~Kari
"Shiz. Did anything just happen?"
"I dunno, dude."
"I think I'll bet my luck, luck's coming back my waaay..."
"Aww yeah. Shake yo booty!"

Tara: i met these duders.....
Tavis: reawy? the Voodoo Daddies?
Tara: yes....i love them dearly. Dirk dubbed me precious.
Tavis: great...put on the CD
Tara: he's my best friend
Tavis: CD....CD....CD!
Tara: (drifting away) he kissed my hand......
Tavis: (shaking Tara) DUDE! put in the CD already!!!!!
Tara: this music is good and all, Tav, my hungry little pet...but.....
Tavis: but what?
Tara: i've got waaaaaaay better
Tavis: *gasp* you do? but Kari said-
Tara: yes i know wut she said but i'm talking about something better
Tavis: wut could be better besides Issac Hayes?
Tara: *wipps out CD* THIS!
Tavis: who are they?
Tara: the Blue Hawaiians. they opened for the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. THIS is the shit that gets you in da mooooooood
Tavis: i dont understand....
Tara: dude....this isnt just swing with occassional love songs...this is swing to have SEX TO!!!!!! it's make out swing! it's HOT NOOKY SWING!
Tavis: *gasp....falls over* WOW!
Tara: i know.....wanna put it in? no pun intended....
Tavis: oh you know it!!!! *puts CD in and goes to push play when....*
Dan: *busting open dorr with Kari wiping mouth* WE'RE HERE!!! Everyone! let's go!
Tavis and Tara: FUCK!

* tara *

Kari: Dudes, sorry. But wouldn't you rather have hot passionate ballege when you actually are into it and not just relieving yourselves?
Tavis: I guess...
Dan: Kari... go put on that shiney pink dress we found in Aaron's closet.
Kari: Yeep. Okay, dude.
Tara: Dan. You might want to zip your fly.
Dan: *turns red* Ohh... yeah... you know... sometimes I just forget to do stuff.
Tavis: Well, let's get this party started.

~Kari
(if you changed the i to L it'd be KARL! Hah! Punk rock!!)
PS- No motivation. Take it away, TARA! Woo!

*at the Aquabats show*
Tara: well.....where the hell is Diana?!
Aaron: i dont know....she said she'd be here.....
Dan: should we check the Aquabus?
Tavis: good ideer, Dan the man
* at the Aquabus *
Aaron: Diana? Hellooooo?
Kari: i dont see her
Tavis: cheeeerist!

....to be continued when i get home from babysitting.......
* tara *
(the monster trucker)

From: WhyDoIRockSoHard@xxx.xxx
the aquabats don't have a bus! they are poor and they only get a van!

johnny vega$ well this is my section of the story and by golly, those whores are gonna have an Aquabus!

* tara *
-dude...chase
-yeah?
-i have never in my life seen a dog pee for that long

