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What does god look like? ...Asked 7.21.00 6:55 AM

Answer by Jeni on 7.21.00 7:02 AM
A light so bright that it would kill you if you looked at it. The power radiating from him is more than we can bear to see.
Answer by Minga on 7.21.00 2:25 PM
God appears to each in a form that the individual can understand
Answer by heyteach on 7.21.00 2:40 PM
I'd say God manifests Himself on rare occasions to some folks--who normally describe such brightness that they nearly went blind and did not see clearly (no surprise as they were in their sinful corporeal body). Moses apparently saw signs (burning bush, finger of fire for the commandments) and such and heard God. I don't think we've got a good description--but we definitely would know Him if we saw Him.
Answer by Etienne on 7.21.00 4:05 PM
God looks like peace, and unconditional love. God looks like tolerance and compassion. God looks like the power it takes to care for someone who is sick for years, simply because you care. We never know what these things look like until we see them in front of us, the same as God. We don't know what the divine looks like, but we know it exists, and if we need it it's there.
Answer by fated100 on 7.21.00 8:11 PM
Personally, I don't believe anyone will ever know.......alive or dead.....
Answer by tutton on 7.22.00 1:42 AM
The appointment of Moses as the leader of the Israelites, related in Exodus 3: 3-6, was accomplished by the appearance of God in a burning bush on Mt. Horeb.
And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush, and he looked and behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed. And Moses said, I will now turn aside, and see this great sight, why the bush is not burnt. And when the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses. And He said, Draw not nigh hither, put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place when thou standest is holy ground. And He said, I am the God of thy father, the god of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the god of Jacob. And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look upon God.
Colossians 1-15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.
So to me God is different to all people. The above scriptures explain to me that God's appearance was first to Moses in a burning bush an then in Pauls letters to the Colossians where God was invisible but has taken the form of Jesus Christ. We must remember that OUR religion may not be everybody's religion
Answer by Tailgunner on 7.22.00 3:38 PM
(Each person answering the question "What does God look like?" tells me more about the person answering the question than it does about God.)
To me, God is not "supernatural". God is "absolute natural", the embodiment of all things logical, reasonable, beautiful, just, moral, loving, harmonious, clean, and decent.
"Supernatural" was a term contrived by men to explain that which they have neither the heart nor the intellect to explain.
Men are not "absolute natural", so they cling to the "supernatural" which is intellectually lazy and a convenient excuse for their despicable behaviors. (men = mankind) If enough fools proclaim something to be "supernatural", then they all buy into the idea; as if sharing their ignorance somehow made it all become truth.
Applying the word "supernatural" to God, puts him in the same category as astrology, tea leaves, witch craft, wizards, witches, fairy tales, and mystics, which is superstition. Otherwise, "supernatural" equals "superstition".
"Trapped in space, in time, in mind.
This island earth.
Limited comprehension, insufficient extension.
See, beyond the mortal murk; relativity, time, and space, his face, another place."
What does God look like? He looks like you, because God created man in his own image.
Answer by hippie on 7.23.00 10:44 PM
Says he made us in his image so I imagine he looks like George Burns.
Answer by LLDY on 7.21.00 9:29 AM
God looks like you perceive Him in your own mind. There are no photographs of God, no paintings from real life. Each of us has our own idea of what God may look like, and each religion has their own idea of what God represents. You choose your own image - God won't mind if you don't know what He looks like.
Answer by keltek on 7.21.00 1:02 PM
The Individual Soul - each and every individual soul.
Answer by lizard on 7.21.00 2:54 PM
he is invisable
Answer by quest246 on 7.21.00 4:32 PM
a bright light and can appear into anyform he wants too
Answer by rla_PT on 7.21.00 6:24 PM
Jeni's answer is correct, however, since we were created in His image, if you look in the mirror, you will get a bit of an idea what he looks like.
Answer by Pahel50 on 7.21.00 11:47 PM
Whatever you believe He (or She) looks like. My experiences agree with those who said a bright, warm, pure light. All encompassing. I can't describe it any more than that. He's more a feeling than a vision. But you'll know.
Answer by lee45 on 7.22.00 3:29 PM
She looks pissed.
Answer by kkkayla on 7.24.00 11:24 AM
yourself
Answer by Dilbert on 7.21.00 9:17 AM
Wilford Brimley

What is your favourite sad song?

