Solutions Archive #3
This is the Solutions Archive No.3.Here you would find solutions to previously posted problems.(Poblems 233 to 313).
The solutions are according to the date of posting of the problem....recent ones first,older ones later.The solutions will be here forever...atleast till I run out of space.This will help visitors having a similar problem to find a solution.
If you need to Post Your Problem Click Here.If you,the visitor,need the contact mail id of any of the persons below,you can mail me.....I shall furnish the same to you at the earliest with the concerned person's consent.
313.
Name:Leanne
City:Surrey
Sex :Male
Age :??
Date/Time of Posting:May 12 2003 / 22:01:57
Leanne's Problem:
my friend has just been expelled from school from
apparently bad behaviour i am helping her family win an appeal to get Becky back
into school i was woundering weather you could help me give me some
ideas and good advice to help her along her way
thank you very much
leanne
Hi Leanne,
You have not told me why exactly your friend is being expelled.I honestly dont think Becky needs to be appealing with her parents to the school unless there is a genuine..a very genuine reason and the school is being a little unfair and inconsiderate.
If you really wish good for your friend,let things happen in the natural flow...believe me Becky would stand up one day to say her expulsion was the turning point of her life and gave her the direction for success in life!(..provided she ammends herself and learns to accept the facts!)Good Luck to you and Becky!
312.
Name:Lora
City:L.A
Sex :Female
Age :16
Date/Time of Posting:May 12 2003 / 17:22:05
Lora's Problem:
hi i know this is like hardly a problem to you cos you
read all sorts of real problems every day but i dont know who else to
ask. Theres this guy, Chris hooker and me and him used to be together and
we were like house hold names in our school. I may sound big headed but
i used to be the prettiest girl at our school and now this really
pretty girl Tara has just moved to our school and within a day she owned the
place including Chris who dumped me and said 'things are just gettin
old' and that was it. Anyway now the whole school knows he dumped me
including Tara and shes always flirting with him and every one says they
would make a great couple. I dont know what to do? how can i get back my
popularity and Chris?
Hi Lora,
What makes you think yours is not a real problem?Well I dont see it any different or less serious than the other problems I get to read!I respect every problem that comes to me and yours too!
First of all,why do you want to be popular?And then tell me how you want to become popular?Take a while..and think of that right now as your reading this line..think!
Well,Lora,theres one rule of life I know...you can never become popular if you try and make make attempts to become popular.On the contrary you may become unpopular!Take your own example...You said you used to be popular...but tell me if you really did anything to become popular...it just happened right?
And you never know when Tara would become unpopular and Chris might dump her too!So,you know its really not sane to run after popularity.And wanting Chris to get back to you is not a worthy wish!He doesnt seem to be stable headed!
Popularity is a parallel thing to what you wish to become or attain in life.And all successful people who achieve their goals in life are popular in their immediate society!So Lora,if you want to become popular,set a goal thats worth a life,and hit at it...you would be popular!And as for immediate and present situations,its just your confidence thats going to make you keep your image up!Stop feeling let down or that you have stepped down from somewhere!Show people you can live without Chris...and that you have your own priority list..not that you need to do all this with hate and resentment in you heart,but with a mature and calm attitude!Chris is not your last chance!You know that.Have no hard feelings towards anyone.
And as far as Tara,well how does she make you less beautiful?...there are definitely a couple of guys around who think you are more beautiful.Its not something that you need to break your head about...you know you are beautiful!Tara may be beautiful too..but thats not ultimate.The way you carry yourself makes half your beauty..and dont lose out on that!
The need of the hour for you...its your confidence..thats the only thing that can help you win!Dont draw into yourself...be level headed and confident and have a good social life as before...Remember you are beaten only when you begin to think you are beaten!Good Luck Lora!
311.
Name:Brittany
City:Lebanon
Sex :Female
Age :10
Date/Time of Posting:May 11 2003 / 00:09:03
Brittany's Problem:
i need to know can u try out for cheerleading if your
over weight and how to lose weight.
Hi Brittany,
Ofcourse you can cheerlead if your fat.Its all in the attitude.Cheerleading is all about attitude and confidence..not how thin or fat you are!Someone may be the best looking girl around but if she has no attituded and confidence,she's definitely not going to be a great cheerleader.
So Brittany if you want to cheerlead,whats stopping you?..Go ahead and do it!Be confident..its not a crime to be fat..nor is it a bad thing!You can do it!Good Luck!
310.
Name:Daniela
City:From ARGENTINA
Sex :Female
Age :18
Date/Time of Posting:May 10 2003 / 15:31:31
Daniela's Problem:
Hello,
First of all, thanks for your time and dedication. I will really
appreciate your point of view on my problems .My english teacher recommended on it.
As I have already told you , I am from Argentina , a south American
country , which nowadays is going through social affecting economical
problems, just let´s say a deeply crisis that is affecting us form all
points of view unfortunately.
For example my father has been working abroad for almost a year and a
half, and the unemployment rate is becoming bigger and bigger .
There is little chance for young people to develop themselves in such
a system , so here comes my problem.
I am a college student . In fact , I am studying Management, and this
is my second year, there are still 3 more ahead. But I am feeling so
insecure about all of it . I mean , I really love my career , and what is
expected for me to do in the future, because I enjoy working with
people and everything that has to do with an enterprise enviroment. However,
as time goes by , there are fewer industries and factories settled in
Argentina , and I would not like to go abroad , as it is a very
demanding point . You have to leave everything aside just to work . I really
know that this is the new world , as a consequence of globalization .
But there is a feeling of no expectation at all in everything I do
, though I kwon I have to keep on trying .
Do you think you could help me ? Just a little piece of advice please!
PS: I forgot to tell you that I am student of English as a foreign
language , and I am attending CAE classes .
Sorry about mistakes !
Love
Daniela
Hi Daniela,
I think your english is great and in fact it is better than so many people I've seen.Congratulations,great going Daniela!
Before I say anything to you I want to say the following first:
No matter what field you are in,if you are the best in it and are passionate about it and live,breathe and eat your passion and dedicate yourself to excellence,you are automatically going to be a God in that field...and nothing can stop you from success in terms of satisfaction,job or money!No matter what your constraints are,no matter what your problem is you are young and full of energy and you have what it takes to overcome the hurdles coming your way!Push yourself beyond your comfort level...rip open opportunities..and make success your slave!
You may be thinking and saying to yourself.."Oh this guy is not understanding my actual problem which are practical daily problems"
Well,I do understand what you are going through and still stick to what I just told you!You can do it!It may require going abroad...may be you need to sacrifice on that front..well,go ahead and do it!
Slog your way out...dont bother to tell yourself life shouldnt be so tough!By the way who told you life should be easy?Go ahead....live your dreams out..never quit!Good Luck Daniela...I am sure your going to write me your success story!
309.
Name:Leandro
City:Rosario, Argentina
Sex :Male
Age :17
Date/Time of Posting:May 10 2003 / 05:58:53
Leandro's Problem:
First of all, I'd like to thank you for this hand you are
giving us in theese harsh moments we are going though!
Now, let's get down to business. I am 17, and I'm in the last year of
secondary school. Next year, unfortunately, I'll have to pick the career
of my life. My problem is that, as you may know, here in Argentina we
don't have many job possibilities as in other parts of the world because
of our problems with economy. So I was wondering if you could help me
with this issue, I don't know which career to choose!
Of course, I'm not hoping you to magically tell me which one, but it
would be very useful if you could give me some advice, or some hints to
solve this out, ok?
Thank you so much for your time
Hi Leandro,
By now you must be having an idea of what you want to do...an idea of what you like.Sit back and think for a while...list down all the things that you would like to do!Be very specific.You may perhaps end up with around 5 options..may be more,may be lesser.Just list..dont think of the constraints when you are listing,let your mind flow free.Next,arrange them in terms of your liking..list the career you like the most,first...and so on.
Then think of the kind of preparation that you may need to do in the direction of each of your option.Think of any constarints that you may face.
Do the same with all your other options.Weigh out things...finally make a firm decision of what you want to do.
Remember you are going to be succesful only if you do what you like...and dont be over-anxious about making money at the very start.Set your goal..and incrementally achieve it...take your time.Dont get overwhelmed by the situation and economy around.Put things in their rightful perspective and work on your dream.Well,things would certainly not be easy.You need to be hardworking and you must push yourself all the while....constantly till you reach a commendable level.Believe in yourself and vow to fight out the odds.Patience is handy virtue,you need to build on it.Never lose heart even when you dont see anything thats feasible....dig your way through...you will succeed!Good luck!
308.
Name:Donnie
City:Attica
Sex :Male
Age :16
Date/Time of Posting:May 10 2003 / 03:23:03
Donnie's Problem:
i am a sophmore i high school and i need 113 in math 117
in global and 123 in english to pass how can i pass to go on to my
junior year this year whether it be summer school or what how can i???
please i need help!
Hi Donnie,
I know a shortcut...I know how you can get that score!...The shortcut is hardwork!Any other way you take will not lead you to where you want to go...on time...and for sure!So work hard...you can do it!Believe in yourself.Good Luck!
307.
Name:Belen
City:Rosario
Sex :Female
Age :17
Date/Time of Posting:May 10 2003 / 02:43:15
Belen's Problem:
First of all, I'm Belen and I'm studing English, so
escuse me if a make grammar or other type of mistakes.My english teacher told me about this site.
All my friends have a piercing in their noses, and i want one too, but
when I told it to my parents they didn't allow me. What should I do?
Although they say I;m too young, I consider myself as a mature person and
responsible for the piercing and everything that comes with it.
Thanks for your time,
Belén
Hi Belen,
Your English is perfect..great going..Congrats!Your English teacher is lucky to have you as a student...!Pass on my regards to your English teacher!
Well,piercing your nose is not a crime.A lot of Indians do it as a custom,and is said to have a sound scientific reason behind it.
If your parents dont want you to do it..well you better not.Its not like you taking a permission to go to a movie..its something thats going to be on your face and everytime they see you they would see disobedience...the nose ring would remind them constantly!So to keep things smooth sailing and have a pleasant relationship with them,it would be better if you dont pierce your nose.After all its going to be a fashion,and may just die out in a while!
On the other hand if you listen to your parents in this regard you may even earn some good points and they may be a little easy on you in future,when you ask them for something!So,make the wise decision.Good Luck!
306.
Name:Arun Joy
City:Cochin
Sex :Male
Age :19
Date/Time of Posting:May 07 2003 / 13:10:59
Arun's Problem:
dear vij,
first of all,i will introduce myself.
i am arun joy,student of rajagiri engineering college,cochi-2nd year.i
am good in studies.but i couldnt get a nice rand in engineering
entrance exams so to get admission in our college my father had spent 4 lakh
rupees . the huge amount of money is not disturbing me,but i have
problem in our college
i got bad companies in college.i was caught by college authorities for
ragging first year student and warned that will be dismissed for any
more such cases.but i was caught for the second time for distroying the
window glass of a classroom.i was not directly invlved in any of 2
cases but my friends did this.i was asked by college athorities to write
apology letter and undated application of transfer certificate.someone
came to know that we were the culprits od breaking the glass and
reported to the principal.he came to me and told about this in calm and
descent way .i told him all the truth.he told me to write an explanatory
letter.so i wrote the letter .he asked me to keep the names of those who
were with me and so did i.i was shocked by the next day that one of my
friend who planned this operation was dismissed and my parents were
called about this and i was termed as useless to them.the charged Rs.10000
as a fine .my father was shocked that he never expected this from me
and on the next day he phoned me he cried and asked me to become
good.but i belive myself i am good and i never had gone wrong.i am only a
witness of this 2 incident and never had an intention in taking part in
it.now i feel like a total loser,deperate,no hope.i know lost intreset
in study .now one problem that threatens me is that my college
athorities got 2 explanatory letter with them .one is for ragging case and i am
afraid that i will be imprisoned for that.also i get mad when i think
about the fine my parents paid.please help me to get rid off this thing
.
faithfully kiran
Hi Arun,
Well,the past is over.You know how not to mess up things.First forgive yourself...dont go on telling you've cheated on your parents..and continue making your life misreable.You have realized..and you know you wont do it again..we all make mistakes!
About your friends,you are old enough to know who to pick!But its not that you make a series of hostile relationships in the process of picking good friends..!No hard feelings towards anyone.
About the college and your parents,the only way to impress them is to excel in your studies,and your behaviour(if at all you need any correction in your behaviour!).Good luck Arun..no more repentations...make peace with yourself..be a little easy on yourself!You wont find yourself in such a situation again!
305.
Name:Heaven
City:Malaysia
Sex :Female
Age :17
Date/Time of Posting:May 04 2003 / 04:36:18
Heaven's Problem:
hello.........
i dont know how to tell u my problem...1st at all im the best student
in my school as i get excellent result in my exam.After that i got offer
to another school which is better than my old school...my new school is
a boarding school...and i cant stand of their rules even though that
the school is the best school in my place..i decided to get out of the
school and come back to my old school again...my parents were angry with
me...but i promise to myself that i will get excellent result in my
next exam.But i realised one of my best friend was not in my school..she
got another offer coz she also intelligent..she always give me advice
and help me in my studying..today she was not here beside me..and i feel
alone..even though i try to be friend with anyone..but no one like
her...who give me encourage..my result goes down..and my parents feel very
sad about me as they regret i come back to my old school again...and i
just saw my bf hugging someone...im so sad...that i have no spiri
t and encourage to study again...sir my question is how i can survive
without my best friend beside me...and how i am to show to my bf that i
can live without him..sir i want to get excellent result in my
exam..but i have no spirit at all help me sir...and i want to forget all
this..plzz
Hi Heaven,
Ask yourself one thing.."Can you change what has happened?"...well you know the answer is a no!
First of all stop telling yourself that you have made a bad decision.Stop telling yourself you have cheated on your parents and you are bringing them grief all the time.If theres anything that you can change,it is your attitude,you approach and your self-image!
Well, your best friend may not be here anymore..and your other friends may not seem the best!For things to happen,you need to give time.You would definitely find a best friend amongst your people around.Stop worrying about that!Its just that you need to be open minded and allow people to enter your life..their apparent unfriendly nature may not be an indicator of the real side!You need to let them reach you...and for that you must know that they dont mean any harm to you and they are simple and good as you are or your old friend was!Only then would you discover a new best friend..and perhaps a friend who's better than the best you've ever had!Trust me..and I've experienced this!
You would be making a mistake only when you have unrealistic expectations as to become famous and popular in class within a week..and have a best friend the very first day.Give time a chance!Concentrate on your studies...its just that first time you need to click and then you would get over that limiting friction..and you would regain your smooth successful academic record!A little bit of push is all you need..be determined and work a little harder.Believe thats the most important thing to a student..if you are confident with your studies and get good grades,everything else will fall in place!
How to show your boyfriend you can live without him?
Well,for whatever reason you want to do that its fine.And how do you do that?Well,the first step is to get rid of all the hard feelings that you may have towards him.Next get rid of the fact that you need to prove to him that you can live without him.Be yourself..you dont have to prove anything to anybody...let it be a way of your life.By telling yourself you need to prove it you are still submitting to the fact that you have a weakness!Get over him!Just leave the shell on the shore,the same way as you picked it..and walk ahead...you dont need to throw the shell..and waste your energy..just leave it..place it down..and walk ahead!
