Sheridan sat propped up against the white pillows of her hospital bed, her sad blue eyes staring longingly out the window at the inviting spring day. The wind rustled the trees, green leaves swaying in the gentle stream of air. The sun shone brightly, the birds sang and she could hear children laughing in the distance. Three days trapped in her hospital room gave her an immense amount of time to think about her current situation with the twins. Not that she had been alone constantly: Luis and Colin had spent quite a bit of time with her and visiting the babies, which she had only recently been given permission to see even if she hadn’t yet. Of course, the entire family had come by as well, even Julian and Beth, which was a pleasant surprise. She could remember the day after the birth and how everyone behaved…

The door creaked open at around eleven, Colin’s tiny head peeking into the room. He had come by the night before to see her, but he hadn’t wanted to leave at all and was looking forward to having more time with his mother. A bright smile broke out across his face when he saw her wide-awake in the bed. The tears started rolling down his cheeks again, reminiscent of the first time he saw her after the surgery when he had buried his head into the crook of her neck and sobbed. He had been so frightened and never had a chance to look in on her when she was first allowed visitors. Waiting three hours, according to Pilar, had nearly killed him. “Mama!”

“Hey kiddo,” Sheridan smiled, watching him scamper across the room. “How are you this morning?” she placed a kiss on his cheek as he hugged her. For him she would always brighten up to spare him as much pain as possible.

“Papa took me to see the babies, Mama! They are so tiny and cute! He even let me touch them! Katie sneezed at me,” he giggled, resting his head on Sheridan’s chest. “Oh and they have these cute little hats on; Katie’s is pink and Kathy’s is purple and the hats have tiny teddy bears on them!”

“Sounds wonderful,” she offered a tense reply and smile, trying to put up a brave front for her son. He was already so attached to his sisters that if anything should happen…well she didn’t want to think about it. The repercussions of the twins’ health would be endless within her family.

“Got some room in there for more of us?” Theresa questioned, bounding into the room with two teddy bears. Her exuberance was annoying and Sheridan was actually glad that Theresa and Ethan had decided to hold out having children just yet. She was afraid of the global IQ dropping. Ethan was close behind, a dozen pink roses in his arms, followed by Pilar, Beth and Julian, complete with giant box of diapers in his arms. Did Julian even know what diapers were used for or how to chose the right size? Sheridan was starting to wonder if invitations had been handed out to this little shindig. Luis closed the door when he entered last, green scrubs still on from his visit to the nursery. Every time he came in he smelled like newborns and it started to annoy her.

“There’s always room for family, right Sherry?” he joined her on the bed, the rest of the family taking seats around her. She tensed when Luis touched her arm, only relaxing when he placed a gentle kiss to her temple. “I took Julian and Mama to see the twins. You’ll never believe it but the twins reacted when Julian started talking to them.”

“Yes, they vomited on my scrubs,” he rolled his eyes, knowing that his sister and Luis had been acting strangely towards him recently and wanting to diffuse it if possible. He didn’t know why but something was up.

Luis laughed again. “I always knew my children would have good taste,” he grinned. Sheridan merely forced a smile.

“Have you been in to see them yet, Aunt Sher?” Ethan asked. “I know the doctors had originally said something about making sure you didn’t bleed again but…”

“No,” was her simple reply and he immediately clamped his mouth shut.

“So how are you feeling?” Beth questioned, nearing her bed and handing her a little present. “From me. I know we’ve been on bad terms lately but I hope we can fix things.”

Sheridan’s eyes teared as she opened the jewelry box and found a necklace with three charms on it: two girls and a boy. She couldn’t believe how incredibly sweet Beth was being considering the fact that she had all but thrown her out of Harmony for Luis’ little pang of jealous all those months ago. The woman had been her best friend, the reason Luis had proposed and returned to her over a year ago and yet she was holding a grudge for something Beth couldn’t control. It was time to make things right. Flashing Beth a shaky smile through her tears, Sheridan nodded. “I think I was more angry at myself than at you,” she hugged her friend. “I’m feeling fine. A little sore and a tad guilty but fine.”

