My Page of Quotes
This thing gets updated almost every day. Someone is always saying something strange. If you wish to have any of these explained, which is a reasonable request, e-mail me, and I'll tell you.
This quote page is now in reversed order (newest quotes first). I like it. Besides, Jenn said it's the only way to correctly make a quotes page, so...
fixed by Greg, a while ago, so now it no longer uses _'s for spacing.
This isn't a quote. I'm just putting it here to !!!
I can't believe it! I actually need another PAGE!!
"I'll live forever or die trying!" -Rob Bloom
dEeAnY: that whole hell idea really gets me.
Cror: I was told I'd probably be sent to heck, where I'd get tortured by the Prince of Insufficient Light for fifteen minutes and then sent to heaven.
dEeAnY: hahaha
dEeAnY: mmmm.... temporary lessened damnation.....
"Put your booty in the machine and shake it." -Katherine
solarkidie: tell me how i'm going to hell for using holy water.. that's funny
Cror: Well, it's not really funny. It's just the damn truth.
solarkidie: hahehhehe..
solarkidie: it's not
Cror: It is.
solarkidie: i was using that holy water the right way
Cror: But you're NOT Christian!!!
Cror: Besides, how can you use it the wrong way?
solarkidie: by dousing your boyfriend in it and licking it off
Cror: Now THAT would be something you'd go to hell for doing.
Cror: And thanks a bunch for the mental image, BTW.
"It sounds like a dead cat. Dying." -Sharon
Heeheehee...
"No matter what it'll cost me, I will NOT have a beard!"-Katherine
"I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam." -Sharon.
"The Church will always take you back. Or they'll bash you to death with blunt instruments, but there's worse ways to die." -- Carl Chisholm, about the Church of Wham (I found this on a website. Anyone recognise the name? Could it possibly be...)
GTorbenson: your room has a lot of character.
Cror: It had seven garbage bags MORE character before my mom cleaned it...
GTorbenson: .. . what about the instruments that aren't ever heard?
GTorbenson: like the sandblocks. I always get the sandblocks.
Cror: I hear the sandblocks.
GTorbenson: that's because you're in the front row.
Cror: I'm in the last row...
GTorbenson: er.. . front from the percussionist's view. :P
GTorbenson: back from the silly conductor's viewpoint. :P
Cror: Which is ironic, because the percussionists see my back, while the conductor sees my front...
"It was in my pants, and I was like 'Whoa! This ain't mine.'" -Sharon
"Aww! It's not as creamy as it promised!" -Katherine
"So, before you take another spoonful, SWALLOW!" -Me talking about ice cream. I swear!
"I've decided to devote my life to becoming a monk of the "Peanut Butter Ass" order." -Katherine
"Just a sec. Let me get my phone out of the drawer." -Sharon while talking to me on the phone.
Cror: Greg, Katherine and Sharon are comparing chest sizes.
Cror: I'm getting frightened.
Cror: Er, I mean "Greg: Katherine and Sharon, etc." Not like you're included or anything.(-Me talking to Greg)
"i say if cooked carrots are done just right... they are heaven in the form of carrots." -Sharon
"You want the monkey? I'll get you the monkey." -Mike Saccoccia to Avi.
"alright.. when guinea pigs make that weird squeak noise... does it mean 'get your hands off muh butt' or 'oooh you are my friend big person'?" -Sharon
WHAT?
Me: How can I have class? I buy my clothes at Walmart.
My Mom's Friend: You can be a classy Walmart shopper.
"um... it has to do with their interior subornetic brain structure, it reacts with pleasure to 'nutty'..." -Dan Reitz when asked why elephants like peanuts. Why DO they, anyway?
"Come on, Katherine. Let's get you some pants." -Sharon
solarkidie: we talked a bit and she said we have to go swimming tomorrow in my pool.. and you too
solarkidie: and greg so we can see if he's buff but i think this is some "inside joke" thing
Later...
solarkidie: ok... well i'm cordially inviting you and your boy to my pool by the lake tomorrow
solarkidie: for a fun in the sun time
Cror: Your pool by the lake? You have a pool by the lake?
solarkidie: just go along with it...
(after a pause)solarkidie: ok.. theres' no lake.. but still
"Cara's after you, isn't she?" -Greg's mom to Greg. Heeheehee. Mayyyyybe.
Dominous15: I got a 91 on my first math test.
Cror: I got 100.
Cror: But, not to brag...
