During Wood Hippo’s quick but earth shaking two year career, Jared and ‘Tits bgean practicing with a fellow Jr. High classmate named Ben, and the three then began to call themselves the Inbreds. Their shows during this period were limited to appearances at their school, where they would call themselves the “Nirvanabees” and play terrible renditions of Nirvana songs (as a joke), as well as Inbreds songs. The three had a rocky relationship, due to the vicious and heated climate of Jr. High popularity circles. The real shit hit the fan when Tits threw the contents of a little plastic cup of Jell-o at Ben during lunch at school. Ben was no longer in the band.
At the next Nirvanabees performance, the two arranged to have a nother classmate, Paul, play drums. After an awful Nirvana cover, Paul left the stage, refusing the go on and play with them the Buster song “Shot him in the penis.” They called out for a substitute
drummer, and immediately a hand went up from a boy named Pete. The trio was set; here was the Inbreds. After playing around Boston for about half a year, the group picked up a second guitar player. This was the man that they then called “Herpes” (who eventually illegally changed his name to “Trash”). Herpes was a regular stud-machine. The rest of the band was fiercely jealous. He was also chronically late for practice. The group developed a culture of kicking him in the nuts. Eventually the band changed its name to the McVeighs.
The band recorded many times between then and 1999, when they broke up for the second time, finally terminating for good (maybe). Jared had left the group and Lisa had taken his place as bassist, Pete had left and been replaced with Jeremy. They had released a CD—“Tear the Cities Down” and recorded material for another one. In 1997, Mr ‘Tits joined together with the members from Agree to Differ (ex-Freeeks) to form the not-a-metal-band “Castrati. “ Bill, John, Jeremy and ‘Tits recorded a number of times, and still discuss the possibility of releasing the tracks. Oh, and yes, it was the same Jeremy.
In the summer of 1999, the tits hit the man. Perhaps it was news of Kosovo, perhaps it was the termination of his relationship with McVeighs bassist Lisa, perhaps it was too much living in Malden, MA, perhaps it was just a light waiting to hit him in the big ol’ butt. Either way, ‘Tits began playing his particular brand of acoustic music for the first time. Soon after, he left Boston, the McVeighs and Castrati. He ended up in Plainfield, VT at Goddard College, where he began cultivating his now world-historical following. It was there that he recorded his first album, under the engineering of Tom Demers. He briefly played in a band called the Cunt-Trees who had one original song: “I’m Vegan and I’m sXe but I Fuck Fuck Fuck.” He eventually breifly played as part of the back-up band for Lammy (Lammy eventually disbanded, and the one who called himself Lammy turned into the now infamous JerkOff JackOff Frigface).
A couple of times, the two played “Electric Mantits” for groups of drunk friends who would applaud by knocking over refrigerators and puking on the floor. It became evident that the two would form a punk band. Before they got a chance, Lammy and Crumpet began hitting each other with a shovel, throwing beer cans at guitars, and calling themselves “Vomit Dichotomy.” The group expanded, and Mantits joined in the process.
VD toured as Crumpet, Lammy, Mantits, Abby and Leah in the summer of 2002, after the compilation Yer Mom Eats Too Much Lunch came out on VD Records. The band eventually recorded their first full—length release “Big Fucking Faggot blowjob induced faggot handjob faggot bear homo faggot” and continued to play at Common Ground in Brattleboro, VT. In the summer of 2003, Mantits recorded his second album “The Pursuit of Happiness,” moved to Brooklyn, and began playing open mics, hoping for international stardom. After being unable to find a job and deciding that the only venue worth anything in NYC was the Bowery Poetry Club, he gave up on New York stardom and moved back to VT. Now he lives in Brattleboro.
If you have read all of this, you probably have a lot of time to waste, and no friends around to waste it with. Instead of calling someone or going for a walk, you could always just sit on your big ol' butt and play solitaire! Go ahead! C'mon!