Heaven,I wish you good luck!
304.
Name:Titan
City:Bangalore
Sex :Female
Age :17
Date/Time of Posting:May 03 2003 / 09:13:16
Titan's Problem:
I am good at academics.I will be writing CET Karnataka
2003.I am a medical aspirant.I am not good at time management.I have
only 19 days or so to prepare.Please help me with a suitable time table to
study.I am ready to work 18 hours a day.Also guide me what to do when I
feel sleepy.Thank you.(I must go through the 1st year pre-university
portions).
Hi Titan,
Managing time is a figment of commonsense,but requires enormous self-discipline to stick to the schedules that you yourself would have drawn.
First of all dont say you dont have time,when you are well ahead of an exam by atleast 20 days.I think thats the first step to effectively plan out things.
Well,you have about three weeks to go before your exam.That would mean approximately 1 week per subject(P,C and B).And you still have some more time to squeeze in Mathematics and just brush through Mathematics,in case you just want to give it a shot.But your first preference is Biology and you need to give your PCB the best effort...be single minded and by now,from what you have said I've figured that you want PCB...medicine.
I cannot really draw out a timetable for you,but I can just guide you to mark out an effective one...because I wouldnt know if you can study the same subject at a stretch or would you like to switch in between..or whatever...its upto you...and any method you follow in this regard would not be wrong.There are a couple of other parameters which only you would know...and so its best for the person executing the timetable to make his or her own timetable.
Well,in general CET has to do with a lot of remembering,(and sadly enough sometimes even with Maths!).So I suggest you go through your text books for all the subjects once.Remember to make notes.You need to be smart..dont get into details..this is not your board exam.Then try solving as many objectve questions as possible.Take up as many mock CET's as possible.That would really help you to work on your timing startagies when you really take up CET.Look into old CET papers..know the important areas in each subject.Remember to mark out some important objective questions in your study material that you can just run through before the exam...these may be factual type questions(people,names,etc.)..or any other type that you feel is important.
I have some general things to say:
Never work beyond your comfort level...dont kill your sleep.
Dont set up very high standards in your timetable...you may invariably slip the target and be left in a cycle of catching up with time,painting yourself a very illusionary picture of you not doing upto the mark..which may not be the case.
12 hours of work per day,and a minimum of 7 hours sleep would be ideal(you have 20 more long days!)
Give the 12 hours your best shot..no diversions..no complacency.
You may be really tired after a year's toiling...but dont give up..its just a few more days.
Be easy on yourself....love yourself more than ever before..dont complain all the time...have a positive drive.
Set effective and small goals..and as you easily clear them,see your confidence rise.
An hour-wise timetable would be very effective...marking out topics for each hour.
Every small goal you tick off,you are making progress!
Mock CET's would really help you.As you take more and more tests,see hwo you progress...the absolute result of each test need not be of great importance.You could have these tests yourself at home..using some CET related books.
Be bold,be brave....believe in yourself.Good Luck!
303.
Name:Brandy
City:------------
Sex :Female
Age :12
Date/Time of Posting:May 03 2003 / 02:46:36
Brandy's Problem:
WELL IM MOVING NEXT YEAR , AND ONE OF MY HECCA CLOSE
FRIENDS (t) IS SAD.... SO ME AND HER ARE HANGING OUT ALOT!!!!! WELL (t`s)
BEST FRIEND IS KINDOF MAD CUZ THEY DONT SPEND EVERY WEEKEND
TOGETHER........ BUT I TOLD HER FRIEND THAT WE WERE JUST HANGING OUT CUZ I AM
MOVING NEXT YEAR.........
Hi Brandy,
Your best friends friend is probably feeling left out,and insecure.What you can do is get T's friend to go out with you both atleast once in a while.Try not to have any apparent secrets between T and you,and make T's friend feel left out!Try being nice to her and be friendly!I think T's friend would feel better!Also you could try talking to her again in this regard,and convince her that you are not stealing T away from her!Good Luck!
302.
Name:Barry
City:Cranston
Sex :Male
Age :13
Date/Time of Posting:May 02 2003 / 23:55:44
Barry's Problem:
I am having trouble with the kids at school. I am alwase
quiet and I wish I could make more friends. The kids at school
sometimes call me a girl to, maby because of my voice or how I act. What should
I do?
Hi Barry,
I think you need to talk to your teacher..your favourite teacher and tell him/her your problem.I am sure he/she wouldnt judge you and would definitely try to help you out!Barry,if your a shy person,you must make attempts to get out of your shell.Take part in all extra-curricular activities in your school.That would help you get over your fear.You would be more confident in facing people.Initially you may not be very successful and may make mistakes while you are on stage.But thats nowhere you need to stop!Everytime you get an opportunity to talk just throw yourself in between people blindly,and find yourself talking!The bottom line is that you need to make attempts to talk and only then would you face people boldly!Only then will things start happening.You need to make a habit of talking..things would follow!Good Luck Barry!
301.
Name:Lisa
City:London
Sex :Female
Age :15
Date/Time of Posting:May 02 2003 / 23:05:46
Lisa's Problem:
Sorry if this is too long and confusing. Please read it
and help me, I need to sort this out and
Im nearly 16, almost an adult.
And I want to be a kid again. I cant believe how old I am.
I hate my whole life.
The atmosphere, the way the people around me are like, and what my life
is about.
I was bullied in school from 12-15 and it effected me so much, because
it was my whole life as school was the only life I had.
I was taken out of school in the last year and promised I would use the
time to be healthy, learn and improve myself so that I would be fine
when I next see the people who gave me trouble.
I then watched some tapes of me when I was younger. I realised which I
didnt know at the time as it was just normal, how good things were back
then. First of all I looked good, I was preaty and cute and younge, I
had a nice personality and character and I also had a nice accent.
I thought if im like that, then I am perfectly fine, but then I filmed
us all and realised how much we have changed. Mainly because of the
bulling I hadnt noticed how much time had gone by, my brother went from
8-13.
I had the idea of changing us so that we are the same as we use to be.
I hate the way we are now. We are all much older, as the tapes were
6-11 years ago now. Even the house shows age, we have different
neighbours, who I dont know, but I thought were better then me as some of them
are friends with the people who picked on me.
We arent the same with eachother anymore.
My older brother was really nice before, we use to make tents together
etc... but in the past 6 years everything like that has changed.
My younger brother who 6years ago was just nearly in Junior school is
now nearly in his 3rd year at secondary.
We were kids before and now we are going to be adults and it seems so
sad.
We can now never be the way we use to be.
Our lives are so much different and so horrible.
I dont think I ever grew up. I only stopped doing things like playing
with dolls houses because i was told that I am now older.
I dont know how to think. My older brother in four years will be the
age my uncle was when we first started filming and to us he was really
old.
I dont want to live and be this, who I am and live for the things like
I was before, looking good like that and being healthy so I can stand
up for myself.
Its stupid but because I kind of look up to the way we use to be and
the way I was, and I was 5 at the time I keep thinking If I could see
myself now at 5 what would I have thought of myself?
Hi Lisa,
Theres one thing..we were all born to grow older..thats not a bad thing though!And you know you cant go back to age 5...dont you?So why waste your energy and ruin your peace of mind by thinking of something thats not possible..And whats wrong now?
You just need to accept the situation....you need to find peace with your present conditions.Forget about all the bullying incidents...star to think of all your achievements..fill your head with positive thoughts.You know what?..you have almost gotten into a habit of telling yourself negative things..that things cant be good anymore..its all in the head!"You change your thoughts,and you change your world!"
Why dont you spend time thinking about what you want to achieve in life..your dream job...your career..etc!Pursue some hobbies.Divert yourself..make some friends....Concentrate on your academics....YOU NEED TO START BELIEVING YOU ARE BORN LUCKY,because thats the truth!Change your habit of running negative thoughts...turn them into positive ones and let them be your daily driving force!Get up and act like a winner...dont be harsh on yourself..and dont feel unfortunate.
Making new friends will definitely help you...but you must take the first step..things wont just happen.Good Luck!
300.
Name:Gulkhan
City:Islamabad
Sex :Male
Age :20
Date/Time of Posting:May 02 2003 / 07:37:51
Gulkhan's Problem:
i have openedd a school(high) since 1993 in the most
backward area of my country and need some financial help for upgradAton.so,
pls. guide me in this regard
thanks
Hi Gulkhan,
Well,I have no idea as to how you can raise funds for your school.Perhaps with a little hardwork,you can start a school fund in your community where people can donate for their own children's education.You could try approaching some voluntary organisations who can help you raise funds.I wish you good luck in this wonderful work you are doing.
299.
Name:ASHOK PAI
City:Bangalore
Sex :Male
Age :20
Date/Time of Posting:May 01 2003 / 14:20:08
ASHOK's Problem:
I am finding it difficult to concentrate on my studies.
I am studying 4th sem CS engg.I take a lot of time to travel from my
house to the college and back home.
I feel quite tried ,thus I am not able to concentrate on studies even
on holidays.Please, send the solution as early
as possible.I will more happy to send anymore of my problems
Hi ASHOK,
Well,travelling does drain students of their energy.
Ashok,what you need to do is come home,forget everything.Have a wash,and take a short nap for about an hour or so.Wake up and you are definitely going to be fresh.Dont immediately start off studies....take a break and do something that interests you...and then get back to studies.
You can practice meditation that would immensely improve your concentration.Half an hour in the morning on a regular basis would do wonders.Later you can slowly increase the duration of meditation.
Well,you must never give up.Master your weaknesses,overcome them somehow..and you certainly can too.
Also you could have some health drinks that may keep your energy level up.Check on your diet and eating habits..rectify if theres any problem.Eat healthy and regularly.Get a minimum of 7 hours sleep per day.I am sure you can overcome your problems!Feel free to write again.Good Luck Ashok!
PS:Your email id isnt working.
298.
Name:Half Pint
City:New Tripoli
Sex :Female
Age :16
Date/Time of Posting:Apr 28 2003 / 19:26:32
Half Pint's Problem:
I am like most teenagers - but one thing
- I'm diabetic.I have been diabetic for almost 8 years of my life.
And it's not getting any easier for me or my family. I am very
afraid that I won't wake up one morning because either I had too much insulin
pushed in me or my blood sugar went to low. I don't exactly know how to
get over this fear of dying I mean of course its always going to be there
but I don't know how to not think about it so much. Can you help me?
Hi Half Pint,
First of all let me tell you something.I've known a couple of teens and young diabetics myself,personally.Let me assure you,you are not going to die because of it.Stop worrying.Well,stop living to die,because thats what you seem to be doing!
Ofcourse you may have your physical limitations,but how on earth is it going to prevent you from achieving your dreams?Get up and start living.
How do you stop thinking about it?
Well,it can happen gradually,if you really practice not to think about it in the way you've been thinking all these days.Be optimistic.Pursue some hobbies when you are alone.Set your goals and work towards them.Learn to meditate,it would really help you a lot!So,dont you worry..be brave...you can do what you want...go live your dreams out!Good Luck!
297.
Name:Steph
City:Gold Coast, Australia
Sex :Female
Age :14
Date/Time of Posting:Apr 28 2003 / 04:37:54
Steph's Problem:
I have some friends at school that I'm
not happy sitting with. I've been told I'm naturally a "leader" and not
a "follower" in the group and because of that one of them has gotten
really jealous and all this year she's been making smart comments to make
me look bad.Now she's the leader and everyone seems to pick on me
and not on anyone else.I feel as though they seem really dorky and I
don't like sitting with them but I have no where else to go. I like this
guy who I've known all high school and I just started talking to
him this year.I walked back from class with him a couple of times and
the first time I did they saw, and one of the girls mentioned she was going
to be sick because of it. I really don't like sitting there. I
really like this guy but I don't know how he feels, and I'm not allowed to
go out with anyone anyway, but I really like him. What should I do about
these things?I'm a shy person and he's a popular person, so it's
hard, and it seems I can only talk to him without his friends being
there.I like him, but I only really want to become friends with
him.
Hi Steph,
Well,some of them may have been really very mean to you.You cant do much about them.I am sure you would have atleast one friend who's better than the rest.I think you must find a friend and you wil find one with whom you can be close.First get rid of the feeling that literally everyone is against you and that everyone hates you.That would really help you break the ice and get closer to atleast one of the people around.
Steph,in general you just need to be more tolerant and easy going about things...just ease up a little...things would be fine.Be nice to everybody,be confident,warm and friendly in your approach to people around.You need to stop seeing yourself in their eyes.Build your self image and things would be great going!
About the guy you like,be patient and theres really no need to hurry up things.Good Luck Steph!
296.
Name:Mitchell Nelson
City:Grand Forks, ND
Sex :Male
Age :19
Date/Time of Posting:Apr 24 2003 / 14:07:23
Mitchell's Problem:
My Girlfriend and I have been with each other for almost
a year. She is 18 and I am 19. Although we are really into each
other, I wouldn't call it love, however, who knows. I can't help but
thinking that she has cheated on me, she has cheated on me once, however that
was last september, she got drunk and messed around with a guy. Every
girl I have been with has cheated on me. My question is, do I have any
right for my suspicion, or do I just have low self-esteem? Thanks for
your help
Hi Mitchell,
You need to do some study here.If you suspect every act of her's and feel very insecure about the relationship,well you need to take some time off to put things in perspective and grow up a little.If you think this is not a frequent problem,then you need to talk to her and tell her how you feel about her.May be you need to forgive her,after all she was not in her senses when she did what she did.And yes its not a nice thing to do such things often by getting drunk.So,theres no point suspecting her and going mad by thinking about things to yourself and expecting the worst to happen all the time.Talk it out...
Well,if you think every girl has cheated you,then its just hard luck.You are still 19 and have the entire life left.Be hopeful and optimistic.Learn to take things in a tolerant manner.Good Luck!
295.
Name:Martha
City:Babylon
Sex :Female
Age :20
Date/Time of Posting:Apr 23 2003 / 23:51:05
Martha's Problem:
I have been dating someone for about 3 years now. I
wanted to get married to this person in the future..but I feel he puts too
much emphasis on looks and weight. He's in shape,and I'm slightly
overweight. He's embarrassed to go dancing with me and to go with the
beach with me. How can this be true love?? I told him how I felt and he
just says "just lose the weight". He told me if I want to get married I
should lose the weight??? We fight every now and then, but its mostly
about this issue. My friends think he is dead wrong, but I love this
man.. I just wish I could let him see how wrong he is...
Hi Martha,
Well,it truly is not the right thing to do.He's got some complexes and really needs some talking to be done to rid him off his obsession with your weight.Ask him one thing.Left to himself does he still feel so uncomfortable about your weight?I think his problem is only with how would people look at you and treat you,and what would people think of him and you as a couple.
He needs to stop bothering about people.As long as you are fit and fine and you are confident about the way you look,theres nothing you or he should worry about.He needs to stop worrying about people and concentrate on your relationship.From what you have written,I understand tehres no other problem betwen the two of you,and you both must make a wonderful couple.Ask him to give it a thought.I guess things will be fine.Believe me,he loves you,but has got his notions messed up.
Wish you the very best and may your relationship end in a succesful marriage!
294.
