Sheridan sighed as she carried a large cardboard box of ornaments into the living room. She had one week before Christmas came and had barely gotten anything done. Luis had left her in the care of Crane security while he went out to get a tree for the living room of the cottage. She smiled. It was almost as if they were a family getting ready to celebrate their first Christmas together. While the thought pleased her, it also made her wonder what kind of wife she could really be to the man she loved. He always tried to show her what she meant to him, but she had yet to feel that she was truly giving back what he deserved.

Glancing at the clock, Sheridan placed the box on the couch and waited for Theresa. Since she was not allowed to go to shopping in town, Sheridan had asked Theresa to go shopping for her. She made a list of things she wanted to buy for people and asked Theresa to pick them up. She added boxes and rapping paper to the list and decided to wrap the presents herself. Her only wish was that she knew Luis would like his gift.

Again she checked the clock, praying Theresa arrived before Luis returned. She didn’t want anyone to see the presents she had chosen for everyone. A knock on the door alerted her of someone’s presence.

“Come in,” Sheridan called.

Theresa walked in with bags of gifts in her arms. “Sorry it took me so long, but you did wait until the last minute to get this shopping done.”

Sheridan helped Theresa bring the bags into her bedroom. “I know. I just couldn’t help it. When I saw Luis getting all excited as he looked through some of the catalogues I received in the mail, I knew I just had to get him some presents. Then of course there’s your mother, you, Ethan, my nieces and nephew at boarding school, Beth Wallace, Miguel…”

“I get the picture,” Theresa held up her hand. “Remember, I did the shopping.”

“And I can hardly thank you enough!” Sheridan replied unpacking the bags. “Did you find everything?”

Theresa nodded. “Absolutely everything on the list was still the stores. Not many of them were left, but at least I was able to get them.”

Sheridan’s smile grew threefold. “I have one more request.”

“Anything, Sheridan,” Theresa smiled. “After all, you’re keeping one of my most precious secrets.”

Sheridan patted Theresa’s hand and forced away the thoughts that those secrets could ruin her relationship with Luis. She was hiding the fact that Theresa was seeing Ethan. “I need you to teach me to wrap these things.”

Theresa giggled. “No problem. Let’s get started before Luis gets back here with that tree.”

Sheridan watched as Theresa took one of the gifts and put it in a gift box. Watching the girl’s hands as she decided how much paper she needed and then cut the sheet into a square. Theresa wrapped the gift and added a pre-made stick-on bow, holding it up for Sheridan to see.

“Wow,” Sheridan shook her head. “You did that fast.”

“I was a gift wrapper at the mall one year,” she giggled.

Sheridan laughed and the two settled into wrapping the gifts. They put them back into the bags and returned them to the living room so that they could be placed under the tree when it arrived. Theresa hugged Sheridan and headed for the door. “Tell Luis Mama said not to be late for midnight mass.”

“I’ll tell him,” Sheridan replied sitting on the couch.

Theresa waved and left, heading to the main house for an afternoon of work.

About an hour later, Sheridan heard the door open and turned to see Luis bringing in the top of an evergreen tree. As he came down off the landing, she noticed Sam bringing in the other end.

“One Christmas tree for a Ms. Sheridan Crane,” Luis said as they pulled the tree further into the living room.

“Luis, it’s gorgeous!” Sheridan clasped her hands together gleefully. “It’s going to look spectacular when it’s decorated!”

“It better,” Sam laughed as they set up the tree. “Luis spend the last four hours comparing it to every tree at the lot. I was beginning to think we’d never get back here with one!”

“It has to be perfect,” Luis shrugged slightly. “This is our first tree as a couple, Sam.”

“I know, but you didn’t have to be so damn picky,” he teased his friend.

“I wasn’t picky,” Luis replied, cutting the plastic that was pressing some of the branches down flat. “There were just too many choices and not enough that fit my description of a good Christmas tree.”

“He labeled several of them ‘Charlie Brown Trees’ and a few others ‘completely unacceptable for his home.’”

“His home?” Sheridan winked at them. “I thought this was my home.”

“Careful, Sherry baby, or else Santa won’t be visiting this cottage for Christmas.”

Sheridan gave her his best pouting face and Sam laughed. “If I didn’t know better I would say you two are married already,” he shook his head. “Well I better get back to Grace. She was to decorate the Bed and Breakfast for our winter visitors. She bought enough garland to wrap around the outside of the building about eight times.”

Luis laughed. “She was always the one in the Christmas spirit.”

“Yea, and she’s making tomato soup cakes for sale,” he scrunched up his nose in disgust. “So you might want to stay away until after New Years.”

They all laughed.

“Thank you so much, Sam, for helping Luis with the tree. I am so excited about Christmas this year.”

“And well you should be,” Sam smiled. “Anything for Luis’ girl, Sheridan. I know he loves you.”

Sheridan blushed. The men laughed at her reaction.

“I think I’ll leave you two to do the decorating,” Sam headed for the cottage door. “If you two need anything at all, let me know.”

“Thanks, Sam,” Luis grinned as his friend left. Turning to Sheridan, he opened his arms. “Now, where’s my hug.”

She immediately ran to him, flinging her arms around his neck. “I missed you so much, Luis. Theresa dropped off the gifts I asked her to buy and they are waiting patiently to be put under the tree.” She leaned in and kissed his lips. “I’m so excited about Christmas this year, darling.”

“Me too,” he leaned his forehead against hers. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Luis, and I think you did a wonderful job on choosing a tree for our home.”

“Our home?” he asked, making sure he had heard her correctly.

“Yes, our home, Luis. I see this as our home…at least for the time being. Some day I think we’ll really have a home of our own.”

“I think so too, Sherry angel,” he agreed while caressing her back. “I have a surprise for tonight.”

