The room was dark; the shades were drawn tight against sunlight that was glowing outside. Sheridan lay on the bed, her back to the door as she stared at the wall in front of her. Four days had passed since her miscarriage and she hadn’t moved from Luis’ bed since. Her fiance (was he still engaged to her?) had taken to sleeping on the couch in Pilar’s living room. They were both suffering, neither knowing what to say to each other or how to begin fixing everything that had happened. The question Sheridan pondered now as she stared at the faded gray paint on the walls: can it all be fixed?

Sighing, she decided it was pointless to lie there again. She certainly wasn’t getting anything accomplished by lying there. Pushing herself up, Sheridan spotted the cardboard box on the end of the bed. Sheridan reached for it, pulling it to where she sat. Inside the box were the things she and Luis had collected for the baby since they found out she was pregnant. Reaching in, she drew out a pair of white baby booties and a cute onesie with puppies on it. She sniffled remembering the day Pilar had purchased them.

Sheridan and Pilar entered the baby boutique at the mall. After a bit of discussing, Pilar had become excited with the idea that she was going to be a grandmother. In fact, she had become blissfully happy with the concept. Pilar had mentioned that it was a good idea for them to go shopping on her day off and they had immediately headed into the baby store.

“Oh, Pilar, look at all of this,” Sheridan exclaimed, rushing over to a rack where little baby onesies hung. She picked up one that read “Daddy’s Angel” and giggled. “Isn’t it precious?”

Pilar smiled at Sheridan’s excitement. “It’s adorable, Mija.”

Sheridan pulled another off the wrack and showed it to Pilar. “Look, puppies!” Sheridan laughed again. Her energy was contagious and Pilar found herself scanning the wrack of baby clothing as well. Each took turns holding up the outfits they found the cutest and giggling over the thought of Luis helping to dress a baby in something with tiny blue lambs on it.

After selecting four outfits they liked best, Sheridan and Pilar decided to see what else the store had. Walking the isles, Sheridan realized just how much they would need for the baby: bottles, clothing, toys, furniture…

Pilar spotted the booties on the shelf before Sheridan even made it past the toys. “Sheridan, Mija, look at these,” she held them up.

“Oh!” Sheridan rushed over. “Those are darling,” her eyes were wide and bright. Placing a hand on her belly, Sheridan imagined the baby within her wearing those same booties in nine month’s time.

“Why don’t we consider this my first gift to spoil my grandchild?” Pilar smiled and headed to the counter to pay. “After all, a Nana has to make sure her grandbaby gets everything his or her heart desires.”

“But there won’t be a grandbaby,” Sheridan sniffled and placed the booties and clothing back into the box. Peering inside at the stuffed animals Luis had bought, she felt a tug at her heart. She spotted the old Christening gown that Pilar had saved for her; the one she was dressed in some twenty-odd years ago. Her hand ran over the silk from the gown and she pulled it from the box. Running her fingers over the ribbons and roses, Sheridan imagined their baby in this gown. She would have looked beautiful all bundled up in the white satin dress, the small pink roses around the collar. Their baby on the day of her Baptism…

“Damn it, Sheridan, stop it! There won’t be a baby!” She threw the gown into the box and pushed it to the floor, sliding herself onto the floor beside it. There wouldn’t be a baby ever again. She no longer had any trust in Luis or their relationship. He had lied to her about Colin and now things would never be the same again. Of course, she loved him, which made deciding on her future extremely difficult. It was also the reason she was still living with the Lopez-Fitzgerald family. She couldn’t bear to leave them; or more specifically, she couldn’t bear to leave Luis. She loved him and, deep down inside, she still wanted to be his wife. However, there were a lot of things that had to be dealt with, a lot of reasons to leave and so few to stay.

Sheridan sighed and sat back up. If she continued on this way, she would wither away. She wouldn’t let that happen. Sheridan Crane was going to live her life again, starting today. It was time to deal with everything that had happened over the last four days. It was time to decide what she was going to do with her life.

“I’m glad to see you’re up,” Luis spoke from the doorway.

Sheridan turned to face him. “Hi.” He looked as bad as she felt. Dark circles surrounded his eyes and she wondered when the last time he shaved was.

“I…I thought we could talk, Sherry.” He moved closer, praying she would accept him this time. How many times had he tried talking to her since the miscarriage? He had lost count, but every time he would talk, she just laid there. Never once did she even blink. Her greeting gave him great hope. Maybe, just maybe, he could get them through this, battered but in tact.

His gentle tone and the use of her nickname caused a brightness to come into her eyes, but the light faded as fast as it came. “I really wanted to shower before heading into the Youth Center…”

“You plan on going in?” he asked shocked. Luis had taken time off to be with Sheridan after the miscarriage. When Sam had heard the extent of the problems surrounding that day, he immediately agreed that Luis should take the time. Up until now, Sheridan had refused to let him into the bedroom. In fact, Miguel had been bringing him clothing to wear. Only one person, besides Miguel’s short trips in here to fetch an outfit, had made it past the door to speak with Sheridan: Pilar.

