kick at me
11.
 Girlid id girlid
12. A little bit of learning

13. The story of Nobody, nobody, nobody
14.
 The tory of Tometimed, but only tometimed
15. 'Queer,
 ain't dey?'
17. A little pair of tkated.
18. Dem pampered flydid
22. 'Good mornink,
 Antie!'
26. Pittoired
28. Pitta-paata
29. Not very well in metelf
30. Dem Wellington bootid

31. Unc'd tpetimen
33. Liedid

34. Pucked lunch
35. Tnow white










 
2. Dem monterd
'Oh Antie,' 'e taid, 'do come out,
 Ant!'
   'I ain't a-going to come out,'
 I taid, 'and that'd flat!'
   'Oh Ant, do come out! Dem big
 black monterd coming acrort dem field!'
   'Go on wid you: I
 ain't a coming out!' I taid.
   'Oh Antie,' 'e taid, 'dem
 eormut black monterd coming acrort dem field wid big round pennied tuck on the
 top of dem nodid! Come out, Ant, do!'


 
3. The New Tocial Order
'Antie,' 'e taid.

   I taid, 'What id it?'
   'Antie, youma
 day'd ober,' 'e taid.
   'How do you figure dat one out, eh?'
 I taid.
   'Well, I did hear tell, Ant, dat the New Tocial
 Order id coming.'
   I taid, 'I'll give you tuch a kick in
 your tocial pantd, you won't be able to tit down thit tide of Chritmut!'


 
4. The Big Aggrettive Doggata
One day, all dem commat
 doggatud from Evan'd Lane were titting in a tircle, and when dey taw Poya Pool,
 dey taid, 'Hi! What id your name?'
   And 'e taid, 'I'm Poya
 de Poulet Baker, and I live with the gentry around the corner.'

   'Dat'd a good one!' dey taid. 'Weema heard your Ant yell
 out of the gate, "Coom 'ere, Pool!"'
   'My word,' 'e taid,
 'youma are an ignorant lot of doggatud; youma got no learning intide you, and
 at-a-ta going back to me good Antie!'
   No tooner 'e turned
 round, than he ran plump into a big aggrettive dogga. And the big aggrettive
 doggata taid, 'And who may you be, if you pleade?'
   He taid,
 'I'm Poya Pool Baker.'
   And wid dat he put hid tail between
 hid leggatud and tcrammed home to hid good Antie.
 


Some of
the Dout
stories
are lost,
such as:

5. The pride-
winner

7. A tplendid
tcholar

8. Good
tchooling

9. Goote
fricata

6. Never in all it life
Dem-ma are doggud, and dema-ma are Antied. And doggatud love their Antied, ad,
 leatwayd, Antied love their doggatud.
   But never in all itd life, in all it life, wad there an Antie what loved itd
 doggata KER-WITE to tenderly ad what thit Antie doed.


 
10. A running kick at me


"Of an evenin', me Unk ad me weema goed out to do our droppied together. Well,
 one evenin' no tooner we wad out-tide than me Unk, if you pleade, taked a
 running kick at me, and FAIR KNOCKED ME BLOOMING INNARD OUT!"

 
11. Girlid id girlid


I taid, 'Where are youma going?'
   He taid, 'I'm going up
 the village, after dem girlid.'
   I taid, 'What did you
 tay?' I taid, 'Dem girlid?' I taid. 'Ain't you got a good Antie?' I taid.

   He taid, 'Antied id Antied ad girlid id girlid, Ant.'

   I taid, 'I'll give you tuch girlid on your hindquarterd,
 you won't be able to tit down thit tide of Chritmut!'


 
12. A little bit of learning


'Antie,' 'e taid, 'why can't I have a little bit of learning pumped intide
 me?'
   'It ain't no good!'
   'Antie,'
 'e taid, 'if I could have a little tatchel full of dem learned bookatud, like
 Unk, I could have a bit of learning.'
   I taid, 'It ain't
 no good. Youma got a little brain ad big ad a pea; it AIN'T NO GOOD!'


 
13. The story of Nobody, nobody, nobody


Nobody, nobody, nobody;

nobody, nobody, nobody.


 
14. The tory of Tometimed, but only tometimed

Tometimed, but only tometimed.

 
15. 'Queer, ain't dey?'


noshkeed - 
from Russian 
nozhki, the 
diminutive 
of nogi, 
meaning 
feet, or legs

Another
lost story:

16. Don't
know what't
ectpected
of me

He taid, 'I wad titting outide the gate,
 doing no 'arm to nobody, when tome people patting by taid, 'Queer, dem
 noshkeed, ain't dey?' I taid, 'My word, youma are an ignorant lot! Me Antie
 taid me noshkeed are tird podition Ballet Route. Me Antie taid me noshkeed
 are lyrical poemd!'