Answer by brigit on 7.21.00 8:09 AM
The Derry Air
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come you back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'tis I'll be there in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.
And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.
And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I simply sleep in peace until you come to me
what can be said of this song?
i want a glass lifted and a good tenor to sing this song for my wake.
Answer by HeatherF on 7.21.00 9:56 AM
"Because You Loved Me", by Celine Dion. I won't reprint the lyrics because they're actually quite inspiring. What makes it sad for me is that a choir of children sang that at the funeral service of a good friend of mine (she had been a schoolteacher, and many of the choir members were former students). I can't hear that song without being overcome with the memory of that day.
Answer by heyteach on 7.21.00 2:28 PM
Yesterday
The Beatles
Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be.
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.
Why she had to go, I don't know,
She wouldn't say.
I said something wrong,
Now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Why she had to go, I don't know,
She wouldn't say.
I said something wrong,
Now I long for yesterday.
Yesterday love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Answer by Minga on 7.21.00 4:59 PM
LATE FOR THE SKY
Jackson Browne
The words had all been spoken
And somehow the feeling still wasn't right
And still we continued on through the night
Tracing our steps from the beginning
Until they vanished into the air
Trying to understand how our lives has lead us there
Looking hard into your eyes
There was nobody I'd ever known
Such an empty surprise to feel so alone
Now for me some words come easy
But I know that they don't mean that much
Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch
You never knew what I loved in you
I don't know what you loved in me
Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be
Awake again I can't pretend and I know I'm alone
And close to the end of the feeling we've known
How long have I been sleeping
How long have I been drifting alone through the night
How long have I been dreaming I could make it right
If I closed my eyes and tried with all my might
To be the one you need
Awake again I can't pretend and I know I'm alone
And close to the end of the feeling we've known
How long have I been sleeping
How long have I been drifting alone through the night
How long have I been running for that morning flight
Through the whispered promises and the changing light
Of the bed where we both lie
Late for the sky
Answer by chelsea1 on 7.22.00 12:20 AM
Brigit is right. I am incapable of hearing "Danny Boy" without getting teary.
Having said that, the second-saddest song ever is also sung by an Irishman (I guess the melancholy is in my blood!) It's a sappy song, but it came out when I was a troubled teen and even though it's "over the top," it gets me weepy that the singer is telling us about being so desperately sad and lonely. Go ahead and laugh, but "Alone Again, Naturally" by Gilbert O'Sullivan destroys me -- both because of the song itself and the memories it stirs up of what was going on in my life when it first came out, around 1971.
Answer by goodwife on 7.22.00 8:36 AM
Rainy Night In Georgia
Hoverin' by my suitcase, tryin' to find a warm place to spend the night
Heavy rain fallin', seems I hear your voice callin' "It's all right."
A rainy night in Georgia, a rainy night in Georgia
It seems like it's rainin' all over the world
I feel like it's rainin' all over the world
Neon signs a-flashin', taxi cabs and buses passin' through the night
A distant moanin' of a train seems to play a sad refrain to the night
A rainy night in Georgia, such a rainy night in Georgia
Lord, I believe it's rainin' all over the world
I feel like it's rainin' all over the world
How many times I wondered
It still comes out the same
No matter how you look at it or think of it
It's life and you just got to play the game
I find me a place in a box car, so I take my guitar to pass some time
Late at night when it's hard to rest I hold your picture to my chest and I feel fine
(minor scat) But it's a rainy night in Georgia, baby, it's a rainy night in Georgia I
feel it's rainin' all over the world, kinda lonely now And it's rainin' all over the
world
Oh, have you ever been lonely, people?
And you feel that it was rainin' all over this man's world
You're talking 'bout rainin', rainin', rainin', rainin', rainin', rainin', rainin',
rainin', rainin' rainin', rainin', rainin'
Answer by Meadow on 7.22.00 3:40 PM
The last song on Joshua Kadison's EP "Saturday Night in Storyville". I want to bawl every time I hear it. I can't ever remember the name of it. I just love it, even though it's sad and touching!
