*it was the day after everything and there seemed to be a little bit of tension from kevin dick cheese bacon showing up and the whole gay/straight/matt stone thing*
(Tara is slowly creeping up on a sleeping tavis)
Tara: (sitting on his hips and scratching the tip of his pointy nose with her fingernail) Tavis......baby...time to get uuuup.
Tavis: babe...let me sleep ok im really tired (smiling now) you know why
Tara: don't you know what day it is?
Tavis: Christmas?
Tara: (now smiling at his childish cuteness) no silly...its your birthday!!
Tavis: (slaps forehead) oh that's right!
Tara: (kissing him) happy birthday!!!!! (sitting up again) ready to rock your ass off???
Tavis: oh baby you know it!
MEANWHILE!!! on the other side of the apt. Kari is on the phone with the police.
Kari: uh huh...yes..good. ok. thanks man. bye.
Aaron: (standing up...why he was on the floor we do not know) whats all the hubub (wipes mouth) bub?
Kari: it was just officer willy. (i dunno!) just giving out the warning of that crazy Kevin Bacon running around town.
Aaron: I told Tara that this place was in a bad neighborhood.
Kari: well, just as long as it doesn't interfere with Tavis' party, it's all good.
A LONG WHILE LATER!!!!! the scene is Tara's secret hideout under Niagra Falls where everyone is partying in celebration of Tavis' birthday. there's drinks, helicoptors, jell-o, mud wrestling, and yes....hot nooky...balls.
Scott: WOOHOO!
Carlos: (munching burrito) damn this is killer
Dan: (doing a table dance) i wish it was Tavis' birthday EVERY DAY!
Kari: (sitting up on the couch) damn right!
Aaron: (sitting up too) A-fuckin-MEN!
Tara: (sitting on Tavis' lap popping a sugar cube in her mouth) hows it feel to be 22?
Tavis: i dunno...(thinking about a few minuted ago in that life sized birdcage) kinda warm....wet.....nice. (pecks Tara's cheeck)
Tara: you're naughty. Lemme change the CD. (hops off and scampers off into the flashing lights and bright pretty colors)
SUDDENLY! there's a boom and the door busts down and who's there? you guessed it! KEVIN ASS FACE BACON!!!!
Kari: dude, was that really necissary?
Aaron: yeah man i mean you totally broke Tara's door.
Kevin: WHAT??? ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Tara: (walking in) WEAK! who busted my door?
Dan: this phuck phace!
Tara: YOU!
Kevin: i'm breakin this shindig up!
Scott: (pouting) WHY??
Kevin: cuz I'm Kevin Bacon and they show my shrinkage in that movie Wild Things!
Tavis: (shivering) DUDE! SICK!
Tara: (remembering watching that movie) HAHAHAAA! THAT WAS HILARIOUS!
Kari: ugh...
Scott: like we really fuckin needed to hear that.
Tara: no dude! (still laughing) you shoulda seen it! it was all-
Kari: (cutting her off) OK TARA! we fuckin get it
Matt; (finally entering) what the hell are you here for again?
Kevin: (thinking for a minute) oh that...um..oh yeah! i'm ruining your party!
Tara: FINE! then you leave me no choice!
Carlos: here we go with the things now....
*Tara all the sudden appears in a little green dress and her eyes get huge and turn green and she becomes.....BUTTERCUP! the grren POWER PUFF GIRL!*