 


17. A little pair of tkated

'Oh Antie, buy me a little pair of tkated!'
   I taid,
 'What for? WHAT FOR?' I taid. 'You can't tkate!'
   'Yet,
 Antie, I can tkate a bit,' 'e taid. 'Oh, Antie, all me little friendid could
 come and tee me do a turn on Webb'd pond. Oh Antie, buy me a little pair of
 tkated!'
 
18. Dem pampered flydid


Antichka wad titting in de garden and Pool wad titting betide dem houded.

Some
more
lost
stories:

19 'What
id it?

20. The
intuition

21. Montie
Antie



   'E taid, 'Ant,' 'e taid. 'What are dem bloomin' flydid up
 to, Ant?'
   I taid, 'Dem flydid live in dem little houded.'



   He taid, 'Our flydid at home, Antie,' he taid. 'Dey walk
 up ad down dem walld ad up ad down dem teilingd: but dem pampered flydid got
 deir own houded.'

 


22. 'Good Mornink, Antie!'

'Good mornink, Antie!' 'e taid.

   I taid, 'What you mean "Good mornink, Antie!"? What dat in aid of, eh?'

   He taid, 'It'd all right, Antie; all doggud from dem foreign partd alwayd tay "Good mornink, Antied!"'

 
22. 'Good Mornink, Antie!' 
(second version)


'Good mornink, Antie.'

   I taid, 'What'd that one in aid of, eh?'

   He taid, 'It'd all right, Antie. All them doggad from foreign
 partd tay, "Good mornink, Antie."'

 



More
lost
stories:

23. Me
old Daad
oppotite

24. Yellow
gentlemen

25. The 
little
tuit-cate

27. Dem
daft birds



26. Pittoired

'Where are youma going?' I taid.

   He taid, 'I'm going down to the pittoired, Antie.'

   I taid, 'Where've youma got dat one from?' I taid.

   He taid, 'It'd all right, Antie, it'd only French for
 droppied!'

 


28. Pitta-paata

Pitta-paata, pitta-paata. 'Antie! Where are you, Ant?'

   I taid, 'And where should I be, if you pleade?'


 


29. Not very well in metelf



noshkied - 
from Russian 
nozhki, the 
diminutive 
of nogi, 
meaning 
feet, or legs


* t o p

* Steve
Savage's
Home Page


'Antie,' 'e taid.

   I taid, 'What id it now?' I taid.

   'I don't feel very well in metelf, Antie.'

   'What id the matter wid you?' I taid.

   'I tink it'd dem noshkied, Antie.'

   I taid, 'What'd the matter wid dem noshkied?'

   'Dey kind of folded back on me, Antie.'

   I taid, 'Why don't you take a little tin of hot water,' I taid. 'Put dem noshkied intide it ad dem vapoured will do you a power of good.'



 


30. Dem Wellington bootid
He taid, 'Antie, why can't I have a couple of pairdid of dem red Wellington bootid?'

B.U.-did -
Bread
Units
(from
WW2
rationing
in
Britain)


Another
missing
story:

32. De
Pooley













* t o p

* Steve
Savage's
Home Page



   I taid, 'Have you got any coupondid? Have you got any point'd? Have you got any B.U.-did?'

   'No, Antie, letwayd I ain't got no B.U.-did.'

   I taid, 'If you ain't got no B.U.-did, you ain't going to
 have no Wellington bootid, and that'd flat.'



 


31. Unc'd tpetimen

'What'd in that there bottle, Antie?' he taid.

   I taid, 'It'd Unc'd tpetimen for the doctor, nodey.'

   'That'd fanty talk, Ant. It'd Unc'd droppied, ain't it?
 I can't figure it out, Ant. We go about the yard, me Unc and me, doing our
 droppied, but now me Ant'd taken to bottling them.'


 


33. Liedid (March-April 1949)

'Liedid, liedid, liedid,' I taid. 'No, antie,' he taid, 'Leatwayd I ain't
 telling no liedid.' 'Shame on you!' I taid; 'you know youma telling liedid.'
 He taid, 'No antie, I ain't telling no liedid. I ain't done no droppied on
 them cabbaged in the larder. It wad Unc what did it.'


 


34. Puck'd lunch (September 1949)

'Tata, Ant!'

