“He looks so lost,” Ivy whispered, shaking her head as she held onto Julian. Her blue eyes watched Luis sympathetically, tears occasionally rolling down her cheeks. She might not have been closer to her sister in law before, but she had hopes of finally bonding with the young woman now that their lives had settled down. “Oh Julian, isn’t there anything to be done?”

“It happened too fast,” her husband whispered, removing a handkerchief from his pocket and giving it to his beloved wife. “If I had known sooner I could have had the finest physicians here. No one knew,” he hugged Ivy close, wishing for once he hadn’t decided to go sober. The blessed relief of the alcohol would have been welcoming now. “I’m sure Sheridan will be fine. She’s a strong woman,” he swallowed hard, thinking of his mother who had once been strong as well. Could it be that the females of the family were too fragile for child rearing or had his mother simply been too old to have another child and paid for it with her life? He only hoped the latter was the answer, because the former wasn’t good news for his brother-in-law.

“Aunt Sheridan is a fighter,” Ethan looked out the window at the rain, remembering times his Aunt had said the rain felt like a blessing to the earth. “And I’m sure the girls are too,” he looked at his wife and smiled, offering comfort. “Has anyone called Gwen to tell her? Beth? They have a right to know, Aunt Sher was close to them both.”

“I’ve called Beth,” Theresa replied quietly, looking again at her brother to be sure he wasn’t listening. “She said she would come as soon as she could, she had to get someone to run the Café. Misty said she would swing by to get Colin as soon as Ashley was out of her Girl Scout meeting, but that’s not over for a while.”

Luis stood up, shooting the group of them a look before walking into the hallway and starting to pace. Their voices were starting to eat at him and he couldn’t bare to listen to the panicked, hushed voices that filled the room. This wasn’t how this day was supposed to go! Sheridan was supposed to go into labor and throw things at him and swear he would never touch her again! She was supposed to scream and curse and make him laugh at all her antics and then they would be holding the two most beautiful babies on the face of the planet, their two daughters that looked just like Sheridan. Now he could lose all three, both his beautiful little girls so tiny and fragile and his wife the woman that held his heart in her hands. How would he go on without them?

Vaguely he remembered stories of Katherine Crane, the beautiful and vivacious mother of Julian and Sheridan. The woman had been so weak after her child rearing that she had never returned to her former status of health. Of course, medical practices had come a long way since Sheridan birth in the seventies, but he still worried that somewhere Sheridan’s family had a genetic coding that made childbirth nearly impossible for them to survive. He shook his head; now was not the time to think so negatively about his wife. She would survive…she had to.

Luis heard the soft squeaks of sneakers before he could smell the sweet floral perfume and lifted his sad brown eyes from the ground upward. Beth arrived, the most beautiful bouquet of roses in her hand for Sheridan and a sympathetic smile on her face. He wasn’t sure he could deal with this just now, not when he hadn’t dealt with his old feelings for her to begin with and especially not when he and Sheridan hadn’t talked about it. His instinct was to leave the scene, but there was nowhere for him to go so he remained just where he had stopped his pacing.

“How is she?” Beth asked, concerned about the woman she still saw as a best friend. It didn’t matter if Sheridan was angry with her for some reason; Beth Wallace knew that deep down inside they would still be friends again. “I heard about the c-section but Theresa never called with more news. I was getting worried and came as soon as someone arrive to cover the store.”

Luis closed his eyes, a tear rolling down his rough cheek. Sighing, he opened his eyes and looked at the woman that had been his high school love and best friend for so long. “She started hemorrhaging awhile ago, the doctor hasn’t come out of the room yet. I’ve been waiting to hear about the girls…”

“Girls? Did you know they would be girls?” Beth asked, thinking about the two darlings that must be in NICU.

He nodded. “I want to see them! I want to see her! Beth, I don’t know what I’ll do if they…”

“Sheridan’s survived so much worse, Luis. She’s an amazing woman and I think we both know that she will pull through,” she smiled, chuckling slightly. “She’s a cat with more than nine lives; I’m sure she’ll outlive us all.”