“Mija, you shouldn’t feel guilty about anything. The Lord…”

“I know,” Sheridan held up her hand. “Father Lonigan was here an hour ago promising that the Lord wouldn’t give me more than I can deal with…I just seem to disagree right now. First he gave me two babies, knowing that I honestly don’t even know how to change diapers, and then they come two months too early and are weak and sick. I’m sorry, but if this is not more than I can handle I would hate to see what my breaking point is.”

No one could reply, merely shifting uncomfortably in their seats.

Colin sighed, hating grown up talk. “Mama, when can you go see the babies?” Colin pouted. “I want to be there when you hold them and say hello!”

“I’m sure she can go soon,” Luis ruffled his son’s hair. “Right Sher?”

“Right,” she mumbled. “Soon…”

Most of the family found excuses to leave early, leaving Luis, Pilar and Colin as her only visitors until Luis decided to go back and feed the twins. The nurses had come in every hour or so to help Sheridan pump her breast milk and it was kept in a refrigerator in her room so that it would be used to feed the twins. She wasn’t even far from the nursery, able to hear the screaming babies directly down the hall. Eve, as well as Dr. Hamilton, had come in to check her incision and see how she was feeling, both mentally and physically; both insisted she stay in bed at least the entire day before she even considered heading into the nursery to see the twins but she didn’t want to go see the twins so it wasn’t a huge deal for her.

The new pediatrician had come in as well, showing Sheridan that the TV in the room had two special channels only she received. Dr. Christine Simpson was a beautiful, intelligent doctor in her early thirties with the most haunting green eyes Sheridan had ever seen. She always came in neat and proper, telling Sheridan just what was going on with her daughters and recommending she start using the TV as a way to get to know her darling angles. The channels she was talking about were connected to cameras directly above the layettes in the nursery so she could watch the girls even if she couldn’t be with them: not that she had watched the girls at all. What she didn’t tell any of the people coming in and out of her room as if it were a bus station was that she not only felt guilty, but she hated herself for what happened. She still truly believed that she had let her daughters down and that their early birth had been entirely her blame. Her biggest fear was that Luis, Colin and someday the twins would hate her for this and that she would lose them all for not being more careful while pregnant.

Grabbing the remote to the TV, Sheridan decided that sitting there feeling sorry for herself was not going to do anyone any good. Of course, she was expecting Luis to come in soon from his daily visit with the girls, his blazing smile the first thing she would notice before her eyes met his sparkling brown ones. He always told her how beautiful the girls were, how tiny but healthy they seemed. Then he would recommend she come with him the next time, already having heard the doctors tell Sheridan that she could finally go hold her children and even feed them if she wanted. In fact, the entire hospital staff encouraged her to do so, telling her that the second she held the twins she would immediately know that everything was going to be all right.

But she never went, never put on the channel and certainly never voiced what she was really feeling when it came to her children. All she wanted was to be left alone to wallow in her self-pity and she fully intended to avoid the scene in the NICU where possible. She didn’t want to know how her girls would react when the woman that was the cause of their suffering finally held them and attempted to be the mother they needed. She could almost imagine their screaming in terror when the woman that had ruined their lives finally picked them up into her arms.

Flipping on the television, she wondered if there was anything that could possibly take her attention away from where she was and just why she was there. Some sitcom or drama, maybe even a soap, that would remove the painful memories for just a few minutes and allow her peace. Even in her sleep she could see her babies struggle to live and when she awoke she didn’t want to find if there was truth to the dreams that haunted her. All she wanted to do was go back in time and fix everything so that her babies would be born healthy and on time. The guilt she had been feeling started to cut her off from everyone and while she had yet to become truly a recluse, she was coming close. The only time she made an effort to be normal was with Colin around but when it was only herself or just Luis, she would often just stare off into the distance.

“Lunch call,” the door opened, little Colin following Luis inside. In his arms was a tray of food looking much more appetizing that the hospital cafeteria offered and yet it still turned her stomach. She couldn’t remember the last full meal she had eaten, most times forgoing food for sleep.

“We brought you enchiladas from Abuela’s restaurant! She said she’ll come by later,” Colin smiled, climbing onto the foot of Sheridan’s bed while Luis situated the tray across her lap. The little boy bounced for a second before removing his baseball cap and placing it on his mother’s foot.

