hands and heart

do not mind these hands
these apostrophes of possession
i have them well-trained
not to grasp too tight
or too soon or
not to try at all
beware more of this heart
whose claim is etched
in bone, each day
a slash in blood
the waiting like a cancer
slowly spreading out

i would like to hold you close

i would like to
hold you close
while counting my breath
marvelling at the wonder
of holding you close

if my love spills over
forgive me
i simply cannot contain the
Greatness of your Soul
shimmering and
smudging its edges
into mine

karma

by any chance did you shatter?
and that is why i found these huge
pieces of you left in seeming abandon
on this path i must have chosen wisely,
(or else it’s just too sad),
are these your gifts,
traces of your promise before
we lost all consciousness
and were once again human,
hints so i will always remember
because perhaps i was always the one
who forgot and took you for granted
so now, it is i who clamors for
attention, god it hurts
to be so ordinary,
i needed to smear the sound of your name
on my skin, anointing myself
like it would keep my heart
from being broken,
they have sharp jagged edges
these mirror pieces of you,
but none thin enough to slice through
my wrists, only enough bluntness
to bruise,
not this, not this,
each time, taken away,
while the finger keeps pointing to the moon

slowly i begin to understand.




one last thing
before i empty myself
completely
i take this one last dare
extended to the Universe

i place myself for the last time
precariously on the edge
of mad possibilities
waiting and trying not to wait

that old cross on that old steeple
will be the only witness
to my final prayer
before i shed all hope

one last chance i will spend
here, courting his destiny
my patched-up heart as bait
my soul wagered to the core

one last offering of myself
before i scatter me
to be lost and to be one
a final call for blessing





practice
is there a chance, maybe none
i’ll take my case
before i rest my case
forget about costs
i have lifetimes to spend
learning, i can perfect
my skills, eventually
perhaps even be able
to sit in full lotus





stars uncrossed
tell me how i should begin to cross
the vast silences built between us
for years we have been unaware
too hunched over constructing our little
empires, trying to win hearts, losing
a little bit of ours each time
all the while we walked alongside
each other, and if we could have looked up
maybe we could have recognized
where we are going, now i look up
and i see you across from me
a chasm of galaxies waits to be spanned
i try to measure the length and strength
of my soul-threads, while the stars glimmer
in yet unprophesied constellations
around you, i sit to breathe

when you look up and through the curtains of familiarity,
cliches, stereotypes, expectations,
will you sense me, counting my breath
like each was a step taken towards you?

will you meet me in recognition
or will you choose to forget?








path i
path ii
path iii
path iv




















Visit my main homepage

  
  





Acknowledgements




Boogie Jack's Web Depot