   'And where are you'ma going, I'd like to know?' I said. 'I'm
 going awalkatud with me friendid,' he taid; 'can I have a pucked lunch,
 Antie?'

   'Pucked lunch!' I taid; 'what nekd!'



 


35. Tnow white

Tomebodie'd Antie thought he wad tnow-white -- till tnow came!

The Dout Stories, featuring Poya de Poulet Baker. Picture of Poya by Peter Savage * back to first story * Steve Savage's Home Page	1. Tumpick to eatid 2. Dem monterd 3. The New Tocial Order 4. The Big Aggrettive Doggata 6. Never in all it life 10. A running kick at me 11. Girlid id girlid 12. A little bit of learning 13. The story of Nobody, nobody, nobody 14. The tory of Tometimed, but only tometimed 15. 'Queer, ain't dey?' 17. A little pair of tkated. 18. Dem pampered flydid 22. 'Good mornink, Antie!' 26. Pittoired 28. Pitta-paata 29. Not very well in metelf 30. Dem Wellington bootid 31. Unc'd tpetimen 33. Liedid 34. Pucked lunch 35. Tnow white 2. Dem monterd 'Oh Antie,' 'e taid, 'do come out, Ant!' 'I ain't a-going to come out,' I taid, 'and that'd flat!' 'Oh Ant, do come out! Dem big black monterd coming acrort dem field!' 'Go on wid you: I ain't a coming out!' I taid. 'Oh Antie,' 'e taid, 'dem eormut black monterd coming acrort dem field wid big round pennied tuck on the top of dem nodid! Come out, Ant, do!' 3. The New Tocial Order 'Antie,' 'e taid. I taid, 'What id it?' 'Antie, youma day'd ober,' 'e taid. 'How do you figure dat one out, eh?' I taid. 'Well, I did hear tell, Ant, dat the New Tocial Order id coming.' I taid, 'I'll give you tuch a kick in your tocial pantd, you won't be able to tit down thit tide of Chritmut!' 4. The Big Aggrettive Doggata One day, all dem commat doggatud from Evan'd Lane were titting in a tircle, and when dey taw Poya Pool, dey taid, 'Hi! What id your name?' And 'e taid, 'I'm Poya de Poulet Baker, and I live with the gentry around the corner.' 'Dat'd a good one!' dey taid. 'Weema heard your Ant yell out of the gate, "Coom 'ere, Pool!"' 'My word,' 'e taid, 'youma are an ignorant lot of doggatud; youma got no learning intide you, and at-a-ta going back to me good Antie!' No tooner 'e turned round, than he ran plump into a big aggrettive dogga. And the big aggrettive doggata taid, 'And who may you be, if you pleade?' He taid, 'I'm Poya Pool Baker.' And wid dat he put hid tail between hid leggatud and tcrammed home to hid good Antie.
Some of the Dout stories are lost, such as: 5. The pride- winner 7. A tplendid tcholar 8. Good tchooling 9. Goote fricata	6. Never in all it life Dem-ma are doggud, and dema-ma are Antied. And doggatud love their Antied, ad, leatwayd, Antied love their doggatud. But never in all itd life, in all it life, wad there an Antie what loved itd doggata KER-WITE to tenderly ad what thit Antie doed. 10. A running kick at me "Of an evenin', me Unk ad me weema goed out to do our droppied together. Well, one evenin' no tooner we wad out-tide than me Unk, if you pleade, taked a running kick at me, and FAIR KNOCKED ME BLOOMING INNARD OUT!" 11. Girlid id girlid I taid, 'Where are youma going?' He taid, 'I'm going up the village, after dem girlid.' I taid, 'What did you tay?' I taid, 'Dem girlid?' I taid. 'Ain't you got a good Antie?' I taid. He taid, 'Antied id Antied ad girlid id girlid, Ant.' I taid, 'I'll give you tuch girlid on your hindquarterd, you won't be able to tit down thit tide of Chritmut!' 12. A little bit of learning 'Antie,' 'e taid, 'why can't I have a little bit of learning pumped intide me?' 'It ain't no good!' 'Antie,' 'e taid, 'if I could have a little tatchel full of dem learned bookatud, like Unk, I could have a bit of learning.' I taid, 'It ain't no good. Youma got a little brain ad big ad a pea; it AIN'T NO GOOD!' 13. The story of Nobody, nobody, nobody Nobody, nobody, nobody; nobody, nobody, nobody. 14. The tory of Tometimed, but only tometimed Tometimed, but only tometimed. 15. 'Queer, ain't dey?'