Name:Angel
City:Alaska
Sex :Female
Age :17
Date/Time of Posting:Apr 21 2003 / 23:14:34
Angel's Problem:
I have several problems in my life. My number one
problem is my mother. I don't have a father so my mom is raising me by
herself. I think it would really help a lot if I had a father but that's
not an option. My problem with my mother is the way she's always yelling
at me. I've tried talking to my counselor about it but she didn't
really say anything or help me out which is why I'm here. My mom is always
calling me names and stuff. I try to talk to her about stuff but she
never listens. When she calls me names she uses really bad names. I
thought about suicide but when I do think about it, I think about my bf
and what he'd think if I had committed suicide. That's another problem
I have. My mother doesn't like my bf. He's 19. He's like 2 and a 1/2
years older than me. She says that she's tried to put up with him but
he always has an attitude. I tried talking to him. I tried talking to
her. Nothing works. I don't know what to do and that's why I
'm writing to you. On Saturday, I got in trouble. I was drinking
with some people. My bf wasn't there. I told my mother what happened.
She doesn't believe me. I told her that my bf found me and brought me
home. She thinks I'm lying. She said that she's going to get my bf in
trouble if I don't tell her the truth but I did! She's saying that
she'll tell the cops stuff about him that's not even true. She's willing
to lie about him to put him in jail. I don't want him to go to jail
for stuff he hasn't done. I don't know why she hates so much. Please
help! -Confused-
Hi Angel,
I can understand what it means to not have a dad.But I must appreciate the matured and elegant manner you've accepted things.
First you must learn how not to get flustered and perturbed by your mom.Your mom may have a million things worrying her and she probably is getting the frustrations out on you.Definitely she needs to handle things better,but you cant do much about it.
Try keeping her happy,by doing all the small things she asks you to do.And see to it that your boyfriend's topic doesnt arise too often at home.Concentrate on your career,that would bring some peace to your mom.In short you must learn to become an effective people handler.You can always keep your boyfriend issues to yourself,and talk about it to your mom when the stage is set one fine day.I pressume you have made a sane choice about your partner.Good Luck!
293.
Name:Martin
City:Wigan
Sex :Male
Age :15
Date/Time of Posting:Apr 19 2003 / 11:53:10
Martin's Problem:
hi there, i'm dating this girl called sam and shes in my
class at school. we have been dating for 2 weeks and i like her alot
but she keeps touching me and trying to get me to touch her but i'm a bit
scared cos ive never done anything with a girl before apart from
kissing. i'm scared cos shes really popular and if i dump her then she will
tell every one i dumped her cos i'm scared of sex and everyone will
think i'm gay but if i do what she wants then i will be crap cos i dont
know what to do and then she will dump me and tell everyone i am crap.
Hi Martin,
I think you need to just concentrate on holding her hands and getting to know her more and letting her know more about you.And no sex....your 15!
If you think things are not working out with her,well,accept the fact and get going with life.Find someone of your frequency,may be you need to work on your patience,believe me its worth the virtue!People "talking" about you would'nt make a wee bit of difference if you dont care...your self image is more imprtant and that confidence would win you people.Good luck!
292.
Name:Kathryn
City:Cumbria
Sex :Female
Age :14
Date/Time of Posting:Apr 19 2003 / 11:39:29
Kathryn's Problem:
I need your advice and i need it quick. I am about to
tell you my darkest secret so please dont judge me on it. I just want you
to know i am complpletely sane and liked by many people and what i have
done is completley out of charchter. For the past twelve months i have
(and still am)been in love with a lad six years older than me. He didnt
even know that i was alive, i followed him every where, football
practice, his work, his local pub and even shopping and it completley took
over my life. None of my friends know this and i have had to make up
endless excuses so that i could see him.The worst of it is that he never
noticed me, never. Four days ago i followed him to a house, a girls
house, his ******* girlfriends house! how could he be with her when she
dosnt love him half as much as i do? i was devestated and i did attempt
suicide that night but obviously was not sucessful.i dont know what to do
with myself, my heart is broken. Every one keeps asking whats wro
ng but i cant tell them, they wouldnt understand.I love him so much
and i'm so scared of going back out side and following him again because
i dont want to watch him fall inlove with someone else. I need to see
him so much.Please help me, i'm begging you, your the only person who
knows and i need your advice, please.
Hi Kathryn,
You dont need to worry about being judged or anything.
Tweleve months!..hmmmmm!First get rid of the thought that youve done something out of character or immoral.You've done nothing wrong.Ofcourse what youve done may be a little silly and foolish,but believe me theres nothing wrong in it.So you dont need to feel guilty and sinful about what you've done.If theres anyone who was hurt in the process its been you,and you need to stop doing what you are doing.Cut it right now.Sit down and think.Do you think you would even get to talk to him and tell him what you feel if you continue doing what you are doing?You bet you wont...a year's experience is enough to tell you that!
If you are sure he's seeing someone else,well stop thinking about him.You cant do anything about it.Theres really no point in expecting things to cick between you and him.Stop wasting time..and get along.This probably may be your first time in life when you've come across something that is better left alone...and you cant do much about it.Accept the situation...
And if you think he's single,well gather courage to just say a hello to him...dont burden yourself by expecting things to kick off the very first encounter.But before doing this you need to do the following.
Make a vow not to do that foolish act of following him everywhere and making attempts to see him.Find something nicer to do..something that draws your senses and something that you can immerse yourself totally in.Stop seeing him and eventually you'd stop thinking of him every minute and goign crazy not knowing what to do.Give yourself a break and let things calm down.Its just your obsession to see him that is making you do things that you dont want to do.So make the vow....Then,after about a few months if you still feel you need to talk to him go ahead and talk.
Making a vow must be sincere,you must be true to yourself.Only then you can make a sane decision after soemtime.Good Luck!
291.
Name:CARL
City:LONDON
Sex :Male
Age :13
Date/Time of Posting:Apr 18 2003 / 22:56:13
CARL's Problem:
IVE BEEN GOING OUT WITH A GIRL FOR NOT VERY LONG WE HAVE
JUST SPLIT UP BECAUSE SHE FEELS WE ARE BETTER OFF AS FREINDS BUT I DONT
THINK THAT WE ARE BECAUSE SHE IS'NT ACTING THE WAY SHE USED TO AROUND
ME. I FEEL VERY STONGLY ABOUT HER AND I THINK THAT SHE FEELS THE SAME
ABOUT ME I WANT TO LET HER KNOW HOW I REALY FEEL ABOUT HER BUT I DO NOT
KNOW HOW SHE WILL REACT I AM GOING MAD THINKING ABOUT HER BECAUSE SHE IS
THE ONLY PERSON I CAN THINK ABOUT
PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME
Hi CARL,
Well,it may be that she needs some time and got into the relationship without knowing what to expect.And now she just wants some time out.You need to respect her idea and be a good friend.This is not the end of the world..after all she's still going to be your friend.Stop feeling insecure.Act with confidence.If theres anything that would impress her that would ceratinly be the way you carry yourself and the confidence you show.Things can always work in the future.Be patient.Good Luck!
290.
Name:Amy
City:Melrose
Sex :Female
Age :11
Date/Time of Posting:Apr 18 2003 / 22:55:50
Amy's Problem:
so my ex best friend says she doesnt want to be friends
so i said fine then. so then i go online she starts callin me mean stuff
and i dont no what to do
Hi Amy,
In a nutshell,block her id!As long as you know you have never intentionally hurt her well,just leave the thing.But if you look back and you can figure out why she is mad at you,then to smoothen out things you must make an appolgy..say a sorry.Remember to be true to yourself in the excercise.Good Luck!
289.
Name:Nakul
City:Udaipur
Sex :Male
Age :17
Date/Time of Posting:Apr 17 2003 / 18:38:53
Nakul's Problem:
Q1.sometimes i get very much depressed n think wat will i
do???how would i pass???i.e i lack my confidence sometimes n feel soooo
embarassed that no1 could help me that time......
Q2.my dad n mom says am a talented guy...if it is sooo....then how do i
find talent in me?????
Hi Nakul,
There would be times when we feel washed out,dead,finished and gone.We all,as human beings go through these lose phases and its in our hands if this would remain a phase or let it dictate our entire life!
The first step to success is to believe you can be a winner.Stop worrying and stop anticipating failure so much,to an extent that you are bound to see it.Weigh things out with a pinch of optimism.Sit back and look at all your achievements.Feel proud about them,no matter how small they may be to the rest of the world.You know it meant a lot to you...perhaps getting an excelent grade in a class test,or anything else!You have been a winner,and you definitely can be one in the future too!Be your best friend...practice optimism and self-confidence would be an obvious product of it!
You need to go about it in a systematic way.Set a goal.Write it on a sheet of paper.Divide it into subgoals.See how each thing would eventually lead to your final goal.If you are limping,self-discipline and orderliness need to be your crutches!Remember you cant change things overnight.Small doses everyday is what you need and that is what would almost effortlessly put you on top.
Identifying your talent would mean self confidence and knowing what you like and mastering what you like.Be brave,and Good Luck to you Nakul!
288.
Name:Samantha
City:Spring Lake
Sex :Female
Age :14
Date/Time of Posting:Apr 17 2003 / 00:57:33
Samantha's Problem:
Me and my friend have been best friends for 8 years now.
She had this boyfriend and they've been together for over ten months
now and have broken up like 5 times already, the only bad ting about him
is that he's kinda older than her. They just lost her virginity to him
a month ago and since then they've slept together 9 times! I'm kinda
worried about her because i dont want anything bad to happen to her. she
swears that they are extremely careful but that still doesnt make me
feel any better. What should i tell her or better yet is it safe for her
to be doing this already?
Hi Samantha,
I really appreciate the concern you have for your friend.Well,I would only say your friend seems
to be confused and making too many fast moves.Sex at 14 is not something thats ok!I may
sound just like any other adult advicing you...but this is it!
Well,you need to talk to her and explain things to her.Try to educate her on the possible
diseases that are transmitted through sex.Do some research and then speak to her.Even you could
learn things in the process!And am happy you are not carried away by what your friend is
doing and that you still have your senses!Good Luck!
287.
Name:Ronna
City:Cleveland
Sex :Female
Age :16
Date/Time of Posting:Apr 17 2003 / 00:44:15
Ronna's Problem:
i go to school out of town i dont live at home, and i
came home about a week ago for spring break and i took my fahters car out
and i drove aloe for the first time, and i accidentaly got in an
accident, i lied to hime and told hime that some one hit me while i was
parked in a parking lot, i dont jnow how to tellhim with out loosing driving
privelages, adn this just maeks everything worse between me and hime i
live with my father since my parents are divorced and he got custdy
over me, he doesnt know that i am clinicaly depressed and dneed to go on
meds but i dontk now how to tell him i know both things will hurt him an
i dont want to hurt him. what should i do???
Hi Ronna,
Now that you have already told your dad a different story and its been some time,I guess you can
gather some courage to speak the truth to your dad regarding the car.I am sure if you sit down
and slowly explain it to your dad he would appreciate your honesty.And he wouldnt be really
hard on you.
About your depression and medication I only think your father deserves to know about your health.
Talking to him would definitely ease your nerves.Depression is not something you can conquer all
alone.You need to talk to people,and talking to someone like your dad would certainly do good.
He would take it in the right perspective and he's old enough to handle it.So dont you worry
about the consequences of telling him.Good Luck Ronna!
286.
Name:Isis
City:Christchurch
Sex :Female
Age :19
Date/Time of Posting:Apr 14 2003 / 15:02:40
Isis's Problem:
life is a game is it not? my problems like all elses, are
layers deep. Anxiety and depression i have come to know very well;
along with self doubt and paranoid dillusional fear. i'm in a relationship
with a guy whom i love endlessly (if there was such a thing).he and i
have been together for almost three years and haved lived together for
almost all of that time, we recently moved to Australia and now i have
returned home, alone. we are still together, and it is hard. this is not
the problem as such. wording this is not easy. we agreed to be apart
for some time; now that i am away from his mental pressure, my thoughts
have been plagued with fear and anxiety. was his aim (in the
relationship) to see how far he could play and oy with a person, see how far he
could streatch an idea and turn it into reality. i don't want to play his
games but i don't want to play with anyone else. i don't know if this
is all that clear? his mind control is so subtle that its almost
undetectable, but is this just my fear and paranoia or is there actual
an unforseen game being played? any-who psychotic or not i'd like to
hear an ouside opinion.
cheers Isis
Hi Isis,
From what I can understand,you seem to be worried about the future of your relationship.To get
rid of your fears and doubts you need to do only one thing.Talk to him and clarify the whole
thing.Theres no use making your own assumptions and living in doubt endlessly.
Perhaps you could also sit back and think for yourself if there was anything between
the two of you in the recent past that makes you feel inconfiednt about your relationship.
See the causes and weigh things out and take time do it.I am sure things would be fine.Good Luck
Isis!
285.
Name:Christine
City:Suffolk
Sex :Male
Age :??
Date/Time of Posting:Apr 13 2003 / 13:32:27
Christine's Problem:
i am making my own website..... and i need HELP!!!! Do ya
know that submit button down there??? (im making an advice page 2) i
put one of those and does it go to a folder or something???? Thats only
one thing but can u tell me where it goes??? And have u ever made a chat
room??? i also have a chat room on my web site. if u do or even if you
just know can u tell me how it works....ya know.....when somebody types
somthing in then they push enter it pops up on the big
screen.???.....Welllll... PLEASE answer these questions for me!!!!!!! i will want to
recieve them as soon as possible. And if you do answer these questions
thank you bunches early> :0)
Hi Christine,
Nice that you are making a website!
Since you have asked about the "Submit" button,I guess you want to put up some kind of
a form on your site.So first of all create the form using HTML.Thats pretty simple...using all
the form attributes in which ever way you require.Next comes the most important part of the form.
....the Submit button.This is how poeple can send across the information they've just typed in
the form to the owner of the form.There are several ways you can get your form running.
First see if your ISP provides you with a facility to process forms.If so you can use their
script.It is generally free of cost.If you cant get it from your ISP,theres no problem.There
are other ways to get your form working.
Choose a good and free web hosting service that provides you free script for running your form.
I'd recommend Angelfire.
Or,you could use form processing sites that are meant specially for processing forms.You could
register free of cost.You could search on the internet and choose one such service provider
which you like.The steps are simple..you can easily do it.
Another option is for you to learn advanced server programming.
And as far as where these forms would go when people click submit button,you could set up options
for the form to reach your mail box!This is possible.
And the thing about including chat facility on your site would require some knowledge
of scripting.If you are seriously into it you can learn scripting and do it.
Another thing is that you could use the same form script to run multiple forms on your site.
Just change the form attributes as you may require,but the action part would be same for all
forms.
I would strongly recommend Bravenet.com for the excellent and smooth servcie they provide for
all their users.They provide scripts for form processing,chat,etc.
Any further correspondences are welcome.Do send me your link!Good Luck Christine!
284.
