2313-33

"Come on guys," Lou sighed for the nineteenth time in just ten minutes as she watched Ike and Kid ready themselves for the trip. They were being incredibly slow, both of them. She groaned as Kid moved uneasily in his new HuRec uniform, grimacing as he did. Lou knew he felt uncomfortable in the official outfit.

Ike made a 'hold on' sign while he looked once again at the picture of himself mirrored in the glass door. He raked a hand through his hair and nodded that he was ready.

"Finally," Lou grunted and took Kid's hand, "God how I hate waiting for you guys to get ready."

Kid laughed from behind her. "Lou, he's not seen Emily for five months, he's gotta be prim and proper."

Lou chuckled;"well I can understand him, my question is why you are set on priming yourself? Anything I should know?" With a smile she glanced at him walking half a step behind her, clearly unwilling. Lou knew he dreaded the trip, even if it was just for twenty-four hours, Kid seemed to feel like being trapped. Probably missed his mare already.

"Lou, it's your burgh we're going to. What if there are people you know there at the seminar. You don't wanna be seen with a shaggy vet do ya?"

"And what about when we finally meet?" Kid asked softly, "don't you think I should at least look presentable?"

Pushing him into a seat she looked sternly at him, trying to avoid the hound dog eyes asking why. Seating herself besides him she shook her head in a silent 'no'. His hand moved on her thigh, just above her knee. Tthe touch so intimate, increasing her guilt.

"Please Kid," she whispered, "not now. We are representing HuRec, no touching, no holding hands, remember? I told you my mother's gotta be prepared, gradually. I'll tell her we're dating, later, when you've met." Looking at him she begged for him to understand, not to ask what she was unwilling to give. "I know my mother Kid, she's real suspicious about men, and my boyfriend, please. I don't wanna give her a heart attack just like that!"

"Reminds me of someone I know," Kid smiled sadly at her, "I'll be on my best behavior, I promise. You won't even have to bring a doggy bag along."

"Kid," Lou groaned demonstratively, "it's not you, it's her! Just friends alright? I know what I'm doing."

"All right Lou." Withdrawing his hand he leaned back to rest up against the wall, still watching her. "But can I at least take a colleague out for a drink afterwards?"

He laughed softly at her and placed the EA behind his ear coupling it to the memo-slots. Lou positioned herself so that her elbow was sure to touch his on the armrest. Then she closed her eyes and went through the speech in her mind once more.

She held her breath for a while when she entered the large auditorium, there were literally hundreds of people sitting there, clapping their hands as they walked in. She remembered how she had been sitting in a similar auditorium herself, four years ago, hanging onto every word of the HuRec's Team One members tales. She couldn't believe how far she had come in these years. As they walked up to the podium she glanced back at the two men following her. Kid looking embarrassed, shying away from the ovations, Ike ogling the public, searching for Emily. Then his eyes lit up and he waved his hands at someone in the crowd. Lou figured he forgot all about where he really was at that instance. The smile was like plastered to his face. His eyes glued to the spot among all the people while he walked behind them. Lou thought he'd trip on the stairs but he managed them skillfully.

The woman waiting for them on the podium seemed familiar, but Lou couldn't quite place her. Not until she shook hands with Kid and smiled at him. Samantha, Lou thought, wonder if he ever called her? Seating herself at Kid's side behind the table she felt her nerves finally calm down, she'd do her best and she knew her stuff. It was a question of an hour, then they'd have all day to explore the sites, she was looking forward to showing Kid the cupola in which she grew up.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let me present the ME and microbiologist of team 41, Louise McCloud. She's going to tell you how it works outside. So listen up all you wanna-be HuRec's, now's your chance to find out if you're in it for the myths or for the real thing."

Lou flicked the first picture onto the wall, a huge conglomeration of anthrax bacteria."This is just the beginning," Lou said as the crowd silenced. All the eyes were directed to her and she smiled, she was actually enjoying this.

Relieved from a job well done Lou stayed close to Kid as they walked into the area with the refreshments, the two hours on the podium had made her starved. She relied on Kid to push his way to the tables loaded with food.

"It's all artificial you know," Kid laughed at her hurry when she poked his back to have him advance faster, "won't be like back home."

