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Thank you Derwood for your assistance in guiding our guest to page 10 of "Jokes & Quotes". I hope you lose the gum or what ever you stepped in off of your shoes. Let's continue with more funny jokes and good quotes.
~ 1 ~ Joke
Johnny was at his first day of school. The teacher advised the class to start the day with the pledge of allegiance, and instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after him. He looked around the room as he started the recitation, "I pledge allegiance to the flag..."
When his eyes fell on Johnny, he noticed Johnny's hand over the right cheek of his buttocks.
"Johnny, I will not continue 'till you put you hand over your heart.
"Johnny replied, "It is over my heart."
After several attempts to get Johnny to put his hand over his heart, the teacher asked, "Why do you think that is your heart?"
"Because every time my Grandma comes to visit, she picks me up, pats me here, and says, "Bless your little heart," and my Grandma wouldn't lie."
~ 2 ~ Quote
"Don't frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile!"
~ 3 ~ Joke
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny, what are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
~ 4 ~ Quote
"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the drive before it has stopped snowing."
~ 5 ~ Joke
All the way home in the back seat of the car the boy was quiet. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.
~ 6 ~ Quote
"Children will soon forget your presents, but they will always remember your presence."
~ 7 ~ Joke
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the school teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
~ 8 ~ Quote
Mother Teresa's words:
"We cannot do great things - only small things with great love."
~ 9 ~ Joke
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures
of their favorite bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
"I see ... And
that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius--the Pilot!"
~ 10 ~ Quote
"There is only one pretty child in the world and every parent has it." - Chinese Proverb :)
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
This concludes page 9 of "Jokes & Quotes". I would like to introduce you to Mr. Peabody brother to Ms. Peabody. Unlike Ms. Peabody he's got it all together and knows a right turn from a left turn. He would like to guide you to page 10. If you would like to follow him I am confident he will get you there. If you prefer to make the trip on your own, you can click on to "Next" just below my guest books. I'm heading in that direction too. Hope to see you over there. :)
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