Luis smirked. “She does have an amazing way of coming back when you least expect it. She’s so strong…so in control. Seeing her today frightened me; it made me realize she’s not superhuman.”

Beth was about to agree when a nurse came over to them, her cheerful smile and bright colored clothing making it obvious that she was from the pediatrics wing. Pushing some flaming pink hair back behind her ears, she stopped in front of Luis. “Mr. LoFitz?”

“Yes?” Luis asked, trying to see her real eye color beneath the American flag contacts. Did all the freaks relocate to Harmony recently or was this a fad he hadn’t heard about?

“Nurse Joy!” she shook his hand. “I’ve been sent to tell you that Dr. Russell has administered the lung development drug, which will help the girls breath on their own and that they are finally ready to see their Daddy. If you’d like to come with me, I can take you to them.”

“Please!” Luis nodded, hugging Beth for a second. “Thank you for being here. I appreciate it, really. I couldn’t possibly tell you how much.”

“That’s what friends are for, Luis. Now go, I’ll tell everyone where you went.”

“Thank you,” he replied, jogging after nurse Joy.

Beth watched him go. “Please God, don’t take Sheridan or the girls from him. I don’t think Luis can make it through losing another person he loves, especially not Sheridan. He’s had so much pain for far too long, just let him have one ray of sunshine, just once,” she ducked inside the waiting room as Luis headed off to see his girls.

Nurse Joy led Luis to the NICU wing of the nursery, which was two doors down from the regular nursery with a special double pane, darkly tinted window for family members that weren’t allowed in. Between the nursery and the NICU, there was a pressurized, sterile changing room. Before entering the room, nurse Joy handed Luis a care package. Leading him inside, she showed him how to scrub down, using the foot press and the motion detector dryer to change without touching things; the process took five minutes to complete and anything less was considered unacceptable. A wave of her hand and a sliding glass door opened, allowing them to step into the neo-natal unit where only the Lopez-Fitzgerald twins lay. In the first two Katelyn and Kathryn, his little angels. Tears sprang to his eyes to see how small they both were; his first instinct was to pull them both into his arms and protect them from anyone and anything that could possibly hurt them. Moving closer, he noticed that they were both dressed in pink with tubes running into their bodies. He wanted to scream, to yell, to cry…but all he could to was gently place his hand against the cool plastic of the layette. On either side were two holes that a hand could fit through and beside each bed a rocking chair.

“If you wish to put your hands through there you can touch them. NICU babies love to be touched,” Joy told him, looking over little Katie and Kathy. “You can also hold them, don’t be afraid if an alarm goes off, it just means that one of the monitors shook looks as you lifted them.”

“You mean, I can hold them right now?” he asked wide eyed, eyeing their tiny bodies. They seemed smaller than some of the rag dolls Pilar had made Theresa over the years when they had no money. He wasn’t so sure he could pick them up without breaking them. “Won’t I hurt them?”

She shook her head. “You’ll get used to it, Mr. Lopez-Fitzgerald, trust me. The girls will know you’re their Daddy almost immediately and you’ll find it near impossible not to hold them in your arms every moment of every day. NICU babies are addictive. You want to love them more every minute so they can grow bigger quickly.”

Luis didn’t look so sure about holding them and instead changed the subject to their health. “Do you know what their weights are?” he asked. “Have they been given names?”

“I do have their weights,” she pointed to the charts. “Baby A weighs three pounds, one ounce and Baby B weighs two pounds, ten ounces. Would you like to give them names or should we wait until your wife is out of surgery?”

Luis thought it over for a moment, deciding it would be best to name the children since they had decided on names previously. “Baby A is Katelyn Rose,” he smiled at the tiny baby to his left. “And Baby B is Kathryn Pilar. Would you like me to spell them for you? Sheridan didn’t want the traditional spellings.”