“I think it would do me good to go and spend time with the children,” she replied, wondering just how much good she would be for the children. Could she possibly see them all and not wonder about her loss?

“Maybe,” he reached out to touch her arm. “Can’t we just talk a little first? I promise to try and make it brief.”

Sheridan wondered if she was ready to discuss everything that happened. The pain was still so fresh and the memories all too real. What benefit could there be from discussing it? Then again, what would she gain by bottling everything up inside again? Sighing, she relented. They might as well get this over with. “All right.”

“Really?” he asked.

“Yes, really. We definitely have a lot to talk about.” That was an understatement.

“Yea, no kidding,” he chuckled, but the laughter didn’t reflect in his eyes.

Sitting on the bed, Sheridan watched Luis as he began to pace. He was nervous, that was obvious, but she wasn’t going to make this easy on him. She had made it far too easy every other time they hit a bump in the road. She had backed down and given in just to keep him happy and to become his wife. Now it was her turn to get what she wanted. Luis had taken advantage of her trust in him and it would take a lot more than some flowers to make up for it.

“I know I’m sorry won’t cover what I’ve done, Sheridan. I know it was miserable of me to do something so stupid. I should have told you,” he stopped pacing and looked at her. “I know I should have. Sheridan, I didn’t think she was telling me the truth. I mean I haven’t seen her in five years…there’s room for doubt, no?”

“Luis, he looks just like you. There’s no denying that the child is a Lopez-Fitzgerald and I don’t exactly see Miguel hooking up with someone like Mandy when he was only thirteen!”

“I know,” he sighed. “But my gut told me that she was doing this to break us up. That she knew he really wasn’t my son and was lying…”

“Still, you should have told me, Luis.” She sighed. “You went over there…all those times that you called and told me you’d be late. You went to see them and shrugged it off as if you had to stay at the station! The real reason you were out was because you were with Misty and Colin.”

“Yea,” he looked down. “I had to spend time with him if he’s mine.”

She nodded. “But that was something we could have done as a family, Luis.” Standing, she walked to the window and laughed sarcastically. “He would have been my stepson, Luis. I was carrying his stepsibling. He had a right to know all of us…not just you. He had a right to know that he was welcome in our family!”

“I know.” He did. He knew that now. Still, he had his doubts that Sheridan realized what this would mean. If Colin was his, it complicated everything. How could he turn his back on his son? Would Sheridan really have been so willing to accept the boy?

“Now what?” she asked him, turning to face him. She was back to her protective stance: arms crossed at her chest and icy blue eyes. “Do you realize what not telling me has done, Luis? Do you realize how much pain you’ve caused everyone by hiding the truth? Damn it, Luis, have you thought at all?!” She wanted to say that he was responsible for the death of their baby…that he had sacrificed their child in order to maintain an image to the rest of the world. He wanted to hide his bastard son!

“I guess…”

“No, you didn’t! You were too damn busy upholding that precious image you have to protect. You didn’t care who was getting hurt as long as Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald maintained the image of an honorable and decent man engaged to the love of his life, not some foolish kid that left behind a bastard son! Not the man responsible for the death of his own child…” Sheridan covered her mouth in shock. She knew the second it was out that she would regret it. Those thoughts never should have come to the surface. Never.

He was stung by her words and the pain registered in his eyes. She was right. He had been trying to protect his image. He didn’t want people to think he abandoned Misty because she had been pregnant. He wasn’t that type; he would have never done that to anyone…but the baby. He didn’t kill their child, did he? He wasn’t the reason they lost the baby? Still, she had to know how he was feeling…why he hid it. They could discuss the miscarriage later, after he had time to think about what she said. Now she just needed the truth.

“I didn’t want you to think I would leave you like I did her.”

Sheridan froze. “What did you say?”

“I thought that if you knew I had a son with Misty, you would think I would leave you like I did her. Sheridan, the last time I saw Misty was five years ago. Hell, I don’t even remember sleeping with her back then. We had run into each other here in Harmony. She told me she was moving back to Boston…for good. We talked and admitted it was never really love. Hell, it wasn’t even close to love. Maybe we slept together that night, but if we did that was it. She disappeared three months later and I haven’t seen her until now. Sheridan, I swear that we haven’t seen each other since. I didn’t know she was pregnant!”

Sheridan shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, Luis. What matters is that you didn’t tell me when you found out. I would have known that you wouldn’t leave me,” she held up her hand with the engagement ring on it. She had put it back on in a moment of weakness and refused to take it off. It was all she had left of her dream and taking it off again would mean she’d have to face reality. “This would have proven that we were together until the end. Obviously you didn’t trust in me enough either.” Grabbing her clothes, she headed for the bathroom. “I’m going to take a shower.”