Scott: calm down party peoples....i'm sure she's here somewhere.....
Matt: dammit...where in the fugg could she be?
Carlos: *picking wedgie* keep looking
Kari: *mumbling to Tara* told him he couldn't handle the damn thong
Tara: that's hispanics for ya.....
Aaron: wait....do you guys hear that?
Scott: hear wut?
Aaron: shhh....
Unknown Source: * muffled sounding* ngjeinsbitehbnjeinvjibhentrie
Tara: it's coming from that glove compartment!
Aaron: *opens it and out falls...you guessed it....Diana!* Dude!
Diana: Oh thank Buddha you found me! I thought I'd be in that glove compartment forever!
Tara: That's Asians for ya....
Aaron: *clutching his chick* we thought we'd never find you!
* face suckege....jeopardy music.....*
Diana: wow, heeeey!
Tavis: why were you in that glove compartment Diana?
Diana: jeepers! i'll tell you all the whole story! The Aquabats! They're at it again!
Scott: *scratching his head* at wut?
Diana: dressing up all crazy like and changing their names and wut not! Oh, and Scott......
Scott: yes?
Diana: *punches Scott* that's fer munchin on my man
Tara: that's Jews for ya......
Scott: sorry....you know how tempting he can be....
Diana: TRU!
Aaron: WORD!
Dan: wut does the Aquabats have to do with anything again?
Diana: oh roiiiiight roiiiiiight......
Carlos: i thought you were FRIENDS with the Bats?
Diana: i AM! They've just gone a little kooky! They've joined forces with the Hippos and and and....they want to take over the world!
Matt: well we should really do something
Tara: shit! let's go!
Tavis: WAIT! Dudes! I mean you even know the whoel reason why we even came here was to throw Diana a stinkin party!! I NEED MY MOJO FLOWIN!
Dan: Tavis! Don't you see that we have an issue now? The Bat's are going crazy and all you can think about is-
Tara: bada-boom bada-bing!
Tavis: now you're bouncin on my thing!
*giggles*
Tara: sorry....MU330 moment there....
Diana: wait...wut?
Aaron: *wiping mouth* we'll explain later
Diana: ah, ok.
Scott: wait you guys!
Us Guys: wut?
Scott: would it really be so bad if the Aquabats took over the world?
Tara: Dude...we'll all have to wear funky spandex night and day
Kari: oh sweet Buddha noooooo!
Aaron: shit, i wouldnt mind that much!
Diana: even during winter?
Aaron: woah i didnt think about that.....we better go do something!
Tavis: *mumbling* i'm about to do something
Tara: one.....someONE.......patience........
Tavis: the things i do

alright woohoo!
oh and by the way! if anyone would care to help me out! If you plan on going to see the Aquabats and the Hippos Dec7th at Fu Bar in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida please call me and give me a ride either there or back! thank you!
* tara *
(ready to rock)

From: WhyDoIRockSoHard@xxx.xxx
*from out of the shadows*

Ryan: Must I teach you EVERYTHING? Of course the Bats wanna take over the world! If you refer to "The Aquabats Theme Song" it says, and I quote, "First we'd take over the world, then we'd return again". But, you silly guys, that is only because they need to defeat the evil Space Monster M, who has enslaved their home land of Aquabania and is out to destroy the world. Nothing big. They just wanna take it over so they can unite everyone and save us all. That and they don't wear spandex, the shirts are wetsuits made by Aleeda Wetsuits and Fine Neoprene products, and the shorts are just regular board or skating shorts bought from Channel One Skateboards and Billabong Surfgear. Geesh. Get it straight Diana!! Okay, back to the shadows with me, kids. And remember, it's not the size of the battle... it's the fury!