"I'd eat anything right now, I swear," Lou laughed, "think I forgot to eat yesterday."

"Yep," Kid nodded as he made way for them both, mumbling excuses while he slid through the crowd. "And you wouldn't listen to me telling you either."

Lou groaned and turned back to roll her eyes in Ike's direction, but he wasn't there. Both he and Emily were gone. "Kid, hold on!" Grabbing the back of his shirt she stopped him, "can't see Ike and Emily anywhere!"

Kid turned around to watch over the crowd, Lou hung on to his shirt, rising to her toes to catch a glimpse of their friends. Then Kid stiffened under her touch and cast her a questioning glance. "You sure you're looking for Ike?"

"What?" Lou let go off his shirt and took a step back, bewildered at the change in him. "What'ya talk...."

Strong arms grabbed her waist. A familiar chuckle followed and she was swung up into the air, she went stone cold at the touch. A million thoughts ran through her head all at once. This was not supposed to happen. Not like this, not now.

The man turned her around and she was too stunned to utter a word, she felt his lips on hers when he kissed her. Lou struggled against the hold. "No," she mumbled, turning her head away from him.

"Not in public, huh?" he chuckled, "Oh God Lou, it's so good to see you. You're so beautiful. I've been waiting so long for this."

He framed her face with his hands and looked into her eyes, smiling. Lou felt so bad, bad for not telling him sooner, bad for what was happening, just because she hadn't worked up the nerve to tell him sooner. How could she tell him now, in the midst of all this people? Sean was a very proud man, he'd hate to be dumped like this. She would hate to be dumped like this. Not knowing what to do, how to tell him she remain looking into his eyes wondering how to find the words to tell him she was here with someone else. "Sean..." she started.

"Your Ma told me you'd be coming, she told me to come here and get you home. She's waiting to see you sweetie, we'll all have dinner and then..." he whispered the rest into her ear, telling her about the fancy hotel-room he had arranged. Telling her how he looked forward to being with her. Lou looked in Kid's direction, asking him to jump in, begging him to get her out of this awkward situation. He looked at her, his eyes cold, an expression in them that had her hold her breath. Behind him Samantha was working her way to them. The damned woman hooked her arm around Kid's and smiled at him.

Lou muttered and turned around to free herself from Sean's hold. He chuckled, thinking it was her usual shyness and embraced her tighter. Kissing her hair.

"With you, Samantha, it'd be a privilege." Kid smiled to the woman at his side. "You look so beautiful Samantha, love your hair."

Lou stared unbelievingly, Kid was smiling, bowing his head to Samantha, giving her that cute smile. Lou knew full well what that did to a woman, it made you knees wobble. When Kid looked at her that way she'd walk around the earth with him, no questions asked. And Samantha was just the same, her smile in response to Kid's told Lou she'd do anything he asked, and if he didn't ask, Samantha surely would.

"Mind if I borrow him for a while Louise, you and Ike can have him back tomorrow?" Samantha giggled, overtly eyeing the man at her side with appreciation.

"Of course," Sean spoke up, still clutching Lou close he moved a bit closer to the couple standing in front of them, extending his hand. "I don't think we've met, I'm Sean. Lou and I will be off in a short while."

"John McCloud," Kid said, his voice fully under control, "nice to meet you." Just a tad of sarcasm revealed. Lou looked to see his eyes but he refused to look at her, he held on to Samantha's arm, standing very close to her. The darned women looked perfectly happy.

"Oh, the monk?" Sean whispered into her ear. But loud enough for Kid to catch it.

Lou momentarily closed her eyes in desperation, remembering full well the evening shortly before she left. That evening Sean had gone through the files of her future teammates, both of them pondering on what they would be like. Lou had told him the vet was called the monk, they both had laughed and wondered what was wrong with him. She had laughed at Kid! Her cheeks felt hot from shame, she dared not look at him, afraid he'd see her betrayal.

"What?" Samantha asked and Lou opened her eyes. Tears pricking behind the lids. She decisively freed herself from Sean's hold.

