OUR MISSION STATEMENT
The Cartman Clan may just seem like a group of unknowns to you, communicating through wires and modems, posting on the public forum of the Internet, attempting, as with thousands of others, to get yor attention. Well, you'd probably be right. We'd love to get your attention. We'd love to keep it. We just love people listening to what we have to say.
And being a Clan of Internet users, we do have certain goals. We are out here for something. Whereas you'd like to believe that we don't really exist, we do. By reading this site, you're losing a small part of your being. What part? Well, probably about five or ten minutes worth... it's not much, but it's something. In fact, we've probably rescued you. Rescued you from spending those ten minutes doing something less entertaining, like checking the stock market channel on TV, bringing your empty bottles to the corner store for the small amount of money, or changing your cat's litter box. Think about it. Wouldn't you rather be learning about the Cartman Clan? Of course you would.
But back to our goals. We do exist for something. We all have common goals, we must, because the Clan has never met one another. We probably never will. And come to think of it, basically all those goals have something to do with South Park. Hey, maybe that's where the name came from. But regardless, the Clan would feel that they've accomplished their goals, if even one person began watching South Park because of us. Or if even one person laughed at some of our South Park stuff. Or if even one person took the time to send us and e-mail with their suggestions. Are we serious? No. Just one person won't do it. We want as many people as possible to be influenced by us. We want to make an impact, albeit small, in your consciousness. We'd like it best if we got the delightful voice of Cartman stuck in your head to the point where you go insane. Well, maybe not the last part. It'd be best if there weren't a sudden flood of insanity cases due to us. But nonetheless, we are here to make a difference. What kind of difference? Well, we don't know. Why are we different? Well, we don't know that either. But we say we're different, and in our eyes, that's good enough. And who are you to question?
HISTORY OF THE CARTMAN CLAN
The original concept of the Cartman Clan was devised, incidentally, by its two founders, SuperCartman and Vulturus, back in mid-1998. While the two were enjoying a game of Acrophobia in the same room, Vulturus was heard to suddenly blurt out, "SUPERCARTMAN!!". SuperCartman did not know who this strange person was, so he simply responded, "VULTURUS!!" The two began to talk, and apparently, Vulturus was a big fan of South Park and noticed SC's really cool name. As the two talked, they discussed other groups in Acrophobia known as Clans, who came together based on similar interest, geographical placement, age, or some other aspects. The idea came about to start a new Clan, a Clan comprised of South Park fans, who could be the best representatives of our beloved show in the Acrophobia environment. And since "Cartman" and "Clan" both start with "C", it seemed only logical to call this new faction the Cartman Clan. When SC and Vulturus presented this idea to the rest of the Acrophobia room, two more players: Crash71 and budYzer came forth and expressed interest in this Clan. Thus, the Cartman Clan was born. Nothing really happened for quite a while. SC and Vulturus would simply enter Acrophobia and run around proclaiming "ALL HAIL THE CLAN!" Then, in the search of new members, SC and Vulturus recruited other players by the name of NickD, Prodigy Fan and Pyro14. Unfortunately, contact was quickly lost with these three people, as well as Crash71. So basically, the Clan was down to three people. Then, yet another idea sprang forth from SC's head: why not a website? Why not give the Cartman Clan a website? Vulturus and budYzer of course loved the idea, and the story of the Cartman Clan Homepage began to unfold.
THE CARTMAN CLAN HOMEPAGE
Sure, every other Acrophobia Clan had its own website, why not the Cartman Clan? Of course there wasn't really much to put on the page; and SC was very inexperienced at HTML; nonetheless, in June of 1998, the Cartman Clan Homepage first hit the Internet. The design was crude, it was slow to load, and the only sections it had were what you see in the current "Cartman Clan Stuff" section of the site (but without "Our Loyal Supporters"), but it was something. The Cartman Clan was online at https://www.angelfire.com/on/CartmanClan. Soon, SC began to discover all the free service providers on the Internet; LinkExchange, VantagePoll, World1000, Guestworld, and more, and figured that the more of them he tossed on his website, the better it would be. Now, that's all a matter of opinion. Either way, for the next little while, the site wasn't much. There wasn't any South Park material, and the hideous design of the site seemed to turn off the few visitors the site may have collected. However, in September of 1998, the site got an Overhaul. It was the first Cartman Clan Homepage Overhaul, and it certainly wasn't the last. If you read What's Old at the Clan you can get a description of all that has been changed and updated from September 6, 1998 up until the current day. There have been many content and layout changes in that time, but things basically stayed the same. Then, in December of 1998, an offer was made for the Cartman Clan Homepage to move to www.spzone.com/cartmanclan. It was a tougher decision for SC than you may think; what was originally a simple page intended only for promoting the Cartman Clan; what it ready for all this? For one day, the answer was yes. But, one of the Internet's many brilliant hackerz decided to bust into spzone.com and clear out their files on January 2, 1999. So, as a result, we're back at home at Angelfire. For how long is unclear. Maybe forever. Or maybe not. Only time will tell.
CARTMAN CLAN MEMBERS
As of June 1998, the Clan's first month, its members were the two founders, SC and Vulturus, and budYzer. In July of '98, the first application for membership came in; it was from a Canadian girl calling herself SoUtHpArK``. She was accepted into the Clan and it was decided at this point that these four would be the Cartman Clan Core. It was also decided that from that point forward, only players of Acrophobia would be accepted into the Clan. Although we may have strayed quite a bit from our original purpose in these past six months, I refuse to sell out the one principle that was the center of the Cartman Clan from its very beginning. Anyway, these four people were the Clan as we went through the site overhaul in September '98, until Jazz was accepted in early October of '98. Then, in mid-October, ChristmasPoo was accepted as the 6th member of the Clan. Things went pretty smoothly for a little while, until a controversial entrance by Aaron "Bigfoot" was made into the Clan in late December of '98. It's a controversy so twisted, so strange, so filled with deceit and despair that must be concealed from the public at all costs. That means you. Anyway, that's the story of the Cartman Clan in 1998. Now that we're beyond that, there's no need to keep you up-to-date with every little detail on this page; just check out the main page occasionally for all the info you'll need.
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