“We wanted you to have something decent to eat, especially since you have only been picking at the hospital gruel,” Luis teased. “Go on, dig in. I brought your favorites and the entire plate is just for you. Colin and I had a chance to eat there…”

“Haven’t you been with the babies all morning?” she asked, picking up the cold metal fork and digging into a gooey enchilada. She had to admit that she was hungry and these definitely looked delicious. She tried a little bite to gage her stomach’s reaction and prayed that she wouldn’t be ill. Just when did she eat last?

“No, I popped in on them this morning and Colin went to work with Mama since school is closed for the day. She taught him how to make burritos,” Luis ruffled his son’s hair, earning a disapproving look from the boy. One thing Colin hated was someone mussing his hair. “I picked him up a little while ago so we could come see you again and then we were hoping you would come with us to visit the girls. Dr. Hamilton thinks it will do you good to finally meet them and Dr. Simpson is positive it will help them if you finally hold them and learn to feed them.”

“I know,” she responded, playing around with a bit of cheese on the dish. “I know that everyone wants me to just get up and go in there, Luis. I know that all the doctors think it will vastly improve the health of the twins and that I will feel much better about myself and about their status in life if I finally go and see for myself just what is wrong but I can’t do it, ok? I don’t want to know the truth and I certainly don’t want to see all the machines!” she snapped.

“Sher…”

“Please,” she looked at him, eyes filling with tears. “I can’t do this,” she shook her head. “It’s my fault there in there, Luis, even if you don’t want to admit it. I’m the reason our children are suffering and nothing is going to take away that pain. I don’t want to hold them or bond with them and I don’t want to watch them struggle for my sins! I just can’t,” she started sobbing. “I can’t watch them pay for all the mistakes I’ve made over the last seven months.”

Little Colin watched his father take his mother into his arms, holding her close and whispering promises and words of love. He sighed, for days she had been like this. First she would be angry, then quiet and then just cry. He heard one of the doctors call them “mood swings” and use a big “p” word before saying depression. Post-something-or-other. He didn’t know exactly what it all meant, but he knew it couldn’t be good when his father ran an unsteady hair through his well-greased black locks before pounding the wall. He only wished his sisters could have gotten up and told Sheridan everything was going to be ok. He was worried about them and if the doctors said his mother and sisters could help each other; then they had to be right. After all, they were the ones that went to school all those years!

Luis cupped Sheridan’s cheek as he pulled back, brushing away the tracks of her tears with the pads of his thumbs. “Angel, the doctor said this is going to be a tough time for all of us. I only wish you would depend on us a little more and stop keeping this all bottled up. I love you and Colin loves you and I can promise that little Kathryn and Katelyn adore you. You just have to go hold them once and I promise you’ll change your mind about this being your fault. Those babies hold absolutely no hate or blame inside of them, only love.”

“No,” she shook her head, crossing her arms over her stomach. “If I hadn’t worked so hard…”

“There’s no telling what would have happened. Sheridan, pre-eclampsia is a condition that strikes many women for no apparent reason. Your body just couldn’t handle the twins and because it couldn’t balance this happened…”

“I didn’t help,” she argued.

“Neither did I. But pointing fingers and feeling guilty isn’t going to change the fact that our beautiful little girls are here and need you. Sheridan, how can you deny your own children the right to know such a wonderful mother?”

“Don’t you understand?” she shouted. “Can’t you see what this is doing to me? They may die, Luis, and I don’t know if I can handle that,” she finally voiced her biggest concern and watched as his eyes flashed a darker brown. He wasn’t angry, more worried, but she knew that he was going to argue the point.

“Sher…”

“I want to be alone and I’m not very hungry. Why don’t you go visit the girls and leave me to rest?” she pushed away the tray, removing herself from his arms and hoping he would take it as a hint she wasn’t in the mood for this.

“Sheridan.”

“Please, Luis, I just want to be alone right now and I think I’ll nap or something.”

“Even from me?” Colin asked, sad brown eyes boring into hers. “You need time away from me too?”

“Darling, I never want to be apart from you. If you want to stay and keep me company, you can. I love you, don’t you know that?” she cast a crooked smile at her son. She hated how this was affecting him and she knew that he would try and hide it but eventually even Colin wouldn’t be able to handle this anymore.