The nurse nodded and Luis quickly spelled the names for her so she could fill in the charts. He looked back at the clear plastic cases that protected his daughters and sighed. More than anything in the world he wanted to hold them, but he was so afraid of hurting them that he wasn’t sure he could do it. Moving a seat closer to them, he reached one hand into Kathryn’s incubator and touched her back with his fingers. The nurse smiled slightly, understand his tension and reluctance.

“I’ll give you some time alone. If you need anything, I’ll be in the little office over there,” she motioned to the doorway and to the left where the bathing and weighing room was located. “Mr. Lopez-Fitzgerald, these girls are going to make it. I know Dr. Hamilton from her work in New York and she’s an amazing doctor who has brought with her quiet a vast staff for the neo-natal unit. You couldn’t have a finer specialist caring for your children.”

“I believe you. Thank you,” his eyes remained focused on his tiny daughter. He didn’t hear the door close, but did hear a little radio come on overhead, the sweet slow strains of a song floating in the air. The soft lighting as well as the sweet music made it seem almost romantic and he knew right away that this would be the best atmosphere for his daughters. Realizing what the song was, Luis chuckled; Sheridan would have laughed that the pink haired, flag eyed nurse would be listening to country music. “Hear that, Kathy?” Luis gently stroked her cheek. “That’s one of Mommy’s favorite songs starting.”

Luis thought about Sheridan for a moment, they way she looked in the moonlight after they made love, her eyes twinkling merrily. He loved the way she looked pregnant, her hands always resting on her budding abdomen and a glow about her that was undeniable. Everywhere he was, everywhere he went, she was with him. On the long nights that he had spent away from her recently, he would close his eyes and still see her face. She was his angel. There was no escaping Sheridan and their love because everything in Harmony, everything on earth, reminded him of her.

Kathy moved her tiny fist slightly, her frail little body seeming to pale from just the effort of the movement. Slowly, he stood from the rocking chair and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Carefully and ever so gently, he lifted his tiny baby girl from the incubator and cradled her close, slowly sitting in the rocking chair and caressing her cheek with his index finger. “Aren’t you beautiful?” he spoke softly, lifting her tiny fist with one hand. The baby seemed to snuggle closer in his arms and Luis found it comforting when none of the alarms went off.

“You just rest, peanut, Daddy is here to take care of you,” he whispered. “I would sing, but even Mommy doesn’t let me do that,” he fought tears. “Oh God, please don’t take away my Sheridan,” Luis cried, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Let her and our girls survive, please let them survive.”

Luis focused on his daughter, placing a kiss to her tiny hand. She shifted again, her deep even breaths encouraging him beyond anything else. Kathy had stolen his heart the second he saw her, as had her twin, and nothing made his heart swell more than holding his very petite baby girl. She had most of Sheridan’s features; except for the fuzzy brown hair that he only hoped would lighten to be the golden blond of her mother’s. He just knew the girls would have big blue eyes and the sweetest faces on earth. After all, they were the angels God had lent him for the next seventy years.

The sliding door opened and Luis’ eyes left his daughter’s face to see who was interrupting their time together. He was surprised to see Dr. Hamilton, freshly scrubbed and in clean clothing, standing at the door way with the smallest hint of a smile on her face. She walked past him for a moment, easily lifting Katie from her crib and holding her in her arms. “You know, Mr. Lopez-Fitzgerald,” she whispered, trying not to frighten the twins, “I went into this work because I wanted to make sure mother’s had the rest of their lives with their babies. The benefit was getting to give a mother the great news that she was having a child.” She rocked Katie. “Today, I’ve found another reason to stay in this line of work.”

“What’s that?” he asked, honestly intrigued by her monologue.

“Helping to save lives. Sheridan pulled through, Mr. Lopez-Fitzgerald. She had an atonic uterus, which means it wasn’t hardening after birth. Because she started to bleed out we normally would have performed a hysterectomy but we have an amazing doctor on staff and we were able to save her without doing so. In other words, Mr. Lopez-Fitzgerald,” she tickled Katie’s belly. “Not only did their Mommy pull through but she’ll be able to give them tons of siblings.”