"I'll be there on the wings of the butterfly..."
I want this played at my "funeral" along with Amazing Grace. That one ALWAYS makes me cry.
Another one of his is "Mama's Arms" off of his "Painted Desert Serenade"...it's about his mother funeral when he was just a little boy. *sniff sniff*
Answer by Lawboy on 7.22.00 8:09 PM
For me, it's a tie. The Shortest Story, by Harry Chapin:
I am born today, the sun burns its promise in my eyes;
Mama strikes me and I draw a breath and cry.
Above me a cloud softly tumbles through the sky;
I am glad to be alive.
It is my seventh day, I taste the hunger and I cry;
my brother and sister cling to Mama's side.
She squeezes her breast, but it has nothing to provide;
someone weeps, I fall asleep.
It is twenty days today, Mama does not hold me any more;
I open my mouth but I am too weak to cry.
Above me a bird slowly crawls across the sky;
why is there nothing now to do but die?
and... I Think It's Gonna Rain Today, by Bette Midler:
Broken windows and empty hallways,
a pale dead moon in a sky streaked with grey.
Human kindness is overflowing,
and I think it's gonna rain today.
Scarecrows dressed in the latest styles,
the frozen smiles to chase love away.
Human kindness is overflowing,
and I think it's gonna rain today.
Lonely, lonely.
Tin can at my feet,
I think I'll kick it down the street.
That's the way to treat a friend.
Bright before me the signs implore me:
Help the needy and show them the way.
Human kindness is overflowing,
and I think it's gonna rain today.
Lonely, so lonely.
Tin can at my feet,
I think I'll kick it down the street.
That's the way to treat a friend.
Bright before me the signs implore me:
Help the needy and show them the way.
Human kindness is overflowing,
and I think it's gonna rain today.
Answer by waterlin on 7.23.00 8:53 AM
I Can't Make You Love Me
Bonnie Raitt
Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don´t patronize - don´t patronize me
Cause I can´t make you love me if you don´t
You can´t make your heart feel something it won´t
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I´ll feel the power
But you won´t, no you won´t
´Cause I can´t make you love me, if you don´t
I´ll close my eyes, then I won´t see
The love you don´t feel when you´re holding me
Morning will come and I´ll do what´s right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
Cause I can´t make you love me if you don´t
You can´t make your heart feel something it won´t
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I´ll feel the power
But you won´t, no you won´t
´Cause I can´t make you love me, if you don´t
Answer by timandju on 7.24.00 10:58 AM
May another Celt chime in? (It's a lot easier to find a sad Irish song than it is to find a happy one!)
She Moved Through the Fair
My love said to me
My mother won't mind
And my father won't slight you
For your lack of kind
And she laid her hand on me
And this she did say
It will not be long now
Till our wedding day
And she went away from me
And she moved through the fair
And fondly I watched her
Move here and move there
And then she went onwards
Just one star awake
Like the swan in the evening
Moves over the lake
I dreamed last night that my dead love came in
She came in so sweetly
Her feet made no din
And she laid her hand on me
And this she did say
It will not be long now
Till our wedding day
Another great one is "The Ballad of the Foxhunter" by Cherish the Ladies
Answer by LLDY on 7.24.00 5:10 PM
Although it is not meant to be a sad song, "Amazing Grace" is the one that does it for me. It was my mother-in-law's absolute favourite song, so we played it at her funeral. Now, because of the wonderful memories I have of her and remembering how much she meant to me, I can't hear that beautiful song without tears filling my eyes.
Answer by ChrisLK7 on 7.21.00 8:58 AM
"These Days", Jackson Browne
Well I've been out walking
I don't do that much talking these days
These days--
These days I seem to think a lot
About the things that I forgot to do
For you
And all the times I had the chance to
And I had a lover
It's so hard to risk another these days
These days--
Now if I seem to be afraid
To live the life I have made in song
Well it's just that I've been losing so long
I'll keep on moving
Things are bound to be improving these days
These days--
These days I sit on corner stones
And count the time in quarter tones to ten, my friend
Don't confront me with my failures
I had not forgotten them
Answer by quest246 on 7.21.00 4:29 PM
chris rock song only god knows why it reminds me of my best friend that dioed life is too short
Answer by Etienne on 7.21.00 4:54 PM
I have 2. American Pie, Don McLean, and Sad Songs, Elton John - "Sad songs say so much."
Answer by esrun on 7.21.00 8:49 PM
"Abraham, Martin & John"
by Dion from Dion and the Bellmonts
"Has anyone here seen my old friend Abraham ? Can you tell me where he has gone?......."