Tara: time to kick some arse!
Kari: (getting all excited) me too me too!!!!
*Kari's eyes get huge and turn really blue then she turns into a little blue girly like thing. she is now....BUBBLES!!! the blue POWER PUFF GIRL*
Kari: time ta get FREAKAY!
*the 2 little cartoon girlys begin to kick some ass on kevin bacon*
Dan: woah dude
Matt: this is pretty um....well ah...whos ot a polariod
Tavis: (clicking pictures) way ahead of you
Tara: die scum with a wierd name!
Kari: i hated you in picture perfect!
BAM! BANG! BOOM!
*Kevin begins to gain control over the little girls and holds them in his fists*
Kevin: i've got you now!
Matt: OH NO YOU DONT!
*matts eyes turn red and get huge and then a little red dress appears on him...he is now...BLOSSOM! the PINK POWER PUFF GIRL!*
Carlos: dude, this is pretty fucked up right here
Aaron: Matt...who knew?
Matt: how dare you try ta fuck with my girls!
*BAM! BANG BOOM! he uses his ice breath and freezez the becon and throws him into the falls*
Tara: thanks man
Kari: nice moves
Matt: thanks
*everyone transforms into their nice selves again and go back to partying*
Tara: (all dancing up and jumpy like to Gigantic cuz she has to move whenever the song is played) Tavis! Know what time it is?!!?
Tavis: (watching her jump-you know why) nope! what?
Kari: (calling from an odd position under Aaron over Dan and to the left of a Ewan McGregor blow up doll) CAKE TIME! (she wriggles out and runs to the kitchen where Tara is already there)
*the goils wheel out the HUGE ASS cake and Tara sings*
Tara: hap-py birth-day to.....you (winks) hap-py birth-day to....you (blows kiss) hap-py birth-day Mr. Tav-is (puts arms around melting trumpet players neck) hap-py birth-day to....you (kiss)
Everyone claps as Tavis tries to blow out the candles.
Scott: what did you wish for?
Tavis: now if i told you it wouldn't come true
Aaron: (slightly elbowing and whispering to Kari) i bet i can guess
Kari: (giggling and whispering back) yeah its not like it's something he NEVER gets
Tara: i hear you guys (smiling slyly)
Aaron: (bein all innocent) what? hot sex? huh?
Tara: (equally notible innocence) hmm? blow job? what?
Tavis: (confused) huh?
Tara: confused?
Tavis: yes.
Everyone laughs and eats cake.
A FEW HOURS LATER!
everyone is all passed out all over eachother cept for Aaron who is doing a little tidying up here and there since he cant seem to sleep
Scott: (walking in) need any help?
Aaron: oh um..no. i got it.
Scott: (looking down) oh
Aaron: couldn't sleep?
Scott: no...you?
Aaron: no
~AKWARD SILENCE~
Scott: Aaron....look, i'm really sorry about yesterday with Dan and all
Aaron: no, no dude it's ok.
Scott: it's just that you know, i didnt think you'd really care you know since you took Kari from Dan and you kinda DISSED me.
Aaron: well, i overreacted and its all good. We're all free to eat anyone's balls we want right?
Scott: (now smiling) right
Aaron: dude?
Scott: dude
Aaron: dude
Scott: dude
~BASEketball kiss~