“You…you mean…” he could hardly breathe.

She nodded. “Sheridan is fine and she’s been brought back into her room. You can go see her if you like, though I’m not sure if she’s awake right now. If she is, she might be groggy.” Dr. Hamilton replied. “By the way, love your choice in names. Katelyn happens to be a personal favorite,” she giggled, tucking the baby back into her layette.

Luis placed a kiss to Kathy’s head and then cautiously returned her to the layette. With a smile, he hugged Dr. Hamilton and even laughed. “You have no idea how much I love you right now, Dr. H! You’ve saved my entire family and I can never thank you enough for everything you’ve done for us!”

“Mr. Lopez-Fitzgerald, stop thanking me and go,” she giggled. “Sheridan is going to need your support between just delivering her children and having to cope with the fact that they are in NICU. I’ll come in and talk to you both as soon as I review their charts, but in the meantime go hold your wife and tell her how much you love her.”

“With pleasure,” he rushed out, not even stopping to change as he ran down the halls to Sheridan’s room. His heart thudded in his chest, his breathing coming in gasps from running so quickly. When he stopped outside her room, Luis closed his eyes and whispered a prayer of thanks to God for saving his wife’s life and sparing his children. Slowly pushing open the door, Luis’ eyes immediate went to the bed where Sheridan lay with her eyes closed. Her hands still rested on her swollen stomach, tear tracks staining her cheeks. Quietly, he crept over, sitting in the chair beside her bed and lifting one hand from her stomach to hold it in his calloused palm. He lifted her hand to his lips for a kiss and then sighed.

“Luis?” she murmured, blue eyes fluttering open and looked at him tiredly. She yawned and then giggled at her foolish she must have looked.

“Hey, baby,” he stood and slid onto the bed. “How are you feeling?” he rubbed her hand soothingly.

“I ache a little,” she replied softly, her eyes downcast. “I don’t remember what happened before, Luis. I barely remember your coming in and giving me a hug.”

“Let’s not talk about that, sweetheart. You’re fine now and I’ve seen the girls. Oh, Sheridan, they’re beautiful. So tiny that their fists don’t even come close to wrapping around my little finger. Little Kathy is about as long as my arm from fingertip to elbow! And Katie is so perfect; they have all these teeny tiny fingers and toes! They can’t wait to meet you; I just know it.”

“Stop,” she protested, tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” he gently lifted her chin to look into her eyes. “God, Sheridan, I was so afraid when you started bleeding before,” he told her. “I didn’t know what to do or how I would live without you if they couldn’t save you,” he caressed her cheeks. “I went sat with the family for a while but they all kept saying how strong you were and I couldn’t listen to it anymore so when the nurse said I could see the girls I went there.” He shook his head. “Our family is so fortunate today. Not only did God spare your life, but he gave us two fighters for daughters…such angels.”

“Just stop!” she yelled at him. “I don’t want to hear how much you love me or how lucky we are! Don’t you realize that it’s my fault, Luis? Don’t you see? If I hadn’t worked so hard and listened to the doctors more, our girls wouldn’t have been born two months early! They wouldn’t be in a NICU fighting for their lives! They would be here, with us in cute little outfits and the entire family would come in and sit with us, telling us how beautiful they are!”

“Sheridan…”

“No,” she whimpered. “I failed our daughters, Luis,” she sobbed.

Luis took her into his arms, holding her close and letting her cry. “Baby this isn’t your fault; you haven’t failed them at all.” He caressed her back. “Shh, Sherry angel, those girls need you and love you as much as I do and they haven’t even met you. You’re going to be a wonderful mother and we all need and love you so much. Please don’t blame yourself; you couldn’t control what happened, Sheridan. You did everything you could once you found out you were ill. If anything, I added more stress with the stupid confession tape…”

Her eyes widened. “You’re right. If I’m at fault so are you! I bet you wanted this to happen,” she snapped.