...asked by George (WEL) on 7.17.00

I am really very depressed.
I just keep thinking about all the shit thats been happening to me lately, first my cousin died, then my parents split up, and the other day my cat died.
That was all this year. I am crying as i write this.
I made a new friend a couple of months ago. She is the only real friend I have had sincve my mate moved to canada in 1992. I think i love her. She likes a guy at school, and she is gonna move away in 2 years ir so to scotland. I'd go with her, but I cant leave my mum here on her own. I'm pretty much stuck in this shitty little town with no real friends and nothing to do. I think I might have to stop being friends with the girl up my road, it'll just destroy me when she leaves. Best to just get used to havong no friends now. I am sorry for any typos, I'm not really thinking too well while writing this.
At school it feels like everybody hates me. Everybody calls me names and takes the piss. I am unpopular with girls as well. I feel like the best thing to do now would be to just take a jump off the nearest bridge, and i would if it wasnt for my mum. I couldnt upset her like that. WHAT DO I DO? I have to do something fast. I think I am going crazy/
somebpody help me. please.
I don't even think i'd be missed by anybody except my family. and nothing seems to be going right in my life.
It never really has.
I may have to do it.
George.

Answer by Bluto on 7.17.00 5:22 PM
George,
Things look pretty bleak right about now, but life has a strange way of turning around before you realize what has happened. Just like night turns to day and winter gives way to spring and summer, so too will this "winter" phase of your life give way to happier times. Believe me, when I was in highschool, I thought my life was the pits, but now, 18 years later, life is not so bad. I assure you that you will find more friends, you will have lovers and will have a family that you cherish and who cherish you.
For now, be patient. This storm will pass. If you make yourself open to making new friends it will happen. Be open to friendships by being nice to all people you encounter, not just the ones whith whom you would like to be friends. Don't worry that your friends will move away. Of course they will at some point in their life. But you can still be friends. Call them, write to them and visit. I still have very close friends from highschool who I visit at least once a year and who live 1000 miles away. I make new friends just by being nice to people I meet. I am not particularly adept with social skills, and I am considered to be somewhat shy, but if you just make yourself open to friendship it will happen.
As for your cat, perhaps you could adopt another cat. It will never be a replacement for the cat you lost, but it could be the beginning of a new relationship with a cat, one that could prove to be equally nice as your old cat. I don't know what to tell you about dealing with the loss of loved ones such as your cousin. With time the pain will diminish, but will never go away entirely. You honor your cousins memory by moving on, by continuing to live. That is hard but it can be done.
I also don't have much to offer with regard to the breakup of your parents. Perhaps there is a counselor you could talk to that could help you deal with the pain. I know it will be difficult, but again, the clouds will pass.
Those that call you names are not worth the trouble to bother with. Just be nice to them and all others and I think that you will find that your popularity increases. Remember, none of us are perfect, not even the ones who think they are perfect, and everyone needs friends. So if you are friendly to everyone, even those who are not friendly to you, I am certain that you will find more friends out there who feel exactly like you do.
Last but not least, its pretty easy to make friends at knowpost. Give it a try.

Answer by brigit on 7.17.00 11:58 PM
first, let me say that your depression is not a bit surprising, love. you have experienced three traumatic losses within a year. most anyone would be depressed.
the loss of your cousin, the loss of your cat, and the breakup of your home must all be devastating. please accept my condolences on all three.
if possible, i recommend that you ask your mum to help by taking you to a doctor. i know you think that seems like too much to admit to her, and too much to ask her to do for you, especially when she is in a state herself. but it is the best thing for you right now, trust me as one who has pondered jumping off a few bridges ...
whatever you do, love, don't shrug off your new friend because you believe that you will be crushed when she leaves. too many things can happen in two years. your mum may not need you then. your friend could have a change in plans. anything is possible. for now, you need a friend, and you have one. keep that friend, and see where it might lead.
if you think it over carefully, you will realise that not everyone at school hates you. you said yourself, "it seems..." seeming is not reality, as you know.
as for the ones who treat you badly, call you names, etc., etc.,know this: many of us endured the same or like treatment in school.
and i think that the only thing we all have in common is that we possess a higher than average intelligence. even if your scores don't reflect it, i am sure that this is a goodly part of your troubles with others your age. the good news is that you have not only this time, but the rest of your life (and may it be a long, healthy, and fulfilling one) to enjoy your intellect. and as you move into your life, love, you will find ever expanding avenues to explore...
and finally, George, listen to me - it may not be this friend, and it may not be the next girl you fancy, but love will come to you. and if you are alive, you will be ready.

Answer by braino on 7.18.00 4:05 AM
You're not alone. My parents also just split up. If you'd told me before, I wouldn't have believed how depressed this can make 20 year old until I lived it. Last summer and this winter, I learned somethings about myself that I am still not very comfortable with--and not NEARLY comfortable enough to blurt out online--but let me tell you that I've had many sleepless, heartwrenching nights these last few months. Needless to say, I love them, but am not very comfortable with my parents right now.
And overall, everything else hasn't been rosy either. Just one case in point: right now I am laying on the floor typing, because tonight I moved my desk out of my apartment. The apartment I love and worked so hard to move into; they raised my rent and now, two months later, I am leaving to move in with some friends in the only place I can afford. I am very anxious about living there, because there is a lot about it I don't like. It smells like their cat. I can't bring my couch, which I love, because it won't fit into my room. I worked very hard for this apartment, where I could get away from the things that bother me, a sanctuary, and now it is going to vanish. It isn't a fun feeling, when nothing at all will stay stable. Depression has not helped my social life; for the first time in my life I have experienced several panic attacks. I cannot imagine much that is worse than an anxiety attack. My grades are slipping. My health has deteriorated seriously during the last few months, and I'm often sick. I am flat broke.
But you know what? I am only 20 years old. I've got a long row to hoe ahead of me. For me, suicide is not an option and will never be, because as sure as things get worse before they get better, the sun will still rise tomorrow and I'll be damned if I let other people or myself keep me from seeing that.
I'll tell you something: Talk to your mum. I'm sure she cares for you as much as you care for her; she'll lend you a shoulder. I found out just how nice this can be last time I saw my dad. And if you still don't feel better, ask her if you can speak to a counselor (not the high school kind, a real one). You haven't exhausted all of your routes yet, George, there are still other things for you to do. They may require you to sacrefice a bit of face by confessing your feelings, but that's a lot better than needlessly sacreficing your life without giving them a go. It's hard, but it's better. Good luck, George. Adios (go with God).
p.s. High school is, for the most part, a sick joke. It will try to crush you right now, but don't let it: after you graduate, you will be thrust into a world of people and you will find your niche--you won't see these people from high school ever again, unless you are in town visiting family or going to a reunion. Trust me, a guy who has been in your shoes on this one, here.