there ya go kiddies! hope that holds you over till i can visit the computer land again! i know tavis bday was the OTHER day but i was in a house with NO computer. so don't think i would sell out on my glasses wearing po-boy! god bless us. everyone.
*tara*
"dudes! if i don't go to this RBF show i might lose my shpadoinkle!"

-Sometime later that magical night, Scott and Aaron fell asleep. Well they "slept" and then fell asleep. You know how it is.-
Tara: *pecking Tavis' chest* Tavis, Tavis... my love bunny, wake up dear. Wake up.
Tavis: Why do you always have to do this, girl?
Tara: Because I'm your alarm clock. I gotta wake you up to remind you that THE PARTY'S NOT OVER! *Pulls Tavis up*
Kari: *singing in a drunken slur* There ain't no party like a Westcoast party cuz a Westcoast party don't stop...
Aaron: *kissing Kari on the cheek* What's inspiring you to sing Coolio?
Kari: Oh... I don't know. TAVIS! You're 22! Today is the first day of your year of being 22 or something! (Kari is a really distant person... in real life and in the story. You must remember that.)
Dan: *sitting up* I could use another beer... *passes out*
Tara: (To Kari) I think something's wrong with your love monkey. *Giggles*
Tavis: But there's nothing wrong with MINE! *Hoists Tara into his lap and kisses her for a long, long while. I'm talking, like, ten minutes.*
Aaron: Hmm...
Kari: Where's Scott?
Aaron: I dunno, why?
Kari: *shuffles feet on the floor* Just wondering.
Aaron: I had a talk with him last night while you were asleep.
Kari: *says bitterly* I'm sure you didn't get much talking done.
Aaron: Yeah, well... we apologized and I want to let you know that maybe you should get back with Dan seriously again because Scott and I are... in... lust.
Kari: *pouts* Oh. Okay. I see how it is. *Sigh*
Dan: Kari? Kari... come here...
Kari: *kneels down to Dan* Yes, Jesus?
Dan: *whispers in her ear* I want you.
Kari: Dude, weak, go brush your teeth first. You're reeking of beer.
Dan: Okay. *gets up, brushes his teeth and comes back* I've missed you. A lot. Scott doesn't do it for me and I'm achin' for some of your Gigantic action.
Kari: Aww... *licks his ear*
Dan: You're kinky. I like you.
Kari: And I, you. *Grabs Dan and sucks face with him for about 5 minutes*
Aaron: *Walks around* Dude. This reminds me of High School... drunken bodies lying on the floor and people groping each other. *Shakes his head* But, alas... I am fine.
Scott: *Walks in the room with Kevin Bacon around his arm* Aww... you're such a stud, Kevin! Tell me about that one movie again!!
Aaron: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *cut to slow motion scene. Aaron runs slowly (thud, thud, thud) up to Kevin Bacon and tackles him.*
Kevin: (to Aaron) Wow! You're sexy!
Aaron: *Raises a fist* Die sonnamabitch, DIE!
Scott: No! Aaron, wait! Aaron, no!
