February 20, 2001 - Good Will Hunting and the phone messages

I decided to check my messages last night. Guess who called on Saturday night? David. Why does he call? Why does he like to put me through that? I don't want to talk to him and I'm not going to let him come visit me. I have things to do. And I'm not in Halifax right now anyway. But I gave in and called him late - the phone was busy. Thank goodness for small preventions in my moments of weakness. So I guess I just never call back again. That seems like a decent plan. He can keep trying to call me if he really wants to talk to me.

Good Will Hunting was on TV last night. It was sort of ironic. Why? David and I had watched that at his house one night when I was really upset. I don't really remember the movie from that viewing, but it's pretty funny now how the movie speaks to me on the level of identifying completely with Minnie Driver's character. I have been in love and been abandoned like that. It sucks. That movie makes me cry for her character because it's me too.

say yes
elliott smith

i'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl
who's still around the morning after
we broke up a month ago and i grew up i didn't know
i'd be around the morning after
it's always been wait and see
a happy day and then you pay
and feel like shit the morning after
but now i feel changed around and instead falling down
i'm standing up the morning after
situations get fucked up and turned around sooner or later
and i could be another fool or an exception to the rule
you tell me the morning after
crooked spin can't come to rest
i'm damaged bad at best
she'll decide what she wants
i'll probably be the last to know
no one says until it shows and you see how it is
they want you or they don't
say yes
i'm in love with the world through the eyes of a girl
who's still around the morning after

I love the way Elliott Smith songs are interlaced through Good Will Hunting. It's like my life.

I'm getting my haircut today. Back into a chin length bob. Yeah. It's boring and safe, but this long hair thing is wearing thin. And it's hard on my hair. And it takes too long to wash. And it'll be fun to shock everyone a little by having shorter hair again. Some of these people have never seen it much shorter than it is now. Cool. I like shock value.
© lily keller 2001