“Oh Luis, what is it?” Sheridan pulled back excitedly.

“I can’t tell you now, but you’ll have to dress warmly since we’ll be leaving the Crane compound.”

“Really?!” Sheridan was getting super excited. “We’re really going to go out?”

Luis nodded. “I’m going to make you an early dinner and then we’re going to be going into town. I have a very nice evening planned for us there and I think you’ll enjoy everything I arranged.”

“Luis, you really didn’t have to plan anything for us tonight. We could have watched some Christmas movies or listened to the radio while enjoying the lights on our soon to be beautifully decorated tree.”

“Well, I had other ideas, baby. I know you love staying here with me and doing nothing but making love and lounging around, but I thought people might think we were antisocial if we didn’t start getting out just a little more. Now, no more about the plans for tonight. We need to decorate our tree.”

Sheridan nodded, trying to figure out what could have prompted Luis to make plans for this particular evening. The gears started turning as she brought over the box of ornaments and lights to decorate their tree. “You know, I was thinking this morning about my father and Julian,” Sheridan stated softly as she removed a set of white lights from the box.

“What about them?” Luis asked, plugging in the lights to test them. When they all lit up he unraveled them and started to string them.

“I was wondering why they were leaving us alone right now. Usually they would try to interfere somehow. My brother would start going off on how untrustworthy you are and I would be questioning things. Perhaps they backed off after the imposter fiasco, but I doubt it will be long before they start something else, no?”

“True, but it has been three months since we got together and they haven’t made a move yet.” Even Luis suspected something was coming, though he was trying to deny it.

“They probably think this is a phase I am going through…”

“Is it?” he asked, stringing the lights onto the uppermost branches.

“How can you ask that?” she paused, hurt.

Luis stopped stringing the lights and looked down at her. She was on her knees besides the box, her eyes filling slowly with tears and her hands gripping another set of lights. “Sheridan, I just wanted to hear you say it wasn’t. I don’t doubt that you love me, but I need to know if you see us together for as long as I do.”

Sheridan looked up and sniffled. “I see us together for the long haul, Luis. I won’t grow out of my love for you and my love won’t ever change. I need you, Luis. I always will need you.”

He smiled. “Then, Sheridan my love, we will be together for the long haul and nothing they do can ever tear us apart.”

“Good,” she smiled widely. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”

“You’ll never have to find out,” he smiled and returned to his work.

Sheridan watched as Luis stretched to place the lights around the tree, his sweater hugging at his chest and his entire body seeming to become more interesting with every move. His muscles were proudly displayed as he placed the lights on their tree and his sweeter even rode up displaying his well-toned stomach.

“Sheridan, I need more lights,” Luis said from his position at the tree. “Sheridan?”

She continued to watch him, imagining her hands tracing those well-defined ridges and muscles. Her eyes were closed and her lips slightly parted as touches and caresses became kisses.

“Sheridan, baby, I really need more lights,” Luis asked again, turning to her. He smirked; she was miles away and he planned to take advantage of the situation. Walking to her side and then kneeling beside her, Luis took a deep breath before initiating his plan. Slowly, he leaned in and kissed her neck and ear. Sheridan tilted her head to the side to give him better access. His hand started on her knee and moved up her thigh and then towards her stomach. She moaned.

“Oh Luis…” she paused, realizing she wasn’t daydreaming anymore. Her eyes popped open and she saw him at her side, a smile of triumph on his face.

“Welcome back, baby,” he chuckled, rubbing her stomach gently.

“I was…I thought I was…I don’t know what I thought I was,” she blushed. “How long were you…” she motioned to where he sat.

“Not long, sweetheart. I tried to ask you to bring me some more lights for the tree, but you didn’t answer and when I turned to see what you were doing, you were sitting here with your eyes closed. I decided to come and enjoy the moment,” he winked.

Sheridan giggled and they both moved off of their knees and sat beside each other. Luis put his arm around her and she placed her head on his shoulder.

“So what were you thinking about? It seemed like a good thought.”

Sheridan turned crimson and buried her face in his chest. “I was dreaming of the two of us making love,” her voice was no louder than a whisper.

“Right here?”

She nodded. “With the lights of the tree as the only light in the room. You called me your Christmas present and said it was time to unwrap me.”

He laughed and pulled her body onto his lap. “It is one of my favorite activities…”

“Unwrapping me?” she giggled.

“Mmm, and then making love to you,” he kissed her forehead.

Sheridan shifted so she was straddling his lap. “We could always engage in some of your favorite activity now,” her hands started for his shirt, but Luis caught them.

“As much as I would love to, baby, we can’t. I want to get the decorations done so I can start dinner.”

Sheridan tried to give him her best pout, but the look on his face made her stop. “Luis, why can’t you just tell me where we’re going this evening?”

“Because I can’t, it would kill the surprise. Now, come on, I used the better part of the day setting up plans and choosing a tree. Let’s get this place done so I can make you our favorite.”

“Pilar’s enchiladas?” Sheridan asked excitedly.

“But of course,” he smiled.

She jumped up off of his lap. “Well, what are we waiting for?”

Laughing, Luis stood beside her and then grabbed the next set of lights. “I was waiting for you to get off my lap.”

She stuck her tongue out at him and returned to the box for the next set of lights. She hummed along with the Christmas carols on the radio while Luis continued to string the lights. Then the pair turned to the ornaments and other decorations in the box. The two of them decorated the tree with the ornaments of Sheridan’s past and together they decided where they should be placed.

When the tree was finished, Sheridan looked the tree over and smiled. “Luis, it’s perfect,” she hugged him.

“It sure is,” he kissed her cheek. “Our tree is beautiful.”

Glancing around the rest of the room, Sheridan sighed. “I think the rest of this place needs some decorating.”

“But the box is empty,” Luis pointed out.