Aaron: *stop and looks at Scott with tears in his eyes* How could you?
Kevin: We just went out for coffee.
Aaron: (to Kevin) Shut up, you gnome.
Scott: Yeah, Aaron, please chill.
Aaron: *releases Kevin and runs over to Kari and starts tapping her on the shoulder*
Kari: *begins to choke on Dan's tongue* Hey, Aaron, can't you see I'm... *cough cough* busy?
Aaron: But... Kari... Kevin's back!
Kari: *breaks away from the kiss* I'll be back for bondage in a moment, Dan, but I must destroy the evilness that is knows as *evil music* KEVIN BACON!
Kevin: You called, mega-bitch?
Kari: *lunges at Kevin with a Spice-Girls kick and knocks him in the balls* ROT IN HELL YOU VH1-ER!! (No offense to VH1 listeners... I do it quite often, too)
Scott: Dude. Kari. Easy. Leave me something left to munch.
Kari: *shoots a glance at Scott* NEVER! I shall castrate Kevin Bacon with my bare hands!
Aaron: *winces* Oww.
Kari: Nevermind... I don't want to touch him... yuck. *returns to Dan*
Dan: Where were we, baby?
Kari: Right about here... *puts the moves back on Dan*
Tavis: *wipes off mouth* Yeeowsa, Tara. You never cease to amaze me.
Tara: Aww... dear. You're so sweet! Wow... look at Dan and Kari... wowow.
Tavis: It looks like they've been wanting to do that for a while.
Tara: *notices the Kevin Bacon aftermath* What just happened here?! Is that annoying fuck back from the dead?
Aaron: *crying* Yeah and he and Scott... they... they...
Scott: *tries to put his arms around Aaron* Hush, love.
Aaron: *pushes Scott away* That's it! I'm never going to love you again! Each time you take my heart and rip it out of my chest! I just can't take it any more... *sobs* Boohoohoo...
Tara: Aaron, come here... Listen to me. Scott loves you.
Aaron: No... no he doesn't.
Tara: I'm sure he does. You can tell by his eyes. They just scream out, "Aaron! Oh, Aaron!"
Aaron: *looks at Scott and smiles then blinks over and over* Scott? Is she right?
Scott: Yes. She is.
Aaron: Oh... Scott... *hugs Scott tightly and squeezes his balls*
Scott: Are you saving it for later?
Aaron: *bites his bottom lip* Uh-huh. *Grins*
Carlos: *appears out of nowhere* Hey guys.
Matt: *steps over Dan and Kari who are now laying on the floor in a tangled mass of kisses* Ooh la la. Looks like we missed everything.
Tavis: You have no idea. I think my 22nd year in life is going to be the craziest one yet...
Scott: Yeah, Tavis, but what about the time in '94 when Aaron dared you to rape that cow?
Tavis: *turns bright red, like he is so inclined to do* What?!?!
*Everyone laughs... even Dan and Kari...*
Tara: Tavis! Did you record it? I'm sure you could make some decent bucks. Dairy Delivery 1... Starring Tavis Werts of Reel Big Fish.
Kevin Bacon: Imagine seeing that on Before They Were Rock Stars.
Aaron: Fuck you dude, shut up.
Kevin: Really?!
Aaron and Scott: NO!