Kid leaned in to whisper something in Samantha's ear. Samantha threw a glance in Lou's direction and laughed seductively. Her body curving into Kid's side. Stunned Lou looked between the two of them, Kid wrapping an arm around Samantha's waist. Casting one glance in Lou's direction, a glance so full of frosty detachment that Lou felt the chill spread from her spine right through to her fingertips.

"I see," Samantha said, drowning in Kid's eyes. Kid bowed to whisper anew into her ear and Samantha slid her arms around his waist. Lou was feeling nauseous.

"We'll be off then," she said in Lou's direction, never taking her eyes of Kid. Their heads so close, Kid's lips practically touching her cheek. "Be at platform A35 tomorrow at 0900," she continued distractedly.

When she turned around with her arm around Kid's waist Lou finally sprang to life. "Kid! Wher'ya going?"

Neither of them minded her question, Kid smiled down at Samantha and slid his hand to rest on her hip. She smiled up to him and wetted her lips. Lou felt like barfing here and now. How the hell could he do this to her, and with that woman? What the hell was happening to him? What she just had witnessed wasn't the Kid, it was somebody else, somebody without an ounce of shyness in his body. Somebody callous and calculating, not Kid. Kid wouldn't go with another woman just like that! It had taken her months to warm him up and now this? He hadn't looked at her once, he gave her no time to explain, he just walked off!

Lou lost the pair in the crowd. Without turning her head she told Sean to go order a Turtle, she'd wait for him at the exit and that she had to check on something.

"Just go Sean...I'll be back ...I just have to go right now!" She was making her ways through the crowd, circling around people, pushing her way through, desperately searching for them. But they were nowhere to be seen. Spotting Ike and Emily walking toward the exit she rushed up to them. "Ike!"

They both turned, happy smiles on their faces, hand in hand. Emily leaning up towards him, cuddly, as they stopped, Ike's arm immediately encircling her. Lou hated to interrupt their rendevouz, it was not right for her to cast her troubles on them. They had such a short time together right now, tomorrow morning Ike would have to return with them.

"Have no time to explain right now Ike. Said they were going to get a drink, he didn't tell you?" She was already on her way out, if Ike didn't know she'd have to find him on her own.

"I heard some talk about going to Oliver's Inn later," Emily ventured, "maybe he went there?"

"No Ike, you and Emily...go on doing what you intended to, I'll find him myself." Lou protested, knowing she was probably ruining everybody's evening right now. Most of all her own. She would have to call her mother too and explain. Why the hell had she told Sean?

Ike smiled, taking Emily's hand he stuffed it into the large pocket of his jacket. A gesture of an old habit between the two, Ike warming Emily's hand in his pocket. Emily's eyes flooding with love.

Lou felt like the loneliest human on earth at the sight of the tenderness between the two.

They found them five hours later. In a fancy bar Lou spotted Samantha practically sitting in Kid's lap, bottles of expensive wine on the table. Lou growled at the sight of Samantha taking a sip out of the glass and then kissing Kid deeply. Kid laughing as she broke the kiss off and nibbled on his ear. Lou felt ready to slap them both around.

Ike whispered something to Emily and she nodded, walking up to the table occupied by the two. Lou right behind her, the anger threatening to choke her.

"Samantha," A brief nod of the head, slight irritation visible at the interruption.

The woman is working fast, Lou thought, cheap slut! And you, you goddamned prick! Ready to get into any woman's sack are ya, bastard!

"Uh? Em? Ike? What...." Kid paused as he spotted Lou, for a moment bewilderment shadowed the blue eyes, pushing away the coldness in them. The calculative mood momentarily gone. Then it returned full force and he laid an arm around Samantha's shoulders, the woman leaning in and kissing his neck.

That was it for Lou, she took one long step to stand behind Kid. Grabbing his shoulder hard she yanked him backwards. "You and I, dude, need to talk!"

"You bet your ass we do," Lou wheezed at him. "Excuse us for a moment," she told Samantha. Obviously the alcohol infested brain was not really registering what was happening right now. "Get up!" she hissed at Kid.

To her astonishment he did what she asked him to, on slightly unsteady legs he rose from the stool and turned to her. "What can you possibly have ..."