“There has to be more decorations in the attic here at the cottage. My mother stored a lot of things here before she died, that’s how I found the ornaments when I returned here.”

“You found them here?”

Sheridan nodded. “Come on, let’s go check it out.”

Luis sighed and the two headed towards the ladder to the attic. Sheridan started to climb up before Luis and he laughed. She looked back at him, her eyes squinting as she tried to read him.

“Don’t you dare, Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald!” Sheridan paused in her climbing.

Luis grinned at her wickedly. “Don’t what?”

“You know what…”

“You mean this?” he asked as he lightly smacked her behind.

“LUIS!” she screamed, he was laughing. “You’re terrible!” She continued to climb.

“I didn’t do anything,” he shrugged and waited for her to get into the attic. He then followed her up and looked around. Even in the darkness of the attic, Luis could see the stacks of boxes and some old toys in the attic. Sheridan had made her way over to an old dollhouse and was about to move it to get at the boxes beneath it. “Were all these yours?”

Sheridan nodded. “They used to be kept in my room at the main house, but when I turned sixteen, Father called to tell me that the room had been made up for his grown-up daughter, should I ever return to Harmony. I managed to get in touch with your mother and she assured me that, while some of the toys had been given away, many were in the cottage. Some of these were my mother’s, which is probably why they had been spared.”

Luis watched as Sheridan fingered the dollhouse, a sadness in her eyes that often came when she discussed her childhood. “Come here baby.”

She looked at him and then went to his side. A tear rolled down her cheek as he took her into his arms.

“I love you, Sheridan, you know that.”

“I love you too.” She clung to him.

“Let’s find those decorations, sweetheart and then I can make you your favorite dinner.”

She looked into his eyes and grinned. “All right.” The two went to work digging through the boxes to find more decorations for the cottage.

Three hours later, the tree and the cottage were completely decorated. Some silk poinsettias, which they had found in the cottage attic, were hanging on the walls, white fur garland draped between them. Here and there, sprigs of mistletoe hung for yet another excuse to kiss each other; not that the couple needed one.

The tree was covered in white lights and an assortment of ornaments adorned the branches. Some had been Katherine’s before she wed into the Crane family; others Sheridan had purchased for her home in France. Yet the three that had meant the most to her were the ones she and Luis had bought at the store after Thanksgiving. One was a crystal ornament showing two doves on a branch. She had gone to a jeweler and had it engraved so that beneath one was ‘Sheridan’ and beneath the other was ‘Luis.’ The other two were crystal hearts that she had also taken to have their names and the year engraved onto.

Atop the tree was a beautiful angel with long curly blond hair and big blue eyes. Her dress was made of midnight blue satin with tiny faux pearls adorning the collar and the edge of the skirt. Her hands clasped one tiny white candle, its light shinning brightly. Her wings were made of white cloth with a mother of pearl look to them, which reflected the lights of the tree. Luis had placed her atop carefully, as she had been a present for Sheridan’s tree from her mother as a child. The Crane’s each had a tree in their rooms at Christmastime, and this one had been on her tree since birth; the only item not rented yearly from a decorator.

Beneath the tree was a red velvet skirt that was trimmed in white lace. It was something Sheridan had bought her first year back in Harmony. Stacked nicely atop the skirt were the perfectly wrapped packages Theresa had brought that day. Their multicolored Christmas paper, bows and ribbons looked spectacular under the shimmering white lights.

Glancing around, Sheridan smiled and hugged Luis. She actually felt the Christmas spirit this year and it made her feel complete for the first time ever. “It’s beautiful, so stunning, Luis! It actually feels like a home. It has ever since you moved in here.”

Luis slid his hand around her waist and pulled her up against his side. Leaning closer, he kissed her passionately. “One of my best assignments was being put on as your body guard, Sheridan. I am so glad we’re together. I don’t remember ever being so happy in my entire life.”

Sheridan looked into his eyes and saw the truth of the statement. “I know I was never this happy before.” She pecked his lips. “Have you checked on dinner?”

“Sheridan, I just put it in the oven, it isn’t going to be finished yet.”

“I know; I’m hungry though. I haven’t eaten since breakfast,” her hand rubbed his chest and she snuggled into his arms. “And I do have a certain promise of a surprise that is driving me insane. I can’t wait to see what you have planned.”

“We’ll, I can always finish cooking and pack it into a picnic basket and it can come with us, if you’d like to get to your surprise slightly early.”

Sheridan pondered the idea for a moment and nodded. “As long as it won’t ruin anything you have planned.”

Luis shook his head no. “But let me call the place we’re going and check with the owner, all right, baby?”

“All right,” she kissed his cheek. “But hurry, because every minute I’m not in your arms is one too long.”

He kissed her lips lightly and went into the kitchen to make the phone call. Sighing, Sheridan sat in one of the large orange chairs and looked around the room again. She absolutely loved the living room looking the way it did. Getting up, she went to turn up the volume on the radio so she could listen to the Christmas music from earlier, most of it instrumental so she could sing to it.

“Silent night…holy night…all is calm…all is bright,” she sang with her back to the kitchen door. “Round yon virgin mother and child, holy infant so tender and mi…” She gasped when hands snaked their way around her waist.

“You have such a beautiful voice, angel, I just love hearing you sing,” Luis whispered into her ear.

She rested back into his arms and placed her hands over his, which were resting on her stomach. “I’ve always loved to sing Christmas carols, even when I was away at school. It was one of the few things I knew they could never stop me from doing.”

“Sing anytime you want, my love. You’re voice takes my breath away.” His hands began to stroke her flattened belly. “The owner said she has no problem with our coming by early, as long as I bring her some of Mama’s famous enchiladas.”

“Share my dinner?” she pouted.

“Only two, Sheridan. I made an entire tray, we can spare two.”