Name:Barbara
City:Santa Rosa
Sex :Female
Age :10
Date/Time of Posting: Apr 10 2003 / 04:13:11
Barbara's Problem:
Sometimes I feel like I have no friends. And sometimes I
KNOW I have no friends. Everbody thinks I'm dorky, geeky. My mom says,
"What are you talking about? Your beautiful!" But nobody seems to think
that. I've always been in pretty good shape, but all of the sudden I'm
lazy and i think I've gained some weight. Dont be silly! Thats what Mom
says when I tell her I'm fat and ugly. But what more can you expect
from you mom. I will admit that at one time in my life I thought I was
cool, pretty. But that has changed, for some reason. And all the "cool"
girls at my school look at me like I'm such a dork. I am so stupid. I am
such a baby. Well, accidemically I am not stupid, I pass with nice
grades, but you know what I mean. For some weird reason all the sudden I
have been really stressing over my clothes, how I look. All my clothes
are so dorky. jean shorts with flowers on them. And a thick, ugly purple
tanktop that makes me look fatter. Thats the stuff mom buys. I dr
ess with the worst sence of style. All my friends (if I have any) have
cool, grownup clothes. Shirts from cool stores like abercrombie or
Limited Too. And I feel like a geek. Its to late to start making friends, I
think. I mean, everybody knows me now, who would want to come over, now
that they know what a weirdo I am? ( I am already almost in 6th grade)
I used to have this so called best friend, but she got all popular and
totally dumped me for the popular crowd. I am too shy and embarressd to
have anyone over, because I know they won't want to come. I spend
countless days in the library at lunch, reading, all by myself, no one to
play withno onewho wants to play with me, that is. Mom says I exagerate.
Im too down on myself. But its true, nobody likes me. I wish I were
popular. Will I be a freak forever? Please help. Oh yeah, wait, one more
thing. I think one of the reasons I have no friends is because I am a
twin. Abby, my twin, has no friends either. sometimes I consider
her more dorky then I am. we both sturggle with friendships. Abby is
so clueless, though, when it comes to social stuff. She is not aware at
all that we are so unpopular. Shes always picking fights with me, well
I guess I do too, infront of our friends. They get totally annoyed. And
whenever Abby does something totally "uncool" (remember, I'm serious,
she's totally clueless) our friends think we are both losers. Abby and
ame. Together. As ones. To everybody that knows us, we are just the
twins. The twins with no friends, that is. I really wish tow things: That I
was popular and pretty, and wasn't a twin. Again, I know this problem
is very long, and hard to respond to, but please, I need help.
Hi Barbara,
You are 10.You are still growing and theres no reason why you must think you are
not ok with your looks.You know something?..You are going to grow and your looks
are going to change.Barabara what matters most is not the way you look.Well,the way you
project yourself is more important.You would be popular if you stop thinking your not
goodloking and stop thinking that you are unpopular.You are no less tahn your friend who became
"popular"!You only need to be more positive,happy and confident.These qualities are closely
interlinked and they happen when you stop thinking you cant be popular and likeable.It would
show on your face and you would certainly have no problem talking to people.
Barbara...you are good at studies too.What more do you need?Did anyone ever tell you are ugly?
You are not...its all up in your head.Like what you wear.Next time you go out
with mom,perhaps you could select your clothes!
Be warm and friendly with everyone around..and people would start liking you.Never isolate
yourself.If you dont talk to people they wouldnt talk to you!But thats gona leave you
sad and dry.It would make you think you are unpopular while that is not the
fact!Only if you go out and talk to people they would talk to you.Get comfortable with people.They dont think you are a geek.Its only you who is thinking your a geek.
Believe me theres nothing wrong with you.And stop worrying about Abby..things will be fine soon.
Start smiling and go amke friends.Good Luck!
283.
Name:Jody
City: Wellsville
Sex :Female
Age :20
Date/Time of Posting: Apr 04 2003 / 20:35:17
Jody's Problem:
I have not had a real good life. I have these walls
built up around me and I can't let anyone in because I am afraid of getting
hurt. I have a friend who is much older than me and I care about her a
lot. She has even adopted me as her daughter. I also work at her
business. Anymore I feel like she is slipping away from me. I am scared
that I am losing her. When I bring this up to her she just says that I
am wrong. How can I make her understand how she makes me feel
sometimes? She has told me that I was selfish just because I want to spend
time with her. This person is the most important person in my life right
now. When I first met her my parents had me convinced that I was
worthless even though I worked all through High School, got good grades
Moved out as soon as I turned 18 and have worked and lived by myself ever
since.(Part of the reason that she started telling people that i was her
daughter and I told people that she was my mom) She knows my wh
ole past. This person made me feel like a real person she made me
realize that i was somebody and that I was far from worthless.
But like I said I feel like she is slipping away from me we aren't as
good of friends anymore. I kind of feel like the only reason that she
even keeps in contact with me is because of what I do for her in her
business and her own personal finances which i also take care of. How can
I find out if she is tired of me, whether I really am wrong and she
still cares, or if she is just using me now? And how can I make her
understand how she is making me Feel???
Please I need help. If it is at all possible could you just send your
answer to my e-mail? I would really appreciate it. Thank You very
much for taking the time to read all of this chatter.
Hi Jody,
Well first of all your problem was not chatter to me!Do you think it was chatter?I bet even you
dont think so!Anyway....
You must understand that all relationships have ups and downs.This is real life.You really cant
expect realtionships to be absolutely smooth and happy all the time.You must be mature enough
to know this is only a phase.You need to be sensitive.Try talking to her
and see if she's preoccupied with any problem,and she might want to talk with you.
See if you annoyed her with anything..Or there simply may not be any reason why she's behaving
the way she is behaving.Its a part of life...a phase...and things will be fine soon.
Well,what exactly is troubling you is that you are probably overwhelmed by the fact that she
helped you out and thats making you feel very indebted to her.And this is draining you out.Be calm.
Its nice to be grateful.But not in a way that makes you totally drained out and makes you feel
insecure about things.
Jody,just give things a thought..put things in right perspective.Take a break.Things will be fine.
Good luck Jody!
282.
Name:Rebecca
City:Brussels
Sex :Female
Age :17
Date/Time of Posting: Apr 04 2003 / 03:21:58
Rebecca's Problem:
My dad is a business man. His business is very important
to him. He wants my older brother to take his place. My brother isn't
very receptive to that. Dad rips him apart every chance he gets. Of
course brother dear mouths back and gets himself hit. Dad even called
him worthless after he attempted suicide. Something needs to be done
about both of them but I don't know what that is.
Hi Rebecca,
Your brother probably needs to talk to your dad and stop arguing with him everytime your dad brings up the topic.He needs to sit down and tell your dad what he wants to do and why he wants to do if he doesnt want to join your dad's business.That way even your dad would begin to understand him.Its certainly better than just saying a "No" to him without giving a proper reson.
Well,perhaps your brother can even strike a deal with your dad.He could help your dad with certain kinds of work that fits his schedule and also doesnt get in the way of his dream.
The solution to this problem lies in a compromise from both your dad and brother.But this is possible only when your brother politely explains things to your dad,and offer to atleast help him for a while till he realizes his dreams.As I said he need'nt even do it full time.They need to get into some sort of agreement.I am sure there will be a way out.Good Luck,and I appreciate your concern over the matter!
281.
Name:Nisha
City:Louisville
Sex :Male
Age :15
Date/Time of Posting: Apr 03 2003 / 12:34:18
Nisha's Problem:
i need to know whether this guy likes me or not,but i
like him a lot,but i feel shy to say him,,,,
get me the predictions of luv,,,
plz,
Hi Nisha,
Haha,I cannot do any "predctions of love"!You can just tell him you like him.You need not really necessarily get into a relationship right away.Get rid of that idea...then you will be much more confident and would feel free talking to him.After all he's going to be there and not disappear one fine day suddenly!So whats the hurry.Take it easy and be composed.Good Luck!
280.
Name:Josh
City:Louisville
Sex :Male
Age :15
Date/Time of Posting: Apr 01 2003 / 23:09:01
Josh's Problem:
i am stupid...I was taking a pic with my girlfriend for
picday and the guy asked us wat we were.A couple, friends, or family. I
said friends. We told each other that we liked each other but i dont
know if we are a couple.
Hi Josh,
Well,if you dont know what you are,then since you know her and she knows you,you probably are good friends.Theres no hurry to draw any other conclusion.Time would answer!Good Luck!
279.
Name:Davey Mouser
City:Calhan
Sex : Male
Age :14
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 31 2003 / 06:09:55
Davey's Problem:
Well first off my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer and
was given 1 mounth to a year to live.Second we are about to lose our
house because the guy we bought it from put loans on it that we cant
afford to pay off.Third I have herneas that need to be fixed and we cant
afford the sergey.Forth there is a girl i relly like that i have asked
out and she said no and now im relly depressed and I cant get over
it.Fifth my dad has heart problems and has to be on life support to
live.Lastly my grandpa and grandma just died in a car crash.So i dont know how
to handle all this.Plese help.
Hi Davey,
We all face times like this.You are just being tested.Only courage and optimism can help
you sail across.You know what I mean.Each one of us face these problems,its just that you
have been faced by them in very short intervals of time.And this is making you see all the
problems insurmountable.
No matter what,you need to be brave and optimistic beyond the obvious.There would be times when
you really feel hopeless.Its not the end.Believe in better times.The money problem would
eventually be settled.I am sure your dad would find some way out!Have faith in him and be
confident about your him.He would do something.See a doctor for your hernias and see if you could
momentarily keep things under control.Take care of dad and see that you dont hurt him
anyway.Am sure that would do a lot of good to his heart.
Cherish your moments with mom.Make everyday worth living for her.Dont look at her
like a patient.Be brave Davey.Best of luck!
278.
Name:Stevie
City:Rootstown
Sex :Female
Age :13
Date/Time of Posting: Mar 29 2003 / 04:12:45
Stevie's Problem:
I just got put in a new foster home and the people are
realy great but they always want to know what I'm feeling.Well I can't
really say I feel like Ineed a NewPort but,I guesse I need to express my
feelings but I don't know if I'm really ready to talk about my
past.What should I do?
Hi Stevie,
You must understand that your people in the foster home are peole who care for you and love you.They want to help you out with any worries that you have.Stop feeling they are intruding.They are your people.Believe me it does a lot of good when you share your worries or anything to people near you.They would never judge you.You are going to feel good.Talk to people around.Dont isolate yourself.Talk about your past if they want to know.Good Luck!
277.
Name:Anonymous
City:New York
Sex :Female
Age :14
Date/Time of Posting: Mar 28 2003 / 00:32:37
Anonymous's Problem:
Wow. There's so much to tell, and I feel like there's no
one I can go to...not even my best friend. Everything: school, grades,
parents, friends, guys...everything's overwhlming me right now. I try
constantly to make my parents happy, especially in school by keeping
good grades, then they act like I give them so much trouble. I know a lot
of people don't believe that there are 'favorites' in families, but I
can't help but feel they love my brother, Kyle more. They always pay
attention to him and he gets what he wants most of the time. I have to
work for everything and it still doesn't pay off. My parents don't trust
me especially because I'm the youngest and their only girl. Then there's
my best friend. She's so good to me 98 percent of the time, or at least
that's what I like to think. We've been best friends literally our
entire lives, and she has the more upfront personality. Everyone likes her
more and it's not even that which bothers me. Everyone thinks I c
opy her, but it's really just the fact that we like all the same
things after being around each other so much. They all say things to her and
no one says anything to me about it even though I'd be perfectly okay
with it. Plus she tells them things about me, just little ones, but it
bothers me. People will always take her side, even if we aren't
fighting. I'd talk to her about it but I don't have any proof, and if I had
someone to vent to, I'd probably end up doing the same thing. Then there
are the guys. There's this one guys I really like, but he's in a
relationship, that we both know he shouldn't and doesn't want to be in. I
don't know if he likes me at all or if he's just too afraid to say it. I've
know him for 4 years and we tell each other everything. I think I can
honestly say I love him (not obsessively), whatever love is at 14
anyway. To add on to my problems, there's the constant thought of suicide. 2
years ago, I attempted suicide twice. No one ever knew. No one do
es, except you. I'd like to think I can talk to someone about it but
everytime I have a problem, people just think I'm overexaggerating
because "i have such a great life" at least compared to other people. I know
I won't kill myself because I don't have a gun and I'm terrified of
doing to any other way. It really disturbs me though. I'm so scared of
what anyone would think of me if I told them. I don't want to take any
chances, if I can help it. Please help. I know it's a lot but I just want
some advice. Thanks.
Hi Anonymous,
I feel nice that you have told me things that you havent told anyone!....thanks for the honour!
I feel its done good to you too..venting out everything.
First,about your brother and you...
If you feel they allow your brother to do more things than they allow you and
he gets his way out always..well may be true!But if you think they love him more
than they love you,..well its not true.The only reason why they do what
they do is that you are their younger kid and they always tend to think
you are young and want to protect you.They are your parents and thats why they
are like this.Only time can be a solution.When you become a little older,slowly
you would get more freedom.Stop feeling they dont love you or they dont trust you.Thats
not true.Thats not the way we must interpret their way of doing things.I
am not taking their side or something,well,am just telling you
the truth,believe in this....you will certainly be more peaceful!
Regarding your friend....
Well,stop thinking what people are going to think.Why should you care.You need to
do what you like and have your tastes.If it coincides with your friend,well you really cant
help it.Perhaps all the more reason why you both must be best friends because you have similar
tastes!Well,about popularity you only need to be yourself...be more positive in your approach
with people..be more confident.You would be a magnet!Be sane enough to not get people to
spoil your relationship with your friend.And when your friend does things that are not so
nice,well you need to tell her.I am sure she would understand.
About the guy you like...
Well,if you think he's already in a relationship then perhaps you need to stop thinking
about him.Be patient....things would turn good in the future!
And suicide?...nonesense.Never even think of it again.Be brave and confident.The world is
yours...your born to live!Good luck!
276.
Name:Mary
City:L.A
Sex :Female
Age :20
Date/Time of Posting: Mar 28 2003 / 00:26:25
Mary's Problem:
I really dont have time to see if the solution to my
problem is up there but i need some help. Ever since Ive turned 20 ive felt
like crap. Is there a thing called early 20 crisis? from that I started
eating, not just eating binging and badly, also i gained weight from it
and I am very weight concious. I was 110 and now up to 130 which is
making me more depress than ever!! ive seen a school conselr,( I cant
afford theraphY, so this is as good) talked to my parents,friends, been to
a group thing and nothing works and Ive tried to keep the faith but I
feel totally lost. I feel like nothing is going right and that I am an
awful person. I feel totally hopeless. thanks for listening ,,,,
Hi Mary,
Well,I think theres no age for "crisis" to strike...early 20's or early50's...its very very indvidual specific.That is waht I think.
Mary,first you must sit and think whats really worrying you..All your activities,etc are mere distractions if you do them just to stop thinking of your problems and have some peace.The real peace would come when you find out what really is worrying you.Find out how you can solve them.How can you acheive your dreams...think of that.Get things into right perspectives.Know your priorities well.All this may take time,but you need to do it.Its better than wanting change everyday and still not being happy..because everytime you go to enjoy you really are not doing that completely...theres always an undercurrent of your worries and you are too impatient or sometimes even lay to stop and think over about them.In the end theres a huge drain out of energy and you once again feel lost and helpless.So Mary be optimistic and believe in yourself.Know that your problems are not gona eat you up forever.So the key to your happiness is in identifying your problems clearly and not just being worried without know ing what exactly is worrying you.You could write them down and think of each one of them.We all have our problems.I have my problems.So dont feel left out.Work ways out,not all of us do it...you do it!Be disciplined and optimistic and determined.Good Luck!!!
275.