Lou pushed him before her all the way through the bar out to the dimly lit street. "We'll only be a moment," she politely told the usher at the door. She heard laughter and comments as she walked by the people gathered around the entrance. A low whistle had her cringe, a tiny woman like her hauling a man out of a bar must have them all wondering. But right now she didn't care if the whole world was watching. She kept on walking, dragging the Kid to the end of the building, into a dark corner of the street. "You're drunk," she said disgusted, sensing his unsteady walk.

She slammed him up against the wall. "What the hell are you doin'?" she growled at him.

"Excuse me?" Kid asked with a bow forward, almost tipping over as he did. Swaying slightly on his feet as he repositioned himself.

"And?" he asked, lifting one eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be fucking the boyfriend right now 'sweetie'?" The endearment a badly performed imitation of Sean's voice.

"I thought you were different," Lou grunted while pushing him back to stand against the wall. "I thought you were bigger than this!"

"Sorry to have disappointed you Lou, I'm not your puppet, you can't swipe the floor with me, I'm so sorry. Did I forget to tell you that?" A gleam of scorn in the blue eyes, something Lou had never seen before.

"What is it? Wasn't he big enough for you either so you had to come back to look for me?"

Lou stared amazed at the man in front of her, disgusted at his behavior she remain staring into the eyes she thought she knew, now so transformed, so cold and unfeeling.

"Oh, so you didn't get any? Still need to get laid? But you already got all the fucks you had coming from me 'sweetie', go back to Sean, you ain't gettin' none from me any longer!" He looked down on her, smiling scornfully at her silence.

She hated this man standing in front of her, she hated the words he used, she hated the innuendos. She slapped him hard across the face, hard enough to send him staggering backwards. Trying to regain his balance by finding something to hold on to on the lean wall, finally regaining his stance as Lou stepped closer to him. "Go fuck her you useless idiot, you're right I used you to get laid. But hell it wasn't worth it. Never was! Look at you, you're embarrassing us all! Fine piece of shit you are! Asshole!"

She stroke out against his chest, hitting him square in the middle. He said nothing, kept looking coldly at her. Instantly sobered up by her attach on him. His hands remain still at his side, like nothing she did to him bothered him any longer. There was no other reaction than dismissal. Like her anger was nothing to him. He just grunted as her blows hit him and she hit him hard initially. Putting all her strength into the blows, yelling at him with every hit. Until her strength vanished, her anger turning into sorrow at her inability to handle the situation. This wasn't what she had intended. Not this numbness from him, no other reactions than that callous expression, ice cold eyes watching her. Tears burned behind her eyelids and she kept hitting him to keep them at bay "I hate you, I hate you," she yelled with every blow until someone clinched her arms and dragged her away.

"Lou!" Ike's voice in her ear calmed her down. Watching Samantha walk up to Kid and examine his face, running her hand over it. Exclaiming; "Oh God, what she done to you?" as Kid jerked his head back.

"Check on Kid, Ike!" Emily ordered and turned Lou away from the two at the wall.

"I'll take him home Ike, you see so Louise gets wherever she's goin," Samantha prompted.

"It'll be fine," Emily hummed to Lou and threw her arms around her. Lou felt hot tears trickle down her cheeks, all her anger gone and only despair remaining.

"No thanks," Kid's muffled voice replied, "it's all very much cleared out, thank you."

"Ike, I'll take him home," Samantha's voice eager. "Get Lou to the hotel. I'll take care of Kid."

"Tell you what, I just don't care any longer," Kid answered as Samantha dragged him on, past Emily and Lou. Out of their sight.

Lou started trembling in Emily's hold. The last words Kid had uttered tearing up old wounds, making them bleed all over. Those were her father's words. "I just don't care any longer"

They walked slowly back to hotel, Emily holding an arm around Lou's shoulders, Ike walking in front of them. Nobody said much, Lou felt like all the strength had vanished with the blows, now she just wanted to lie down on the pedway and sink into oblivion. This wasn't really happening was it? Kid hadn't walked away with that woman, she hadn't yelled at him and hit him. He never looked at her with those ice cold eyes, he'd never said those words. 'I just don't care any longer'. And Sean, was he still waiting for her at the exit? And Ma? Was she still waiting for her to bring a friend back home. A friend? He was no friend of hers, never had been, friends didn't do things like this to each other. The notion of what she had done hit her hard and she whimpered.

