A sailor met a pirate in a bar. The pirate had a peg leg, a hook and an eye patch. 
"How did you end up with a peg leg?" the sailor asked. 
"I was swept overboard in a storm," the pirate said. "A shark bit off me whole leg."
"What about the hook?" the sailor asked.
"We were boarding an enemy ship," the pirate said. "The other seamen had swords. One of them
cut me hand clean off."
"Incredible!" the sailor said. "And the eye patch?"
"A seagull dropping fell in me eye," the pirate said.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked.
"No, mate," the pirate said. "It was me first day with the hook."