She sighed. “Of course,” she swayed slightly.

He laughed. “I love you.”

“So you’ve said,” she teased. “Love you too, darling.”

He kissed her cheek. “Go get ready to go and I’ll get ready and by that time dinner should be ready, all right?”

“All right, I’d invite you to shower with me, but then dinner would burn.”

“And that, my love, is why I didn’t offer,” he winked. “Now go on and get showering so that I can hop in and get ready to go.”

She nodded and kissed his lips lightly. “Don’t touch those packages,” she admonished him and headed towards the bedroom.

He looked at the packages under the tree and went over to his duffle where her presents were hidden. Looking at the four in his arms, he placed the larger three beneath the tree and looked at the velvet box he held. “Not tonight,” he opened the box and glanced at the diamond ring within. “I just need to wait one week.” He closed his eyes and imagined proposing to Sheridan besides the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve, just before they left for mass. She would say yes and then he would kiss her, his fiancée. Afterwards, they would meet his family at mass and share the good news, ringing in the holiday together. Sighing, he opened his eyes, closed the box and returned it to its hiding place. He went into the kitchen and checked dinner one last time.

It took them thirty minutes, but they looked good as they headed towards town in the car, their dinner waiting patiently in the back seat. Sheridan watched the buildings to try and decide just where they were going. She noticed they were heading towards the Youth Center, but she didn’t have a clue why.

“Luis, are we going to the Youth Center?” Sheridan asked, as he turned the car down that street.

“No, baby,” he replied as he pulled up in front of the Book Café.

“Luis, if we’re going to the Book Café, we didn’t need to bring dinner.”

“Except we’re not going into the Café, baby, we’re going upstairs into the apartment above it. Beth is letting us use her apartment tonight.”

“Luis, why would we do that? We have a very nice cottage at home.”

“Because we cannot see the tree lighting from the cottage, angel.”

“The tree lighting?” Sheridan asked excitedly.

“Yea, since we can’t be in the crowd outside with everyone else, I asked Beth if we could use her apartment since it has a clear view of the lighting. When it was really cold or one of us were sick, that’s where we would watch it from. So I figured I could take you up there to see it together. Beth is going to let us use the living room for most of the evening and she has some music we can listen to and everything.”

“That’s very nice of her,” Sheridan smiled slightly.

“She’s happy for us, Sheridan. In fact, I think she’s falling in love with Hank. When I brought him up today, she got that look in her eyes that you get every time I look at you.”

“I’ll have to remember to talk to her, Luis, and see if I can get it out of her,” she winked.

He laughed and got out of the car. Walking to her side, he opened the door and helped her out. Grabbing the basket, he took her inside where they met Beth, who was behind the counter giving change to some college kids.

“Hey you two,” she smiled when they came in. “Let me take you on up. Chad, cover for me for about five, please.”

“No problem, Beth,” Chad smiled and took her place. “Hey, Miss Crane, Luis.”

“Sheridan, Chad, it’s Sheridan,” Sheridan insisted as they headed towards the doorway to the apartment. She could hear him laughing as they started up the stairs.

“So, I set up just like you asked, Luis. Mom would be so proud at how well I’m taking this,” she laughed. “But she went to Florida to visit my aunt,” she unlocked the door to the apartment and pushed it open. “Here you are.”

Sheridan stepped in first and looked around. “It’s wonderful, Beth,” she stated sincerely. It was a two bedroom flat and the door opened directly into a candle lit living room. Sheridan noticed the Victorian style furniture of the living and dinning rooms. She could see an offset kitchen through a swinging door and the hall leading back to the bedroom. The apartment was the same size as the Book Café alone and she found it very charming. Christmas decorations adorned the walls and hung from the ceiling. In the corner beside a large picture window was a giant fir tree covered in dancing rainbow lights and a collection of ornaments from over the years.

“Thanks,” Beth smiled. “Mom and Dad lived here since they bought the Café downstairs. My father died when I was just a baby, a drunk driver hit him on St. Patty’s day. Mom and I stayed here and she taught me to run the place. In any case, make yourselves at home. If you are too tired to go home tonight, you are more than welcome to use my mom’s room. There are drinks in the kitchen and Luis knows where the glasses and all are,” she watched him walk in. “Just pop my enchiladas in the fridge, Luis, I’ll warm them later.”

He nodded. “Thanks again, Beth, this means a lot.”

“No problem, anything for my friends.” She winked. “Have fun you two,” she said as she left and closed the door.

“Is the table for two with candles and wine your idea or Beth’s?” Sheridan asked as she neared the perfectly set table.

“Mine,” Luis replied joining her in the living room where the table was set up. “I came by here this morning to set up.”

She looked into his eyes. “But if we were going to eat at home…”

“I was planning to wine and dessert you here before the show. Guess I’ll wine and dine you instead,” he teased.

She removed her coat and smiled slightly. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to,” he removed his coat and started to unpack the food.

Sheridan walked to the window and looked out at the town below. Folding her arms across her chest, she leaned against the wall and watched the people setting up for the ceremony. She wondered how she could possible be so lucky to have Luis. He did so much for her and sometimes it overwhelmed her. Sheridan knew he just wanted to show her how much he loved her, but it made her feel inadequate. Sure, she had planned her share of romantic surprises over the last few months, but Luis was constantly making her feel special. She fought a sigh as she wondered if she could be the wife he wanted; she fought tears as she convinced herself she couldn’t.

“Dinner’s ready,” Luis whispered into Sheridan’s ear as he placed his hands on her waist.

“Oh, thanks,” she forced a smile and headed towards the table.

“Is…is this too much, Sheridan? I can take you home…” he picked up the basket ready to pack again.

“No! Luis, really it’s fine.”

“You just seem distant…almost depressed.”