Dominous15: i can drive.
Cror: Yeah, so can Andrea, who also got 100 on her math test.
(after a pause) Dominous15: I have a talking alf doll.
Cror: So?
Dominous15: but no chicken finger sub....Cara
Jackie: Was THAT quoteable?
Me and Greg simultaneously: No.
First you must know that Sharon has a religion called Sharonowannaism. She adds beliefs as she goes along.
Cror: Yes. Don't forget the stalking.
solarkidie: it's a key aspect of sharonwannaism.
Cror: Ahhhhh!
solarkidie: ughh. i spelled it wrong.. i have sined
Cror: sinned, you mean?
solarkidie: no.. i sined than i cosined
Cror: Okay, Sharon's full title is now the "Bisexual Atheist Communist Obsessive Nazi"
Cror: Or, BACON for short.
GTorbenson: LOL! BACON.
Cror: Which is REALLY ironic, considering she's Jewish...
Right after...
solarkidie: alright so i am the school's bacon.. though i don't exactly like the nazi part. it scares me.
solarkidie: but it could do.
"From now on, I'm only buying Men's clothes...I'll finally become the man my mother always wanted me to be." -Katherine
"Avi, I am not Uranus!" -Jason Davidson. Not only did he say this, he yelled it across the crowded commons.
Sharon's mom: Honey, put on some pants.
Sharon: I'm already wearing pants.
Sharon's mom: Not you! (Hmmm, I wonder WHO, then.)
"So...the pillow represents loyalty, and the bedknob represents Christ." -Greg
"But only naked babies float!" -Greg
"Look! I've got funky middle-aged bottles!" -Me
Principal Skinner: Milhouse, tell us a little about the contributions of your country, Poland.
Milhouse: Well, there was the time they sent a rocket to the sun...at night. And then there were the submarines with the screen doors...
dEeAnY: you must fight the dark side!
dEeAnY: use the side dish!!
dEeAnY: the dark side is no match for MACARONI AND CHEESE!!!
"In order to ride, you must have at least one arm, two legs, and sufficient body strength." -Sign by the Ride O Steel (aka, Superman) Six Flags Darien Lake.
"As in "look at the coda on that one." -Mr. Shewan
"Well, I got nuts, and Mike's jealous. He's wants 'em." -Avi Altman. Think beanie babies, or don't.
Me: Alright! That's enough! No more hose!
Katherine: Alright, Sahar. Time to go.
"Yeah, I can make my butt perpendicular." -Sahar
"It's the velcro strip that gets me." -Greg
Mr. Burns: Someone needs to teach you a lesson. Smithers! Take off my belt!
Smithers: With pleasure, sir. (-from the Simpsons, obviously)
"The moral of the story? Beware the next time you hear someone in the low brass section yell out 'Hey, everyone, watch this!'" - from a story on Dana's page.
"We only have one copy that we have to share?!? This is the ghetto Spanish class." -Jay Galante
solarkide: yay.. you're magically linked and i'm going to actually make a shrine to 15 cents boy.. that's how bored and energetic i feel tonight
Cror: Yippee! My idea is accepted!
solarkide: let's just hope he doesn't find it.. that would be more embrassing than cheese. but maybe he'd be flattered and fall hopelessly in love with me.. now all i need is a picture of the back of his head.(-Go see Sharon's shrine to the 15 cents boy!)
"In your life, make sure you take time to stop and taste the Pop Tarts." -Pop tarts commercial
"Wait a minute...I won "Most Likely to Jump Out of the Pit? Didn't a couple people already accomplish that task?" -Me
Avi: (elaborating on a theory of Dan's) So, Katherine. . .who's the lucky guy?
Katherine: (keep in mind, she was joking) You mean, lucky girl?
Later that day...
Avi: Tell me the truth, Cara. Is Katherine a lesbian?
"A quick rule of thumb, Sahar. Never let a drama person NEAR a microphone." -Matt Wilamowski
"Mary Poppins got the same message across, but she did it nicely. You're like a spoon full of whoop-ass." -Grace from Will and Grace.
"I'm quite proud of my uncurviness policy!" -Katherine
"Don't make me come down there! -God" -As seen on a billboard.
"I bet Greg's a big-chested woman." -Katherine
"Having the ability to speak doesn't make you an intelligent being." -Qui Gon Jin (from Star Wars).
solarkidie: i think we have solved the greatest question that man has been asking all along...
solarkidie: where are my biscuits?!?