*fades back into the shadows*

Johnny Vega$

Did I just hear a WHABAM! or did I just hear a WHABAM!?
Aww suky now.
~Kari-sabi

Diana: *crying now* Honest mistake! I'm sorry!!!
Aaron: *holding Diana* That Ryan. I can't believe him sometimes.
Kari: Where were we?
Tara: Something about taking over the world?
Dan: We can't find the Aquabats.
Tavis: So?! Who cares?! Can we PLEASE throw this DJ her party?
Aaron: Let's vote on it. Carlos?
Carlos: Sure. Scott?
Scott: Yeah. Kawwi?
Kari: Totally. Tata?
Tara: YES! Dan?
Dan: I don't care. Tav?
Tavis: NOW! Please. Bitch? I mean, Matt?
Matt: Whatever. *sucks down a beer*
Diana: Yay! Woohoo! Throw me my damn party!
Aaron: *snaps his fingers and two figures appear* This is only the beginning.
Diana: *SQUEAL!* It's Andrew and Grant! Hehe! Yay!!
Kari: Wow... the other trombone player... *Begins walking toward Grant*
Dan: *grabs Kari* Not so fast.
Kari: Must... touch... greatness...
Grant: *giggles* Hehehe. That's right. You know you want it.
Andrew: Chill with it now.
Tavis: Where's the music?! A party can't be a party without MUSIC!!
Aaron: Oh. Yeah. *pops in a party mix and everyone starts dancing*
Dan: *dancing with Kari... talking to Grant* So. How's loser life been?
Grant: Almost as good as it used to be.
Dan: Oh, really? Done any gigs?
Grant: Nah. I'm letting my boner rest for a while.
Dan: *chuckles* Whatever, dude.
Aaron: Okay! Stop the party! *Record skips* It's time to pay pin-the-tail-on-the-drunken-loser-idiot! Today's celebrity guest is... Mark from Blink182! Yay! How much does everyone hate this bastard?!
Kari: OOOH! Memememememememe!
Diana: Hehehe. Calm yourself, poodle.
Tara: Yeah, word.
Aaron: Who wants to go first?
Tavis: I do. *Growls and takes the pin from Aaron*
Aaron: Here, we've got to blindfold you and spin you around 10 times. *blindfolds Tavis and spins him around 10 times*
Tavis: *throws the pin on the ground, staggers around until he figures outwhere Mark is* Stupid ass bastard. Here's what you get for not being able to sing!
Announcer: Whabam! Tavis blows a left hook!
Kari: What the freakin?...
Mark: Oww. Stop it.
Dan: My turn!!
Announcer: And the ass-kicking commences! Kaplow! Dan hits Mark below the belt! Oh, you know that's got to hurt!
Diana: Not if he doesn't have anything DOWN THERE, Mister Announcer Man.
Announcer: Hahaha. Good one, Astroturf.
*winkege among the Announcer and the DJ*
Kari: Ooh, oooh! I want to kick some notsopunkass! *starts kicking Mark in the stomach* Tell Travis I said hello, macaroni and cheese wannabe!
Announcer: Ooh! That was cold!
Mark: Please! Quit!
Tavis: *stops kicking Mark's ass* Oh, okay.
Dan: *stops, too* Yeah. Fine.
Kari: *still continues to kick Mark* And that's for writing that song that made me think of my boyfriend... and that's for looking too good... and that's for being a dick at Warped.... and that's for ... uhh... and that's for Travis! Yeah, yeah! That's for Travis!!!
Andrew: Kari. Stop it.
Kari: *panting* I just... don't know what took over me... *runs into Dan's arms and begins to cry*
Tavis: Are we done yet?
Carlos: *runs up to Mark on the floor and kicks him once* And THAT is for not coming over that one night!
Scott: Umm, dude?
Announcer: This is too weird for even me. I must be on my way.
Diana: Heheh. That was great, you guys. I enjoy seeing big-radio bands being mauled to death.
Aaron: It's not over yet.

~Kari
(Please don't be angry if you like Blink182. I like them, too. Mark just... is... not my friend right now. Kablooie!)

Tara: wut's going on? kinda sceeeeered!
Tavis: let me hold you....
Dan: um....this party is kinda being a little wierd
Diana: its missing a little something
Aaron: hm..well we'll get to that later.....
Diana: no i mean......
Tara: WAIT!!!! Diana! I know wut we need!
Diana: you do?
Tara: yes! hold on! just let me rummage through my trusty Butterfly/PornStar Bag and......
* random articles fly out of B/PS Bag....rubber chicken, phonics monkey, few ex boyfriends, visine,....*
Tara: AH-HA!!!! there you are!
*pulls the ever rockin Kara's Flowers out*
Diana & Aaron: SHIT YES!!!!!! ROCK!!!!!
Diana: i fucking love this!!! *hugs Tara*
Tara: cant breathe......
Jesse: woah is there a party goin down?
Carlos: shit...it's kara's flowers!
Tara: Hi Adam...
Adam: um...hi
Tavis: Hi Adam...this is Tara my CHICK!
Adam: um ok
Tara: hi Adam...
Mickey: um....how about some jammege?
Aaron: YES! YES! PLEASE!
Kara's mutherfucking Flowers: the crowd was getting old...the disco's back or so i'm told.....
Tavis: i'm beginning to feel sompin....
Tara: dude! TavMaster! wuts happening to yourself? you're getting color in your face!
Tavis: as you are!
Kari: it's your mojo coming back...*tosses Tara some taco sauce* extra spicy...you go girlfriend
Tara: i will freaky freak
Kari: give em hell chica
Tara: only cuz he's the hottest hottie
*laughter*
Tavis: oh man score