Sheridan looked down at her lap. “I was just thinking; that’s all.”

“About?”

Sighing, she whispered, “Us.”

Luis froze. “Wha…what about us?”

Sheridan could see he was panicking and she knew she had to comfort him. “I was wondering if I could be a good wife to you. I mean, I couldn’t set something like this up unless I ordered the food…”

“Sheridan, are these doubts about your being able to be an adequate wife stemming from something else?” Luis asked, kneeling beside her. “Are you trying to tell me that you want to break off our relationship?”

“NO!” she said far too loudly. “I mean, no. Luis I don’t want to give up what we have.”

“Then why are you worried about being my wife? First, I haven’t even proposed yet and when I do, I won’t care that you can’t cook, Sheridan. I love you.”

Sheridan sighed. They had been through this many times over the last few weeks. As much as he loved her, he had yet to convince her that she would make him a good wife.

“Let’s just forget it, Luis. We came to have dinner and watch them light the tree.”

He sighed and sat across from her. “Yea,” he thought of the engagement ring at home. “Let’s forget it…”

At eight, Sheridan and Luis stood by the window, his arms wrapped around her waist, looking out at the tree that was down the street from them. Sheridan sighed and leaned back against his chest.

“Thank you for doing this, Luis. I forgot about the tree lighting.”

“No problem, Sheridan,” Luis replied, sounding distant.

Sheridan turned her head to look at him. Ever since dinner, she had noticed a change in his mood and the lack of any terms of endearment.

“Something wrong, Luis?”

“No,” he looked past her and at the tree.

“Is it something I said?”

“No,” he continued not to look at her.

Sheridan turned in his arms and kissed him hard. He slowly relaxed into the kiss and pulled her closer to him, their tongues dueling. When they pulled away, it was only due to the need for air.

“Wow,” Luis whispered, his face just an inch from hers.

“Wow is right,” she smiled. “Don’t you ever doubt my love again.”

He chuckled. “I wasn’t doubting your love, Sheridan, I was just wondering if maybe this is all there would ever be. Just you and me in a world of dating forever…”

“Why?”

“Because you seem ready to turn down any proposals.”

“Luis, I never said I would turn you down.”

“Just hinted at it,” he grumbled. Checking the clock, he added. “Turn around, the lighting is beginning.”

“No, Luis, you’re doubting me.”

“I’m not doubting you, Sheridan. I promise,” he turned her gently. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” she replied softly. “Love you too,” she mouthed again. The two stood there, their arms wrapped around each other as they watched the tree lighting from their place in Beth’s apartment.

Christmas Eve dawned cold and cloudy, the perfect conditions for snowfall on the day before Christmas. Sheridan awoke with her head on Luis’ chest and his strong arms wrapped around her body. No matter how many times she woke up in this man’s arms, Sheridan knew she would never ever grow tired of it. She felt his rough hand gently rub her arm and tilted her head to kiss his chest.

“Morning, sweetheart,” Luis looked down at her and smiled.

“Morning, darling,” she kissed his chest again.

“Do we have to get up?”

Sheridan just shook her head in reply.

He laughed. “It’s so comfortable here in bed…with you,” Luis relaxed against the headboard. “But we should probably get up, have a nice breakfast, settle in the living room listening to Christmas carols and drinking hot cocoa until it’s time for the dinner we’ll cook together.”

“Then relax a little before midnight mass with the family,” Sheridan looked up at Luis. “Or, we can make love, get up eat, return to bed and make love again, take a shower, grab a small lunch, listen to that music you mentioned while drinking some tea, coffee or cocoa and then make dinner together before lounging around some more and then rushing off to mass.”

“In the mood for some love making, Miss Crane?”

“Definitely, Officer Lopez-Fitzgerald,” Sheridan purred from beside him. She leaned over him, her nude body rubbing up against his. “Unless last night wore you out.”

“Nope, I think I have some energy…” he reached out and traced her body.

“Good,” she smirked and leaned in to kiss him. He rolled them over and began yet another session of their very passionate lovemaking.

The pair stumbled into the shower together after one and then dug out something small to munch on as they planned dinner. Sheridan looked through the fridge and sighed. “We can make the fish you’re mother brought over last night.”

“Ok, we’ll make that and some broccoli for dinner, how’s that?”

“Fine. I’ll call over to the main house and have someone bring down a bottle of wine.”

“No need, I still have the one we opened at Beth’s.”

“Ok,” she smiled and took out something to make them each a sandwich. “We don’t need to make dinner until we’re just about ready to eat, right?”

“Right.”

“And what time will we eat?” Sheridan asked, looking at the clock.

“Six?”

“So then, do you want to watch a movie or listen to some music?”

“Movie, definitely. Let’s have a movie fest until dinner.”

“All right,” Sheridan smiled. They made their lunch and headed into the living room. Sheridan pulled out the DVDs she had. “Which ones?”

“Miracle on 34th Street first, then

A Christmas Carol, and last The Santa Clause.”

“I’d rather watch It’s a Wonderful Life instead of The Santa Clause.”

“Whatever,” he chuckled. “Just put one in.”

“All right,” she blew him a kiss and popped a DVD into the player. “Room for me over there?” she motioned to where he sat.

He opened his arms to her. “Come on, baby, there’s room here.”

She walked over and settled onto his lap. “Mm, perfect.”

“Good,” he chuckled and they settled into watching the movies.

Dinner was eaten at eight that night and by eleven-thirty, Luis decided it was time to pull his surprise. He popped Theresa’s BackStreet Boys CD into Sheridan’s stereo and called her into the living room. She was dressed in a red silk dress that went to the floor and had a matching velvet jacket. Pinned to it was a Christmas wreath pin from his mother.

“What is it, hun?” she asked, coming out of her room.