He watched her go, not even saying a word to stop her. He trusted in them, he really did. At the time, he thought he was doing the right thing, he realized now how wrong he had been. Somehow, Luis was determined to make this up to Sheridan. He was going to win her back if it was the last thing he did.

It didn’t take Sheridan long to get ready for the center. She really needed to get out of the house and do something. They drove along in silence, neither knowing where to start. The radio was off; there were too many memories on the stations. Memories and dreams, neither of which Sheridan or Luis felt like dealing with now.

Sheridan and Luis were surprised to find Misty outside of the Youth Center when they pulled up. She stood there, Colin on her hip and a piece of paper in her hand. Angry didn’t begin to describe the look on her face as she approached them. Sheridan looked over at Luis.

“Your fan club is here early,” she rolled her eyes.

“Can you not start just this once?” he looked over at her.

She gave him one of her ‘drop dead’ looks and got out of the car.

“Morning, Misty,” Sheridan tried to smile, but failed miserably. She certainly didn’t feel like smiling at Misty. After all, her arrival in Harmony was ruining everything. The only good she saw in all of this was Hank’s breaking up with the woman, which had happened after he found out what she did to Sheridan at the Youth Center.

“Don’t good morning me,” she growled. “What the hell is this?” she shoved the paper under Luis’ nose.

Luis pushed her hand away. He could tell by the legal symbol on it that Misty had gotten the papers from his lawyer, Ethan.

“That’s a judicial order for Colin to undergo DNA testing. I’m using my right to demand a paternity test. I think you’re lying to me.”

Sheridan was surprised that Luis had actually decided to go through with this. Maybe his lack of faith in people reached further than she thought.

“This is crap and you know it,” Misty yelled. Colin began shaking in her arms and covering his ears.

Sheridan immediately noticed his discomfort and removed the boy from Misty’s grip. “Don’t you care about anyone but yourself? You’re scaring the poor thing. If the two of you are going to argue, at least have the good sense not to do it with the baby around.” She walked past them and into the center.

Luis followed her with his eyes. Sheridan carried Colin on her hip and he actually snuggled up to her. It was amazing. In all the times Luis had spent time with Colin and Misty, he had never seen the boy rest like that in someone’s arms. Most times, Colin had drawn away from Misty as if he were afraid of her. The only time he had seen the boy cry for Misty was the day he first left her at the center with them.

“I won’t let them do this test,” Misty brought him back to the current situation. “I won’t let you decide if he is really yours. He is!”

“You don’t have much of a choice, Misty. I have a right to know beyond all doubt that Colin in my son…and if he is, you be *damn* sure that I’m going to want my visitation rights. Colin will know me as his father and Sheridan as his stepmother.”

“You can’t mean that,” Misty was shocked. “You can’t mean she’s still going to marry you! You can’t expect to just walk back into Colin’s life!”

Stepping closer he stared into her eyes. “You brought him here to tell me I had a son,” he replied through clenched teeth. “You’re the one that waltzed back into *my* life and tore it apart with this! You are the one that brought him here to know his father! Guess what, Misty, he’s going to know his dad because I’m going to make damn sure that any son of mine is well cared for and part of my life.”

Misty opened her mouth to object, but nothing came out. She shook her head in disbelief as Luis walked past her to go find Sheridan.

Sheridan brought Colin inside the Youth Center and helped him remove his jacket. She smiled slightly. After the miscarriage, she had flipped through some of Pilar’s old albums and looked at the baby pictures from Luis and Antonio. It was amazing how close the two brothers looked and how much Colin resembled them. Sheridan was sure that this boy was a Lopez-Fitzgerald. Seeing how Antonio was nowhere to be found meant he had to be Luis’.

“There, that’s better,” she took his hand.

“Fank you,” he whispered and drew away from her. Colin looked Sheridan over. She seemed nice enough, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to take any chances. Misty had soured him to people. The only one that she told him she could trust was Luis.

“Hey, no need to be shy, kiddo.” Sitting down on a nearby bleacher, Sheridan opened her arms. “Come here. We’ll talk.”

Hesitating a second, Colin again tried to decide if Sheridan was a friend or enemy. Deciding that those blue eyes held no anger, he ran to her and climbed into her lap. Again, he looked deep into her blue eyes and sensed the pain she was in. Hugging her, he whispered, “I sowwy you huwt.”

She hugged him back, fighting the tears that begged to fall. He was such a wonderful little boy and so observant. “Do you know who your daddy is, Colin?”

He shrugged. “Mommy say Mr. Wis (Luis) is my daddy. Is he?”

“Sure does seem that way,” she rubbed his back. “Would you like a daddy?”

He nodded. “I wanna leawn baseball.”