Answer by Tehuti on 7.19.00 3:37 AM
1998 was a lovely year for me.
First off my mom went on a trip to Texas and I couldn't go because I hadn't been invited.
Second off, she took a cholesterol test there and found out her cholesterol was way too high and so she went to the doctor for a checkup.
Third off, she found out she needed surgery on a blocked artery. It was the first time I could remember one of my parents going in for major surgery, and of course I was worried. What if she got a clot?
The surgery went fine. But then...
Our well ran dry. I stood near the tub in the middle of the night crying because no more water would come out. I had just enough left to wash my hair. Ma was still recuperating out at my grandma's now, and Dad was asleep. He would get up to go to work in about an hour and there wasn't even water left for him to take a shower. I didn't even have the courage to tell him this. I had to go to bed and let him find out for himself.
We had a new well dug. Our bills went up.
Next off...we were told our insurance would be revoked unless we fixed up the house.
We had the siding and roof and windows completely redone.
We had to apply for a loan. The bills rose.
And then...the Health Department came out and stuck little orange warning flags in our yard around the leaky sewer.
We had the sewer dredged and cleaned out, our yard dug up and a new drainage system put in. It went onto the debt.
And our bills went up.
And then...Dad decided on a whim that his vehicle was no longer fit for use and had to get another one. We couldn't put this on the debt, so it had to be paid out of pocket.
And still the bills rose.
All of this in the first half of lovely 1998.
It doesn't sound nearly as bad as what you've been through...but I DO know the feeling. EVERYTHING is happening--one thing right after another after another after ANOTHER. There is NEVER any end. Just when you begin to think things are getting better and you can relax, something ELSE comes along to shatter your false sense of security. It can be something as major as the power being shut off or as seemingly minor as an electrical appliance acting up or the cat having seizures. (Which ours did.) But after a while it doesn't even matter HOW minor it is. When you're feeling absolutely miserable, something like spilling a freshly made salad on the floor can be enough to make you burst into tears. (As I did.) You're left feeling that things will NEVER be better and they will NEVER be fair for you.
Why should you have to suffer so much? What have YOU done? As selfish as it sounds, why can't somebody ELSE have to deal with that pain for once? Why must it keep coming back to you? WHY?
One of the saddest things is that there IS no answer. It happens. It happens to all of us. It always has happened, and it always will happen. It's the way life is...unfortunately enough.
I wish that I could say something to make the pain go away...I know also the feeling of losing a friend, MANY times over...but there really is nothing I can say to take all that pain away. Nothing anybody says will act as a magic cure to wipe away everything you're feeling. If it could, I myself would be a much happier person than I am now. And you would too.
I hope that the knowledge that you aren't the only one who's had to go through one thing piling on ANOTHER piling on ANOTHER piling on ANOTHER will console you a bit. I have gone through it too. And I bet many of the others around here have. The one little thing is that we're still alive and we're somehow still going on. All the pain hasn't killed us yet. I can't be certain it's made us any stronger, but it hasn't killed us. And every once in a great while you'll find a LITTLE something that makes it worthwhile, at least for a short time.
You say nobody would miss you but your family. Your family counts as something, doesn't it? Do you really feel so miserable that you wouldn't mind bringing extra pain on both yourself and on them by killing yourself? That's one of the main reasons I don't kill myself--I would only end up hurting others. Instead of dwelling in my pain myself, I would be spreading it to others who deserve it no more than I do.
Would you really wish to do that?
Think on that one. Don't take the "easy" way out. When you find that one little thing that's keeping you from doing it so far, latch onto it as if your life depended on it...because in this case it might. Think of your family's feelings, if nothing else. Remember that we all feel pain, some more so than others, and that it just ISN'T always fair. Think of the pain you feel, and think of you inflicting that pain on others. In the end it's just not worth it.
At the very least give it some more time. I'm not wallowing right now; things have moved up just a little. The debt isn't killing us yet. If you give it a little time, things may even out for you too. It's only that these things take time.