"I believe it's 'zweet'." -Davy's response when I asked him what a certain note was in a 12-bar blues tune.
Cror: I'm telling you, that kid was looking for Kadi yesterday.
SuperDaiv: hahahaha
Cror: And he looked so depressed that she wasn't there, too.
SuperDaiv: awww....
SuperDaiv: poor creepy freshman dude...
"Okay, Keith. We gotta get some things straight. The first time you did it, it was funny. The second time, it was fine. Y'know, we're buds and all. But I've had enough now. You've gotta stop slapping my ass!" -Avi talking to Keith Bryan.
(It all started out as Dan making wild hand gestures, instead of speaking.)
Sahar: What is he doing?
Me: Well, he refuses to talk around me, now.
Sahar: Why?
Me: Ask him.
After a few more unhelpful hand gestures, Dan gives up and whispers in Sahar's ear. She laughs.
Me: What'd he say?
Sahar: He said "I'll get quoted".
Me: Just for that, I'm quoting you anyway.
Dan: NOOOOOO!!! Rot in hell, woman!
"Tell ya what, I'll just set out a huge bowl of vanilla frosting and a couple of cans of whipped cream, and let my guests go wild." -Me planning my half-birthday party. Yes, my HALF-birthday. Don't feel left out. You can come.
solarkidie: did you hear mr. perricelli talking today about girls today?
Cror: What was he saying?
solarkidie: that it's been scientifically documented that girls can feel a 1 or 2 degree change in temp but for boys they only can feel like 5 or 6 - cause they're freakin' stupid!
solarkidie: i think he's scientifically documented as being a weirdo.
"With that, my cavalier came to escort me off, changing the butter and jam frequently so as not to get the mouse sticky." -from Katherine's story Calling all baboons to Port. I love the reference to Alice in Wonderland!
"Where are my sins? I left them here on the bathroom door but apparently they've gone out with Gabriel for some ice cream." -From the same story as the one above. Read it and her others!
"dEeAnY: SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE WOMAN.
Cror: You're not making any sense!
Cror: Not that this is a new occurance...
dEeAnY: goddamn.. having to explain myself.
dEeAnY: THATS IT.
dEeAnY: i'm not talking around you anymore.
Cror: Oh, so I suppose you're gonna try to give me lessons without talking?
dEeAnY: I can mime!
dEeAnY: do you know semaphore?" -Conversation between Dan and Me
"As any good trombone player knows, part of being a good trombonist is making the loudest and most hideous sound possible." -from a story written by a guy I've never met. The story appears on the website of a girl I've never met.
"Word to your mother." -Some old lady at Bagel Land. I SWEAR she said that!
Mr Kier: What took you so long? What were you doing?
Bill: I was building a fort.
Me: He's staring at your girlfriend again, Dave. I think you should beat him up.
Davy: (with a frightened look) He's staring at me, too.
Me: Maybe he's one of those kinky guys.
Kadi: (being staightforward as usual) You think he wants a threesome?
"Truthfully, I'm insecure about the size of my genitalia." -Davy's sharp response when asked why he was playing the tuba.
"You had to pay someone to teach you how to tongue?" "Well, he is a professional. . . " -Sharon and me
"Oh, yeah, just what I needed to see today. Cleavage against plexiglass. " -Dan Reitz
"There are just too many trombones nowadays. When I was your age, we didn't have trombones. You kids. . . always causing trouble with your marijuana and your 'rap' music and your trombones." -Dan Reitz
"He disapproves of me? He can't disapprove of me! I've known you longer than he has! That's not fair! I'm the one who should be doing all the approving and disapproving. I approved of him! Why doesn't he approve of me? I thought he was nice!" -Nicole
"I was talking to that saxaphone player. . .Mike something or other. He's such a nice boy! Oh! And that crazy Dan Reitz was there, too." -My mom
"Why is there a banana following me?" - Nicole
"Duck! DUCK!!" "How do you duck?" "You don't." -Nicole Sfeir and me playing Goldeneye. That goes along with this next one. . .
"Don't shoot me! I don't have a weapon, yet! All right, if that's the way you wanna play. . .C'mere! I shall smite you with my karate chop of death!" -Me
"Come on, Dave. I'm not that stupid. After all, I DO play trombone." - Me
"I picked her up in Jimmy's bar. She was lying there, so I picked her up. " - Don Brown's Body. Go read the rest!