... Heeheehee...

~Kari

"Beth still wears his stupid dress."

Tara: (trying desperatly to get some air from Tavis' death grip) hey! (pant pant) is everyone else totally oblivious to the fact that loser-ass Kevin Bacon is still here???
Tavis: wha? oh...hey yeah!
Kari: we realy gotta learn to pay more attention
Dan: (tsk tsking) there's way to much sex being had in this place
Tara: it's gonna take at LEASt 45 purple monkey dishwashers to get the smell out
Kevin: hey Scott......
Scott: what?
Kevin: work with me......(starts to do some sort of funky dance)
Scott: (falling into hypnosis) uhh....kevin...kevin...kevin...kevin.....
Aaron: what the hell??
Carlos: he's hypnotizing him!
Matt: woah dude!
Scott: must...eat...kevins....balls
Aaron: NOOOO!
Tara: so THATS why Scott would stoop as low to go for Kevin! He's hypnotizing him!
Aaron: Scott! NO! Don't listen to him! stop it!
Tara: I'll handle this!
Tavis: (getting anxious) i know something else you can handle....
Tara: oh, you (giggles)
Kari: come on Tara! we gots somne arse to kick!
Tara: oh yeah! (jumping into action)
(the goils run at Kevin and begin to kickc it but KEVIN HYPNOTZES THEM!!!)
Tara & Kari: kevin kevin kevin......
Tavis: NOOOOO! thats it bacon! now you've gone too far!

hows that for a cliffhanger?
*tara*
o sure....lick his ass but not mine!

-
Tavis: (struggling with his chemical indused brain) ok Tavis..think. think. what would brian boitano do? AHA! i got it! (runs to Scott, kix him in the balls)
Scott: DUDE! WEAK! what the hell was that for?!!!?!!?!?!??!
Tavis: SCOTT! you brought kevin back here now YOU have to send him away!
Scott: how?
Tavis: use your pelvic thrusts to hyponotize HIM!
Scott: O YEAH! HEY KEVIN!
Kevin: WHAT? (Tara and Kari are bowing helpless to his powers)
Scott: get a load of this!!! KA-POW! KA-POW!
Kevin: NOOOOO!
Tara and Kari: wha?
Tara: woah......(eyes turn into swirls as she sits on the floor enthralled by Scott's pelvis)
Tavis: ROCK!
Kari: oh man...i can tell this will escalate into something....
Aaron: heh..heh...heh.....you betcha
Dan: Scott.....scott.....scott.....
everyone laughs. Kevin gets blown awway into oblivian. everyone claps for Scott.
Tara: (zapping back to reel life) what? um..wait....
Tavis: it's ok babe. he's gone
Tara: huh? who's gone? oh Tavis! I just had the oddest dream with Kevin Bacon i think....and you were there Aaron....and you Kari....oh and you Auntie Dan! You were all there!
Carlos: Tara maybe you should lay off the spirits for a while....
Tara: oh but Carlos! It was so REAL..i mean REEL!
Kari: yeah um...it's not like you left...(whispering) good going Scott
Scott: hey i do wut i can
Tara: oh but now i know! there's no place like home!
Matt: Aren't you thinking of the Wizard of Oz?
Tara: no.....wut are you talking about?
Tavis: well, i must say this has been the oddest and yet most exciting birthday yet. I wish I could turn 22 every day.
Kari: (smirking at Tara) well, technically...he does.
Tara: tee fuggin hee, Kari.
Aaron: well i don't know about you guys but i seriously AM getting a little tired
Tara: yeah me too.
Tavis: oh no you don't! you're not weaseling outta this one! (throws stunned Tara over his shoulder) lets go!
Tara: like i really have a choice
Kari: well...to be honest umm....where the hell is that Ewan McGregor blow up doll?
Dan: teeheehee (pulls doll out of his pocket)
Kari: AWWW YEEEEAAAAH!
Scott: you guys are just plain wierd.
Aaron: (standing up and wiping off mouth) yeah i mean...wacky!

there ya go! got all ball happy right there!
*tara*
"no seriously you guys....what do you think he would do?"