She smiled. “He’d love to teach you baseball. It’s one of his favorite sports. Do you know that your daddy was a great second baseman?”

“Me too.” He giggled.

Sheridan smiled and rocked slightly, holding his tiny body in her arms. She wondered if Colin understood that Luis and she were a couple. That if Luis was his dad, she would be his mother too. “Would…would you like another mommy?” Sheridan asked the little boy.

“Anothew mommy?” he asked. “She hit me too?”

Sheridan froze. Hit him? Where would he ever get an idea like that? “What do you mean?”

“Mommy huwts me when I’m bad,” he looked away. “She say she no mean it.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t,” Sheridan replied, holding him close. She tried to fight the tears that again threatened, but they spilled and she found herself crying for the babe in her arms. “Would you like to play some basketball?”

“No, I kinda wike sitting hewe,” he snuggled closer. “Who be my othew mommy?”

“I would be. I’m going to be Luis’ wife someday.” The realization that she still wanted to be Luis’ wife suddenly hit her. She loved him and truly wanted to work everything out. The biggest problem was getting past their issues about trust: the most important thing in a relationship.

“I wike you as my mommy,” he sighed. “You purdy and nice.”

Sheridan giggled. “Thank you. I think you’re handsome.”

“That good?”

“Very good,” Sheridan giggled. “Would you like me to sing to you?”

He nodded.

Sheridan began to sing a lullaby that she remembered from her youth. Pilar would sing it to her when she was working late at the mansion. As she sang, she heard the door to the Youth Center open and looked over to see Luis walk in.

Luis had never seen a more beautiful sight in his life. There was his Sheridan, the woman he loved more than anything in the world, singing to Colin. The boy was snuggled close to her, his head resting on her chest and his eyes closed. He was falling asleep there in her arms. Nearing her, she placed a finger to her lips for him to be silent. Luis nodded.

“Is he asleep?” she whispered.

“Yes,” he replied. Looking into her eyes he noticed the tears. “What’s wrong?”

“She hits him, Luis. She hits the poor kid.” Sheridan’s voice revealed the pain in her heart. How anyone could beat another person, especially a child, was beyond her. She would have done anything for their baby; protecting the baby with her own life and never have given it a second thought. How could Misty do this to her son?

“What do you mean?” he asked. Sheridan couldn’t possibly mean that Misty beat Colin, could she?

“He told me that she hits him when he is bad. Luis, do you think…” she couldn’t even finish the thought. She didn’t even want to consider that the woman who was ruining her life could possibly be ruining that off this poor defenseless child.

Luis’ eyes grew wide and he carefully removed Colin from Sheridan’s arms. “I need you to do something for me, Sheridan. I need you to help me check for bruises and marks.”

Sheridan stood and reached out towards the boy. She was afraid of what she could possibly find.

“Lift his shirt carefully, look for marks that don’t seem like something that would happen when a kid falls or rough houses.”

Sheridan nodded and gently lifted Colin’s shirt. On his back was a large purple bruise surrounded by cut marks. Within the black and blue, she could identify Misty’s ring. The letter M was obvious: a tracing of the diamond initial ring Misty always wore. Sheridan fought a sob as she traced the small letter. “Luis,” she gasped.

“No,” he shook his head. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening! Misty didn’t beat Colin; she couldn’t beat Colin! Not his son! “No, Sheridan, it can’t be!”

“I’m sorry, Luis,” Sheridan whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

Gently placing the boy on the bleachers, he checked the bruise himself. Punching the wall beside them, he cursed under his breath. “Damn it. She’s been hitting him, Sheridan. She’s been hitting my son!”

Sheridan flinched, not only from the anger, but also from the pain his words caused. *His* son. Colin would be a reminder of everything that had happened. He would remind her that she had miscarried their baby because of the secret Luis had kept. Shaking her head, she couldn’t let these thoughts come now. After all, Misty was abusing Colin; that was far more important.

“Luis, maybe we should take Colin to see Eve or someone. We need to have this on file, don’t we?”

He nodded. “Sheridan, I want to fight for custody of my child, especially if the DNA test comes back positive.”

“Don’t you think we should discuss this?” she asked, surprised.

“There’s nothing to discuss. If he’s my son, I won’t ever let that woman beat him again. He deserves a better life that that…”

“You mean a life with his father…”

“And his stepmother,” Luis looked at her expectantly.

“Whom are you marrying?” she asked, grabbing her purse. “If you don’t care to discuss things that will affect our future, then you can’t expect me to be your wife.” She shook her head. “I can’t spend the rest of my life taking your orders, Luis. We’ve tried that and it didn’t work.”

“That was a different situation.”

“Yea, my life was in danger. Don’t you think that this is something we *should* discuss. Besides, you seemed awfully sure that Colin wasn’t really your son this morning.” She started for the door. “You can take *your* son to see Eve on your own. I have other things to do,” she disappeared out the door, not once looking back.