"I've been de-skirted." -Katherine. NO!! Eww!
"You will be a billionare (if you marry Bill Gates)."
"Chocolate tastes good and Fritos taste good. NEVER dip Fritos in chocolate. Too much of a good thing SUX!"
"May a tribe of Hawaiian mosquitos eat your genitals."
"The worst pick line: Posession is 3/4 of the law. And you're mine."
"If beauty is skin deep, then you have very, very thick skin."
"Hey, chico! Yea you, umm hmm. Uh. Um. . . eww. Ick. Uhh. . . bye."
"So you think you're so smart. Ha! Oh, really. Shut up, I'm not insane. You still here? Arrg! Go AWAY!"
"May a ten-pound baboon fart on your head."
-fortunes from Sahar's personlized fortune teller majiger. I thought they were amusing.
"A baboon will fart on my head?" -Erin Cusker
"My world is falling down around me, and I'd like to drink tea." -Gillian
"Even if you can't keep up your side of a conversation, I can easily keep one up with myself." -Me.
"Frisbeetarianism, n: The belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof, and gets stuck." -Rob Bloom
"I'm glad you licked it." -Marc. It was a freudian slip. Actually, a freudian typo. I swear!
"Katherine, would you please refrain from looking lovingly at my keyboard." -Me
"Silly Cara. Trix are for monkeys." -Marc Laplante
"Yes, Katherine. I AM a bulimic potato sack." -Me
"I am a latino who knows all the words to Fuiste Cruel by heart!" -a phrase I still can't say with a straight face.
"In the words of CJ Buscaglia, 'you must respect the ass.'" -Dan Reitz
"Dear Joe -- As I slide down the banister of life, I'll always remember you as the splinter in my ass. -- Heather" -Heather Fowler most likely doesn't remember signing HIS yearbook...
"dEeAnY: DjRoSeB: heeheh did she see the tent picture?!" -Dan telling me what Dana said. See the picture for yourself!
"Oh, BTW, your mom was awesome last night." -Dan Reitz. Eww! No! Get your mind out of the gutter! You sicko. You disgust me!
"Ahahhaa.. now I'm the unpure villain purple cow girl!" -Sharon, don't ask. Really, trust me.
"solarkidie: tonight i got a DW doll and she's cute and say's "hi sharon i love you allot"
Cror: Does she say Sharon?
solarkidie: yes..
Cror: The doll says your name?
solarkidie: she says.. Sharon.. come and give me some lovin'
Cror: LOL
solarkidie: i swear...
Cror: Sure.
solarkidie: ok fine she doesn't BUT i know she's thinking' it." -IM between Sharon and me
"Da da, da da dada da DaDa da DA! TROMBONE! Da da, da da dada da DaDa da DA! BOB HOPE!!" -I don't even KNOW who to credit this to. The wind ensemble trombone section, I guess.
"Hey look! You've got tunnel vision, too! We were made for each other!" -Davy's comment on one of the scenes in the movie West Side Story
"Cror: But considering all the pictures I have of you, it'll be like a Shrine to Davy.
SuperDaiv: aw jeez like the web really needs another one of those...
Cror: Yeah, I guess they ARE kinda all over the place.
SuperDaiv: you can't swing a deleted matrix without hitting a Davy Shrine these days..." -IM between me and Davy
"Urethra Franklin!" -This is what Avi Altman came up with when trying to think of a famous singer who's name started with "U".
"Yeah, I had the fertilizer bomb all ready." "Hey! I fertilized the bomb!" -conversation between Katherine and Bill. I don't wanna know which meaning of "fertilizer" he was talking about!
"Oh no! I got chocolate on my interrobang!" -Sahar. Wondering what an interrobang is?
"Interrobang- a form of punctuation invented in 1967 by 'some guy'. It is a question mark combined with an exclamation point. It is used to put emphasis on a question. An example of where to use an interrobang would be at the end of the question 'Who the hell are you!?'" -This is actually a real thing, and the definition is almost exactly this. Of course, it was brought to my attention by Sahar.
"Ooo! A box! Maybe I can make it into a hat. Ooo! A pencil! Maybe I can make it into a hat!" -Bill, entertaining me and Sahar.
"My Arabian water bottle does not have to do a Jewish dance." -Sahar
"Cror: Oh, so you hopped on?
solarkidie: yes.. there's allot of hopping going on..