"The Good Mushy Stuff"

-The next morning... somehow Tara and Tavis end up groping the plastic plasticness of the Ewan McGregor blow up doll... Kari, Dan, Aaron, and Scott are sprawled out on a bear rug as usal, with Kari's big toe in Scott's mouth, and Dan lying on his stomach naked. Matt and Carlos are running around in towels as Tara wakes up to find herself with one helluva hangover.-
Tara: *hitting forehead* Wha? Where am I? Where's Kevin? *standing up, looking around* Oh, thank goodness it was only a nightmare.
Carlos: Hey Tara-tata! *giggles*
Tara: *thinking to herself* Do they ever stop? *looks to Dan and says outloud* Oh, my... Oh me, oh my...
Kari: *lets out a sleepy noise and rolls over to where her hand is on Dan's bare ass. She doesn't realize it for a while, until she opens up her eyes and yawns* Woah! What happened here? *jumps up* Oh... it's just my bunny, Dan. *kisses him on the forehead and runs over to Tara*
Tara: Hey! How was the nooky last night?
Kari: Oh, man. It was crazy. Scott does this thing with his toes... Oh! And did you know that Aaron jets jiggy with socks on?
Tara: Uhh... no. But I guess I do now.
Kari: Anyway, how was the blow up doll?
Tara: Oh, Tavis really liked it... it wasn't really my style.. It was okay and all... I just prefer the real thing.
Kari: Oooh. So what are we going to do to keep the boys entertained while we're gone?
Tara: Carepackages... audio tapes... video tapes... I was thinking...
Kari: Oh, God, not pornos!
Tara: No, no, no... I just want to make them feel like they're still in our lives when we leave tonight.
Kari: Believe me, they will be. And we will all be loyal, dammit. For ten long days.
Tara: I know, I'm just worrying about what's going to happen with Phil and I once we get home... and you and Seth...
Kari: Dude, Seth's an ass... speaking of ass...
Dan: *Gets up and prances his way to the bed room* Lemme put some pants on, Kari-love, and I'll be right there.
Tara: It's gonna be hard, but I'm gonna stay commited, dammit... because I love Tavis.
Kari: Yeah. And I love Dan.
Tara: Dude, you change your mind, like, every week. PICK ONE!
Kari: I have... I think... it's just... they both rock so hard and I don't want Aaron and I to go down in flames. But I know somebody's gonna hate me when I want Scott's boyfriend to be my boyfriend too.
Tara: *looks confused* Stay with Dan. He has better sideburns than Aaron.
Kari: Ooh, yeah. He does. Good point.
Dan: *walks back into the room, pecks Kari on the lips* How you doing, babe?
Kari: I'm good now. *grins*
Dan: Tara, how you feeling?
Tara: I've got a mondo headache.
Dan: Ahh... it's Ewan. Take some Advil and stay away from him for a while.
Kari: Hey, Dan, you wanna go with me to get my hair done? I'm gonna chop it and dye it pink.
Aaron: *mumbles* Hair cut? What? *gets up and walks up to the three* Who's doing what?
Dan: She's chopping off her hair and dying it pink.
Aaron: That's gonna look phat, lady.
Kari: I know.
Dan: (to Kari) Yeah, babe, let's go. And I got your tab since yawl are leaving later today....
Kari: Aww. Shucks.
-Dan and Kari walk out to Kari's VW Jetta.-
-Back in the house.-
Aaron: (to Tara) So they're happy, huh?
Tara: Yeah, Aaron, I think they are. And don't be pouting off to the side about Kari liking Dan so damn much. That's how you wanted it, babe.
Aaron: I know... it's just... If I didn't have that damn oral fixation I'd be completely straight... It's just...
Tara: There are ways around it. But don't break up Kari and Dan. They are really made for each other.
Aaron: O... kay. It's just... everyone's so happy. You've got Tavis... Kari's got Dan, and Carlos and Matt have each other... I feel like I have to pretend to be happy in order to fit in.
Tara: DUDE! NO! If you have to, explore outside of the Fish and Kari, find a girl. And I can almost promise you that Kari won't forget you as a friend and will always think of you as a lover, but she's getting comitted to Dan. Can you understand that?
Aaron: Yeah... *trails off*
Tavis: *walks into the room, pulls Tara into his arms* Babe, I'm gonna miss you oh-so much.
-At the hair place.-
Kari: Goodbye... my long, beautiful blonde hair. *cries*
Dan: Aww... babes, don't worry. You're gonna be a goddess with pink hair. I had pink hair, you know.
Kari: Heehee yeah I know.
Gay Hair Guy: *speaking with a lisp* How do you want it? (Ahahahahaha! HOW DO YOU WANT IT?! AHAHAHAH!!!!)
Kari: Hey, wait... you're that gay guy I saw on the Howard Stern show last night!! Aren't you?? YOU ARE!!
G. H. G.: Yeah. I am. How do you want it, sweetie?
Kari: Oh... at the neckline. You got pink hair dye?
GHG: Yeah. Who's your guy friend?
Kari: That's Dan. You don't want him. He's mine.
Dan: *giggles* Yeah.
GHG: *cuts Kari's hair* Oh... your hair is gonna be so pretty!
Kari: Teehee, thanks.
-after the haircut Dan and Kari return back to the partay place.-
Aaron: Wowa... Kari! I LOVE IT!
Kari: *beams* Haha. The hair guy was hitting on Dan... the funniest thing...
Dan: Everyone wants my ass.
Kari: *smacks Dan's ass* Baby, those cheeks are mine, bitch!
Dan: *giggles, grabs an Econo. size whipped cream spray thing* To the bathroom!
Kari: Aha! Yes!
Tavis: (to Dan and Kari) Hey, you two, make it quick! We gotta be at the airport in a half an hour! Tara... you want to make some farewell nooky?
Tara: I'm gonna see you in ten days, silly.
Tavis: But, imagine... ten days without you. I can't quite grasp that.. *Aaron disappears somewhere to sulk*
Tara: Oh... We're gonna talk every second we get, my love.
Tavis: But I could be spending every second with you...
Tara: We need to be apart... we'll love each other more when we return.
Tavis: I don't think that's possible. *sucks mad face like crazy with Tara*