* tara *
18 days till the hippos

Dan: Now get your asses a room!
Diana: And some bean bags!
Tavis: Yay! Happy birthday, Diana! *leaves*
Tara: Even if it's a month or two late!
Aaron: Yay for Kara's Flowers!
Kari: Yes. Yay... I guess?
Diana: *eyes Kari* You guess? What do you mean, you "guess"?!?!?!
Kari: Oww! Dude, I'm, just, like... not having any fundege to get these CD's of these bands everyone's been shoving down my throat!
Diana: Oh.. okay... then.
Aaron: But still, you need Kara's Flowers edumacation, too.
Kari: Well, I've heard of the little fuckers, but I'm not like... Matthew Lillard when he gets excited or anything.
Diana: Matthew Lillard is awesome.
Kari: Hell yeah, he is. He had plaidege in SLC Punk.
Dan: *runs around in circles to the music* That is the best fucking movie!
Aaron: Yeah! But Mods can beat the shit out of punks!
Matt: I beat the shit out of your mom last night...
Scott: Dude! Mods unite! But... we're not mods. We're... we're... somewhere in between...
Aaron: Whatever. Yay for Kara's Flowers!!

*Kari stares mindlessly at a Biology book, hoping for the words to make sense if she stares at them long enough. Alone in a room with green carpet, she is wearing an oversized I Hate Reel Big Fish shirt and her friend's LTJ neckalce.*

Kari: DAMMIT! That's it! I can't fukin do this crap anymore!!!! *breaks her pencil and then laughs evilly* I know what I'll do! I'm going to hire a hitman and have him lay the WHABAM on her ass! Just like that! Have her screamin' for weeks!!
Tara: *walking in* Dude, are you okay? It sounds like a freakin orgy in here. First there's frustration and then the climax...
Kari: What? No. But, yeah. I'm okay. I'm just studying for my exams is all.
Tara: I was doing that... but then I realized that I didn't need that shit! So I said, "Fuck exams!" and went and had a steamy bath with Tav. I mean, you don't have to graduate high school to be a rockstar! And that's what you're going to be, anyway, Miss R.I.T. (Rockstar in Training)!!
Kari: Whippee!! Yay! it's like... I need someone who can do this stuff and I need them to take my test for me... because I'm a dork and I have to get A's or I get condemned to my room. And I don't like my room.
Tara: Well, hey, you can always look at it this way... it will be over soon... and then there's a really long break and you have tons of time to chill and cuddle.
Kari: *eyes glaze over* Ooh... cuddling...
*As if on cue, the five manly-men (Scott's a girl [Kidding]) walk into the Room of Severe Bitch-Ass Studyege*
Carlos: Word.
Tara: Hey homie.
Kari: I don't fucking care about DNA replication!!! IT HAPPENS! THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! FUCK me.
Dan: Dude. Put the book down. Just put the mothering book down.
Kari: And ecological systems?! It's all BOOTY!
Dan: KARI! Easy! Now, give me the book.
Kari: No, dude. No. *gives Dan the evil eye*
Dan: Give me the fukin book! Would you? Cripes.
Kari: *clutches book to chest, begins to cry* I must study... Have to... commit 650 pages to memory by tomorrow.
Tara: Something's wrong.
Aaron: She's being a nerd.
Dan: Yeah, dude. This is weird. This is so not like Kari.
Tavis: *reaches in pockets, pulls out a packet of HOT Taco Bell taco sauce (Kari's favorite), waves it in front of Kari's face* Dude?
Kari: *rocking back and forth, muttering* And the endoplasmic reticulum acts like the ribosomal transport... like a subway... choo-choo train... choo... choo.
Matt: It's not her, it just can't be.
Scott: It's the... the... ANTI-KARI!
Dan: Oh, no! WHY? Why her? What did she do to deserve this??
Aaron: *a light bulb appears over his head* No, dude. It's not the anti-Kari... she's still there. See, look at her necklace. She's always worn that ankh. And Pez is still coarsing through her veins... it's just...
Tara: Just what, man?! Fucking tell me, biznatch! I want to know what happened to my FRIEND!!!!
Aaron: Remember when she died that one time and she said that Kevin Bacon had poisoned her?
Carlos: Not that dickface!
Aaron: The poison has advanced into her system and it has made her a dork.
Dan: Is it permanent? Aaron, is it?!
Aaron: *profile shot, crying* There's no telling, kid. There's just no telling.
Kari: *still mumbling, rocking back and forth* Then the transfer RNA with its amino acid comes and joins to the messanger RNA and the amino acids make polypeptide chains and then your mom has proteins and the little red riding hood fucks the big bad wolf's socks off.
Scott: Oh my God, she's making sense!
Tavis: Please! Make it stop! There has to be an end to this... education!!!
Dan: *puts his arms around the still jabbering Kari* I'm sorry that this had to happen to you. We'll fix it.
Carlos: ...Somehow.

