MANTITS Merchandi$e!

MANTITS has CDs for sale, as well as tshirts, wifebeaters and patches. New release = Quit While You're Ahead CD ($5). For shipping add $2 a cd (if you order multiple copies of the same cd add $2 shipping for the first cd and .50 shipping for each duplicate). All orders ship regular first class except when the cost of shipping priority is roughly equivalent (that gets decided on this end). If you want patches and/or shirts, make sure to ask before ordering (write pretendyourehappy@gmail.com), as they may be out of stock. You can order using paypal through this site using the nifty carty buttons below.

Or just play with this rat maze thing. Or do both. Holy Batman!

CD Releases

MANTITS quit while you're ahead

($5)

MANTITS (s/t)

($5)
1). If today
2). The archetypal male slut
3). Let me fuckin die
4). You're the one with the problem
5). Chum is a dunderfuck
6). My check
7). This is transient
8). Somehow this is sanity
9). I read obscure anarchist propaganda (that is virtually impossible to understand)
10. Don't you tell me that your wife died
11). Fun n' blowjobs
12). Everyone's a liar and everybody leaves
13). Take my rod
14). If I wasn't me
15). The postmodern implications of behaviorism
16). That's why I fucking hate them all
17). You're not foolin me
18). As long as you stay quiet (on your leash)
19). All hail my dingy
20). Just be thankful you're not dead
21). Uterus of hate
22). Kill yourself today
23). I am the walrus-fucker
24). The best time of our lives
25). The most modest person I know
26). What if you really are happy?
27). I got mine
28). Keep on running
29). Flat Chester
30). Fire and earth
31). I'm Sane
32). We're just a bunch of multi-pronged weird-ass things
The first Mantits CD on Pretend You're Happy, recorded/engineered/mastered by Tom Demers. There's a wide range of song styles on this one (relatively speaking, of course). Let Me Fuckin Die, This is Transient, Fun N' Blowjobs, and Just Be Thankful You're Not Dead are definitive Mantitsian anthems of social disgust and orthodox twisted logic. This is the definitive recording of early Mantits.
"Mantits Self-Titled CD: Holy shit! This CD kicks ass! Lo-Fi acoustic humor at it’s best. Not only are the songs clever, but they’re well written as well. Great melodies. If you’re into Wally Pleasent, you’ll love this." (from Fresno City Hardcore)
"Mantits: Self-Titled. Outside: plastic sleeve, black and white illustration of nuclear explosion, 32 song titles like "Let Me Fuckin' Die," "Uterus of Hate," "That's Why I Fucking Hate Them All." Inside: no information about who is responsible, where to get the record, anything at all. On the CD-R: Acoustic guitar, passable vocals (occasionally in annoying silly voices), "whimsical" lyrics sung with no subtlety ("someday I'll have a six pack / and you can wash your clothes on my gut / someday I'll have a six pack / the archetypal male slut"), no creativity, and no fun. For about an HOUR. Kill me or kill him, but this cannot continue." (by Josh D of ACTION MAN Magazine)

MANTITS: the Pursuit of Happiness

($5)
1). Ballad of the monkeys
2). Box away from the world
3). Stranded
4). Running from the silence
5). Everything
6). Poisoned and alone
7). Fuckhead in the phonebooth
8). Love ain't real
9). Black empty holes
10). Nothing
11). All the dogshit
The second Mantits CD on Pretend You're Happy, now available through Spare Change Records, recorded at Graycliff, mastered at Alterscheist. For those who were into the slower, more depressing-euphoric songs from the first CD like Uterus of Hate and You're the One with the Problem, these are the Mantits for you. The album is shorter, and the song order makes more of a unified whole than the first, with more melody and less brutal sardonic humor. Note: the moral of the story of the album, much like all Mantits, is ultimately meant to be hopeful and inspiring; there is a reason All the Dogshit is the final track, and it's not so that people will turn off the CD sobbing before they make it there...duh!!!

Clothing

Tshirts & Wifebeaters

($5)
Left is front, right is small design on back. All shirts white cotton. Tshirt sizes S, M, L, XL, Wifebeater sizes S, M, L.

Underwear

($3)
Left is front, right is back. Size is 32 men's. Out of stock. Only 7 pairs in existence! Super-duper collector's item dream supreme!

Patches

($1)