“Sheridan!” he gasped. “You know I would never want to hurt you or our children! I love you!”

She shook her head, unsure of what she was trying to accomplish. “I’m sorry. I…I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Probably a few postpartum mood swings,” Dr. Hamilton replied, walking in with Sheridan’s chart. “How are you feeling, Mrs. Lopez-Fitzgerald?”

“Better,” Sheridan sniffled, pulling away from Luis and wiping her eyes. “So, what’s the verdict, Dr. Hamilton? What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing a little time won’t get rid of. I’m going to tell you what I told your husband. You had an atonic uterus, which doesn’t harden after birth, and we managed to treat it without doing a hysterectomy. It’s normal for you to be emotional because of the birth, but especially since you do have preemies. Most mothers in your situation will feel guilty and try to blame themselves, but trust me it isn’t your fault. Your daughters are going to be all right with a lot of love and patience. Nothing you did during your pregnancy brought this on. We tried our best to keep it from happening but they were just ready to be here. Katelyn and Kathryn are a little small. Both are fourteen inches long, but Katie weighs three pounds one ounce and Kathy weights two pounds ten ounces.”

“What does that mean?” Sheridan asked, looking at Luis and then the doctor. “I know that’s not high enough…”

“It is low,” Kate told her with a sigh. “We usually hope for a full term to be over five pounds, the average between six and eight. The girls are above weight for their approximate term, so that is a good sign. They are also looking quite good and breathing on their own after only two hours with oxygen tank help. We do have them connected to a tank for precaution sake, but they aren’t intubated. Luis was actually holding Kathy this afternoon and I’m sure his presence is boosting her body already.”

“When can I see them?” Sheridan question. “I would love to hold them and feed them if I may.”

“Unfortunately, you can’t feed them or go visit them until we are sure that you have no symptoms of eclampsia. We’ll supply you with a breast pump so that we can bring your milk upstairs to the girls for feedings, but you won’t be able to go see them in NICU for a few days.”

“Oh,” Sheridan tried not to cry. First, she let her daughters down by not being able to take care of herself properly and then she couldn’t even visiting them while they suffered. “Will they…do you think they’ll survive?”

“I know they will, Mrs. Lopez-Fitzgerald. I refuse to let anything happen to either of them and we have a team of wonderful doctors working on them. You brother has even offered to hire any specialists we need. The twins will pull through with flying colors, though they probably won’t be able to go home for quite some time.”

“That’s all right,” Sheridan replied, tears rolling down her cheeks. “We haven’t finished the nursery yet.”

Dr. Hamilton swallowed hard. “Well, I think that’s everything you’ll need to know for right now, so I’m going to give you two some peace. If you’d like, you’re family may come in to visit now for an hour or so. If you need anything, just buzz and someone will be in immediately.”

“Thank you Dr. Hamilton,” Luis smiled.

“Yes, thanks,” Sheridan fiddled with her blanket as the doctor left. “You know, I’m really not in the mood for company, Luis. I’m rather tired actually. Would you mind going to tell them how we all are and asking them to come back later or even tomorrow? Oh, and thank Colin for being so brave this morning. I really am proud of him.”

“So am I,” Luis smiled, placing a kiss to her head. “You get some rest and I’ll tell the others that you need your rest. Maybe Colin can come back for evening visiting hours and Mama can spend some time meeting the twins since the nurse said the grandparents can go in.”

“That sounds nice,” Sheridan nodded, making herself comfortable and closing her eyes.

“Do…do you want me to come back or…” he faded off.

She smiled softly, opening her eyes. “Nothing I want more than for my husband to come back and hold me, Luis. I love you.”

“Love you too,” he blew her a kiss and left the room.

The smile on Sheridan’s face disappeared, her teeth pulling her bottom lip in. “I’m sorry, Luis,” she sniffled. “I love you and our children but this is all my fault and our girls are suffering because of me. I’m so sorry I let you down,” she closed her eyes again. “So very sorry.”