Answer by Lawboy on 7.19.00 10:55 AM
George, I am not going to try to tell you that things will miraculously get better, because guys like us know better than that. But I will tell you, you have the potential to make things better for other people. You mention your mother; she needs your assistance. Not only that, but the girl you have become friends with must enjoy your company, or she wouldn't be your friend. Instead of dwelling on where things are not right in your life, take a look at things like that. Don't let school drive who you are, or what you do. You obviously are a caring person, or you would just follow your own path and leave your mother on her own. Sometimes, it just takes girls time to discover who the really decent guys are. Give them the chance to get to know you. And don't dwell on the ones at school; get out a bit and meet girls from other areas.
Times change, people change, and circumstances change. The girl may stay; you may be in a better position to go when the time comes. You may find another person with whom you wish to have a relationship.
People die, people break up, pets die -- they're all facts of life, and part of the path of living. Your life was better for having known your cousin, and for having had your cat. If you die before your time, you will not have the opportunity to make others' lives better, in the same way that the people and animals you have known have helped yours.

Answer by heyteach on 7.19.00 11:35 AM
George,
I'm a suicide survivor and I can tell you, I can identify with your pain and exhaustion. In fact, I tried when so young it did not occur to any of the "busy" people around me that I had done it deliberately. I spent many years--junior high and high school especially--on the verge of a more effective way to die. Guilt kept me alive. Since then, I've considered it as an option. I'm not going to give you any lectures on "permanent solution to a temporary problem" or the rest of that. What I am going to suggest is, even though I wanted on many occasions to die (and there was no "half-hearted" attempt that was a "cry for help" either) I did not and I'm surviving and at times I'm living.
You know what I mean: sometimes all you are doing is NOT being officially dead. Other times you can actually work up some enthusiasm for life. My point is, after several times when I've had reasons as good as yours to want to be dead, I've found some joy. So let's see if we can speed up that discovery for you.
First, my dear, you need to be checked by a doctor, really. There are so many medical problems that could be doing this to you. It could be something hormonal out of whack and that can provide the "straw that breaks the camel's back."
You have had a shitload of crap drop on you recently, so you have every reason to be depressed, but imagine that say 25% of that pit of hell feeling could be lifted from your shoulders: wouldn't that help you to be able to fight back? Well, maybe that is owing to a medical issue. I say it's worth checking out.
Second, you're getting some very good advice from folks you've never met. Want to know why? Your tour of hell is NOT unusual. I'm not try to limit your pain, I'm trying to tell you it's a common part of being human. No one will know EXACTLY how you feel, but a lot of folks will have a good inkling--and the older we get, the more likely we do understand. You see, right now you're surrounded by your problems: your mum is probably still reeling and I bet she's not that much help to you as she's probably in shock herself--or very angry. That takes a lot of emotional energy and she's probably not there for you like she should be. You lost someone you loved--your cousin. You lost what might have been your best friend--your cat. I mean, Hell, how many losses is a person supposed to take and remain standing?
But you see, lots of folks have had a lot of losses and manage to go on. They will also be willing to talk with you.
Some of the jerks who are making your life miserable now will come to understand, through personal pain of their own, within the next few years, where you are NOW. They don't get it now, though. Seek out some folks who DO "get it."
You say your family would miss you--not a problem that family is also friend. Go with that. They may know some quality people they can introduce you to. I don't know if you go to church or not, but lots of times you will meet good folks who will open their hearts to you--think about it. How about some sort of community center?
This will sound odd, especially to a teen, but find someone who NEEDS a friend and go be that person's friend. Would you turn down a sincere offer of friendship now? No, of course not. Well others won't either. If you're too uncomfortable starting at school, make it an easy to win situation: go visit at an old folk's home (some of them are pretty darn cool and understanding--it does happen--I speak from YEARS of experience here.) Go to a hospital with sick kids and cheer them up. Go DO something positive. You will feel better about yourself and you will start to make friends.
Don't cut yourself off the from girl up the road either. Listen to me, and you KNOW this is true: NEVER borrow trouble from the future. Life has a way of dumping a load of crap on its own--don't ask for more. Enjoy the time you have with her now and see how things progress--two years can be a long time and a lot can change.
You WILL help your mum if you can feel better. She's probably dazed now, but she's not dead: she can feel you're in pain. It must add to hers.
Look for help; reach out to some folks, like you did here on KP. In many cases, and I hope it is most cases, you won't be rejected. And look to help others.
You get MORE of what you FOCUS on. Start looking at the pluses you have and go MAKE some MORE PLUSES.
Keep a journal and let it all out in there. After a month, go back and look it over. You will have made some progress that you might not recognize when you're just slogging through the day.
There IS hope, George.
God bless.