~K-Funk
(Take it awaaaayyy Taaara!)
"And your mother, also, Punk Rock Karl..."

Tara: *poppin a sugar cube* now we gotta think.....wut would brian boitano do?
Tavis: overkill, hun...
Tara: but i love saying it so!
Dan: this is serious you guys come on!
Tara: *poppege* hmm........
Tavis: babe, stop it with the fuckin cubes. this shit's gonna ruin your life.
Kari: *twitching* e=mc your fat mom in a box with aristotle....
Dan: heh....love it when she talks dirty to me.....
Tara: dahahaha! good one, Dan my boy! *pop*
Tavis: alright thats it! no more cubes!
Tara: come on! just one more!
Tavis: sorry, kitten but i think you've had enough
Tara: *grabbing his shirt collar* I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH! FUCKER!
Kari: daaaaahhhhh! *twitch*
Scott: hey......wait a minute......
ALL: wut?
Scott: Tara.....are any of your cubes missing?
Tara: well i kinda noticed that but you know...the cubes give ya the paranioa so i figured that was it
Scott: i think our little Kari here got into your box to help her study more.
Aaron: shit.....like speed?
Scott: mmhmm....
Tara: FUCKER! she's been stealin my stash!!!
Kari: *cross-eyed* i've got a lov-el-y bunch of coconuts! deedle dee dee dee! there they are standin in a row! bum bum bum! big ones small ones some the size of yer head.....
Matt: this is serious dudes....
Dan: how do we fix her?! she's ODin on my ass!
Tara: *wiping her mouth* uh.....shit....we could do a routine stomach pumpege
Carlos: wait....were you just.......did you just wipe your mouth?
Tavis: *on floor* wow! yer gettin sneaky on me!
Carlos: wow, you're getting good with the whole superspy thing.
Tara: thanks!
Dan: you guys come on! can we try to save the day once w/out having some kind of sexual innuendo?
*all give him looks*
Dan: heh....word.

i'm having blockege........
* tara *
funky not a junkie but i know where to get it!