“I love you too,” he crawled across the bed and rested his head on her chest, her left arm wrapping around him. “We can rest together. I’m always in the mood for a good nap,” he giggled, knowing that most of the time he would argue not to take a nap.

“I like that idea,” she kissed the top of his head.

Luis sighed, admitting defeat. “I’ll be in with the twins if you need anything, angel. Ok?”

She nodded, watching as he left. Part of her wanted to do something, to stop him and apologize, but she let him go instead. There was no point in trying to apologize for how she felt if she still felt that way. “How about that nap?” she asked Colin, closing her eyes and seeing her husband’s broken heart.

“Rest and I’ll sing for you,” Colin chuckled, starting to sing a lullaby and patting her pale white cheek.

It didn’t take Sheridan long to fall asleep.

Luis strolled into his wife’s room that night, noticing that the only light was the florescent glow of the television. He started to speak, commenting that she was watching reality TV, when he noticed that she was fast asleep, her head fallen to the slide with a small smile on her face. He sighed, sinking into a nearby chair and watching her for a moment. Colin had fallen asleep about an hour earlier and Luis had carefully carried him to the car and then taken him to Pilar’s house for yet another night with his grandmother. Instead of going to the nursery, he had hoped to talk to his wife again and decided to return directly to her bedside. Of course she would have chosen that night to go to bed early while watching some stupid NBC shows leaving him with nothing to do but counter with something on CBS or ABC.

“Figures,” he whispered. “The one night I want to apologize for being so push and remind you how much I love you, you decide to go to bed early. I just want things to get better, Sher,” he brushed some hair off her forehead. “I just want our lives to go back to something relatively close to normal so we can be happy again. I love you.”

Slipping the remote off the bed, Luis flipped through the channels trying to find something to watch so that he didn’t have to leave her side just yet. While he wanted to visit Katelyn and Kathryn, he knew he had also been neglecting his wife just as she was the twins. She might not have known he was missing at the moment, but it comforted him to see her sleeping so peacefully when most times she barely seemed to be sleeping at all. During the day she was so emotional, it was nice to know she received a reprieve at night. His only wish was that it would last longer and that she would wake refreshed and ready to meet their daughters.

The television became dark for a minute and when Luis looked up he was surprised to see little Kathryn’s image on the screen, her purple hat crooked on her tiny head. He chuckled softly at the sight, remembering the time Colin ran inside with his baseball cap on sideways and Sheridan tried to fix his “cool new style.” Turning to the next station, he found little Katelyn fast asleep and sucking on her tiny fist. He remembered Dr. Simpson and Dr. Hamilton mentioning that Sheridan’s TV was equipped with special stations where they could watch the twins even when Sheridan was not feeling capable enough to make it to the nursery, or when she wasn’t allowed in there. This was definitely one of the best ideas a hospital ever had and he found himself enjoying this chance to see his girls without leaving his wife. Luis spent some twenty minutes flipping between the two stations and watching the babies as they slept unaware that they were being watched. Looking at Sheridan, he wondered if she ever put these stations on and watched their daughters even if she wouldn’t go hold them. He doubted it and tossed the remote onto the table beside her bed, leaving the channel on Kathy. Going over to his cot, he lay down and watched his little girl awhile longer before falling asleep.

Some time later, Sheridan awoke from her slumber, sensing that something was wrong with one of the children though she wasn’t sure which child was having problems. Squinting against the light of the television, she looked around the room and realized where she was: the hospital. Shrugging it off she looked around for the remote control, but before she could find it a movement on the screen caught her eye. Looking up, she found her daughter, Kathryn, screaming silently in her bed since the channels carried no sound. For a moment the sight of her daughter on the screen mesmerized her; the tiny bundle simply beautiful even if she was crying. She was the most amazing sight in the world and Sheridan’s hands itched to hold her, even if only for a moment. Still, Sheridan’s first thought was to wake Luis and tell him to go see what was going wrong, but when her eyes fell upon his sleeping form, she didn’t have the heart to wake him from his first slumber in days. She knew he had been working himself too hard between the office, the tape and the children. She wasn’t being much help either and she knew that calling a nurse was out of the question. Sighing, she pushed herself painfully out of bed, her feet finding a pair of slippers there, and shuffled out the door.