“Come here,” he motioned to a chair in front of the tree. “Have a seat.”

She looked him over, his black pants were fitted to his muscled legs. He wore a green sweater that was so tight she could see the muscles of his chest and stomach. She gulped; he was a knock out.

He smiled at her and then it faded. Nervously, he hit the play button and the music softly filled the air.

“So, I decided that I would get you out here before mass and play this song for you while you listened to the words,” he watched her, she had been listening and she knew what was coming. Her expression was unreadable and that worried him.

“Sheridan, I can’t see my life without you in it. I love you so much and that love just grows every single day,” dropping to one knee in front of her, Luis opened the box with the engagement ring in it. “For Christmas, I want only one thing: you. Sheridan Crane, I would be the happiest man in the world if you would do me the honor of being my bride.”

She didn’t answer.

“Just say the word, Sheridan. I’ll be a good husband to you…a good father to our children,” he was pouring his heart out. “I’ve loved you since I met you, Sheridan, and I don’t want to be just your boyfriend for another day. Marry me, please.” He removed the ring from the box and started to slide it on her finger. “What do you say?”

“No,” she whispered as the CD shut off.

“N…no?” he pulled back.

“I won’t marry you,” she forced out.

Luis stood and put the ring back in the box. “You…you won’t…”

“I can’t, Luis.”

Luis fought the tears that threatened to spill and nodded silently. “I see,” he walked away and headed for the door. “I’ll be in the car, Sheridan. Hurry, we don’t want to be late for mass.”

“Luis? Please let me explain…”

He put up his hand to silence her. “Don’t. Starting right now I seriously don’t care about explanations, Sheridan. In fact, I don’t care about anything anymore. Starting tonight, we’re over.”

“LUIS!” Sheridan jumped up. “NO!”

“We’re over, Sheridan, over. I loved you…I put myself out on a limb to confess that love to you and I asked you to be my bride,” tears started rolling down his cheeks. “You said no,” the pain was completely evident in his voice. “You said no to me…and as much as I want to know why, I can’t handle it. So,” he tried to become stronger, but Sheridan could see through the farce. “I really don’t want to know why you don’t want to marry me and I don’t want to ask again. Sheridan, as of right now, we are just together because of my job. Once this job is over, we are nothing to each other.”

With that said, Luis walked out the door and towards his car. Sheridan sank back into her chair stunned. “What have I done?” she asked herself looking at the door. “What have I done?”

The car ride to mass was deathly silent, not even the radio was playing. Luis hadn’t even looked at Sheridan since she climbed into the car and she realized he had truly meant what he said. As they drove along, Sheridan decided she had to try something.

“Luis, please talk to me…”

“What for, Miss Crane?” Luis asked painfully.

“Please…please don’t do this,” she sniffled. “Please.”

“I’m not sure what you want from me. I’m only your bodyguard.”

“But I love you…”

“You’re wasting your time…”

“Luis please,” she was crying heavily now.

He pulled the car over to the side of the road. As much as he was trying to hide it, he still loved her too and her tears were killing him inside. “Sheridan, I’m sorry,” he touched her arm. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

She just looked down into her lap. “I just can’t be your wife, Luis, I can’t because I don’t know how to be a good one to you.”

“Sheridan, I don’t care about that…”

“You say that now. What happens when we have children that we need to take care of?”

“You’ll learn, Sheridan. I know with your determination you can do anything.”

“I just don’t want to ruin the rest of your life, Luis.”

He sighed. “It doesn’t matter, Sheridan, now does it?” He looked away from her. “It has been a really nice few months, Sheridan, and I really enjoyed it. I…I just can’t spend the rest of my life dating you. I want to settle down, Sheridan. I want to have a family. I…I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, getting old, watching our children grow up and get married and start families of their own.” He was on the verge of tears, but refused to cry again. “Maybe I just assumed you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me…but forget about it, Sheridan. You’ll find someone who can keep you in the lifestyle you’re used to and you won’t have to worry about cooking and cleaning.”

“But I don’t want someone else…”

“But I can’t give you what you want…” he started the car again. “I…I’m going to be moving my stuff back into the living room.”

“Luis, please no…”

“And I’m going to ask Sam to take me off of your case. I can no longer be objective.”

“No, Luis, no,” she was sobbing.

“I’m sorry, Sheridan. I’m sorry it turned out this way.”

“Can…can’t we just try to get past this? Maybe if I can learn some more we can get married then…”

“I don’t know.”

“Please, Luis, please…I can’t live without you.”

He looked over at her and his heart felt like it was being torn in two. Luis knew he still wanted to be with her, but he wanted to marry her. Sighing, he decided that his need to be with her far outweighed his want to marry her. He couldn’t live without her in his life…no matter what part she played in it.

“I can’t be without you either,” Luis took her hand. “And as much as I want to marry you, I can’t bare to never be with you. So…we’ll slow things down.”

“Slow things down?”

He nodded. “I’ll go back to sleeping on the couch in the living room. We’ll just go back to dating and enjoying each other’s company. When you’re ready to get married, you can let me know and we’ll try that whole proposal thing again. No pressure…no second thoughts.”

“No love making?”

“I think it would be a bad idea.”

Sheridan sighed. “So we just turn back the clocks? We just ignore the last few months?”

“It’s what’s best for both of us, Sheridan,” he pulled the car off the side of the road. “It gives us both time to deal with what happened tonight.”

“You mean my turning down your marriage proposal?”

“Yes,” Luis pulled into the church parking lot and parked the car. “Let’s just forget what happened. Only Mama knew I was planning on proposing tonight. If we don’t announce it, she’ll know either I didn’t ask or you turned me down.”

Sheridan put her hand on his arm. “What if I change my mind tonight?”

He looked into her eyes. “Do you mean that you’ve decided to marry me?”