noshkeed - from Russian nozhki, the diminutive of nogi, meaning feet, or legs Another lost story: 16. Don't know what't ectpected of me	He taid, 'I wad titting outide the gate, doing no 'arm to nobody, when tome people patting by taid, 'Queer, dem noshkeed, ain't dey?' I taid, 'My word, youma are an ignorant lot! Me Antie taid me noshkeed are tird podition Ballet Route. Me Antie taid me noshkeed are lyrical poemd!' 17. A little pair of tkated 'Oh Antie, buy me a little pair of tkated!' I taid, 'What for? WHAT FOR?' I taid. 'You can't tkate!' 'Yet, Antie, I can tkate a bit,' 'e taid. 'Oh, Antie, all me little friendid could come and tee me do a turn on Webb'd pond. Oh Antie, buy me a little pair of tkated!' 18. Dem pampered flydid Antichka wad titting in de garden and Pool wad titting betide dem houded.
Some more lost stories: 19 'What id it? 20. The intuition 21. Montie Antie	'E taid, 'Ant,' 'e taid. 'What are dem bloomin' flydid up to, Ant?' I taid, 'Dem flydid live in dem little houded.' He taid, 'Our flydid at home, Antie,' he taid. 'Dey walk up ad down dem walld ad up ad down dem teilingd: but dem pampered flydid got deir own houded.' 22. 'Good Mornink, Antie!' 'Good mornink, Antie!' 'e taid. I taid, 'What you mean "Good mornink, Antie!"? What dat in aid of, eh?' He taid, 'It'd all right, Antie; all doggud from dem foreign partd alwayd tay "Good mornink, Antied!"' 22. 'Good Mornink, Antie!' (second version) 'Good mornink, Antie.' I taid, 'What'd that one in aid of, eh?' He taid, 'It'd all right, Antie. All them doggad from foreign partd tay, "Good mornink, Antie."'
More lost stories: 23. Me old Daad oppotite 24. Yellow gentlemen 25. The little tuit-cate 27. Dem daft birds	`26. Pittoired 'Where are youma going?' I taid. He taid, 'I'm going down to the pittoired, Antie.' I taid, 'Where've youma got dat one from?' I taid. He taid, 'It'd all right, Antie, it'd only French for droppied!' 28. Pitta-paata Pitta-paata, pitta-paata. 'Antie! Where are you, Ant?' I taid, 'And where should I be, if you pleade?' 29. Not very well in metelf`
noshkied - from Russian nozhki, the diminutive of nogi, meaning feet, or legs * t o p * Steve Savage's Home Page	'Antie,' 'e taid. I taid, 'What id it now?' I taid. 'I don't feel very well in metelf, Antie.' 'What id the matter wid you?' I taid. 'I tink it'd dem noshkied, Antie.' I taid, 'What'd the matter wid dem noshkied?' 'Dey kind of folded back on me, Antie.' I taid, 'Why don't you take a little tin of hot water,' I taid. 'Put dem noshkied intide it ad dem vapoured will do you a power of good.' 30. Dem Wellington bootid He taid, 'Antie, why can't I have a couple of pairdid of dem red Wellington bootid?'
B.U.-did - Bread Units (from WW2 rationing in Britain) Another missing story: 32. De Pooley * t o p * Steve Savage's Home Page	I taid, 'Have you got any coupondid? Have you got any point'd? Have you got any B.U.-did?' 'No, Antie, letwayd I ain't got no B.U.-did.' I taid, 'If you ain't got no B.U.-did, you ain't going to have no Wellington bootid, and that'd flat.' 31. Unc'd tpetimen 'What'd in that there bottle, Antie?' he taid. I taid, 'It'd Unc'd tpetimen for the doctor, nodey.' 'That'd fanty talk, Ant. It'd Unc'd droppied, ain't it? I can't figure it out, Ant. We go about the yard, me Unc and me, doing our droppied, but now me Ant'd taken to bottling them.' 33. Liedid (March-April 1949) 'Liedid, liedid, liedid,' I taid. 'No, antie,' he taid, 'Leatwayd I ain't telling no liedid.' 'Shame on you!' I taid; 'you know youma telling liedid.' He taid, 'No antie, I ain't telling no liedid. I ain't done no droppied on them cabbaged in the larder. It wad Unc what did it.' 34. Puck'd lunch (September 1949) 'Tata, Ant!' 'And where are you'ma going, I'd like to know?' I said. 'I'm going awalkatud with me friendid,' he taid; 'can I have a pucked lunch, Antie?' 'Pucked lunch!' I taid; 'what nekd!' 35. Tnow white Tomebodie'd Antie thought he wad tnow-white -- till tnow came!