Using the wooden handrail on the wall to keep her on her feet, Sheridan continued slowly across the cold, empty hallway to the nursery. This would be her first time walking around the hospital, previously only leaving her bed to shower or use the bathroom that was in her room. The pain in her side and back was completely unexpected and all she wanted was to see to her baby before something happened to her. A nurse or two brushed by, most just smiling politely as they went to one room or another. Sheridan rolled her eyes when one said it was nice to see her up and about. Pushing open the door to the NICU scrub room, Sheridan gasped. She forgot that this hadn’t been explained to her and hoped to find the directions on the walls. Scanning the white tiles quickly, a red light bouncing off of them, Sheridan was pleased to find a metal poster bearing instructions. She quickly followed them and five minutes later buzzed herself into the NICU nursery.

“All right, Kathy, Mommy is coming,” she hobbled further into the room and looked around at all the empty layettes. This certainly wasn’t your typical nursery; other mothers certainly had it easier to attend to their children. “You two are lucky you’re twins or else you’d be lonely in here,” she mumbled, arriving beside her screaming daughter. “So what’s the problem, little one? Why are you screaming so loud that they can hear you in Boston, huh?”

Kathy screamed, kicking her little feet for a second before wearing herself out. Her vocal chords, however, were loud and clear as she continued her incessant complaints.

“Helpful, really, that must be a Lopez-Fitzgerald trait,” she reached out and touched her daughter, surprised when her hand met the warm flesh of Kathy’s belly. The skin was still smooth as any newborn’s and Kathy calmed slightly at her mother’s touch. Still she cried, but not as loudly.

“I…I can’t pick you up,” Sheridan crossed her arms over her chest, swallowing hard when her daughters wails filled the air again. How did one explain problems to someone that had absolutely no communication skills? “I’m afraid, ok? I’m new at all of this and…well what do you want from me? I’ve had a very rough life and this last year totally hasn’t been a picnic and I just don’t think I can deal with this right now. I can’t lose you.” She looked at the still sobbing infant. “Ok, ok you win,” she sighed, gently reaching down and picking up her daughter as if she were priceless crystal. In no time the preemie was in her arms and snuggling against her chest, her wails quieted as her tiny fist found her mouth.

Instinctively, Sheridan started rocking gently, holding her tiny daughter close as she made her way to the nearest rocking chair. There was something about having this baby in her arms that made everything else around her grow blurry. It was like she and Kathy were the only two people in the world and it felt wonderful! Better than anyone could have explained or imagined. The love that filled her was totally unpredictable and Sheridan smiled, kissing her daughters tiny nose. Kathy looked unfazed, whimpering as she continued to suck on the ball of her fist, obviously hungry.

“Let me guess, you want me to feed you too now? Haven’t you ever heard of pacing yourself?” Sheridan teased her daughter as she gently opened a tiny flap in the scrubs she wore. Sometimes Velcro was an amazing invention! Turning Kathy’s head gently, she tried to nurse her and found it came almost naturally to both of them. Sheridan could remember reading chapters on the subject in the baby books she had pretty much memorized during her bed rest days. Whoever wrote them was an absolute genius! Kathy began nursing hungrily while Sheridan rocked gently, stroking her daughter’s soft cheek. “You are beautiful,” Sheridan whispered, fixing the purple hat. “Your father said you were. I honestly have to agree with him,” she felt tears fill her eyes. “He’s a very smart man, Kathryn Pilar, even if he does bother me sometimes. He always knows what’s best for everyone and he loves us all more than anything in the world. Do you know that you and Katie are our first born babies since our wedding? Someday we’ll explain all about Colin to you.”

Sheridan watched her little girl nurse, her eyes barely containing the tears that threatened to spill. She had wasted the last two days avoiding her little girls, refusing any attempt by the medical staff or her family to get her inside to see them. Now, she couldn’t figure out just what she had been trying to accomplish, but she knew that the little angel in her arms was her reason for living. When she first picked up Kathy, she felt connected and complete, the waiting and fighting she had done was finally over and she was healed. Sure, she still felt as if part of this were her fault, as if she had let her daughters down, but she knew that she couldn’t make it up to them by staying in her hospital room and ignoring them. Now she knew that this is exactly what she was supposed to do. She was supposed to be a mother and nurse these babies back to health straight from her heart.