Name:Nick
City:Rio
Sex :Male
Age :20
Date/Time of Posting: Mar 26 2003 / 22:03:42
Nick's Problem:
I work for a nigthclub in Rio. I have been there for 2
years and just started dating a girl we hired a few months back who is
very beautiful. I think I am in love with her and I know she is in love
with me because she told me and by the way she acts toward me, we don't
fight and have a great relationship. There is one thing that is
bothering me or maybe it shouldn't be? The Mgr at the club has another
girlfriend that works there and they are always trying to go out and get drunk
with my girl. They will invite her to go away with them and everything,
dinner, bars whatever, I am always invited as well but I am very busy
so alot of the time my girl will go out with them and they will all have
a great time together, they are very pushy when asking her to go out
though and it almost always involves drinking. I know the mgrs girl does
not have alot of friends so she might just want the company but I just
get a funny feeling about things. Is this something I should be
concerned about or am I just crazy? I also heard that even though the
mgr is in love with his girl when my girl first started working there
she was told that the mgr was interested in her. My girl feels funny
saying No to them because she works for the couple, even though she has a
good time with them I think its a little weird how they always want to
hang out with her, she is alot of fun and very beautiful but I wouldn't
want another girl hanging out with us all the time, Do you think there
are other motives here or am I just being stupid? I know how bar and
night club mgr's are and I don't trust them.
Hi Nick,
Since you've been working there for about 2 years now,you must be knowing in general,what kind of a man is your manager.And does your girl know you love her?May be you need tot ell ehr and even know what she thinks of you.And then you can tell your girl,rather she herself would be hesitant to go beyond limits when shes with your manager and his girl.Talk to your girl.Good Luck!
274.
Name:Desiree
City:New York
Sex :Female
Age :14
Date/Time of Posting: Mar 25 2003 / 23:52:12
Desiree's Problem:
what do you do when people are makeing you have sex wit
them and makeing you do things you donot want to do.and what if it was
one of your family memebers that was doing this
Hi Desiree,
You really need to talk to your elders regarding this and NOT do this or give into it anymore.How can you do something that you dont want to do?Sex is not something to be done at 14.Did you get that right?Talk to people near you and get rid of the nonsense.I am sure you would have atleast one member in your family who would listen to you.Else,talk to your teacher or a close relative and sort the thing out.I really wish you are out of this.Good Luck!
273.
Name:Brid
City:Cheltenham
Sex :Female
Age :14
Date/Time of Posting: Mar 25 2003 / 21:37:35
Brid's Problem:
its not that important but its getting me down!! my
boyfriend loves me and i dont feel the same way and i want to end it but i
dont want to hurt him cuz we'r good friends!! please dont tell me to
just talk to him because i cant and this was all such a big mistake and i
am sooo sorry for doin this to him!! please help!!
Hi Brid,
Well,wheteher you want me to say it or not....I am saying it.You need to talk to him.Theres no other way out.So muster up some courage and say it to him.Theres no point painting a beautiful picture for him and later breaking his heart.Just end it.And when you dont feel anymore for the relationship in the way you are supposed to then theres really no way that you can naturally continue the relationship.It would result in one hell of an artificial endeavour and become more complicated by the day.Tell him the truth and save yourself from more complications.The next time you enter a relationship make sure you really are into it and dont just enter into one just because youa re "supposed to" have a boyfriend.Good Luck!
272.
Name: Chelsea
City: Hamilton
Sex :Female
Age :10
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 25 2003 / 19:19:57
Chelsea's Problem:
My parents are not together and I wanted to live with my
dad and my mom got mad and she is mad at me because I told the lawyer
the truth and she is mad at me and it makes me cry because she said she
didnt love me. Im really sad someone please give me advice
Hi Chelsea,
Sometimes we need to go through this in life.Let me tell you one thing.Both your parents really love you.The divorce doesnt mean that one of them does not love you.Well,your mom may have said she doesnt love you.But she really doesnt mean this.She does love you as much she always did and perhaps even more now.She said that in haste and with a preoccupied mind with all the divorce thing coming up in her mind.She doesnt want to lose you,that was why she said that.Well,you must understand that mommy isnt in a very nice phase.She may say things that really hurt you.Well,dont get caried away.Let me assure you she doesnt really mean when she hurts you.She really loves you!
Well,wait for things to happen,that are not much in any of our hands..the court,the lawyers..etc.Both your parents love you...theres no doubt about it.Good Luck!
271.
Name:Jessica
City:Kingman
Sex :Female
Age :16
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 21 2003 / 22:31:09
Jessica's Problem:
My problem in I know I'm in love with a guy from a town
four hours away and he asked me out and I said yes and we have been
going out for over a week and I haven't told my parents yet. How do I tell
them? And yes we have seen each other since the day he asked me out.
Plus he wants me to go to "Cowboy Prom" in a town six hours away. I
have found a dress but I don't know how to ask my parents. How do I ask
them? I also want to know, How do get them to let me go with him even
though they haven't met him? He is coming back here in two weeks to
see me because he has rodeos all weekend until he is free. He also
wants me to come see him ride bulls in Scott City which is north of his
home town. How do I ask them because they are really strick people and I
probably think they wouldn't believe me if I told them I am in love
with him because they will tell me it is a phase and I need to find
someone closer. But I want this to work and I want them to get to know
him before they judge us. What do I do? Please answer all my
questions.
Hi Jessica,
Well,you must knowing your parents better than I do.I think it would be wise to behave in a way that doesnt upset them.Well,that may mean you dont go out of your city.But I want you to know thats not the end of the world.You must make some sacrifices like these to have things going on smooth.You could talk to your boyfriend and let him now your problem.I am sure he would be understanding.Theres no shame in admitting this to your boyfriend.He's not going to think you are a kid or something.The idea is to avoid wrath at home.After all you can meet him otherwise.Be patient and let things happen slowly.Good Luck!
!
270.
Name:Vicky
City:Belfast
Sex :Female
Age :11
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 19 2003 / 17:35:38
Vicky's Problem:
hey, i hope you still look @ this site has their doesnt
seem to have been a post for months.
Anyways, theres this smelly, greasy, digusting, cheeky kid @ school. he
really really really is madly in love with me. In the playground he
follows me about and its driving me mad. ive tried telling him nicely and
nastily that i hate him, but he jsut repeats every word i say. i try to
ignore, but he just bothers me more trying to get my attention. i tell
the teachers, and they say hes been up and saying that IM bothering
him, and that he wouldn't touch more for all the money in thw world, but
they dont notice. say we were moving seats to watch a video, hed alwas
try to sit near me
:(
I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING THATS POSSIBLE IN EVERY SINGLE WAY AND THIS
LITTLE IDIOT STILL IS MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME, HE WONT TAKE A HINT! WHAT THE
HELL CAN I DO!! PLEASE HELP ME, AS THIS IS DRIVING ME MAD.
Hi Vicky,
Am here Vicky.It was just my site was undergoing a technical uplift and so I was mailing solutions directly rather than posting them here!Regular and smooth service has resumed and things are as usual again.Thanks for your concern!
Coming to your problem,well,you really cant do anything if he's "madly in love" with you as you put it.I think you need to stop reacting to him,even reacting in your head and mind!(forget asking him to get away!).Concentrate on other things.He'd probably get bored and give up!All that he's looking for is a reaction from you,so if you dont want him dont even react...good or bad!Best of luck!
269.
Name:Jessica
City:London
Sex :Female
Age :20
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 19 2003 / 16:03:22
Jessica's Problem:
I have been out with my bf since over a year.i am serious
with him and want to be his life partner. However since we
are closer than ever, ive ended up telling him about my ex bf. he was
never aware of my past love life. however since he is a guy very much
aware of his values, he cannot cope with the explanation i gave to him. i
told him about my ex and that it was all physical, thats why i broke
up. i told him i was in my ex bed the first night and my bf knows i am
not this kind of girl. he is the second guy i know but he is the first
one i am in love. my ex was just a crush and i was a fool to believe
him. now i want to know how to make my bf understand that i have told him
the truth and not lying and that i truly love him.he cannot stop asking
me questions about my ex.he wasnt even my ex as he made me
promise not to tell anyone. all he wanted,now ive realised, was just a
girl when he is bored from his gfs.
Hi Jessica,
You need a pat on your back,because you've been brave and frank to your boyfriend.Indeed a very commendable act.
All you can do now is to convince your boyfriend and make him understand things better.You need to talk to him more.Perhaps he feels insecure about the relationship.Well,if he still cannot understand and is beyond any scope of being convinced,may be you need to think over.Theres no point continuing the relationship when theres no mutual trust..and every now and then he gets back to asking you questions that smel of suspicion!
Well,I know this is very hard.May be you could learn something from the experience.The next time you enter into a relationship you would probably want to tell this at the earlier stages and save yourself from a heartbreak.
But let me tell you one thing,if he really loves you and has some sort of sane thinking,he'd not make it a big issue.In fact your relationship should grow stronger!Over here I really cannot predict what your boyfriend would do.If I were in your boyfriend's situation,I'd move on with my love and feel more secure and concrete about the relationship!I wish you good luck Jessica!
268.
Name:Sarah
City:Sheffield
Sex :Female
Age :20
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 18 2003 / 21:45:45
Sarah's Problem:
its about my cousin our family has always been close and
my cousin is really upsetting us all.
he started being in trouble at school a lot but in bens favour the
school is really rubbish they have something called seniour team that deal
with troublesome kids cos the teachers cant handle it anymore they have
a button under the teachers desk and they take advantage of it and this
senior team are harming the kids like pulling there arm i mean our ben
come home one day after being suspended for swearing at a teacher he
had bruises all over his arm from this senior team person now i know and
everyone else knows thats wrong, when i was at school they never
expelled students just for swearing dont get me wrong i dont condone it but i
dont condone that school for suspending them all the time the kids will
just roam the streets.
so thats how it all started but since then he has been self harming,
pulling his hair out he has such a horrible bald patch on the back of his
head which probably wont grow back, we took him to the doctors and he
put him on a waiting list for a phsychiatrist but thats no good he needs
help badly but his parents wont do anything else its like they have
given up on him. i know this sounds so nasty but its like ben doesnt want
any help, today he ran away from home and i tracked him down to this
house he goes to a hell of alot they let him drink alcohol smoke god
knows what he is only 15 he even wags school to go up there and it worrys
me so much they could be doing allsorts to him i mean this young kid
that lives there used to bully him and now its like they are the best of
friends. my nan is getting on a bit and she loves ben to bits and this
is sending her to an early grave.
what can i do to help cos i cant just sit back and let him do that to
himself what if he does something really stupid?
i know that you probably get loads of emails similar but i really need
your help!!!
thanks for your timexxx
Hi Sarah,
I really appreciate your concern and love for your cousin!I am sure you are going to take good care of him and get him out of all this wrath.
Sarah,what your cousin Ben is seeing everywhere is perhaps people blaming him or yelling at him or doing some not so nice things to him all the time.Well,hate breeds hate.And by now he must be one angry young fellow filled with a lot of hatred.You could be his guide.15 is an age where things can go really out of control.So,its a very delicate situation.Just a small nick and it may change his whole life to the worse!So,Sarah you must really love him and be by his side no matter what.Even love breeds love!And you could be that one source of love for him.If you will you could change his life and make him worth his life!
Remember that he was not born this way,its only the situation and people around him that have made him what he is today.So Sarah bringing him to the right path may not be an easy job,there might be times when you REALLY believe he is a gone case and no one can ever mend him.Dont give up.Shower your love on him and get into a warm and special understanding with him.
Build a warm relationship.You need to work on it!Strike a balance between being his friend while at the same time being strict with his rules.You really need to work that out!You must really learn how not to be hard on him,because he already has enough people doing that to him.At the same time you must induce discipline in him.Well,you need to be his all...mentor,friend,sister..and hope!Most importantly,YOU must truly believe that he can be changed.
Remember the following while dealing with him:
Never ridcule him
Never say something that lowers his self-esteem
Never tell him he's an academic wreck
Never tell him he's a social wreck or something as mean as that or to that effect
Never make casual comments about his personality,that may hurt him
Make him believe that he's alright
Always be positive in your approach to him
Spend time talking to him,on a daily basis....be warm...be a good listener
Be there when he needs you
Become his best friend
Sarah,if its possible try putting him in another school where he can start afresh.You know the importance of education and you dont want to mess with that!I wish you good luck with your endeavours and a bright future for Ben!You can feel free to write back to me.
267.
Name:Shreedavy
City:Indore
Sex :Female
Age :17
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 18 2003 / 08:59:10
Shreedavy's Problem:
dear vijai,
hi!!i am a girl...who badly needs ur advice!!
i have 3 problems which are interelated--
1)i just cannot bare my parents anymore!!..they are everytime..shouting
at me..or bugging me..n dat too when i have my own tensions!!
2)my tenison is alwayz about my boyfreind...i think i should trust
him...but i alwayz have the fear of losing him...or he wud ditch me..or
something...i dunno...i luv him a lot..n he too sayz it...but am really
afraid!!we both r helpless..n cannot talk to each other for dayz...coz
even i cannot call at his place...neither he can..at my place!!
3)i am not able to concentrate on studies..b'coz of the above 2
reasons...tried hell lot to concentrate...but NO!!
I AM AT A SUICIDAL STAGE NOW...I DONT WANT TO live a day even wid my
parents!!
PLZZZZ help me
-shreedavy
Hi Shreedavy,
Regarding your parents,well,I think you need to be a little open minded.Sometimes we automatically or involuntarily get into the habit of opposing whatever they say or do.Perhaps you just need to ease your nerves a little.No doubt there may be genuine occasions when you really cant agree to them.You must practice disagreeing with them politely.Then,perhaps things can work out in a more smoother fashion.
About your boyfriend,you need to think first.You know you are worried and insecure about your relationship.Now you need to think for yourself and reason out the cause of your apprehensions.Theres really no point worrying forever and not really knowing the cause of it or how to overcome it.Why do you feel he may ditch you?Were there any incidents in the past that makes you think so?Or did he say something to that effect?Just sit down and calmly analyse.If you think theres something wrong,well,you need to have a talk with him and tell him whats haunting you.Nothing can happen without talking.Do you feel you have not told him something that may disappoint him?Well,then it cant go on this way forever.Talk to him,no matter what.Thats the only way to get rid of your insecurity.Regarding the phone calls,well I guess you need to work out a different way of keeping in touch,perhpas meet more often or via e-mails.
Try to work on the above aspects.Slowly you would start feeling better and less pre-occupied.This can help you study better and concentrate on your studies which is as important as your relationships.Practice being optimistic and more brave.Suicide isnt a good solution....though!Good Luck Shreedavy!
266.