Luis entered the waiting room and smiled at everyone. He couldn’t believe how much the families had changed over the last year. Julian and Ivy sat holding hands with Ethan and Theresa across from them. Nearby, Pilar, Colin and Beth sat huddled with Misty, Hank and Ashley and their muffled chatter floated in the air. The majority of the waiting room contained Lopez-Fitzgerald family and friends and Luis couldn’t have been happier. The Cranes and Lopez-Fitzgeralds were finally a meshed unit of family and getting along better than they had ever in history. Even Julian had sobered up and started to show the love that was repressed beneath years of being told he wasn’t good enough.

“Luis!” Theresa spotted him first, the heads of every person shooting up. “Beth told us you went to see the girls! Is there news on Sheridan?”

Luis nodded, nearing his family and sitting with the rest of them. “Sheridan is fine and even awake. The doctor said that the problem is taken care of and she will go on to have many more children in the years to come. As for the twins, I actually had a chance to hold one of them and they are simply adorable. Family is allowed to visit two at a time but they can only go in the first time with me or Sheridan and even Colin can go in for a few minutes at a time. Right now though, Sheridan is really tired and asks you all to come back later this afternoon or even tomorrow morning, but if any of you want to see the twins you can see them through the NICU window, but they are really kind of dark so it might be hard. I want to spend some time with Sheridan, so I can’t take anyone in there right now.”

“Oh, we understand completely,” Beth replied, touching his arm. “We’re glad everything is ok, Luis.” She handed him the flowers she had brought earlier, knowing he would bring them to Sheridan.

“Yes, mijo,” Pilar breathed a sigh of relief. “We were all so worried when you hadn’t come back for some time. It is good to hear that Sheridan will be all right.”

“Are you sure that nothing is going to go wrong?” Julian questioned. “I can have the finest doctors in the world here in no time…”

“Thank you, Julian, but I believe that Dr. Hamilton is going to do a fine job of taking care of Sheridan and our girls. If we do need anything, we’ll let you know.” Luis still felt uncomfortable taking things from the Crane family, especially after hearing the confession tape. “Look, I want to get back to my wife.”

“Papa?” Colin went to him. “Can’t I see Mama now? Please? I won’t stay too long! I miss her so much!”

Luis was torn and pulled Colin into his arms. “Oh Colin, we’re so proud of you and I hate telling you no, especially since you were so brave this morning, but Mama is really tired.”

“Please,” the child begged. “Five minutes?”

“We’ll make a deal. You go spend some time with Misty, Aunt Ashley and Abuela and this afternoon you can spend two hours with Mama. In fact, while you spend time with them you can make her a card and maybe get her a present. Good deal?”

Colin sighed. “All right, that’s fair,” he pouted.

Luis ruffled his hair, laughing. “Sheridan and I love you all so very much and we thank you for being the most wonderful family on earth,” Luis told them. “We were lucky today that God helped us bring two beautiful babies into the world and that he left their Mama to spend life with them. I promise if you come back this afternoon you will all get a chance to see Sheridan and some of you will get to meet the twins. But right now I am going to go back to my wife.”

“Luis,” Julian stopped his brother-in-law as he stated to leave the room.

“Yea?”

“Tell Sheridan I love her, will you?”

Luis smiled and nodded. “I will. I’ll give her love from all of you. And again, thank you all,” he headed back to the room to be with his wife. When he returned to her room to find her fast asleep and remained blissfully unaware of her true feelings about the day’s occurrences. After putting the roses on the nightstand, he settled beside her in a chair and closed his eyes, praying before joining her in slumber land where he saw his family together in the future and enjoying their time together.

Pilar stopped outside the room, peeking in for only a moment. She made a sign of the cross and closed her eyes. “Thank you Lord for protecting our family and thank you Mother for heeding my prayers, but please send your son and his angels to watch over our family. I fear that only the worst is yet to come before it will be better.”

What Pilar didn’t know was just how true her feelings were and just how bad things could get before they became better…

Chapter Seven