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Arafat wanted a special postage stamp issued with his picture on it.
He so instructed his people, stressing that it should be of international quality.
The stamps were duly released and Arafat was pleased. But within a few days of release of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and he became furious.
He called the people responsible and ordered them to investigate the matter. They checked the matter out at several post offices,and then reported the problem to Arafat .
Report said, "There is nothing wrong with the quality of the stamp. The problem is people are spitting on the wrong side."
A little old lady called 911.
When the operator answered she yelled, "Help! Send the police to my house right away! There's a damned republican on my front porch and he's playing with himself."
"What?" the operator exclaimed!
"I said there is a damned republican on my front porch playing with himself! Please send the police!" the little old lady repeated.
"Ma'am, how do you know he's a republican?"
"Because, you damned fool, if he were a democrat, he'd be screwing somebody."
An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I'm Kobe Bryant, the best NBA player. The Lakers need me. I can't afford to die." So he took the first pack and left the plane.
The second passenger, George W. Bush, said, "I'm the President of the United States and I have a great responsibility, being the leader of a superpower nation. Everyone is depending on me to rid the world of terrorism. America's people won't let me die." So he took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.
The third passenger, Hillary Clinton, said, "I am the wife of the former President of the United States and I am also a New York Senator and potential future President. In fact, I am the most ambitious woman in the world and the most clever woman in history." So she put on the pack next to her and jumped out of the plane.
The fourth passenger, Billy Graham, said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolboy, "I am old and frail and I don't have many years left, so as a Christian, I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."
The boy replied, "It's okay Mr. Graham, there's a parachute left for you. The most clever woman in history just took my backpack."
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