"You okay Lou?" Emily asked at her side, "we're just about there. You need something to eat."

Ike slowed his pace to let them catch up with him. "What happened Lou, why the hell did Kid leave with her? I thought you and him...."

"It's not quite as simple Ike, it's not all his fault, it's just ...he wouldn't listen!"

"What ya mean not his fault Lou," Emily wondered at her side, "I don't understand."

"Sean, my ....my boyfriend..at least he still thinks I'm his girl, coz' I never worked up the nerve to tell him it was over."

"I meant to tell him right then and there Ike, but Kid just walked away with....Samantha." She had enormous difficulties pronouncing the name without her rage returning.

"I wanted to tell him sooner, I really did, but I mean me and Kid, hell it hasn't been easy. And Sean, well Sean is nice, I know where I have him, I can handle him, it's easy to handle him. But Kid, I mean ...I think I love him but ...."

Emily stopped, "we're here," she said softly. "Ike go get them keys while Lou and I go into this Drop-In right here, to get ourselves something to eat. Take your time Ike."

Ike smiled at Emily knowing what she was doing, she was giving Lou a woman to woman talk. And he was supposed to stay away. Half and hour, he asked with his hands. Emily nodded. "Okay, I'll get them keys and ...make a couple of calls...be back later."

Emily smiled at him and he sighed, hating to leave her, but he did as he was told. For this half hour without Em's hand to hold he'd have Kid pay, abundantly.

"Come on Lou!" Dragging the reluctant woman inside the Drop-In and seating her at the table before positioning herself opposite her and pushing the button for ordering. "A kebab all right by you Lou?" Lou merely nodded. Emily punched the order in; three kebabs and Xepsi's, and cafs to go. She ordered 3 apple-pies too, to surprise Ike. He loved them and he'd probably have hers too. He was already sitting on the bench outside, watching her, lifting the keys up into the air as he spotted her eyes on him. She smiled, he had gotten them keys in no time.

"Lou, let's make a list, pro and con Sean, what's keeping you from telling him?"

"That's how I make my decisions if I have the chance, I make a list and I decide. It helps, I promise. Go on, what's good with Sean?"

"Well, he's....charming, everybody loves him. I know him, I think I know him. He's safe. And he's that guy every woman wants."

"He's a bit conceited sometimes, doesn't see beyond himself occasionally. Very keen on appearances, like, you know, has to always wear the latest. He just doesn't always understand others' point of view, or doesn't care, I don't know. Rather shallow in fact."

Emily smiled to herself, she had a feeling the choice would be easy for Lou, if she only dared to take it. "And Kid, what's the good part?"

Lou slammed her fist down on the table, "there's no good parts in him, none at all. Just look what he did! Walking away with that...that woman! I mean he looked at her with those goddamned eyes of his, and I know what that does to you. You just kind of melt. He's so hard headed sometimes, just has to do what's right and God help the rest of the world if they don't agree, he just does it. First time we had a problem in Sweetwater him and Ike went off on their own, I was so angry with them at that time. They could have been killed for goodness sake, but did he wait for the rest of us, no, of course not, he had to do it all by himself. Probably dragged Ike into it! And then, that time the ground cave under me, he just had to come get me didn't he? We were standing there on a legde. I told him to let go and save himself! I'da been able to take care of myself, did he listen? No! He had to be the hero, saving me. Leaving me wondering if he'd make it, if he'd get killed 'cause of me. I thought he would tumble down head first. I was so scared." Her voice had become a low mumble, "I know he's hiding something, there's something he won't tell me. Something that happened to him that made him what he is. He just won't talk about it. Neither is Jimmy, and I know they share some history, but he just won't tell. Always needs to be the strong one, in control. Looking out for everybody else, when he himself, I don't know, sometimes he seems so sad. So vulnerable, you just wanna hold him."

Emily leaned into hear her mumbles. "If that was his good sides I'm afraid to ask about the bad ones."

Lou lifted her eyes to look at the woman sitting opposite her. Her eyes calmly watching Lou, no emotions revealed. Lou felt safe with her, she wouldn't judge or laugh at her mixed emotions, she was there to listen, so much like Ike.