Answer by Ethmer on 7.19.00 12:51 PM
George,
There may be many good answers included in the add-ons to this soapbox (i don't know, i don't have time at the moment to read them).
i think that the most important thing, though, is for you to find someone whom you can trust who you can talk to at any time. (A minister might be one person.)
Since it is possible that you feel "alone" and don't think there is anyone in "your world" that you can trust and talk to, consider the alternative of developing a couple of close friendships on the internet.
As an example, there are many people within the KnowPost community who would be glad to communicate with you and be your "sounding board". i would suggest, however, that you choose individuals who also have an ICQ account since that would allow you to communicate in real-time whenever each of you were online at the same time. (ICQ is a free service.)
It might also be helpful to establish friendships with people from different areas of the world since that would give you a better opportunity of finding someone online at the same time you were, 24 hours per day.
It is important that you DO find someone to talk to/with. If you don't talk-out your problems, frustrations, etc., you don't get an opportunity to "view" them and consider them from other angles.
Until such time as you develop friendships that you are comfortable with to discuss your inner-most thoughts, i would suggest that you consider starting a journel.
Just write down your thoughts, problems, and questions. Then, over a few days, go back over your journel and see if you have new insights about what you have written. You will find that even though you're only "communicating" with yourself, your sub-consicious mind will start working on your "problems" and start providing you with "solutions". You will start seeing the little "light-bulb" light up when you least expect it.
It IS up to YOU. You can choose to be alone or you can choose to start communicating and sounding off with some of us who are willing to assist you and aid you in your emotional well-being.
Talk is cheap! (It's one of the few things that's FREE!) It not only can save your life, but it can also show you opportunities in which to develop a richer life.
Ethmer
ICQ 34292710

Answer by LadyZora on 7.19.00 3:04 PM
George, I have a suicide story and bad times and everything else that I could put up here about how very depressed I am but I know you don't want to hear them besides, it looks like everyone else here has enough problems to keep any psych ward busy for years. But I will tell you that I know what your going through. Maybe not exactly but I know how it feels to hurt and be depressed and want it all to end. I will tell you that I don't want you to end your life and I mean it. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. You are a person and you deserve to live a happy life without all of the pain you have. I am 18 and I have though of killing myself before. Alot of it for reasons similar to yours. If you want someone to talk to and maybe relate to you please ceremail me or if you have yahoo my ID is LadyZora you can e-mail me at Ladyzora@yahoo.com or my ID on messenger is LadyZora I will be around and I am a pretty good listener. Even if you just want to chat. You don't have to talk about your problems. Sometimes it just helps to have a friend. PLease be strong and don't give in. There are people that care about you and you will be missed.
Love,
Sarah

Answer by connecta on 7.19.00 9:35 PM
I am glad you are reaching out. You have had much empathy and compassion from the members of this community. You have joined the community in a very intimate way. You have made yourself vulnerable by opening up to us, and have learned that most of us are safe. You need to know that there is no such thing as "reverse psychiatry." I don't know any psychiatrists, even bad ones, who respond to people who are hurting by saying something like that.
I have a suggestion that you respond to each person who has responded to you. You can take your time doing this. It is both amazing and wonderful that you can get something positive going with several, perhaps not most, of the people who responded to your question. Sometimes I get more out of the dialogue through ceremail than I do from the original question. You might even be able to help some of the people who have answered YOUR question.
The pain of loss is the grounding emotion of life. Losses don't stop when you are young. They get even more as you grow older and older. Grieving, crying, sobbing freely is something you need to give yourself permission to do. When you do your spirit will be replenished. You will feel more alive and will be able to adapt to each loss. The ones you have had are overwhelming, even shocking. But they are familiar to every one of us who has responded to you, even the joker, who has already tried to apologize for his answer. Many times people who seem cold hearted are horribly blocked emotionally, and try to compensate by making a joke of other people's agony. If they were to allow themselves to feel their own pain then they would be more empathic with that of others. It is interesting and ironic that those people are usually depressed themselves and defending against it by attacking others. This may be true for those calling you names.
You are admirably tender hearted. I am glad. You are courageous. I like you.
If you decide to take my suggestion and respond to some of the people who answered you question, please include me. Thanks.