“I would like some time to think about it…”

“Then you just tell me and I’ll try that proposing thing again.”

“But until then…”

“Until then we’re turning back the clocks,” he climbed out of the car and walked to her side to help her out. When he went to walk away, she grabbed his hand. Luis pulled his hand away.

“We’re late,” he said walking inside.

Sheridan fought a sniffle and followed Luis inside, her head hanging in sadness. They still had ten minutes before mass began and Luis started to head to where his sister, brother and mother sat. It was then he noticed Ethan kneeling in front of Theresa.

“Theresa, I want you to be my bride…marry me?”

Luis felt like the room was spinning. Not only was a *Crane* proposing to his sister, but she was nodding in acceptance. He started to back up when he noticed Sheridan slightly smiling at the pair.

“You knew?” he asked her.

“I…I…”

“You knew about them?” he was getting angry.

“Yes, Luis, I knew.”

He couldn’t believe she knew and didn’t tell him. She had lied every time the subject came up! “You’re no better than the rest of that damn family…you’re a Crane through and through! I’m glad you didn’t accept my proposal!” Luis was fuming. He wasn’t sure what to act on first, the rage from Sheridan knowing about Ethan and Theresa’s relationship, the hurt from having his little sister accept a proposal and not Sheridan, or the fact that a *Crane* was going to marry his sister. “I’ve got to get out of here…”

“Luis,” Sheridan grabbed his arm, but he pushed her off and she fell to the ground. Without even a look back at her, Luis dropped her car keys and stormed off into the cold night air.

“Luis,” she whimpered from the ground. Pilar, who had witnessed the whole thing, rushed to Sheridan’s side and helped her up. The younger woman hugged the woman she considered a second mother and cried. “Luis,” she continued to cry out.

“Shhh, he’ll come back, Sheridan.”

“My Luis,” she cried.

Beth entered the church and saw Sheridan crying. She came over and placed a hand on the blonde’s shoulder. “Sheridan?”

“I turned him down…I told him no…and then Ethan and Theresa,” she was crying hysterically.

“Come here,” Beth hugged Sheridan while Pilar patted the woman’s back.

“Luis…I want Luis.”

“He’ll come back, Sheridan,” Beth promised. “He loves you…”

“He told me I was a typical Crane,” she cried. Her knees started to give and she started to fall. Sam Bennett, who had been listening nearby, caught her.

“Careful, Sheridan,” he helped her sit. “You need to calm down.”

“I can’t calm down!” she screamed.

“Where’s Luis?” Beth asked, looking around.

“He left,” Sheridan tried to calm down enough to at least talk. She looked up sadly. “I turned down his proposal. I didn’t think I’d be a good enough wife to him.”

“And then he saw Ethan propose…didn’t he?” Pilar asked.

Sheridan nodded.

“Dios mio,” Pilar shook her head. “And he left all upset?”

Sheridan nodded again. “Pilar, I do love him!”

“We know,” everyone around her replied. She smiled slightly. “Do you think he’ll come back? Do you think he still loves me?”

“Oh please, Sheridan, I haven’t seen Luis love anyone like that ever,” Theresa joined the group.

“I agree,” Sam and Pilar nodded.

“He still loves you and he’ll be back,” Beth replied. “Look, why don’t we just sit for mass and if he isn’t back when it is over, I’ll personally take you back to the cottage and we’ll wait for him together.”

“Thank you, Beth,” Sheridan looked down at her hand and spotted the ring from Luis. The rubies twinkled in the lights of the church. Her eyes began to blur with tears again and she begged God to bring her Luis back to her.

Luis walked quickly away from the church, not caring where he was heading as long as it was as far away from the people there as possible. His mind was racing with information and he couldn’t seem to get it to slow down at all. First and foremost on his mind was Sheridan, not that she would ever be second to any other thought. However, it wasn’t just Sheridan on his mind: it was fear that she wasn’t ok, pain over the secrets she kept, anger, love, confusion, regret and lastly, the words “I can’t” continued to dance in his mind. She had refused his proposal. Even though he tried to prove his love over and over again, she still couldn’t and wouldn’t love him back enough to push that fear and doubt aside. Sheridan wouldn’t marry him.

Besides Sheridan, there was still Theresa’s engagement to Ethan on his mind. Theresa was going to marry a Crane! “Over my dead body,” he grumbled and kicked at a rock on the ground. Not only was Theresa engaged to Ethan Crane, but also she had been lying to Luis for weeks…months even! His own mother had been keeping this from him! Did he mean nothing to his family anymore?

Looking around, Luis found himself at the wharf. “Great, just the place I needed to be,” he growled, falling into a nearby bench. As he sat there reflecting on the evening, he didn’t notice the cold wind start up or the clouds that were rolling in. He had forgotten that they were expected to get snow and icy rain and even as the first drops fell, Luis didn’t budge. Instead, he sat there staring at the dark ocean waves, his eyes slowly blurring as tears filled them. In one night, he had lost everything that meant anything to him. His family had betrayed him and Sheridan had denied him. As the icy raindrops mixed with the occasional snowflake continued to fall, Luis allowed all the pain and anger rush out and he sat on the bench crying. He barely heard the church bells in the distance ring at midnight, telling the world that it was Christmas morning.

Mass ended at one AM and everyone in the church decided to wait and see if Luis showed. Sam looked out the window and noticed the sparkle of the frozen water on the ground. Opening a nearby door, he saw that the rain and snow were still falling.

“Sam, if Luis is still out in this weather…” Pilar’s voice faded off from beside him.

“He’s a strong man, Pilar…” Even Sam worried about Luis’ condition in this weather.

Sheridan joined them. “He could get sick! What if he gets sick? Or worse? What if he is trying to get back here and falls on the ice or a car loses control and…” Sheridan started to hyperventilate at the thought of Luis being hurt somewhere with no one to help him.

