mordenutils
---- Crediting notice... Please credit the Morden utilities piece
to solune@netaxs ---- >Path:
vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!news.uoregon.edu!usenet.eel.ufl.edu!gatech!newsxfer.itd.umich.edu!caen!msunews!netnews.upenn.edu!netaxs.com!usenet
>From: solune@netaxs.com >Newsgroups:
rec.arts.sf.tv.babylon5 >Subject: ANNOUNCEMENT: Morden
Utilities for People (humour) >Date: 14 Jul 1995 01:42:44 GMT
>Organization: Net Access - Philadelphia's Internet Connection
>Lines: 154 >Message-ID: <3u4i2k$88p@netaxs.com>
>Reply-To: solune@netaxs.com >NNTP-Posting-Host:
slip-737.netaxs.com >X-Newsreader: IBM NewsReader/2 v1.09
Announcement: Adumbrare Software Solutions(tm) announces the
Latest release of the Morden Utilities for People(tm). Although
millenia old, Adumbrare Software Solutions(tm) has never settled
for less in it's software - or wetware - development, and the
latest release of the Morden Utilities(tm) is no exception. Built
from the ground up using the latest in their patented OLDE(tm)
technololgy (ominous, licentious double entendre), Morden
utilities is able to give the POWER USER more flexibility in the
way they control other's lives. Included in this incredible
package is: Super Wipe: Completely eliminates memories from
others, unlike the "Delenn" program World Wipe:
decimates entire civilizations without hesitation - unlike the
"Grey Council" program which has been known to lock-up
at the last minute. Spy: a Rim Event monitor that alerts you to
any rim trespassers. Kill: A rim event process killer (works with
Spy) Beep: pseudo-nanotech that will keep your opposition guessing
and the ever popular De-Frag: will undo those moments of
indiscretion so that you may continue unburdened by annoying
"cute" children! Plus much much more! The Morden
Utilities(tm) comes with it's A.S.S.'s own Dynamic Incident
Executer(tm) (DIE) to create situtions on the fly that benefit you
and your kind. No more "if only I had the firepower (disease,
misinformation, mind-control, organic tech, etc.) to dispose of
those agrarians!" DIE will do it all for you, no questions,
no hesitations, just results. Plus the interface seamlessly
integrates with your enviroment, enabling availability and
discretion The compleat Morden Utilites for People is a *MUST
HAVE* for all aspiring leaders, and can lead to domination of the
Galaxy. What's more, is the Price is Right: Free! (see below) Yes,
that's right, Free. Just download the utilities from the internet,
and try them out. If you don't like them, let us know - we'll get
back to you. Adumbrare Software Solutions: What do you want
today!(tm)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------- Terms for free
software: User *must* fill out registration and return to A.S.S.
For you Convienience the form is included in this document. Yes!,
I want the Morden Utilities for People(tm) Here is my
Registration: What do you want?:
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
______________________________ That's it! (wasn't that easy!)
Unlike our competitors, our advanced Registration Wizard(tm)
doesn't require you to spend time filling in forms - We know where
you are, and will contact you! Thanks for using A.S.S. software!
What do you want today?(tm)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------- Ask your retailer
about these other great A.S.S. titles: Shadow Boxing III boxing
simulator Infection: an arcade type action game game; try to beat
the killer before he destroys the station! Psi-corp.: a
"backroom deals" sim-strategy game. Mars Colony: Build a
colony on Mars - but be careful your domes don't fall prey to
"Shadows" Psi-corp or rebellion. Galactic civilizations:
Need we say more? Markab Lab: beat the clock to save your
civilization and learn about genetics at the same time! The
Gathering: Find out who the killer is in the multi-media crystal
recording mystery. A.S.S. Anti-virus package: Computer Weekly
rates this package as "The oxymoron of the year!"
Spell-Write: the ONLY spell-checker/dictionary/thesaurus that
correctly spells "Stracynski" Windows 95 (when it ships)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------- Adumbrare Software
Solutions is a registered trademark of Adumbrate Corporation.
Delenn and Grey Council is a registered trademark of Minbari and
Associates Inc. All other names are trademarks of their respective
owners.
==============================================================
DISCLAIMER: The above "announcement" is humour, and IN
NO WAY is indicitive of the direction of the series "Babylon
5." Any possible story ideas, either real or ficticious, are
hereby relinquished to J. Micheal Stracynski and Babylonian
Productions. Now, where are those Narns?
Pete Back
Home
| Websites | Music
| Scifi | Jokes
| Links
|