Answer by dmills on 7.19.00 11:49 PM
first of all i commend you for asking for help. that is the first step in getting better. my son never asked for help i did not know that he was troubled and at the young age of 17 he ended his life. no one had a single clue that there was a problem not even his best friends. if there is any way that i can help i will. i know that it sounds as if things are not so great for your mom at this point but you need to ask her for help. it will also help her heal if she can help you. she can take you to the doctor and seek counceling for the both of you. together you can both get through this. when you feel better about yourself things will fall into place. you will start getting more friends and things will start looking up. how old are you? if you are not comefortable talking to your mom then try a guidance councelor at your high school and they can direct you in the right direction. things seem to happen in threes and it seems that there have been three bad things happen so it is time for three good things to start happening. please do not give up. your mom needs you as much as you need her. please take my advice. ceremail me if you want to talk more. i will be here if you need me. also put your faith in God he does answer prayers. God Bless

What are some GOOD homework excuses, if anybody says anything about it being eaten they get a 1.
(I bet this was George on a good day!!)

Answer by heyteach on 7.9.00 3:58 PM
Don't rule out eaten so fast--computers will eat the document some times--for real!
Now, do NOT think I think my students are lying, because in some cases, I know good and well that as odd as it sounds, it is true. Sometimes I'm skeptical, but overall it won't matter, so why disbelieve them--at least the first time ;)
My car was stolen and my work was in it.
My boyfriend and I had a fight and the work is at his house and I won't go back there!
I left my backpack on the bus and no one has turned it in yet.
My mother took my car to work this morning and my work is in there.
I went on vacation for Spring Break and I lost my syllabus. I did not know what to do.
The list goes on. Now, you said High School, and I teach College, but I do get "concurrent" students (still in High School) and a lot who are just out of H.S. and I'm sure the same excuses apply.
Answer by spudman on 7.9.00 3:30 PM
Here's one that actually happened. A student in my class hadn't done his homework and I asked him why. He said his mother had rented three videos and that they had to watch them that night because they were due the next day. He told me this with a straight face and couldn't understand my amusement. I gave him a zero for the homework assignment.
Answer by prncss on 7.9.00 4:12 PM
These are real excuses I have heard in different classes at my college. The trick is, after giving the excuse, immediately beg to hand it in tomorrow!
1. My printer ran out of ink.
2. My computer crashed.
3. It's done and in my car, but my car broke down and when I got a ride I forgot to take the assignment out of my car.
4. My house burned down.
5. My mother/father/sister/brother/other relative/boyfriend was in a car accident/had a heart attack/was hospitalized two days ago, and I completely forgot about it.
5. My pet ______ died, and I forgot all about it.
Answer by ChrisLK7 on 7.9.00 9:01 PM
A helicopter crashed in my back yard.
. . . But delivery is everything. I once had a guy who was habitually late for work & docking him just became routine for me. One day he came in, late again, & in an impish sort of way said "Mr. K-----, I'm sorry I'm late, but a helicopter crashed in my back yard!" My knees buckled as I laughed & that one was so good, so original, that I told him not to worry about punching in, as I would write in his time instead.
Answer by Pahel50 on 7.9.00 9:13 PM
"Mom worked late and didn't have time to type it. She's working on it right now." He got a B (would have been an A if it had been on time AND it would have had he given it to me more than 8 hours before it was due).
Answer by Ishtar on 7.10.00 2:12 PM
Well I'm at University, but here are some good ones (although University is a bit more lenient in my opinion):
Someone called in sick at work and I had to cover.
I decided that I needed another opinion, and I couldn't find one in time.
Also, if you are female and your teacher is male, use the old "I had to go to the doctor", they'll never ask.
Or you can try (if your school is big and they can't check on this easily) I had three other things due and they were all worth more than this.
Or my parents had a huge fight and I ended up taking my mother to my grandparents house.
Answer by LLDY on 7.13.00 4:06 PM
Here it is right...Oh my goodness, I must have handed it in to Mr. J----. I have his assignment here, and he's gone for the day!!
Well, I was driving my little brother to kindergarten this morning and he got into my notes. Next thing I know, there was paper flying out the open window! The traffic was so fast and heavy, I knew I couldn't go after it!
Assignment? We had an assignment? I must not have been here when it was handed out!
My Mom wanted to surf the Net and she didn't realize that I hadn't saved my assignment. I went to print it out this morning, and it was gone!
Answer by FranBacv on 7.9.00 3:21 PM
My computer crashed, and I don't know how to write by hand.
Answer by breakup on 7.9.00 3:28 PM
Sorry, I submitted it to a KnowPost Soapbox, thinking someone would help me with the answers, and it hasn't been seen since.

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