Name:CHINA
City:LAS VEGAS
Sex :Female
Age :11
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 18 2003 / 00:57:21
CHINA's Problem:
SEE I HAVE A COUPLE PROMBLEMS #1 IS I JUST MOVED TO VEGAS
A COUPLE MONTHS AGO BACK IN CALI I WAS STILL IN ELEMENTRY SCHOOL BUT
NOW I'M IN JUNER HIGH AND I'M HAVING TROUBLE DEALING WITH OUT MY FRIENDS
I MEAN WE WERE SURPOSED TO START JUNER HIGH TOGETHR. I HAVE A COUPLE
FRIENDS BUT I STILL MISS MY FRIENDS. #2 SEE I LIKE THIS GUY A LOT AND I
MEAN A LOT HE KNOWS I LIKE HIM BUT I DONT KNOW IF HE LIKES ME AND I CANT
GET THE COURAGE TO GO TALK TO HIM SO HOW DO I FIND OUT PLEASE HELP I'M
GOING INSANE HERE
Hi CHINA,
We all move to different parts of our state or outside the state and sometimes even out of our countries.Situations like these arise often and we need to move on.Well,theres nothing we can do about it(not moving out).So,we msut slowly get accustomed to our new lives and surroundings.We'd ceratinly miss our old home and people.But we need to start making new friends and look forward to life and be hopeful.Get rid of the mental block that you cant be happy now and you need the exact old surroundings and people to be happy.Start afresh.Make new friends.Talk to everyone around at school.I am sure you would soon be comfortable and happy as before.Well,if they dont talk to you,you need to talk to them.Nobody is gona be "bad" or mean.They will be your friends and you are gona really enjoy going to school.You could also keep in touch with your old friends in California.
Regarding the boy you like,well whats the hurry.Start talking to him and be friends.Dont burden yourself too much.Take it easy.Theres a lot of time and you can tell what you feel for him when you get a chance.Theres no hurry!Good Luck China!
265.
Name:Hollie
City:Welly
Sex :Female
Age :16
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 07 2003 / 09:10:07
Hollie's Problem:
i am a 16 year old and i was in a relationship on and off
for 1 year... we broke up 2 months ago.
my best friend from the time we had been going out for two months till
now flirts with him constantly and is always talking about him and
chatting him up. i told her i didnt like her doing this but she still does
.. should i give her my blessing and let her do what she wants or
should i be s***** with her!! i am lost ... its not like i go out with him
anyymore but it is still really hard
Hi Hollie,
You need to be more mature in your approach with this issue.Well,you have broken up with him.And if you think things can work out even now,try talking to him and not keep telling your friend to not do what she wants to!
And if you have no intentions of patching the relationship then all the more reason why you should not hurt your friend.Let them do what they want.You are out of it,for whatever reason.Accept the situation and move on.This is not the end of your love life.Goo d Luck!
264.
Name:Jess
City:Scotland
Sex :Female
Age :15
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 06 2003 / 19:17:01
Jess's Problem:
hey there. i'm very new to this, but i'll try not to
ramble! ok... i feel like i'm crazy. Not all of the time, just every while
i can't help collapsing with tears, not being able to stop for hours,
for no detectable reason. I feel i need to get out of my life, but i
can't even say this to my mum, which makes her mad because she can't
understand...hmm. My boyfriend, who atall over times seems perfect, dusnt
have a clue on how to handle me, and i end up hating him for the duration
of my depression. I don't no if this means i should break uip with him,
and risk heart ache, or just carry on and ignore myself. I also believe
i'm bisexual, but i have no way to discover myself and so feel like i
don't know my own self. Reply fast please, what your doing is great! I
need new people to talk to! |Thanks!
Hi Jess,
We all face situations and times when we want to break free and pack up and go on a life long holiday.And the fact that we cant do it makes the situation worse!
Jess,you need to first believe in yourself and understand that things are not out of control.Stop feeling left out and that everyone else is happier than you are.Stop feeling unlucky for any reason.Be more optimistic and practice to think good about yourself
You only need to open up a little.Talk to yourself.Talk to people.See whats worrying you.Write down on a sheet of paper.Then write down all the possible remedies or methods to solve them.Talk to your mom.Talk to someoen close.Trust him or her.Believe me your hearts gona feel much lighter.Its really painful to keep your worries to yourself and isolate yourself.We all have problems and weaknesses.You dont have to feel really bad for it.Dont worry about how they'd react...believe me 9/10 times you will get a warm response.They may not be able to find a solution,but its gona do a lot of good to yourself.Letting all the piled up emotions and worries out.It makes you feel more confident and light hearted.And when you do this dont have the fear of beign judged.Trust the person and really genuinely feel for the person.
Feel more confident.Think and narrow down all your feelings to their causes rather than constantly being worried without knowing why exactly you are feeling low!
I wish you the very best Jess!
263.
Name:Carolann
City:Tallahssee
Sex :Female
Age :13
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 05 2003 / 22:54:14
Carolann's Problem:
My boyfriend has cheating on me and lied to me from the
first day we went out. Which was about 9 months ago. I really love him
but I'm scared that he is just going to hurt me again and I don't want
to be stupid by making the same mistake twice.So please help me. What
should I do?
Hi Carolann,
Talk to him and try to clear things out.If you really think he's a liar there's no point seeing him anymore.Good Luck!
262.
Name:Sam
City:Oshkosh
Sex :Female
Age :17
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 05 2003 / 20:38:55
Sam's Problem:
O.k. I am 17 and I am dating a 37 year old black man. We
have been together for about 8 months. See at first he told me that he
was only 26 but then I found out the truth. I also found out that he
has a daughter older than I am. I think he lies to me alot, but I have no
proof. So basically what I need to know is do you think I should leave
him? If so than how? He is pretty much my whole life right now and i do
love him very much!!!!!!Help me please!!!!!!!
Hi Sam,
Well,you only need to have an open polite talk with him.Let him know all your apprehensions and fears and doubts.If you really think he's lying to you,I dont think you need to see him anymore.Good Luck!
261.
Name:Laura
City:Newcastle
Sex :Female
Age :13
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 05 2003 / 19:15:02
Laura's Problem:
my friend keeps saying do this do that pushing my chair
away from me laughing saying im ugly taking my seat im soo upset please
can you help me sort this problem out thank you
Hi Laura,
You need to remember one thing.Never do what she did to you back to her!Tell her it hurts you,make a request to her that she needs to stop doing it.Be nice to her like with anyone else too.I am sure your friend would change her attitude.
260.
Name:Amanda
City:Austin
Sex :Female
Age :13
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 04 2003 / 22:56:35
Amanda's Problem:
i just was typing thing and this is what i typed in
Problem_is: = i broke up with my boy friend and now i have a new one
but i still have feelings for the other one what should i do? but see
also my friend goes out with this guy ??????
sincerely,
confused
Hi Amanda,
Well,I dont think your really ready for a relationship.Dont mess up things just for the sake of being in a relationship and thinking that its "cool" being in a relationship.Dont come under any pressure.Take your time and decide sanely.Good Luck!
259.
Name:Mandi
City:______
Sex :Female
Age :14
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 04 2003 / 19:49:42
Mandi's Problem:
There is three of us that have been friends now for
almost a year. We will call one of them Bob and the other Billy. Ok Bob and
i have been friends for a year and 1/2 and we have alot in common, but
she takes things really seriousely and makes a big deal over stupid
things!! Billy and I are getting sick of her little prissy attitud. She
blames everything on me and Billy. We have tried to work it out before
but then a week later we have another fight!! Billy already told her that
she does not want to be her friend but i am confused, frustrated and
fed up with it. I ned your advice on if i should stop being her friend or
really try to work it out? Love Fed up
Hi Mandi,
Well,good friends come along life like cherry on a pie!Before you break up and have a big fight,etc,just give it a thought.I am sure you can work things out.Perhaps its her nature to be easily pissed off.You need to compromise a little perhaps.Its only when you forgive her and give up a little she would do it and have a more warm attitude towrds you both.There's really no use if all of you just balme each other and have a fight all the time.Perhaps you could explain things to Billy and make her understand.
Good luck to all the three of you.
258.
Name:Liana
City:Belfair
Sex :Female
Age :14
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 03 2003 / 23:37:46
Liana's Problem:
My mom just made me move from a place I had moved my
whole life. She just thought that I should be closer to family and she
didn't really like it there. The problem is that I am always unhappy here
and I dont like it. There are a lot of drugs in the school and a lot
of the people I just don't connect with because their lifestyles and
attitudes are totally different from mine. In my old home I was always
happy and was friends with like the whole school and now I dread going to
school. My grades arent affected by it its just I am always unhappy
and want to move back so bad. Please help me. Thank you.
Hi Liana,
You MUST talk to your mother about this.Talk to her about the unhealthy atmosphere around;drugs etc.And explain to her how you dont like the place here and want to get back to your old home.
257.
Name:Portia
City:Brisbane, qld, australia
Sex :Female
Age :14
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 03 2003 / 07:51:02
Portia's Problem:
i go 2 a christian school, in grade 10, and there is a
teacher there that gives me crap all the time - since the beginning of
this year. it started when she called me selfish when wanting to
participate in the class activities, and she then threw a pen at my head for
talking to a classmate. well i didnt really like her from then on, but
i had forgotten about it and didnt care anymore, but she saw me wearing
2 rings (which we r not allowed to wear) and she confiscated them. she
yelled at me for like 5 minutes in front of sum of my friends and said
that i had been rude to her all year - which i hadnt - far from it.
anyways i went to walk inside and she told me to sit outside, so i did
and i started crying. after about 20 minutes she sent someone outside to
get me and she saw i was crying so she talked for like 2 minutes the
the teacher came out and started talking to me saying she doesnt remember
doing all this stuff to me and she was sorry and i forgave her.
then i started telling her lots of stuff and we talked for another
25 mins - i felt uncomfortable after - and regretted telling her all the
stuff i told her. at morning tea she asked to see me and she gave me
bak my rings. later on in the day a friend told me when she got bak
inside the class (afta she talked to me) she was laughing. im scared of
her now, and i neva give her eye contact - im not allowed to leave her
class either. i havent told anyone except a few friends. i dont think i
can face another one of her classes... plz help me
Hi Portia,
You must understand that your teacher really doesnt have something against you and she doesnt hate you specifically.Well,she's just been a little stringent and perhaps thats all about it.You really need not fear her or feel insecure in her class.As long as you do your work right and score good and respect her,she is not going to be a problem.
Dont worry about this.Get back to her classes and be confident.Good Luck!
256.
Name:Josh Feast
City:Murray Bridge
Sex :Male
Age :17
Date/Time of Posting:Mar 03 2003 / 06:15:00
Josh's Problem:
I haven't had a girlfriend for so long and now I don't
have the first idea of I'm doing. I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 yrs
and It's irritating seeing everyone else kissing and been sooo happy all
the time. I try so hard but I keep failing. I don't know how to impress
a girl or anything anymore. I've asked 6 out in the last 6 yrs but they
keep turning me down, My father keeps saying that I'm a fagget. All I
want is some advice on how to impress and get a girlfriend. Please help.
Hi Josh,
This often happens,seeing all the people around having "fun" and you are left out.Well,I guess you need to be a little patient.If things dont work out 6 times,well thats not the end of life!That doesnt necessarily mean you wouldnt get a girlfriend or a partner.Theres no specific way to impress.Well,I would only ask you to be honest and confident.Theres no better way to impress than being yourself.You must understand that delays are not denials.Be confident and hopeful...it really makes a difference and makes you a more attractive personality.Good Luck!
255.
Name:Sukhi
City:Melbourne
Sex :Female
Age :18
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 28 2003 / 23:10:32
Sukhi's Problem:
I'm an 18 year old student and I have never had a male
friend in my live. I've been to an all girls school all my life so I have
never had the chance to meet any. I don't know where and how to talk to
and meet potential male friends. Everytime I see girls with male
freinds I feel depressed. I'm currently starting uni and am very unconfident
talking to males and meeting them for fear of rejection. Can you give
me some advice on how to overcome my problems?
Thanks
Hi Sukhi,
You just need to practice being confident.Catch yourself everytime you tell yourself something negative about yourself.Well,it might take time,but can certainly happen.Perhaps you could join some groups where you could meet a lot of guys,not necessarily running into a relationship.But,interacting with them and doing things together could help you build your confidence.Dont over work yourself and force yourself to impress them everytime.Be yourself,I am sure theres nothing more impressive than that.Good luck Sukhi!
254.
Name:Jatin
City:Palanpur
Sex :Male
Age :20
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 28 2003 / 08:49:06
Jatin's Problem:
#include
#include
#include
class ftinch
{
public:
int feet;
float inch;
public:
ftinch()
{
}
ftinch(int ff , float ii )
{
feet = ff;
inch = ii;
}
};
class meter
{
public:
float met;
public:
void getdata()
{
cout << "enter the measure in meter";
cin >> met;
}
operator ftinch()
{
int f = met * 3.54 ;
float i = ((met * 3.54)-f)*12.54;
return ftinch(f,i);
}
};
void main()
{ clrscr();
meter m1;
ftinch f1;
m1.getdata();
f1 = m1 ;
cout<<"feet = " << f1.feet<
cout<<"inch = " << f1.inch;
getch();
}
in above c++ program if i changed order of two class mean if i write
meter class before ftinch class than three error
occur ? why?
Hi Jatin,
Well,I have no idea of what youve asked me,perhaps you could contact someone who is in the computer science field.Sorry though!Anyone coming across this and knows the answer may help Jatin.Contact me.
253.
Name:Taylor Bass
City:Latta
Sex :Male
Age :10
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 27 2003 / 01:55:41
Taylor's Problem:
I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO MAKE A FRIEND LIKE YOU AS A
BOYFRIEND.AND HOW TO MAKE YOUR X GET OVER YOU
Hi Taylor,
All I can say......."Time will be the answer".Dont you hurry things.Good Luck!
252.
Name:Meme
City:Panama city
Sex :Female
Age :11
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 26 2003 / 22:37:48
Meme's Problem:
well my problem is that I got hipsa little but i wanna
know how to lose them in 2 day i didnt eat today so tell me how to lose
them faster. also i need to get in my right grade to cheer i NEED HELP
IN Math real bad pllz email me asap bye
Hi Meme,
Well to reduce your weight,you need to eat regularly and not between meals.Do regular excercise.And most importantly stop thinking of your weight all the time.Well,it doesnt make sense to not eat a whole day....you may just end up over eating the next day thinknin that you did a lot of fasting and that you need to pamper yourself a little.Things dont work this way.You need to small things regularly to get big results.
About math,you need to practice...do your homework,clear your doubts....there's no other way I know!
251.
Name:Miranda
City:Antioch
Sex :Female
Age :11
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 24 2003 / 04:46:40
Miranda's Problem:
My sister is always puting me down to the point were I'm
ready to kill myself or run away. And the only advice I get is either
talk to her or shes jealous and need need more than that. I really hope
you have the answers I need!
Miranda
Hi Miranda,
Perhaps you need to compromise a little with your sister.Do what she says once in a while and she'd be pleased.If she's unreasonably mean,yes,you got to talk to her politely and not end up in a big fight.Tell her what hurts you and be as polite as possible.Sit down and have a talk and find a mutual solution.Well,many a times she may be too furious to do all this,but you can do it after she's "cooled down".
Well,the bottom line is for you to not throw up and act furious.You certainly will get a better response from your sister!Good Luck!
250.
Name:Lindsey
City:Peoria
Sex :Female
Age :15
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 21 2003 / 02:21:00
Lindsey's Problem:
My name is Lindsey, I am having a huge problem with my
friends and my Boyfriend of 7 months. I had a best friend (rania) of 2
years move to New York and we grew apart. She just recently came back to
visit me and my best friend Brittni. It was a huge surprise and we
didn't know about it. Well I had made plans with my Boyfriend and some
other people to go out friday night but now She wants me to drop it and go
with her and some of her friends. I offered for her to come with us but
she said no. I don't want to be mean to either of them but I don't know
whether to choose my Boyfriend who I already made plans with or my
friend who jsut surprised me from NY. HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you
Lindsey
Hi Lindsey,
Well,you need to talk to your boyfriend and make him understand that your friend has come over from another city to see you and that its a rare occassion that you both get to meet.So you need to be with your friend and put off your outing with your boyfreind for another time.Be polite even if he differs with you.Well,the situation demands that you see your friend,as she's come to see you.Good Luck!