Luis sighed. In five seconds he managed to undo all the bonding they had done. He had seen it. Her eyes had become icy again and she had taken her defensive stance: arms crossed over her chest. He couldn’t believe he had been so stupid. Of course they should have discussed it. He knew Sheridan would have never denied him his son. However, she was going to deny him the one thing he wanted more: her heart.

Sheridan’s first instinct was to see Beth. Over the last few days, Beth Wallace had become more than just a friend. She had proven herself to be Sheridan’s closest confidant. Beth had been the only person to come by every day since the miscarriage and allow Sheridan to cry, no questions asked and no talking necessary. She merely held Sheridan as she sobbed out all her frustrations and let out all her emotions. She had become the thing Sheridan never had and always wanted: a sister.

Pushing open the Book Cafe door, she noticed all the happy teens settled at tables. The Cafe had certainly picked up today of all days. Sheridan found herself chuckling. It would be busy the one day she needed a friend and some quiet time.

Beth spotted Sheridan as she opened the door. She noticed the dried tear tracks on the blonde’s face. If there was one thing Beth knew, Sheridan needed her. Beth was happy about one thing; Sheridan was finally out of bed and out of the house. Perhaps with just a little more help, Sheridan would be back to normal or as close to it as possible. “Hey, Chad, do me a favor and cover a while. Get Denise to help.”

Chad, who had also noticed Sheridan entering alone, nodded. “Get them back together, Beth. They sure were made for each other.”

Beth smiled. “I’ve been trying to do that for days now, Chad, but those are two stubborn soul mates.”

Chad laughed. “Don’t gotta tell me.”

Beth giggled and headed towards Sheridan. “Sheri!” Beth had taken to using Sheridan’s nickname as well. In fact, Sheridan had been trying to get more people to call her by a shorten version of her name. Sheridan was so proper. She needed something that suited her now.

“Hey, Beth,” Sheridan tried to smile. “You wouldn’t have time to talk would you?”

The women hugged and Sheridan found herself clinging to Beth. “Do you know what, you caught me during my break. What do you say we grab you a coffee and head upstairs for a chat at my kitchen table?”

“I’d like that a lot.”

“Me too,” Beth smiled. “What can I get you today?”

“Apple juice,” she replied with a weak grin. “Ironic as it sounds, my brain refuses to accept the fact that I can have caffeine.”

Beth’s smile faded a little. “Apple juice it is. Start on up, I’ll bring it to you.”

Sheridan nodded and headed back towards the door to the apartment. Beth watched her with interest. She noticed her slow, purposeful stride. She was so depressed that even her walk reflected it. Sighing, she returned to the counter and looked at Chad. “This will be harder than I thought, Chad.”

“Why’s that?”

Giving the doorway where Sheridan had just disappeared another look, she replied, “Just take my word for it.” She grabbed an apple juice from the small fridge beneath the counter. “Sheridan Crane is going to be a tough one to get back.” She headed for her apartment, unsure of how she would ever bring her dear friends together again.

Luis carried Colin into Eve’s office. In one hand, he held the court order allowing him to have the paternity test done. In his other arm he carried Colin. When he called Eve minutes before, she promised that she could take a small DNA sample for the test now and examine Colin. However, she told him it could take two days before the sample could be analyzed. He sighed. He had waited this long, another two days surely wouldn’t kill him.

Behind the receptionists desk stood a short, plump woman with dark auburn hair and sparkling blue-green eyes. Her wavy locks were braided tightly and held back by a red bow that matched her shirt perfectly. They called her Lori, Eve Russell’s nurse for the last fifteen years. She was a good nurse, one that knew everyone and cared about everything that happened to him or her. Luis found the cheery older woman to be the best part of Eve’s practice.

“Luis,” Lori smiled. She had known Luis for years and had been in the room when Sheridan and Luis had their first ultrasound done. Her smile faltered, if only briefly, but noticeably. “How are you?” She wanted to ask about Sheridan, but something in his eyes gave her that answer.

“Been better, Lori; loads better.” He looked at the boy in his arm and then back at Lori. “I’m here to see Eve.”

“She’s expecting you,” she replied. “I’ll just let her know you’re here. Have a seat and I’ll come get you in a few minutes.”

He nodded, glad she didn’t ask about Colin. Not like she needed to, it seemed if everyone in Harmony knew about Colin. Sighing, he sank down into a nearby chair, wishing that Sheridan had been with him. He missed her…her smile…her eyes sparkling with love or dark with desire…the smell of her skin after a bath or a shower. Everything about her always delighted him and right now all he wanted was Sheridan in his arms and their baby growing inside her again. He felt his eyes begin to tear as his heart constricted with pain: their baby. Did he ever grieve for their lost child or was he too busy trying to keep Sheridan’s sinking soul above the water? She was drowning and it was wearing him out trying to keep his beloved fiancee’s head above the water. He sniffed. Somehow he would get them through this. There had to be a way to get back what they once had.

