Kari: Dammit, Zippo Guy! I thought we kicked your ass way back in episode 5!
Ariel: No, that was installment 8... or was it 3?
Zippo: Who cares? All that matters is I'm here... and I wanted to get in on the action.
Kari: No way, dude! It's like... you can't be EXACTLY like Aaron! No one can match his happy trail, his glimmery eyes, *gets sappy* the way he holds you tight when he says he loves you...
Ariel: WHAT?!
Kari: ...The way he goes home, fucks the sleeve of his favorite jacket... *trails off*
Zippo: Oh, but I can match Aaron. I am his spot on match. I even have the same burp day.
Ariel: *strokes his chin like those scary guys do when they think* Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Kari?
Kari: That Pop Rocks with hot nooky is a good idea?
Ariel: Well, besides that...
Kari: My underwear are pretty?
Ariel: Yes, yes, that is all true.... But... I was thinking that maybe, just mayyyybeeee Zippo Guy and Aaron are twins that were separated at birth.
Kari: That's just too weird dude, that's just too weird. It's almost like we should fucking call in Scooby Doo and the Gang and have them solve the mystery.

~Kari
(Who doesn't feel like writing any more right now. She's angry with the boyfriendege. I will NOT lose this one! IT NEVER... GETS... ANY... EASIER!!!!!!!!)

Ariel: *stares at Zippo Guy, rubbing his temples and making noises like an elephant reaching its climax* Oooh... aaaah... YEAH, YEAH! YES! SAY MY NAAAAAAAME!
Kari: Umm, Jew?
Ariel: Shh. *concentrates a little bit harder and lazers emit from his eyes and start frying Zippo Guy kinda like those scary Powerpuff Girls dolls*
Zippo: Oww! Stop! That hurrrrts! *Poof!*
Kari: Yay! My hero! *Snuggles Ariel, then throws him away from her* Wait.
Ariel: A-wha?
Kari: I don't heart you anymore.
Ariel: *gasp* You what?!
Kari: Well, I do. But it's like this, ya see... I was just all caught up with the Hippos and Jewish nose bumpege because I had seen you guys live so many times when I hadn't seen my Fishy boys. BUT now I have come to terms with myself and have realized that they ARE better than you!
Ariel: *frowns* I'm gonna cry... I really think I am.
Kari: Whoa, dude. I didn't mean it that harshly. I do still heart you, though, because you're actually a Jew and you're lefthanded and you have rockstar breath.
Ariel: *giggles* Heehee, okay. So... maybe we can PICK this up later?
Kari: Yeah! Definitely! You know me and my ho ass!
Ariel: *huggles Kari* Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Kari: Adios, gringo!
------------
Kari: *running around the Reel Big Bus, hopping over various drunken and passed out people* TAAAAAAAAAARA! Wednesday! Buttercup! Ho!!
Scott: *lifts up his head and says all slurred and drunken like (not that he doesn't always talk like that or anything)* She'sa'ova'wif'Taaaaaaaaaavis....
Kari: Thanks, Scott. It figures, ya know? *rubs his head lightly*
Scott: Daddy, don't touch me there!
Kari: *knocks on the doors to the bunks* Umm... Tara?
Tara: *from behind the door* Hang on! I gotta wash these Pixie Sticks offa Tavis!
Kari: Whoa, they like it kinky, don't they?
Tara: *opens the door enough to stick her head through* Hey! How'd it go with Jew-boy?
Kari: That's what I came here to talk about, can I come in? *barges in anyway and sees Tavis lying naked on the bed, caked (and I do mean CAKED) in layers of Pixi Sticks* Umm... whoa.
Tavis: *laughs impishly* Hehe. Hey, Kari... I was just cleaning up...
Kari: Riiight... anyway, *looks to Tara* I want to get Dan back.
Tara: But I thought Ariel was for sure? I mean, he's a Jew!
Kari: Yeah, but things just went crunchy. I mean, I realized that my love for Reel Big Fish has not died down, it was just on hold because I haven't seen them or talked to them in a very long time! I was using the Hippos as a substitute! *cries*
Tara: *pats Kari on the back, steps over a box of cherry flavored condoms* Now, now. We all do things like that. I remember I did the same thing with NSync after my obsession with the Backstreet Boys.
Tavis: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Tara: Shutup, bitch!
Kari: I just don't know what to do!! Help me, almighty Tara! Please, help me! *sobs and her green mascara runs all down here face* Please?

~K!
(Who got Tara these two really neat presents while she was in Texas... TARA, I need your address again so I can send them to ya!)
"You've got my climbing up the wall!"
"Damn sexin' tunes, I'm gonna start huming a wall soon!"
"Umm. Just wait until the 11th, then jump on your boyfriend."
"Yeaaaaah!!"