“Now isn’t that better?” she asked Kathy as she ate. “Much nicer than those plastic bottles, huh?” she teased her child. “Taste good, huh? The books say that this has nutrients and very special things to help make you grown big and strong,” she continued rocking. “There are even antibodies to keep you healthy. Now as long as you continue eating this way I’m sure the two of you will end up home in no time. So you behave and me and Daddy will do all the work. Ok?”

Back in Sheridan’s room Luis woke suddenly, the remnants of his dream fading away as he looked around the darkened room. He had a horrible nightmare that someone had stolen the twins and, while she was in there finally holding them, taken Sheridan as well. He could only assume that the person taking his family away was Alistair Crane, who was of course deceased, but he wasn’t willing to take his chances. Right now he needed to be sure his children and wife were where they were supposed to be.

Tiredly glancing around the room, Luis noticed that the television cast an eerie glow on Sheridan’s bed and he was surprised to find it empty, the blankets haphazardly tossed aside as if someone had thrown them off his wife’s body. Getting up quickly, his eyes flew around the room trying to find any sign of his beautiful wife. He found none. “Sher?” he called, continuing his search within the room. “Sherry angel, where are you?”

Luis stopped in front of the TV, his eyes looking up to check on little Kathryn who should have been sleeping in her layette. Instead, he was met with the sight of an empty crib, the baby that should have been inside gone and nothing but her name tag remained behind. He could feel his heart rate start to accelerate, his head spinning with the possibility that his dream was becoming a reality. Panicking, Luis ran out the door to Sheridan’s room and down the hall, sliding to a halt outside the nursery windows where the most beautiful sight in the world met him…

Sheridan was nursing their daughter.

He watched for a minute through the tinted windows as Sheridan rocked in the wooden chair, animatedly talking to their daughter as she fed her a late night snack. Kathy didn’t seem to care as she nursed happily, eating more than she had eaten in the last three days. He didn’t know what changed between Sheridan and the girls, but something inside him found renewed hope that their future would be that much brighter. He had found some clues that led him to believe that his father was alive and well somewhere in the states, so Sheridan obviously couldn’t have murdered him as long as it wasn’t another imposter. Now their children and his wife were starting to bond and chances were they would start to get better every single moment of every day as long as they remained in contact with both parents…

Which meant he should join them. Going inside, Luis did the five minute scrub down and then silently entered the NICU nursery. Sheridan didn’t even look up when the door open, her sweet voice filling the air as she talked to the still nursing Kathy. He didn’t really want to interrupt them, but he also didn’t want to be apart from them any longer. Opting to let them know he was present, he cleared his throat but received no reaction. He decided that it was time to talk instead.

“She hasn’t eaten that much in three days. I think she was waiting for you,” Luis told his wife, nearing the rocking chair cautiously. “This has to be the most beautiful sight my eyes have ever seen,” he knelt in front of her. “This is completely and totally a dream come true, Sheridan. I was starting to think I would never see you hold the children we created.”

“She was crying,” Sheridan explained without provocation. “I could see her on the TV just screaming and I knew she needed me. I couldn’t leave her laying here crying and having everyone ignore her. I was going to wake you, but you were sleeping so peacefully and then the nurses were so busy that there was no one left. So I came in here and I picked her up and fed her and now…now we are just talking about her daddy. I think we’re making a lot of progress tonight.”

“Oh really?” he asked, laughing at the expression on her face. “Good things I hope? I don’t want you poising to her dear old, police officer dad too young.”

“Not really, I was telling her she seems to have some of your traits; she’s stubborn and bossy and quite frustrating when she makes that crinkly face,” Sheridan giggled slightly. “But she obviously loves with her whole heart too, which means that she is going to be just like you. And did you see the cute birth mark she has?” Sheridan asked, tracing the heart shaped birthmark on her daughter’s shoulder. “Does Katie have one? Are they truly identical”

Luis nodded. “Believe it or not, it’s on the opposite shoulder and that’s the only difference besides weight. It looks as if they are absolutely identical twins.”