Lori returned to the waiting room and opened the door back to the examination rooms. “Luis, come with me. She can see you now.”

Luis stood and carried Colin through the dooway, following Lori as she led them to another room. When they stopped, Lori motioned him into another room. It was brightly lit and painted with cartoon characters.

“Eve had a room made specifically to make children feel comfortable here,” Lori laughed. “Never thought I’d see the day Eve Russell had Mickey Mouse painted on her walls.”

Luis chuckled. “Me neither.”

“If you need anything, you know where I am. Eve should be in soon.”

“Thanks,” he watched Lori leave.

Colin chose that moment to wake up. For a minute, he looked around in wonder, trying to remember where he was. He spotted Luis and knew that he was at least safe. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to find anyone or anything else he recognized, but nothing came into view. He hadn’t any idea what this place was. “Mr. Wis?”

“Hey, kiddo. How was that nap?” Luis neared Colin, who he had placed on the exam table.

“Where nice wady?” Colin asked looking around for Sheridan. He was disappointed when he didn’t see her anywhere around.

“You mean Sheridan?” Luis thought it was cute that Colin was asking for Sheridan.

“Shew…i…huh?” Colin couldn’t say her name.

“You can call her Sherry.” Luis smiled. “Can you say that?”

“Shewi,” Colin smiled. “Where she go?”

“She’s probably at the coffee place getting a drink,” Luis took Colin’s little hand into his own. “She likes it there.”

“Where we?”

“We’re going to see Dr. Eve about those bruises you have, kiddo.”

“Mommy say I no tell bout bwuises,” Colin sniffled. “I no wanna wive wif her no more.”

Luis ruffled Colin’s hair. “Don’t worry, kiddo, I promise you won’t have to go back to her ever again.”

“It’s nice to see you dressed,” Beth teased as she joined Sheridan at the kitchen table in her apartment. They were just sitting, sipping their respective drinks and thinking about everything that had happened. Both wanted to talk and neither had known where to start when Beth decided that the silence had to be broken.

Sheridan smiled, but it didn’t quite meet her eyes. “I figured I couldn’t spend the rest of my life in Luis’ bed.”

“I can’t think of a better way to spend my life,” Beth teased. She could definitely think of worst ways to spend the day then snuggled closely in Luis’ strong arms.

“Feel free to take the job from me then,” Sheridan replied. She put her cup down and sighed. “I feel so empty, Beth, so completely and utterly empty. It’s like I’m a shell and there’s nothing inside of me anymore. Everything’s gone and I don’t know where it went.”

“What happened, Sheridan? Yesterday, you seemed so ready to move past all of this. You seemed like you were ready to start over again with Luis. You told me that you were going to recommend a short trip for the two of you to work things out together.”

“This morning we started to talk, Beth. For the first time since the miscarriage we were really going to have a conversation. He admitted that he didn’t tell me sooner because he was afraid that I would think he’d leave me,” Sheridan paused. “Did he really not trust in our love that much, Beth? Did he really think that I would look at the past year and decide that he would disappear on me? Give up on us?”

“Maybe he thought you would talk to me about it and discover that he left me for Misty in high school…”

“That was years ago, Beth. Luis is a different man, you’ve said so yourself. Beth, he’s never given up on me before; why would I have believed he would now? Even after the imposter he was so persistent.”

Beth shrugged. She honestly didn’t have an answer. “So what happened after that little chat?”

“I wanted to come into the Youth Center. I was hoping that I would cheer up around the kids. Maybe that would help me make some decisions and then Luis and I could really have a heart to heart tonight. Well, when we got here, Misty was waiting on the steps of the center with some paper in her had. It seems Luis decided he wanted a paternity test done. He wanted proof that Colin was indeed his son. So, while they argued over it, I took Colin, who was terrified of Misty’s screaming, into the center and we chatted.”

“You bonded with the kid?” Beth asked surprised.

“Yea,” Sheridan smiled. “He’s a wonderful little boy, Beth, and I’d be honored to be his stepmother.”

“Well, then what made you cry and come over here if you and Luis should be spending time with your son…”

“His son,” Sheridan corrected. “Luis sees Colin as *his* son.” She sighed. “Colin told us that Misty hits him whenever he’s bad. I guess that happens to be a lot, judging by the black and blues on his body. Luis decided that if it’s true and Misty’s been abusing *his* son then he’s fighting for custody.”

“Well, then you really can be a mother to the boy. That’s what you want…”

“But he didn’t ask me about it, Beth. He assumed right away that I would be willing to raise Colin with him. He didn’t even leave it open for discussion. It was his son and he would make the decisions. Beth, I can’t live the rest of my life being told that this isn’t my child and I don’t have any choices in his life. I just can’t be there to take Luis’ orders.”