....... "You and me we're gonna dance, dance, dance.." .........

~Kari

"I get my RBF tickets Friday! OH YEAH!"

-
-We last left off with Tara and Tavis saying goodbye in a jumbled kiss, with Kari and Dan in the bathroom using some Whipped Cream, and with Aaron sulking somehwere-
Aaron: Dammit!! I can't believe this. Everything was going so good until Kari showed up in my life... I fell for her but she fell for Dan. Then she fell for me when Dan fell for Scott. And I'm here, busting my ass trying to win her back. Maybe 10 days apart will be good... maybe Kari will never come back... *Aaron speaks in a spooky voice and bites his lip..* Maybe. Just maybe I can...
Scott: *busts into the room* DUDE! I've been looking everywhere for you! Just what are you doing in here by yourself? And what the hell were you saying about Kari? You can't do anything to her. She's a godess now. That makes her immortal.
Aaron: *spooky voice* But I must hurt the ones I love.
Scott: That's it, bitch. I'm throwing your ass in Charter.
Aaron: What? No! I'll be good I swear!
Scott: No, that's the problem. You WON'T be good.
Aaron: *starts singing* You don't know what's it's like, you don't know what it's like, you don't know what it's like to be like me....
Scott: Whatthefuckever. I'll give you 10 days.
-Tara is sitting on a kitchen countertop with Tavis doing... something. Hehehe. Yeah. (The story will remain R and not NC-17)-
Tavis: Oh, shit, babe. We gotta get our asses up to the airport.
Tara: Yeah, we do, don't we? I don't know how I'll be able to breathe without you...
Tavis: Just breathe every breath knowing that in 10 days we will be in each other's arms once again.
Tara: *love sick sigh* Oh, my little bulldog.
Tavis: *stares at Tara for a moment* DAN! Get out here!!
Dan: *emerges from the bathroom, giving Kari a piggy-back ride* Yo, bro.
Kari: I love Jesus! I LOVE JESUS!
Dan: Hehehe, calm down, hun. I think the sugar went to your head.
Kari: *hops off of Dan's back* Me? Hyper?
Tara: That could NEVER happen!
*Tara and Kari giggle constantly for a few minutes*
Scott: Hey, Tara, can I steal you for a second? I need to talk to you about something reel important, okay?
Tara: Sure.
*Scott and Tara step off to the side*
Scott: *whispering* Tara, I think Aaron may try to kill Kari.
Tara: WHAT?! *whispering* Oh.
Scott: Yeah, he was in his bedroom screaming about how pissed he is.
Tara: Dude, I have just the thing for him. *Waves her magic wand and a chick appears*
Scott: Woah! Who's that?!
Tara: This is Billy Jean.
*Scott looks confused*
Tara: Okay, okay, you know, like *starts singing* Billy Jean is not my lover... she's just a girl who said that I am the one... but the kid is not my son.
Scott: *laughs* Can you do the moonwalk and grab your crotch?
Tara: NO! Anyway... she's known to attract men with her enormous... *pauses and looks BJ up and down*... lips.
BJ: Yes. Hello. I am Billy Jean. Where's this man I'm supposed to make fall in love with me?
Scott: Dude, Tara, she's hotter than Yasmine Bleeth.
Tara: He's over there *points to the bedroom*. Go easy on him at first. Try to make him sane.
Scott: Be careful. He gets attached.
Tara: Yeah, and he nookies with his socks on.
Scott: *looks puzzled* And you know this because...?
*Kari walks up to Scott and Tara*
Kari: Hey, what was that about?
Scott: Aaron fucks with his socks on.
Kari: Well, I knew that.
Tara: I found a real girl for Aaron.
Kari: What's her name?
Scott: Billy Jean.
Kari: Oh, like *starts singing and imitating the video* Billy Jean is not my lover... she's just a girl that says that I am the one... but the kid is not my son. Like that?
Tara: Heehee, yeah.
*Dan walks up to grab Kari around the waist*
Dan: Well, we'd better get up to the airport.
Kari: *whines* I don't want to go..
Scott: It'll be better this way.
Dan: *Slips into Leonardo DiCaprio accent* Never let go, Kari. Never let go.
Kari: Hey, Jesus, that's weak. I mean... act out the scene from a better movie. Come on, that's lame.
Tara: Yeah, Dan, don't be a Melvin. You have cool sideburns.
Scott: But mine are better.
Tara: He has a point.
-Everyone gets into Tara's HPV and cruises up to the airport.-
Aaron: *singing* Billy Jean is my lover. She's a girl who knows that I am the one... and the girl is lots of fun.
Kari: *squeezes Dan's hand* I'm gonna die without you.
Dan: You'd better return to me in one piece. Okay, dear?
Kari: Yes, master...
Aaron: *under breath* ...bator. Masterbator.
Carlos: (Yeah, he is in this story!) Did you just hear something?
Matt: (Him too!) No.
Carlos: Oh. Okay.
-In the actual airport-
Scott: How funny is that? You guys get flight 241!
Kari: Hahaha it's great. That always has been one of my favorite songs.
Tavis: Mine too.
Dan: Mine three.
Kari: Well, that's just because you guys have killer solos in that.

.....Alla mercy with the sex appeal....

Maybe more later?
Sure!
What's gonna happen with Tara and Phil? And Kari and Seth? Will the Fish-Girls remain true? Has Kari rediscovered herself through Jesus Christ the All Mighty? Am I talking out of my ass?

~Kari

"Dude. My shoes are about a size too big. Boohoo."
"You know what that means!"