249.
Name:Gina
City:Rush Springs
Sex :Female
Age :13
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 20 2003 / 01:32:08
Gina's Problem:
I like this guy more than just a "friend",but he only
likes me as a friend. Should I tell him I like him more than a friend? Or
just keep it a serect? Please help.
Hi Gina,
Well,its wise to be friends and not jump into a relationship.Know each other better and give time a chance.Good Luck!
248.
Name:Elainna
City:New Plymouth
Sex :Female
Age :16
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 19 2003 / 19:56:28
Elainna's Problem:
my sister is married to this dude paul. he has a really
sexy 1/2 brother. it was ny nephews 1st birthday and i went to marbells
for the party and me and chris(pauls bro) spent all night talking.
at the time he was going out with this chick called lee-anne.
about three weeks later i went to stay out at my sisters and chris was
there.
we got really wasted and slept next to each other. the next night he
said that he thought i was beautifull and wanted to hold me . we ended up
making love.
we started going out 3 days later and we moved in together.
it lasted for 2 weeks untill his ex lee-anne said that if he ever
wanted to see his son again then me and chris couldn't be together so we
broke up.
we keep in contact and still continued to have sex, even though he had
another girl friend, he said he loved me.
then on valentimes day he asked me back out, said he missed me and
loved me and wanted us to live together.
i really do love him so i said yes.
a week later i find out hes lying to me about everything. he was
sleeping with lee-anne at the same time as going out with me and he didn't
break up with his other g/f carly like he said he did. plus he was only
using me for sex.
the problem is why did he do this to me?
i feel as if my whole world is crashing down around me and i cant do
anything to stop it.
i feel as if im in a crowded rood screaming at the top of my lungs but
no one can hear me.
i feel so hurt and betrayed, and i feel guilty, i must have done
something to push him away.
the worst thing is i miss him soo much that i cant eat or sleep.
its been a week now and i miss him more than ever and i love him so
much and dont know what to do because i live with my sister and bro in law
and chris is around here a lot.
please write bac a.s.a.p
thatnk you
elainna
Hi Elainna,
Things can get emotionally twisted and leave us confused.Well,if he is not faithful and serious about you,I dont think you still need to feel for him.Well,it would take time though,but I dont think you still need to see him.Get over him.Stop feeling he used you or you were tricked or something.See what you've learned from the experience.Never jump into sex before even you know what is happening between the two of you.I would mean sex isnt everything.And you need to be slow.Perhaps the next time you can be more cautious and slow in choosing your partner.Get to know more about each other and see if things can click between you and that person.
Well,this episode need not mean the end of your world!You need to be brave and patient and calm.You would certainly come across someone who is more understanding and with whom you can live your life.This is not the end.All the best!
247.
Name:Ashley
City:Debary
Sex :Female
Age :14
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 19 2003 / 03:29:23
Ashley's Problem:
my problem is very long so please take your time. ok me
and my b/f jacolby or lets say j have been going out for 6 months we
have been great except he has a very big jealousy problem. before we went
out i told him that i had a lot of ''GUY FRIENDS'' and he said that he
was alright with that. well a few months later which is now he keeps on
telling me that i like my guy friends and telling me to go out with
them. and a few days ago we went to an all night skate and we were having
a great time till i asked him to go get my backpack in the back which i
followed him and when i was walking one of my guy friends came and
picked me up this got him very upset which he got my b/p and hit my friend
with it after that happened he didnt talk to me so i told my friend to
go ask what was wrong and she said that he didnt want to go out with me
any more of course i started crying my eyes out and my friend came over
and told me to go dance with j or hes going to dance with this
other girl and if i didnt dance with him she said then i didnt care
sbout what happened well... i didnt dance with him b/c i saw him holding
hands with this other girl anywayz i started crying agian and j told
one of my guy friends to go see what was wrong well j came back and we
sat down together and he said sorry for breaking up with me that he
really didnt mean to say that. he just said that b/c he needed time to think
to himself. we both love each other very much and it would kill me to
break up with him i just dont get why he told my friend to break up with
me when he came back and said sorry he just needed time to think "
what think while dancing with another girl"?!?
Hi Ashley,
Theres absolutely no problem having other "guy friends"!Well,events like this would occur almost everyday.And you cant afford to have a break-up and patch-up everyday.
So what you need to do is talk to him and get things sorted out.Theres no point seeing each other's actions and cribbing about it everyday.Believe me,a good talking will set things right.He just needs some more assurane from you..well,perhaps thats his nature and it can only be slowly changed.So Ashley,if you are serious aout this..perhaps you need tot alk to him.In the end you need to ask yourself if he would be sane enough to understand you.Dont come under the pressure of "I must have a boy friend" ,theres no hurry!Good Luck!
246
Name:Faith
City:Dallas
Sex :Female
Age :10
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 17 2003 / 23:18:01
Faith's Problem:
A few boys in my class are really mean to me. They can
always find away to hurt my feelings. Everyone tells me to ignore them
and they'll go away. But I've tried that and it dosen't work.I've tried
asking them tstop but they won't. What should I do?
Hi Faith
All you need to do is just ignore them.If theres a chance to be good to them,be good.What I mean is just leave them alone and they'd get bored.What really drives them on is your reaction!And when they dont get one,they'd eventually stop bugging you.You need to be careful here...dont isolate yourself from your class in the process!Be normal and have fun!Make up your mind to not be affected by what they do or say.As a last resort,if things get too unbearable,take the help of your teacher,but you dont have to tell on them!Good Luck!
245.
Name:Irene Banuelos
City:HOUSTON
Sex :Female
Age :20
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 17 2003 / 19:51:05
Irene's Problem:
I CANT FIND AWAY TO EXPRESS MYSELF. MY PARENTS ARE
GETTING A DIVORCE. BECAUSE MY FATHER CHEATED ON MY MOTHER . MY MOTHER IS
TOTALLY HURT. OF COURSE THE WOMEN THAT MY FATHER IS WITH IS NO GOOD FOR
HIM. SHE IS A LAIR SHE CHEATS AND SHE IS A DRUG ABUSER AND MY FATHER
DOESNT SEE THAT. IF MY PARENTS SPILT UP. MY MOTHER GETS EVERYTHING. AND MY
FATHER HAS NOTHING. I KNOW ITS WRONG WHAT MY FATHER DID, AND I HAVENT
TALKED TO HIM FOR MONTHS ITS HURTING ME INSIDE AND IM IN A DEEP STAGE OF
DEPRESSION. I DONT KNOW WHERE TO TURN. IM AFRAID THAT MY FATHER WILL BE
LAYED ON THE STREETS.
MOST OF MY FAMILY SAYS THAT ITS RIGHT FOR HIM TO BE TREATED THAT WAY
CAUSE OF THE PAIN HE GAVE MY MOTHER. I KNOW THEY ARE GOING TO GET A
DIVORCE. FOR SURE. I JUST DONT WANT MY FATHER TO BE WITH THAT LADY. IM
SCARED OF THE FACT THAT HIS LIFE IS GOING TO BECOME A DISASTER. WE ARE VERY
SHORT IN MONEY AND MY FATHER HAS PLACED USE IN HOLE. $10,000. I HAD TO
WORK 72HRS A WEEK JUST TO PAY OFF MY SCHOOL AND MY CAR. I REALLY WANT
TO BECOME A PHARMACIST BUT KNOW WITH THAT HAPPING IM AFRAID . I HAVE TO
BE WORKING FOR MY MOTHER. IM SO CONFUSED , AND HURT. PLEASE HELP ME
Hi Irene,
All of us face life with enormous number of hurdles,problems and exceptional situations.Times like these demand a special degree of optimism and courage.And you need to gear up to the occasion from within yourself.Have faith in yourself.You need to take time,stop and talk to yourself!
First of all talk to your dad,try your best to get to him somehow and have a talk with him.Well,people may feel he deserves nothing,but yes as a daughter you would have your feelings for him.Talk to him and see if you can put this divorce off a little later.Ask him to take more time.Regarding the other woman in his life,well talking against her might just irritate him and spoil your relation with him.All you need to tell him is to take more time.And perhaps he may find sense in your mom during the time.After all you know decisions like these cant be hastily made and so just hope...time is the healer.PErhaps you could talk the same way with your mom.
As far as your carrer dreams are concerned,never give up!Good Luck!
244.
Name:Arthi
City:Bangalore
Sex :Female
Age :20
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 17 2003 / 18:25:25
Arthi's Problem:
i was going through severe problems in my life,everywhere
in my education,friends,health and i had no mental peace at all,this
happened last year exactly,,at that time my friends left me,and i was
going through a mental tension,i had no confidence at all,i did not talk
to any one because i was getting tensed looking at people,could not make
eye contact,had constant head-ache and pressures and was exhausted,at
that time one person humiliated me,i was standing in the seminar-hall in
my college with my class-mates,i was feeling nervous and like fainting
and one professor insulted,she said" if any one is feeling like
collapsing,like in a dream please do something about it so that you can be
confident and others also around you can be confident,and one girl was
feeling tensed because i was tensed and went and sat somewhere else to be
away from me,"after that that professor was making fun of me,it was a
terrible experience for me,very humiating,maybe they were angry
with me for something but that was public humiliation and i feel soo
bad,i hope you understand it.now iam feeling much better not very
nervous as before but i still feel conscious when im talking to
people,esspecially strangers,sometimes when im extremely tensed i feel like
fainting,very giddy.is it a serious disease?right now i dont have anyone in my
life,my mother is very childish,she cant advise me,my cousin who im
close to is in canada,my other friends r married,i feel soo tensed at
times when i think of all those humiliations which i went through in my
college last year,they said a lot of other things and also used to make me
sit purposely in the front during exams because i get tensed and
conscious,i feel like taking revenge on them because i feel that what they
did is not right,im full of anger and i get more and more tensed thinking
of all that esspecially as my mother itself gives me tension by forcing
me to do things,they treat me like a kid,can u tell me what to
do?is not my anger justified?do i have any serious disorder?right now
i passed out from there but go for week-end classes in fine-arts.i
still feel tensed with around people,when im feeling depressed or angry.i
dont have anyone who can help,will meditation be help-ful?should i see a
counsellor?i hope to hear from you soon.thanking you,arthi.
Hi Arthi,
Well,you can have me for your friend,across the miles!I am happy you found me worthy of sharing your feelings with.
Arthi,relax!
First of all Aarthi,you need to practice how not to think that the whole world is against you,if at all you think so in any scale.
I hope you got that.Catch yourself everytime you do that.Ok?
Next,stop thinking of past bitterness and humiliation.STOP...I mean just STOP!Never think of anything that makes you feel underconfident.Well,it may sound like escapism but it actually is not.What I mean by this is try to look at the past from a different perspective and give it a positive meaning.
From now on you need to make up your mind to be optimistic and positive.Believe me initially it is an effort that you need to make and its not going to come to you straight away.You need to practice being confident and positive.And over a period of time you would gradually learn how to deal with issues that hurt your morale.
Now think...take a sheet of paper and just write down all the characteristics that you like about yourself and your strong points and then make a list of things that you think are your weakness and things that you dont like about yourself.See if you can match your strengths and weaknesses in a manner that you can channelise your attempts and energies towards winning your weaknesses.Theres one thing for sure...even the most successful person that you might have seen has weaknesses and faults.
Well,for you it may be shyness,for somebody else it may be something else.You need to stop isolating yourself in a manner which tells you.."I am the most unlucky person"...or something to that.As I said,practice optimism(sometimes it takes an effort,yes!).Believe in yourself no matter what its going to take.Learn to get over the fear of being judged.Understand that we all make mistakes.Be more leniant with yourself and give yourself a chance to mess up.Build things gradually and believe in yourself.
Aarthi,you could read books that boost your morale.Some good authors may be Richard Carlson,Gary Zukav,Robert Schuller,..etc.And about talking to people and feeling uncomfortable about it,well its all in the mind.Understand that they are not judging you in anyway,dont have any fear.Again you need to practice this and make a conscious effort.Let it happen gradually,theres no problem.You could join a personality development course if you find time,theres no harm.Certainly,meditation would do good!
Most of things that I have said requires you to make a conscious effort and you cant just practice things for a day or a week and say things dont seem to be working.Make it your way of life and be patient.Be optimistic in your approach,be a positive person.My best wishes!
243.
Name:Cynical
City:Nowheresville
Sex :Female
Age :20
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 16 2003 / 23:15:27
Cynical's Problem:
After many years of cluelessness, I feel like I’d like to
be involved in a doing type of exercise, a hands-on thing, not a
tediously cerebral exercise. I don’t want to bother with something I have to
study the dickens out of, get tested on, or make a science out of.
At one point I thought I’d like to be an artist. But slinging paint
contemporary-style wasn’t as fun as I thought it’d be and I don’t have
the energy or patience for fine art. Then I thought being a novelist or
freelance writer would be cool. So I took a writing course and found
out that I couldn’t write fiction to save my life nor would I ever be a
William Zinsser, an H.L. Mencken, or a James Herndon. I have a Hunter
Thompson mouth with a Casper Milktoast ass. So I found out I’d starve
freelancing because I don’t have any interest in researching the crap
out of a thing and don’t want some teacher or editor to change the words
that embody my style. I put my words the way I want to put them for a
reason, for Christ’s sake.
I’ve always wanted to create and maintain an interactive web site and
that certainly fits the doing category. So off and on over these
clueless years I piddled with and finally arrived at a theme, content and
format complete with pictures. But after an extremely tedious process of
securing free web space, learning how to create a site, uploading my
images, and tweaking the site just the way I wanted it, the creeps at
TopCities deleted my account. It was just a kooky, artsy, fun site.
There was no porn, no vulgar, anti-patriotic or threatening language or
anything evil for crying out loud. And even though I sent them an
irritated e-mail asking them why they dissed me, I don’t expect an answer
because their terms of use agreement states they don’t have to tell God
why, let alone the likes of me. Now what message am I to get from all
this?
Since I’m a glass-is-half-empty kind of person, I’m getting the message
that I should jam my crayons back in the stupid box they came in, go
home, and sulk forever while I eke out a living at the same job I’ve been
doing for too long already. I’ve always had an interest in psychology
but after two years of college studying architecture, my original
feeling about school and how much it sucks doesn’t leave me thirsty for
more. I have no burning passion to do anything really, and the one thing I
did have a modicum of passion for, the web site, got brick-walled so
many times before the final steel wall came down in my face. I feel like
I want to do something but maybe I really don’t want to do anything.
Maybe it’s old you-gotta-be-a-star-at-something childhood conditioning
residue that’s mucking up my true programming. What the heck??? is what
I wanna know...
Hi Cynical,
Quite a bit of irritation!Well,to ease the problem a bit I would first say that there are a lot of people around having similar experiences like yours.Believe me your not alone,and stop feeling left out.In the end the people who make a difference are the ones who overcome this stage and soon they'd walk out in style from all the "wrath".Never give up your dreams!