“Really?” Sheridan smiled. “Luis…I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“Everything,” she sighed. “I realize that lately I have been really hard to deal with and I know that I was very adamant about not coming in here to be with the girls, but you have to understand that I am so afraid that we’re going to lose them that I knew if I actually fell in love with them I would never be able to recover. I knew that the second I held them I would become their mother and I needed that distance to make things easier. But tonight, when I saw her, I knew that I needed to be in here because she needed me and then when I held her I just…I knew that she was the missing piece to the puzzle. She and Katie and you and Colin are what complete me and without the four of you, I would be lost. I’m sorry I made things so complicated, but I love you and our girls and I would never do anything to hurt them. I would never do anything to jeopardize their safety and I’m just afraid that everything is my fault and that if something should happen you’ll take it out on me because I know I would feel a guilt that couldn’t be comprehended.”

“I know that, angel, and I’ve been trying to explain that to you for some time now. We all understand that you’re hurting, though we can’t begin to comprehend just what it feels like. All I know is that I almost lost you and now that I know you are going to be all right I want to focus on bringing these babies home to us as healthy and happy as they deserve to be. But I can’t do it alone, Sher. We need you.”

“I know,” she kissed Kathy’s head, noticing the baby had fallen asleep. “I’m still afraid.”

“So am I, and it’s all right to be, Sheridan. We have a very long and hard road ahead of us with these two, but I know that together we can overcome anything. We’ve always had obstacles but we’ve never given up before. I believe that the two of us working together will only be a stronger force when it comes to attacking anything that could harm our children, even if it’s a simple thing as life itself.” He stood, removing Katie from the other layette and cradling her close. The tot looked dwarfed, but comfortable, in her father’s arms. “These two, Sheridan, are miracles. Their survival depends on how we support them. What do you say we make this a united front and give them our entire support?”

“I like that idea,” she smiled, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Luis?”

“Hmm?”

“How did I get so lucky to have you and Colin and the girls in my life? What did I do to deserve this much happiness even within so much pain?”

“You crashed into my car,” he teased, offering her a smile. “Sheridan, you’ve always deserved to be happy, despite what your father and brother said. I know we can overcome anything and everything thrown at us.”

“I agree,” she caressed Kathy’s cheek. “It feels so good to have her in my arms, to know that you and I created something so absolutely perfect out of our love. They are the most beautiful creations in the world and I have never felt prouder of anything I’ve ever accomplished. Thank you for helping me make them. Thank you for giving me our girls.”

“Thank you for carrying them and going through everything you did to bring them into the world,” he replied, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “Our lives are finally complete, Sheridan. We finally have everything we deserve and I fully intend to preserve this happiness if it’s the last thing I do.”

“Do we?” she asked, looking into his eyes. “Do we really have everything?”

“Yes,” he replied forcefully. “I want you to forget everything but our family right now, Sheridan. We have enough on our plates without thinking about my father and that tape. We’ll worry about that when we are sure the girls are out of harms way. I’m in no rush. It’s been seventeen years, Sheridan. Another few months is hardly going to make a difference anymore.”

“It will still be there…”

“We’ll deal with it later, much later.”

She nodded. Standing slowly, she brought her sleeping daughter back to her layette. Luis placed Katie down for a moment and then slipped his arms around his wife gently. They watched both their daughters resting in identical plastic layettes; their peaceful slumber leaving them blissfully unaware of their finally happy, loving parents. Placing a kiss on Sheridan’s cheek, Luis whispered softly into her ear. “I love you, Sheridan Lopez-Fitzgerald. You’ve made me the happiest man in the world and nothing or no one will ever change it.”

She leaned back in his arms, sighing contently. “I love you too, Luis and I won’t let anyone destroy what we have…ever.”

“Promise?”

She nodded. “At last I have everything I’ve ever dreamed of. My life is finally whole.”

He held her close. “I promise it will be forever.”

Sheridan closed her eyes and relaxed in his arms, enjoying this moment as a family. She didn’t know why but she could feel that everything was going to be all right for now. It was going to be hard and it was going to take a long time to get back to normal, but right now everything was as it was supposed to be and she was going to be able to rest well knowing that she and her daughters would finally be able to move on into another day…

Now all she had to do was find out if she really ruined her husband’s life by killing his father and then she could consider the past at rest. Until then, part of her would always feel like the guilty child kneeling over the body beneath the bloody sheet.

Chapter Eight