“So you decided to turn your back on them instead?” Beth asked.

“I don’t know what I’ve decided to do,” Sheridan played with a paper ball on Beth’s table. “I love Luis, Beth, and I don’t want to spend one day without him…but there is so much to work through and I’m not sure I want to spend the rest of my life second guessing everything. Maybe I should just move back to the mansion.”

Beth gasped. “No, Sheridan you can’t do that. Luis loves you, Sheridan, he really does. He has been so miserable over the last few days. He needs you more than anything in the world.”

“But…”

“No buts, Sheridan Crane. If you love Luis then work it out, damn it! Don’t make excuses! Take your time if you’d like, but don’t give up.”

Sheridan didn’t respond. She didn’t have to. Beth was right. Giving up couldn’t be an option.

“I’m sorry the news couldn’t be better, Luis,” Eve looked over at the cop that she had phoned: David Martinez. When she had conducted the examination, she noticed that Colin seemed to have broken his arm at one point. She had sent for an X-ray and found that the type of fracture he had tended to be from the arm being twisted and pulled. Eve told Luis that there was no way a fall could have done it.

“Thanks, Eve,” Luis looked over at his friend Dave from work. “Thanks, Dave.”

“No problem, Luis. I’ll bring this paperwork back to the office and get that restraining order out later this afternoon,” he promised. “She should get a copy by eight tonight.”

“I’d appreciate it,” Luis picked Colin up. “And Eve, thanks for taking the sample for the DNA test and trying to get it done soon. I want to know as soon as I can so that Sheridan and I can work this out.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll try to have the results by tomorrow, no promises.”

Luis nodded. He had felt terrible when Colin screamed about the needle, but it had to be done. He needed to know if this child was really his son. “Ready to go, kiddo?”

“Can we go see Shewi?” he asked.

Luis nodded. “We’ll go see Sherry.”

“Yea!” Colin cheered.

Luis smiled. He and his son did have one thing in common; they both loved Sheridan.

Sheridan entered the Youth Center and found Hank happily running the show. He was actually doing it fairly well too. The kids were taking shots at the basketball hoop and some of the younger kids were working with some of the teens on projects. Sheridan knew she shouldn’t have doubted Hank as their temporary replacement. He had been doing this with Luis for years before she showed up. She decided to leave things the way they were running and exited without being noticed.

As she headed across the parking lot to walk to the wharf, she spotted Luis’ silver SUV coming and tried to walk away as fast as she could without being spotted. She whispered a silent prayer that he would leave her be. She really didn’t feel like arguing with him and she certainly needed more time to think. It wouldn’t be answered thought because Luis spotted her.

“Sheridan, come get in the car, baby…” Luis stopped the SUV by the curb and hoped she would get in.

Sheridan looked over at him. He looked lost and confused; he needed to talk. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to deal with talking right now. In fact, she wasn’t sure of anything. Beth’s voice played in her head: “If you love Luis then work it out.” Sighing, she walked closer to the SUV. “I’m not in the mood to argue with you…”

“I don’t want to argue either. Sheridan, I love you. Arguing isn’t the way I want to spend my time with you.”

She still couldn’t decide if she wanted to get into the car with him. There were many things to discuss and she knew they would avoid them if they could. Avoiding them wouldn’t solve any of the problems though and she wanted to get back to what they once had.

“Come on, Shewi,” Colin smiled from the back seat. He was so happy and his smile was contagious. “We go fow ice cweam.”

“Ice cream, huh?” Sheridan smiled at the little boy.

“Cookie dough with rainbow sprinkles,” Luis looked deep into her eyes, knowing it was her favorite.

“I do love rainbow sprinkles…” she was weakening.

“Please, Sheridan. I was wrong this morning and I want to make it up to you. We should have discussed this.”

He was admitting that he erred this morning and Sheridan found herself unable to deny his request. Maybe they could work this all out. “All right,” she opened the car door and carefully climbed in. Luis leaned over and gently kissed her lips. Her hand flew to her mouth, which still tingled from the brief contact. She glanced at him.

“I really need you right now, Sherry. I need you so much it hurts. I want to work things out.”

“Why?” She didn’t know what had changed.

“We’ll talk at the ice cream place, ok?”

She nodded. “Ok.”

They settled at a table, watching as Colin rode on a quarter driven pony in the corner of the ice cream parlor. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and Sheridan found herself falling in love with the child, if she wasn’t in love with him before. She could see him as their son in the future, not just Luis’. Speaking of Luis, she found herself falling deeper in love with him as she watched him with the boy. Luis was gentle when it came to Colin. They fooled around and told jokes; both had given her pout faces when she refused to let Luis pay for her ice cream. After they sat at the table and distracted Colin with the horse, Luis filled her in on the information he had received from Eve and she was disappointed that it had gone that way. She had hoped that Misty wasn’t as terrible as she first thought, but she needed time to decide on the custody issue. Luis had seemed ready to argue his point, but they had ultimately decided to hold off on the custody decision for just a little while.