"He's sweet and caring, dependable, sticks to his words. Which makes me crazy sometimes, and so damned overprotective! So reserved and introverted you feel the need to pry him open with a can opener at times, and yet again, he somehow tells you everything. Without uttering a single word. Makes my knees wobble with that smile and those eyes, oh God those eyes! So deepblue you wanna drown in them, I can tell what he's thinking and feeling by just watching his eyes. I know him even thou' he hasn't told me much, it's like I've known him forever. Sometimes the words just get in our way and all we need is being close. He gives you everything he's got, and that is plenty. When he's there, he truly is there in all senses, he's there with everything he is. And now he's giving it all to that....Samantha, Jesus Christ I hate him!" Slamming her hand into the table again she stopped and glanced at Emily. "Oh God, I'm making no sense whatsoever here am I?"

"You don't know that Lou, that he's really giving anything at all to Samantha." Emily smiled sadly at her, and Lou blushed, she'd revealed far too much. Knowing that, she looked down on the tablecloth, fidgeting with it nervously.

"Well you certainly told me a lot, that's true, but what you didn't tell me was why it's so hard for you to decide? It's pretty clear to me that you really want to be with Kid so why all this hesitation?"

"Emily, if there's one thing I've learned in this life is that you can never trust a man, never! Don't give your heart away, don't ever do that!"

"I know," Lou stated softly, "you can't ever love anybody like that. He just proved it to me. But Em, tell Ike to get over here, he's about to brake his neck trying to ogle you from over there."

Lying in the soft bed all she saw was pictures of Samantha and Kid together, Kid touching her, kissing her. Rolling around with her, whispering to her. She tried watching a movie, all that happened was Kid and Samantha kissing passionately, accompanied by the tune and the screen fading into a techicolor blue as the scene dimmed into a view of heavy rain over dark moors.

Calling Sean again she cursed vehemently, his EA still wasn't on. And what the hell would she tell him anyways? Her mother was right, she had hurt him badly. She wondered if she'd have to call her mother again, excusing herself yet another time, but then she realized she wasn't exactly sure how her lies had sounded the first time. And why had Sean bothered to check that she left with Ike and Emily, what if he asked one of them? What would they say! No, she better stick to her story, something had happened and she had to leave right that evening, she wasn't here any longer, and by God she wished she wasn't.

She tried once again to listen into the room adjoining hers, wishing there would be some sounds, any sounds. Wishing he'd return. Not knowing where he was at right now was harder than the images that assaulted her. What if something had happened to him?

"Happened?" Lou muttered to herself, desperately trying to find something less romantic to watch, something like kick boxing. "What's happening is that he's screwing Samantha, and you're here alone in this bed, that's what's happened to him!"

But she couldn't stop listening, every time somebody walked in the hallway she stirred, wishing to hear the click of the card in the door next to hers. It never came and she fell into a restless slumber, nightmares of Kid and Samantha waking her before she even fell asleep. The images then fading and memories of Kid making love to her taking over. Memories of them by the swimming hole, water washing over them as they merged on the sandy bank. The thrill of the forbidden heightening her pleasure. The late nights she snuck into his room, cuddling up close to him. Those nights they just fell asleep, holding each other close. Listening to his breathing until she fell asleep. The rise and fall of his chest under her cheek serving as a lullaby, the warmth of his arms around her soothing the ache in her muscles. The sense of total peace as they drifted off to sleep holding each other.

"I hate you!" Embracing the pillow she cried in the dark until her eyes closed exhausted and no nightmares or dreams haunted her any longer. They were all drowned in her tears.

|Prologue||Chapter 1||Chapter 2||Chapter 3||Chapter 4||Chapter 5||Chapter 6||Chapter 7||Chapter 8||Chapter 9||Chapter 10|
|Chapter11||Chapter 12||Chapter 13||Chapter 14*||Chapter 15||Chapter 16||Chapter 17||Chapter 18||Chapter 19||Chapter 20*|
|Chapter 21||Chapter 22||Chapter 23||Chapter 24||Chapter 25||Chapter 26||Chapter 27||Chapter 28||Chapter 29||Chapter 30|
|Chapter 31*||Chapter 32||Chapter 33||Chapter 34|