Tara: *hugging her poor internet homechick* It's OK......hush hush hush
Kari: I'm just so confused!!!!!! DAAAAAAAAAA!
Tara: * yoinking a pixie stick off of Tavis* here. this'll make you feel better.
Tavis: Dude...that's not A pixie stick....that's MY pixie stick.
Tara: *scream* sorry!
Tavis: I can see you guys need to cry or something....I'll go reapply this.
Kari: That was nice and random.
Tara: Dude...why dont joo just go crawling back to Dan? Oh wait...you cant. Silly me!!!
Kari: You suck.
Tara: Let's see...let's see....i guess the Hippos are ruled out b/c you just made an ass out of yourself in front of Ariel.....
Kari: He's like....nice....but.....I dunno!!!
Tara: He has a cute peepee.
Kari: *suddenly happy for this one sentance* Isn't it though?! All pink...
Tara: Why don't joo go after John from Goldfinger? He's quite a man all right.
Kari: Ehh....the eyebrows scare me....
Tara: Big Bad Voodoo Daddy?
Kari: Hmmm.....which one?
Tara: Not Uncle Dirk.....he's too much of a nice guy. And he has a behbeh.
Kari: Hm.....
Tara: JOSH!!! the piano guy! He's a tomale!!!!
Aaron: *peeking in* Tara, are you a lesbian?
Tara: No, Ryan is just confused.
Aaron: *satisfied* I thought so *smile* Carry on!
Kari: Random
Tara: Just as puzzled as you man.
Kari: I dont know...maybe I just need to be.....to be......single for a while....
Tara: *GASP* *pass out*
5 MINUTES LATER
Tara: *reanimated* Dude.........
Kari: No really.....I mean....balls kinda get old after a while.....
Tara: Dude
Kari: I mean, they lose flavor and maybe I just need a more varied selection of whores.
Tara: Dude.
Kari: That's what I'm gonna do.
Tara: what?
Kari: I'm gonna be single for a while. I'll just have loveless, permiscuous, casual sex with no obligations!
Tara: Well......since you put it THAT way, it sounds like a capital idea!
Kari: Thanks! I'm off in the world to make my fortune!!! *exit Kari into the unknown*
LATER ON IN THE BATHROOM
Tavis: *in the tub with his ducky* So, she just left like that?
Tara: *shampooing Tavis' blueege* Yep. I hope she does ok.
Tavis: Why do i have to wear a bathing suit in the tub?
Tara: Uh....I dont know the whole things with boyfriends and girlfriends and being naked...just sit down.
*BIG DADDY ALERT*
Ariel: *poking his head in* Hey guys?
Tara: yesh?
Ariel: I just heard that Kari went off to be a slut. Is this true?
Tara: Well, I wouldnt say slut..
Tavis: Scurvy Whore?
Tara: Well.....not really....
Tavis: Grizzly bitch?
Tara: well.......
Tavis: Loose goose!
Tara: Thank you!
Ariel: Wow.....i guess it would be unfair for me to keep her magical talents all to myself....but dammit! I love her! And I'm going to get her back!
Tara: How?
Ariel: I'm gonna follow her! I'll find her!
Tavis: Well, you have fun.
Tara: A word of advice...follow the trail of ska buttons....they'll lead you to her.
Ariel: Thanks, Tara. *hug* I'm off!
Tavis: He's never gonnd find her.
Tara: Not a chance.

* tara *
piss:
heh heh. catch my little jokies? i just couldnt help meself.
NOTE: Tara really DOESNT know the whole things with boyfriends and girlfriends and being nekkid. So, when the time finally DOES come for her to be nekkid in front of her whore, she'll be pasing around in his room with his bedsheet wrapped around herself going, "I'm so sceeered! I'm so sceeeered! I'm so sceeeereed!" It's true.