Now, they sat listening to music from the nearby jukebox. Sheridan listened carefully to the lyrics while she watched Colin. He was no longer on the pony, but now he was playing cars with another little boy at one of the other tables. Sheridan was amazed by how outgoing the little boy was. He didn’t seem the least bit reticent when it came to other children. She returned to the music around her.

The song currently playing sounded like something she would say. She had once asked herself everything the song did. How did she ever deny her love for Luis? It had always been there, even after the imposter fiasco. She had found herself loving him more in Paris than ever before and when he was ordered to be her bodyguard, she had found herself lost. She knew she wanted him; there was no denying that, but to have him at her beck and call was overwhelming. Love had been what she was fighting, not Luis.

“So…” she began. She needed some distraction from the music.

“So,” Luis sighed. “Sheridan…”

“Yes…”

“Do you still love me?” he rushed the question. He needed to know before they decided on anything else.

Sheridan thought the question was odd. What could she possibly say to that? Of course she still loved him. She didn’t think it was possible that she would ever stop. She motioned to the jukebox. “What do you think?”

Luis listened to the words and smiled. He had missed her touch so much in the last few days. It was like he was missing part of himself. Sheridan was his other half. She completed him. He never wanted to live without her and he couldn’t believe that they could ever exist without each other. Ever since she hit his car almost two years before, Luis knew that his life would never be the same. He loved Sheridan with every fiber of his being.

“So what do you think?” she asked him.

He took her hand into his. “I think…I hope you still love me.”

“Forever.”

“I love you too,” he kissed her hand. “Sheridan…”

“I know, Luis,” she looked into his eyes. She knew. “We can get through this, Luis. There has to be a way. We’ll give Colin a great home and spend the rest of our lives giving our son the best…”

“I like the sound of that…”

“But there are still some kinks to work out of this relationship, Luis. I’m still not quite over the fact that you didn’t tell me about this…”

“I know,” he looked down.

“And…we haven’t dealt with…” she couldn’t finish.

“We’ll grieve together, Sherry angel,” he promised.

She nodded. “I’ve missed you.”

“Ditto,” he smiled and gave her another gentle kiss. “Ditto.”

That night was the first one in nearly a week that Sheridan and Luis shared a bed again. After tucking their son in and telling him a story, ironically he asked about their first meeting, the pair returned to Luis’ room. Sheridan dressed for bed and then went to Luis, who was laying in bed waiting for her.

“Hey,” he smiled.

“Hi,” she crawled over and lay down in his arms. “You were very good with Colin.”

“So were you. He adores you, Sherry angel. In fact, he asked for you first at the doctor’s office.”

“I adore him too,” she snuggled closer. “He called me mommy, did you hear?”

Luis smiled. “Yea. I was shocked when he said ‘night Mommy and Daddy.’ I felt…it was just so overwhelming.”

“I agree, but I wouldn’t have asked him to take it back ever…”

“Me neither.”

She began to rub his chest. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” he kissed her temple. “Sheridan?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry for everything, baby.”

“I know,” she sniffled.

“Can we…”

“Eve said it was a boy,” Sheridan whispered.

“What?” he asked.

“We would have had a son,” Sheridan felt her eyes tear. “We had a son…”

Luis hugged her tightly. “Oh God, Sherry, I’m sorry. I…”

She hugged him back. “I didn’t think it would hurt so much, Luis. I didn’t think I could possibly miss something I hadn’t even had yet…”

He was too choked up to speak.

She was crying, her tears hitting his chest. “I’m sorry I said it was your fault.”

“Maybe it was…”

She shook her head no. There wasn’t any way it could have been his fault. “I shouldn’t have said it,” she kissed his chest. “I never should have said it. It wasn’t your fault.”

“You were hurting. I didn’t exactly help the situation by demanding we take Colin in.”

“True,” she teased.

He chuckled. “Why don’t we get some sleep, baby. We can talk more in the morning.”

She nodded against his chest. “You’ll hold me?”

“All night long, sweetheart. And starting tomorrow I’m going to make this all up to you. We’re going to go house hunting and start our planning again and we’re going to work through everything that happened.”

“I’d like that, Luis. I want to be your wife.”

“Good, because I want to spend the rest of my life loving you.”

“Ditto,” she smiled. Closing her eyes, she allowed sleep to take her over.

“I love you, Sherry angel, and I’m not going to let anything come between us again,” he whispered and kissed the top of her head. Whispered a quick prayer of thanks, Luis closed his eyes and fell asleep as well.

Chapter Five