Beth rushed to Sheridan and placed an arm around her. “Sheridan, Luis will be fine. Look, Luis isn’t going to come back to the church. If and when he decides he’s coming back to deal with this, you know he will start either at his house or the cottage. It’s useless to wait here for him when he won’t come back here. Luis isn’t into public confrontations.”

“Beth’s right,” Theresa agree, slipping her arm around Ethan’s waist. “Luis doesn’t like to have his dirty laundry aired in front of others. He’s going to want to talk to Mama and myself or Sheridan and he’s certainly not going to do it with an audience around. I think it’s best if we all go home and keep in touch if we hear anything.” She smiled at her fiancé and he returned the smile.

“I’m going home with mother and father, Sheridan, would you like a lift back to the cottage?” he asked his aunt.

Sheridan shook her head no. “I think I might just wait here a while and then take my car home. I’m not much in the mood for company,” she said pointedly and left Beth’s embrace. “In fact, I’d walk if I knew Luis wouldn’t kill me when he found out about it…”

Everyone tried to hide their discomfort over the topic and agreed that going home was the best option. Sheridan watched as they all left, yet she remained there. The thought of Luis hurt was still bothering her and she couldn’t bear to go back to the empty cottage. She sniffled and leaned against the doorframe of the church. If anything happened to Luis, she would never forgive herself. The more she thought about losing him, the less she cared if the hitman was out there ready to take a shot at her now. She almost wished he would, perhaps it would make the pain of losing Luis go away.

Sighing, Sheridan walked to her car and climbed in. Starting it up, she decided she had one place to go before she went home. If she knew Luis well enough, she knew where he was: the wharf.

It didn’t take long to drive from St. Mary’s to the wharf, even with the icy conditions outside. Stepping out of her cherry red convertible, Sheridan glanced around the area for any sign of life. She found it, sitting on a bench with his head in his hands and his shoulders shaking with sobs. Sheridan did the only thing she could; she ran to him. She ran so fast to his side that she almost slid on the ice.

“Luis!” she exclaimed slightly out of breath as she knelt at his feet.

He looked at her, his red-rimmed eyes still filled with unshed tears. “Sheridan?”

“Oh sweetheart,” she stood and wrapped her arms around him. She could feel his sobs against her stomach. “Please don’t cry, Luis.”

Luis couldn’t seem to get one feeling for Sheridan to become the most prominent in his mind. His love and need for her kept him in her arms; his anger kept him from talking.

Sheridan ran her fingers through his unruly hair. “Luis, I wanted to tell you about Theresa and Ethan when I found out. They begged me not to, Luis. They wanted to give a relationship a chance before they had to deal with your rage and hate for my nephew. Luis, he is a good man and Theresa loves him just as much as I love you. Please don’t hold his name against him…or me.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered against her body.

“Sorry?”

“For saying you were just like the rest of them. You aren’t, Sheridan, and you never could be.”

Sheridan smiled slightly. “I forgot you said that,” she teased.

He looked up and smiled slightly. “I really am sorry I said that, Sheridan,” he pulled her into his lap. “I still love you.”

“I love you too,” she rested her head on his shoulder. “Luis, Theresa loves Ethan and I’ve never seen him love someone else more than he loves her in return. Don’t try to separate them. They are going to have to go up against the Crane family as it is. Don’t you think we should at least be there to support them?”

Luis looked into her eyes and sighed. “She really loves him?”

Sheridan nodded.

“And he truly loves her?”

Again she nodded.

“All right, I’ll give them a break, Sheridan, though I sure as hell don’t want to. I’ve always wanted my sister to be happy and cared for, I guess Ethan is making her happy and I know he certainly can care for her the way she deserves.” He sighed again. “I’ll see how this goes.”

Sheridan kissed his cheek. “That’s all I’m asking, Luis. Ethan does have his fair share of grudges to work through. I know he does have a bit of a Crane attitude, but I think Theresa is bringing out the better side of him. We’ll get him over his stuffy attitude, just like you got it out of me.”

He nodded. “We need to go back to the cottage…it’s late and you’re unsafe out here.”

“I refuse to move from this spot until we can work past our problems, Luis. I don’t want to give up a relationship with you just because I am afraid to get married right now.”

“But this proposal would have lasted until you were ready, Sheridan. I just…you turned me down and I can’t find a single way to get you to trust that I want you.”

“I’m not sure there is a way, Luis. As much as I love you, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to take care of you,” her eyes started to tear. “But I know I can’t be without you, Luis.”

“Ditto,” he kissed her lips lightly. “I still think we need to slow it down a little, Sheridan. In case we decide to never get married.”

“Who said never!?” Sheridan jumped off his lap.

“I just…” Damn why did he love her so much? “Sheridan, tell me the truth. It’s not just that you’re worried about the kind of wife you’ll be, is it?”

“What do you mean?” she looked him in the eyes.

“You don’t really want to give up being a Crane…you don’t want to become the wife of a cop.”

“Luis! How dare you ask that!” She was enraged. “I LOVE you! I would give up every damn cent in the Crane bank accounts for just one night in your arms,” her rage turned to tears. “I would give up everything I have for just one single kiss from you.”

“Then why the hell won’t you marry me!?”

“Because I don’t want to be the biggest mistake of your life…”

“What?”

“If you married me, Luis, you know you would never be happy. Between my family and your hate for it, the wonder surrounding your father’s disappearance and my lack of domestic skills, you know deep down inside that you’d be miserable.”

“I want to take that chance, Sheridan. I want to marry you.”

“Then give me some time to deal with the future…”

He nodded. “I’m not giving up.”

“I’m not asking you to. I’m asking for time.”

“You got it,” he smiled slightly. “Let’s go home.”

Chapter Six