*Kari is downtown at a Blue Meanies/Link 80/MU330 (Okay, Plea for Peace!) show and is bouncing around all punked out skanking with some really sexy guy!*
Kari: *dancing and singing to Link 80* TURN IT AROUND!
Mister Man: Hey, you want some ciggaweed?
Kari: Umm... no.
Mister Man: Are you sure? It's good shit.
Kari: Well, okay... I am single and looking for some sexege... why not?
Mister Man: I can give you that, too!
Kari: *inhales joint* Hehehehehehehehehheeeeeeeeeee. *cough* HEHEHEHEHEHEEEE.
*cutaway to Ariel in his pretty little volkswagon car (This confuses me, because I want him to have a VW, but he's Jewish and the Germans did kill the Jews and Hitler made VW, so I doubt that he'd be driving around in one)*
Ariel: *singing a Hippos tune* I can't stop thinkiiiiiiiiin', while I'm in the car! Your eyes pop into my mind again and again! Oh, Kari! Why can't you understand? Every night I dream about being your man! *Gasp!* Is that her? Being molested by that man!? *slams on breaks!* KARI!
*Kari is being groped and is totally going at it outside of the club with the bouncer (Not the bouncer from 513, because he's SCARY!)*
Kari: What the fuck? *pulls away from bouncer and pulls her shirt down*
Ariel: What are you doing to yourself?! You're degrading what was once so cool about you!
Kari: GET AWAY FROM ME, BITCH! I have Pez dispensers and I know how to use them!
Ariel: I can't watch you do this to yourself! I love you. Now get in the car!
Kari: *in Cartman voice* No!
Ariel: You... complete me.
Kari: Fuck you. I don't love you. You're not the one. Don't you understand?! The only man for me is fucking engaged!
Ariel: *crying* Don't do this to yourself, baby. You're everything I've ever wanted. At the last last Atlanta concert... when I saw you and hugged you and bumped noses with you, I knew that we should be together for forever. You had me at hello.
Kari: *looks at Ariel with big puppy dog eyes* Are you serious?
Ariel: I wouldn't joke at a time like this. Come here, doll.
Kari: *sobs and runs into Ariel's arms* I'm so sorry... I just... I'm so confused.
Ariel: Shh... we'll have a talk about it when you feel better.
*cutaway to Tavis and Tara in the bunk*
Tara: You know, we're the only couple that's actually stayed together here.
Tavis: I wonder why.
Tara: The sex is good.
Tavis: Oh, is that ALL I am? Your little sex bunny?
Tara: No, that's not ALL... but the sex IS VERY good. And Kari tells me Dan's no man in the sack.
Tavis: Well then. Heeheehee.
Tara: I hope Kari's okay.
Tavis: She doesn't know what the hell she's doing.
Tara: No, she does. And that's what fucking scares me.
*urgent knock on the bunk door*
Tara: Come in if you're sexy!
Ariel: *holding a passed out Kari in his arms* Can I stay here the night and look over her?
Tavis: Holy shit, dude! You found her!
Tara: What the fuck is wrong with her? *smells Kari's shirt* Ut-oh. I smell MARIJUANA!
Ariel: I don't know what happened... I just found her outside of a club like this and... we had a fight and I took her back into my car and she passed out when I was singing to her.
Tara: This has happened before. She'll come around in the morning. All we can do now is wait.

~Kari

Tara: Aww...She shmells like shmokege....our little Kari is growing up.
Tavis: Drugs are bad.
Ariel: Duders it was horrible....she was all sloppily making out with some random bouncer! I felt like we were in Vegas or something.
Tara: Sloppily making out with random people.....*reminiscent to FIF show*.....heh
Tavis: Sloppily making out with random people....*reminiscent to 5mins ago*...heh
Rich: *randomly walking in* Hey guys! Check out the news!
~IN TV ROOM~
Newscaster Whore Guy: The world is being infected with mouth herpes! No one make out with anyone you dont know!!!!
Tara: I think I know where this is headed.
Kari: *walking in groggily and still a little stoned* Hey guys...do we have any wawa?
*GASP*
Kari: What?.....What? What's everyone staring at?
Tara: Kari.....your.....your FACE!
Kari: Huh?
Ariel: *fetching a mirror....how "bitch" of him* See?
Kari: OH MY GOD! I have mouth herpes!!!!!
Tara: You sure picked a hellova time to be a slut dude.
Kari: I'm like the monkey in outbreak! No one will make out with me now!
Ariel: Well....*sucks up his breath* CHOMP! *makes out with Kari*
Kari: Ariel....you....made out with......me? Even despite my sudden case of mouth herpes?
Ariel: Yeah......I did. *pop! pop! pop! mouth herpesm outbreak on him*
Kari: Oh Ariel! I love joo!
Ariel: I love joo too lemonpop! <~~~did Tara just type that?
Tara: Well ain't that just sweet?
Tavis: Lemonpop?
Tara: Being in love fucks your vecabulary up dude.
Tavis: I guess so, Bunny Rabbit.
Kari: Together! Ariel and me will find a cure for mouth herpes!!!!!
Ariel: Together!
*speed racer esque music wafts in and Kari and Ariel are off to the lab*
Tara's Inner Monologue: Do we have a lab?
Tara's Outer Monologue: Umm..sure!
Inner: Ok.

* tara *
well sluts im off to NY tonight! Give everyone my love and keep chompin! My grandpa does have a computer so i'll try as hard as i can to keep the installments in order! have fun kids!

*in the lab, which strangely resembles Dexter's Laboratory*
Kari: You know what I just realized?
Ariel: That I'm the perfect guy for you?
Kari: Well, yeah... but... if I were to give you oral sexege, or you give it to me, wouldn't that mean we'd have genital herpes?
Ariel: Oh goodness! I want nothing to happen to my pretty penis!
Kari: All pink and stuff. So no munchege till we figure this out, kay?
Ariel: I guess...
Aaron: *pops his head out from the corner* You know! *twitch* I know how you fix this!
Ariel and Kari: HOW?!!
Aaron: Okay. Scott is a dirty whore, right?
Kari: Right.
Aaron: He has the ANTI strain of herpes.
Ariel: What does that mean, dude, I haven't taken Biology in 493587 years!
Kari: *being smart* He's got the strain that can wipe out our strain. All we have to do is inject it into ourselves and we will be rid of herpes.
Ariel: Wow bebe, you're intelligent. *face suckege*
Aaron: ASSHOLES, I'm talkin' to you.
Ariel and Kari: *sucksucksucksucksuck*