Aaron: How do we get her unhyped? Is there any possible thing that will make her just crash?
Dan: Well, there is one thing. She has one weakness.
Tara: What, duder?
Dan: It's just... freakin'... scary. Her weakness is something that I'm sure none of you want to put up with.
Matt: As long as it's not anal monkey sex I think we'll be okay.
Dan: Her weakness is... Paula Cole.
*everyone gasps... Tara squeeks, and Scott begins to laugh*
Scott: That's funny, Dan. No, seriously, what is it?
Dan: Dude, do you think I would lie in fuking times like these? The rad duder that muches my Poke-ballz is over there convulsing over some stupid test! I DO NOT LIE!!!!!!
Scott: Cheese, okay. But, isn't Paula Cole a little... uhh... extreme?
Aaron: Yeah, dude... she's all, Jew Fuzzy underneath her arms.
Matt: It's freaky.
Dan: That's the only that that will work, dude. I'm sorry and all, but... we need to fix Kari and... 'tis da only waaaay.
Tara: Oh, dude! Sixth grade, dude!! *whips out Paula Cole CD* Mwahahaha.
Tavis: Kinda sceeered!!
Tara: *popping in sugar cube... searching for something* Where is the mummafugin... CD PLAYER! Score! Yay! *pops in CD, plays 'Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?'*
Kari: And z times x is always y because I poked your mother in the eye with my pene! Muy bonito! You muy fieo! Se habla English, POR FAVOR! No molestar grande pene!
CD Player: Whhhhheeere hhhavve alll the cooowboooyss goone? Ahhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Aaron: Shit, this shit's bad. It's hurting my ears. Stoppit.
Carlos: I bet you that the cowboy's got lost in her endless pit hair.
Kari: Aieeeeeeeeee badeedee a bum, bum, boooway. The liiooon sleeps tonight.
Dan: Kari, dude?
Kari: *gets up, begins skanking* When I'm in the pit, I'm gonna punch and kick... when I'm in the pit, I'm gonna... bleep bleep bleep (censored versions suck) Got my I Hate RBF t-shirt on, no steel toe Doc Martins on my feet, yeah, I run around in a little triangle, wondering who to beat...
Aaron: Yay! She's back to normal!
*And the skankege commences*

~Kari
(And you know it's really great to punch somebody right in the face)

From: "Laura Megivern" mswm@hotmail.com
"I poked your mother in the eye with my pene! Muy bonito! You muy fieo! Se habla English, POR FAVOR! No molestar grande pene!"
literal translation (from the spanish 4 chick:)
"I poked your mother in the eye with my penis! very pretty! you very ugly! (if spelled feo) speak english to him/her, PLEASE! don't to bother (if it's supposed to be a commmand, don't bother) the big penis!"

Laura
soy brillante! (i am shiny)

From: Smock241 Smock241@excite.com
We've got some sick people on this list.... KARI!! Of course there's nothing wrong with that though.. :)

*ashley*

Dude, I'm more fluent than I could have ever imagined! I almost made sense! Isn't that great? Leave it to Laura to translate. :) Anyway... I've gone on a rant like that and have said similar stuff... but my Spanish accent is so fake it's funny. I love it! And... I'm surprised that I even spelled feo close to what it was. I pick up stuff from my Spanish halfway speaking friends... and when I was in Cancun, I learned how to say, "Please do not disturb," and "Can I have another beer?" The things I say to survive.
*happy sigh*
Oooh... and Ash, can it, dude! I'm still dghsjdhgkjdhsg about the TalkCity thingie... they couldn't connect! Baahh! And Ryan! Dan has to be asked the holiday question, by cracky! Tell them to never schedule stuff with TC again! It frozey my computer and that makes Kari a SAD panda!! Stupid ZOMBIES! Ahhahahahaha... too much sugaarr...
My brother is playing the Wu Tang playstation game... can you say... DORK much? Mmm.
Ooh. Prep (Meghan), I really want to go see Edna's and I thinky if we start planning we may be able to work something out. Word. And Ry, you should go. With Matt and Meghan and Moon Ska boy so I CAN KICK HIM! WHABAM with the Doc Martin action!
Why am I so hyper, you ask? BECAUSE IT'S OVER! FOR NOW! WHOOHOOO! I hate school and I love not being in it!
These are the times when I am very happy that the world is religious. I likey holidays.

~Kari
(I just got my Sublime CD back from my brother! God! It's been like 385798473986 years!! Got the microwave, got the VCR... got the .22 in the trunk of my car!)

From: Rachel Hoover starryeyed@ameritech.net
Same here Kari, SAME HERE! i am so glad not to have school on monday...and i get to go to swing class for 2 hours tomorrow! wahoo!
***Rachel***
(i likey holidays too * *)<----me being starryeyed!
. \_/