And yes theres absolutely no problem.It does take time and experience to even know what you yourself like.And trust me its worth those attempts.You dont have to feel empty after trying out those many things.After all your gona be good at something only if you like and enjoy what your doing,and life is certainly worth the experimentation!
And all I can see in you is enormous energy and you are a person who likes excitement and variety!YOu are a person who'd give your full if you like what your doing.You certainly have what it takes to live your dreams out!
You perhaps may be a little impatient about things happening the way they are.And if I think you need to build up on something its a little bit of more patience and a little more push with whatever you do.
Well,all those fine arts course,novel writing etc, may not have taken off.But look at the positive side.Atleast you know what you dont want to do!That itself is something great.But you need to be a little careful too.The next time you think you wana do something,you could perhaps know more about the field and do some homework,and then take a concrete step in that direction.That way you cold save some time and money.I mean some fields you really cant do this.Any day never hesitate to experiment.
Well,by now you are certainly in a better position to tell yourself what kind of work you like to do.So those exercises where not futile.You dont need to feel lost or feel youve not been doing anything!
So, you seem to be interested in website building...and even like it more than anything else youve done before.I would say go ahead and pursue this if your passionate about it.Well,TopCities removing your siteis no big deal.Perhaps they are not good at their service.Its not the problem with your site!OR...just forget the thing with Top Cities.So why on earth should you give up something that you like?Go ahead and get your space at some other host.I'd recommend angelfire.com.They are smooth,fast and perhaps the best hosting people around.As you can see,even my site is hosted by angelfire.com!Over a period of time when you can afford,you can even buy your own domain!The prices are dropping all the time!You could build websites for small concerns who want a site but cant afford the big people to make one.You could charge them a little less or something!You could make web page graphics using softwares.You could come up with an idea of selling some service through your site.There are a lot of options!Money may flow in slowly,but be determined and patient.
In the end I'd say,do what you like.Be more determined and dont give up on small hurdles that are bound to come in one's way to success..no matter which field!Things may not have clicked in the past but that doesnt mean or indicate in anyway that you cant be succesful!Those were the stepping stones to success.
I can see that your not a person who'd settle for anything less than the best!Run after your passion..hope to see your site soon!Best o f Luck!
242.
Name:Emily
City:Las Crusas
Sex :Female
Age :17
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 15 2003 / 18:01:41
Emily's Problem:
I'm a old fashion girl. I believe in faith a little too
much .I'm not like all the other girls .I'm very reserve and quite. I
know I'm not the prettiest either, but the one quality that I do have is
my inner beauty. I've never had a boyfriend because I feel that things
should be right first and that I really like that person. Unlike some.
I feel if a guy really likes you so much ,that he won't be afraid to
approach you. But I think a lot of guys are intimated by me because I
know what I want in life, and I have strong morals. And sometimes I can
shut people out.
I would have to say fear is my number one enemy. It is what stops me
from being truly happy. Fear of rejection, showing who I am ,and
change. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough. Well anyways back to my
main concern. There's this guy that I'm infatuated by at school. See the
thing that's stopping me is ,I don't feel good enough for him, There
something special about him. He's very athletic ,intelligent and sweet.
The only thing is that he's younger then I am ,he's family is very
refine and his friends. I really like him a lot .I think he feels the same
away about me ,But I think he's he afraid to approach me. I' don't know
what to do. I know this sounds like I should just talk to him, simple
like that no. That's what everyone tells me. I don't know how though,
what to say, or what I do after. I really want to get to know him as a
friend first. Could you please give me some good advice to approach this
situation? Thank you very much I would surely appreciate it.
Emily
Hi Emily,
You stated your problem and in the process come out with the solution too!Yes,you are on the right track.Get to know him well.Be good friends...and really know each other well.Theres no hurry to declare the "relationship".Be more confident and let things happen.Be patient!Dont come under pressure from friends.Think calm and take your time.Good Luck!
241.
Name:Tyler Burton
City:Cookeville
Sex :Male
Age :13
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 15 2003 / 15:19:07
Tyler's Problem:
I am trying to get a girlfriend ,but I don't know how to
do it when my best friend jujst got to her.
Hi Tyler,
Well,theres nothing better than being yourself,honest,frank and warm,if at all something is to be done to impress her.Now that your friend likes her too,better luck next time.
240.
Name:Emma
City:Chesterfield
Sex :Female
Age :12
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 13 2003 / 22:13:57
Emma's Problem:
my friend lily is cool and all when she wants to be. the
problem is that she dosent think that i have feelings she thinks i am
her pet. but i really like her sometimes. i tried to brek it with her
and i was doin great with my friends but she made me feel so bad! so we
became friends again but once agian i hate being best buds with her i DK
what 2 do. please help
Hi Emma,
Well,from what you've written I dont see any real big reason for you to not be good friends again.As you get used to her,you would learn to forgive her.When she really hurts you,you need to tell her and express your feelings.Things would be fine.Good Luck!
239.
Name:zuMMi
City:-
Sex :Male
Age :12
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 12 2003 / 13:00:03
zuMMi's Problem:
Hi... I know, I am only 12 but this problem is driving me
crazy... Every night I cry cry cry, but couldnt find any solution...
here's my problem:
I dont have much friends, I am shy, I am NOT shy at all too sometimes!
Well, it makes me sick to think that... I have more guy friends than
girls. I just dunno... I have a bunch of friends as guys, they are JUST
my friends and can that be a problem??!? No, Well, but for my parents:
IT IS. I cant figure out why-- they seem *not* to understand me... Its
like, they forgot all about me, forgot that I am their kid. I dont know,
I really miss them now... Me and my younger sister (3) are the only
kids in the family, so what?! I HATE my life, sometimes I wish I could
kill myself though I havent admitted it to anyone. I dont have a nice
bestfriend who will understand me except someone whom I am uncomfortable to
spill thoughts with... Its like, I am the only fella, I hate my life, I
hate me... It makes me SICK to think that I dont know myself anymore. I
am not the kid I used to be, except Ive changed a LOT since then. For
advice, I search the net and get advice on the internet, no one
is in real life there for me, on my side... Is it MY problem OR
THEIRS? Please help me out! Any advice is greatly appreciated... Thank u.
Hi zuMMi,
There may be lonely times in life.We all face this.To have a friend who is understanding and of your kind is not a difficult thing.Perhaps its a qustion of time.Stop worrying.Indulge in sports and other funfilled activities.Read books.Well,you may be frank and open with atleast one of your friends.It does a lot of good.It makes you feel a lot better.If you think no one is close enough,well find he best one among the available.See if he can be your best friend and try to know more about each other.I am sure it will make you feel better.Talk to your parents frankly if you have any problems outside home.They would never judge you and would help you out no matter what!Good Luck Zummi!
238.
Name:Jo Jo
City:NY
Sex :Female
Age :14
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 10 2003 / 03:13:03
Jo Jo's Problem:
Ok, I know this sounds extreamly stupid, but I really
cant help it! My
school is very small and everyone in both 8th grades knows each other.
You see my problem is I really like this guy in my class but I'v only
just
noticed him now. We have a few months left in this school and then were
all going to off to different schools again; and he doesnt live near
me.
Also I'm not sure he even notices me. He's not popular or anything but,
he usually
only talks to the general public and his friends. I am really attracted
to him, but I find this hard to belive since i never liked anyone in
the class before, or anyone I thought didnt know I existed.(Also I
think
he might like one of my friends who shares the same feelings). Please
help me theres a dinner dance everyone
has to go to coming up soon!
Hi Jo Jo,
Well,theres no harm just going and talking to him casualy.Its not that you need to burst in front of him with your feelings the very first instance.Take it easy.Be confident and dont have any fear of being judged.Perhaps you could find a common friend or something.And if you dont have a common friend,nevermind...just talk,be normal!Good Luck!
237.
Name:Carry
City:Columbus
Sex :Female
Age :13
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 04 2003 / 22:22:33
Carry's Problem:
well this girl that is supposed to be my best friend
stopped tlking to me and i asked wy she won't talk to me and she didn't say
anything and she talks trash behind my back and says she is mad at me
because i am sensitive. what should i do?
Hi Carry,
The only thing you need to do is try and recollect and see if you hurt her in anyway.Think beyond the obvious and see if you can figure out aything.If you do,dont try to justify things.Just appologise,if you think you wre wrong.Well,even if you dont think you were wrong but you think that might have hurt her,you need to talk to her regarding the matter.
And if you cant figure out why she's not talking to you,you need to talk to her and find out what really hurt her.She may be angry or whatever,but you need to try and talk to her and appologise or sort out the issue.Good Luck!
236.
Name:Justin
City:Not Available
Sex :Male
Age :18
Date/Time of Posting:Feb 02 2003 / 04:06:56
Justin's Problem:
I have a problem with my mom. Here's the background...
I've lived with my dad ever since I was six. Last year I found
out that my dad and my grandmother were spreading terrible rumors about
me. My own father and grandmother!!! I left my dad's house and moved in
with my mom and stepdad. I have not spoken to my dad's family since I
left. I've hated my stepdad ever since he and my mother married and she
knew this. She told him to leave and he did. My mother and I finally
won in court against my father and grandmother, and I thought everything
would be great. But now...
Okay that's the background to my problem. My mother is now having my
stepdad over three nights a week to do "the do". I've told her how much
it hurts to have him here, but she just says that she has to have him. I
am at my wits end and am extremely stressed out. This is my last year
of high school and I am trying to keep my 4.1 GPA. I am taking college
courses at a community college near by. I also volunteer at the
elementary school to help the special kids. I leave for a major college this
fall. Everything that's going on right now is just about to break me. How
should I tell my mother how i feel about her having my stepdad over and
attain a better relationship with her? Remember that I have already
told her once before and it did no good. Please Help Me!!!
Hi Justin,
Well,its just a little while.And then you are going to be off to college.I'd suggest you concentrate on your studies and make up your mind to not get distracted by your stepdad issue.After all its your mom's choice,and you cant do much about it.If you get into this you are going to only waste your time and mental faculties thinkning of things.Well,you neednt be indifferent with your mom.Just be normal,bear a little more and be happy with her.Good Luck!
235.
Name:Michelle
City:_____,South Africa
Sex :Female
Age :16
Date/Time of Posting:Jan 26 2003 / 02:21:02
Michelle's Problem:
This may take a while...i like the boy next door(arland
19)
he is a differnt race and iv known him for 2years, we dont have a
relationship, but we have kissed twice before tonite.My parents left this
morning to go visit a relative far away, and i was left with my older
sister to look after me.Later this evening at about 12am arland and i
arranged to meet...and so we did, we kissed and got a bit too intimate,but
at about 1:45am my sister came looking for me..arland,(hid)kept
quiet,my sister didnt c him and when i left he went home...so i confronted my
sister, she asked what iwas doin and i made up some lame excuse, and
now she is suspicious! she is going to tellmy family...im am doomed, they
are all racist,and in a way i resent my own race because of them.but
now i am going to be kicked out of the house, unless i persuade my sister
not to tell my parents,i have already disapointed my dad with my school
subject choices,and that i want to become jewish,not christian,and he
said that i hav chosen a path in life with no meaning or future .
i dont know what to do or become!im scared,I told arland not to worry
every thing was sorted and that nothing willl hapen in my family and
that they wont know(so that he didnt hav to worry) and that we should
stop seeing each other except as friends.I have thought about runing away
though but that wont help,or suicide bcoz there is still much to
learn.I just feel empty now,and disapointed in myself.
I know u wont b able to answer in time, but thank you for ur help.Your
a good person.
Hi Michelle,
Well,times like this would be a little smooth sailing if youtake s omeone in your family into confidence.Perhaps your sister would be a the best choice.See if you can tell her the truth and take her help.But this is to be solely decided by you,because you would know your sister best.Is she a person who would keep it to herself or make a big issue out of what you say and let the matter reach the whole world!
If you cant tell your sister the matter,you perhaps need to wait till your a little older and if you still are serious about the relationship am sure you are going to be in a better position to take your stand and convinve your famiGood Luck!!!
234.
Name:Digna Gomez
City:New York
Sex :Female
Age :20
Date/Time of Posting:Jan 06 2003 / 19:53:13
Digna's Problem:
Hello Vijai,
Ok this is my probelm, I have no High School Education, I just enrolled
into a Associate Degree Program, which enables you to earn your high
school diploma as well an associate degree at the same time. I enrolled
in a school called Menroe College, which is located in Bronx, NY, East
Fordham. Now, I want to be a Nurse Anesthesia or a Mortician But i dont
know how to go about full filling my goal. See I am aware that you need
great schooling as well as my dedication to accomplish this..But Vijai,
im ready to do all the hard work that is necessary for me to accomplish
what i want. Is just i do not know where to start or what should I do.
See I enrolled in Monroe College without knowing if this is necessary,
or if I could have applied some where else and not waste my time in
health care technology. I did this because this was the only program that
i knew who were offering me a high school diploma and an associate
degree at the same time. Please HELP ME! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO? Thanks,Digna..
Hi Digna,
Hi Digna,
You had posted a problem regarding your carrer on my site.
Well the usual practice is for me to put up the solution on the site,but due to technical reasons am mailing the solution!
Solution:
I would say you are in the right track.You are getting a high school diploma too..so thats good!You dont have to repent about the choice you've made about Monroe College!Feel good and confident Digna!At the moment you could talk to senior students and other teachers/professors in your college and get well-informed about future openings.Try to find out the best option for you.Well,having an aim in life is very important,while its all the more important to have a relevent aim.You are in the diploma level and so you need to choose your carrer accordingly.This is what I mean by relevent aim.It is something like I am doing Mechanical Engineering now and it would be irrelevent for me to opt for a carrer in an Electronics field!(in a general sense).So what you need to do is to be the best in your field and ecxel in that.Ofcourse you can find out if you could pursue nursing but if there are no options as per you teachers etc.,well theres nothing to be disheartened!So in short,I would suggest you to talk to people and become better informed about your course and its opportunities in terms of further specialization or workwise.I wish you a bright future and a prosperous and satisfying carreer.Feel free to correspond.
233.
Name:Meera
City:Mumbai
Sex :Female
Age :20
Date/Time of Posting: Dec 15 2002 / 16:30:08
Meera's Problem:
sir,
i am very pocessive about my friends and i know this isn't really
good, they have their own freedom. Usually when such a problem comes up i
try distancing myself from the people involved, i have spoilt some close
relations due to this, but when the people involved are too precious to
get away from , people i don't want to loose, what am i to do.With them
these feelings becomes all the more difficult to overcome and intense .
help me overcome this problem, i hope you understand how much it pains.
meera
Hi Meera,
Being possessive about your friends is acceptable to a certain limit,and after that when it gets in the way of their freedom it gets very irritating for them.Well,you yourself have said it and you know it!
First of all you need to work on this by understandng that your friends are going to remain your friends and you dont need to keep fearing the fact.They would be yours.Why should you have any doubt about that?As long as you remain a good and honest friend and care enough to keep things smooth,they are not going to run away from you.Perhaps you need to relize this and ease your nerves a little.Have more faith in your relationships.Well,all this cannot happen overnight.It needs time.What you need to do is to work on it on a regular basis.Perhaps,every opportunity for you to display your new trait of not being over possesive,you need to strike at it.Be more confident about yourself and your relationships.Perhaps you can even ask one or two of your close friends as to what annoys them about you and also the qualities they like about you.This can help you and ease your problem.