Cror: Is your family turning into bunnies?
solarkidie: yeah.... it's kinda scary but last week we were turtles.. so i guess it's cuter."
-IM between me and Sharon. Watch out for this girl, she's gonna grow up and
revive Saturday Night Live one of these days!
"Brought to you by some berries and a hairy fruit." -This little gem was found on a Fruitopia bottle by Sahar
"Cror: Hmmm...it's a mystery.
SuperDaiv: the world will never know. ;-)
Cror: It's "the world MAY never know".
SuperDaiv: oh yeah. it may figure it out..." -IM between me and Davy
"As we slapped ourselves, a great mooing was heard, and the cow had fallen in!" -From Katherine's Story, And Mr. Ed Hurried on Home. Read the rest of it here
"I think we need to make an emergency evacuation to Mighty Taco." -Christine Krehl. Amen, sister!
"I was NOT talking to the box. I was merely answering it's question." -Katherine
"Someone tell Emma to turn her shirt off!" -A cry from the back of the bus
"Yo Momma!" -Katherine's fish. Don't ask me, yet. I don't know, either.
"Ooo! Karate supplies AND fireworks! Together at last!" -Davy Henning on the way to Cinncinnati
"I wonder if you could get me a can of something. I believe it's called 'whoop-ass'." -Dave Baumgartner
"Adam, if I was as big as you, I'd take you on!" -Dan Reitz to Adam Lammert
"We used to worry a lot about Davy. He never really fit in with the other kids. When everyone else had telephones with cans and string, he had a wireless." -from a Cellular One commercial, but isn't it wierd how it fits?
"I only had a dollar, I didn't know what I wanted more...a Snapple or a cookie. I know both are delicious. I finally came to a solution. My friend gave me a quarter and I bought both." -Kevin Ross's campaign speech. He won.
"The most important financial move I've made in my life was that one day, my friend couldn't decide whether to buy a Snapple or a cookie. So, I gave him a quarter..." -Gino Capozzi's campaign speech at a different assembly.
"In his case, you mean the potato didn't fall far from the cherry tree." -Sahar, discussing someone who will remain unnamed.
"Hey! Look at those children over there!" "Um, those are blinking lights, Katherine." -Katherine and her mom, I think. It doesn't really matter WHO said the second part.
"Now, if we could get the secret garden to bloom while..." "While the snake is...fossilized." -Matt Wilamoski and Dan Reitz. Right after saying that, Dan said to me "This BETTER not show up on your quotes page." Hehehe.
"My bladder is taking over my mind!" -Gillian
"If I were a bird, I would swallow this rock so I could digest my food better." -Katherine, from out of nowhere
"You can shake 'em if you promise not to break 'em, 'cause remember, they're the only pair I got." -Jackie Price, talking about dice, strangely enough
"A poem forced/can damage walls of bone." -My favorite line from Katherine's poem "Liberation Savvy". Read some of her stories.
"ARRRGH!" "URRRRRGH!" "ARRRRRGH!" "URRRRRRRGH!" -Two idiots at work (it's a LONG story)
"MORE ACTION!" "Entertainment for your whole mouth!" -Pop rocks package
"It's like a party in my mouth and EVERYone's invited!" -Me, describing the pop rocks sensation
"I hope I'm not." -Joe Toscano, in response to the above comment
"I know they're taping us. They have to be. There's a microphone in that plum over there." -The infinite wisdom of Sahar
"What would you do with a jar of monkeys and what species of monkey would they be?" -Katherine
"Hmmm...what what WOULD I do with a jar of monkeys? And what kind of monkeys WOULD they be?" -Dave Schwartz
"'Tis a lovely day for a race." -Me to Katherine
"Always look for the pony in the horse manure." -from East's "Motivational" Assembly
"But...THERE IS NO PONY!!!$^%#&!@$^!$@" -Greg
"Now we groove. And grooving's half the battle." -Dan Reitz
"Coincidence? I think NOT!" -Sahar Maddah
"It'd sound really good...if they harmonized..." "How can you harmonize with Dan?" -Me and Katherine, respectively
"How will I contact him?" "You can send him a telegram...CALL HIM ON THE PHONE, OF COURSE!!!" -Katherine and Erin Cusker, respectively.
"How much are YOU willing to pay for a cheeseburger?" -Gillian O'Connell
"How can he be hot if he's dead? Don't people get cold when then die? Unless they're put in a furnace, of course. Are we in a furnace?" -Katherine Indovina
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