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Republican ParodE!






I thought that, seeing as how there is a Democratic ParodE! page, I'd better give equal time to those of you who may vote for people like Dubya. And if dear old Dubya is here surfing this site, put down your pretzel BEFORE you start singing. Ok. Now you can join in.
We've got some brand new parodies, hot off the press. Get ready to sing, giggle and feel good when it's all over. Now where else can you get all that while sitting in your PJ's at home?

The first offering on this page is done to that pretty tune by Lorrie Morgan, "Something in Red". Well... naturally she was talking about the fire engine at 51. Oh. She wasn't? Well... we are...



Something in Red

I'm looking for something in red
A shiny red squad with sirens overhead
Complete with two helmets that hang near the doors
Wouldn't heads turn when I drive to the store?
I don't want a Porsche or a Mustang instead
I'm looking for something in red

I'm looking for something in green
Like Johnny's gross sauce in that infamous scene
Like Miss Johnson's flowers that flourished and grew
When green thumb DeSoto knew just what to do
Like Chet Kelly's goop that could grease a machine
I'm looking for something in green

I'm looking for something in white
A certain land rover would suit me just right
With a tall, handsome driver with eyes just for me
Check the nurses at Rampart for insanity
We'd drive right past Valerie's house just for spite
I'm looking for something in white.

I'm looking for something in blue
A brave paramedic who knows what to do
When there's a fire, a flood or a storm
I sure would't mind if that guy kept me warm
The guaranteed hero who always comes through
I'm looking for something in blue

I'm looking for something in red
A shiny fire engine that could wake the dead
Blaring and squealing along down the street
Driven by firemen stunning and sweet
The guaranteed thing to make me lose my head
I'm looking for something
I gotta have something
I'm looking for something... in red.

Mayzee
OMGB #140

Remember that old children's classic, "The Cat Came Back"? Well... at Station 51, it was the mouse, wasn't it? Here's the untold, behind-the-scenes story, added footage, kind of like a DVD without forking out the 25 bucks.

The Mouse Came Back

Now poor Chet Kelly
Was pacing in frustration
For Herbert was a mouse
Who wouldn't leave the station
He begged and he pleaded
Got down upon his knees
He led the mouse away from there
With trails of Cheddar cheese...

But...

The mouse came back
The very next day
The mouse came back
They thought he was a goner
But, the mouse came back
He just wouldn't stay away...

Chet took him to a house
Where lived an orange cat
He walked away and muttered
"I figure that is that.
Old Herbert will be cat food."
But, much to his dismay
The cat and mouse played poker
Until the break of day...

And...

The mouse came back
The very next day
The mouse came back
They thought he was a goner
But, the mouse came back
He just wouldn't stay away...

To Santa Rosa County
Is where Chet drove his car
He dumped the mouse and sped away
He didn't get too far
Poor Chet was stopped for speeding
The situation stunk
And in the meantime, Herbert
Found his way into the trunk...

And...

The mouse came back
The very next day
The mouse came back
They thought he was a goner
But, the mouse came back
He just wouldn't stay away...

Chet sold him to a scientist
And sent him to a lab
He didn't drive him over
Chester sent him in a cab
He thought, "At last it's over.
They'll keep him in a cage."
That night the lab technician
Had a date with Johnny Gage...

And...

The mouse came back
The very next day
The mouse came back
They thought he was a goner
But, the mouse came back
He just wouldn't stay away...

He wrapped him in a package
He put him in the mail
And sent him to an inmate
At Milhaven jail
Chet gloated at his prowess
He got a swollen head
Until the mailman came
Return to sender's what it said...

And...

The mouse came back
The very next day
The mouse came back
They thought he was a goner
But, the mouse came back
He just wouldn't stay away...

He put him in his uniform
And took him to a fire
And just at the right moment
Chet threw him in the pyre
Old Herbert would be crispy
A mouse Kentucky fried
Next morning at the station
They found Herbert safe inside...

Yes... you guessed...

The mouse came back
The very next day
The mouse came back
They thought he was a goner
But, the mouse came back
He just wouldn't stay away...

At last, old Chet surrendered
He said Herbert could stay
The boys at Station 51
All shouted, "Hip! Hurray!"
They liked this mouse named Herbert
They didn't want him dead
Next morning Herbert moved away
To 116's instead...

Yes...

The mouse was gone
The very next day
The mouse was gone
Poor Chet was in a tizzy
Coz the mouse was gone
He finally went away...

May
OMGB #140
hr>
The Beatles, "Baby You Can Drive My Car"... but... it's all of use singing to Johnny instead. Yes. He was always a bridesmaid, never a bride... er... you know what I mean. He rarely ever got to drive the squad, but if many of us had our way... well... he would have had equal time. So... sing it out... let Johnny hear your support.





Johnny, You Can Drive The Squad

I watch Emergency on my TV
I talk about it at this cool NG
If I had been the director, you know
One thing would have changed on that rockin' show

Johnny, you could drive the squad
Rev it like a new hot rod
Johnny, you could drive the squad
Coz Johnny, I love you

Beep-beep, beep-beep, yeah...

Roy is always in the driver's seat
He's a great guy. Man, I think he's sweet.
But, I can't help it. This is how I feel
Johnny should get equal time behind the wheel

Johnny, you could drive the squad
It's one thing in the script that's flawed
Johnny, you could drive the squad
Coz Johnny, I love you

Beep-beep, beep-beep, yeah...

Johnny got to drive from time to time
His driving could have left Andretti behind
DeSoto's driving is a whole lot safer
Johnny likes to press on the accelerator

Johnny, if you drive the squad
Insurance soon would cost a wad
But, Johnny, you could drive the squad
Coz Johnny, I love you...

Beep-beep, beep-beep, yeah...

May
OMGB #140

I hope nobody thinks it's sacreligious to take a good old American anthem and use it to complain about TVLand's tendency to snip, cut, mutilate and edit every episode of Emergency, taking out many of the best parts of the show. If it is, I'm so sorry. I'm Canadian anyway and... hey... you can sing one of our beer commercials and change it to whatever you want. Now we're even... right? Right. Ok... I wish I was in Dixie... it's Dixieland... get singing...





TV Land

Well, some scissor-happy
Guy keeps cutting, splicing
Editing, wrecking,
Slicing, dicing
Every day, every way, when we play
TVLand

He's a psycho maniac
Who bugs the E! fans
Chopping, cropping,
He's got busy hands
Each day, cuts away, when we play
TVLand

He edits shots of Dixie
Away, away
This TVLand needs a wiser plan
Don't edit Gage and Dixie
Away with Rampart, 51 and Dixie

Well, I wish I could
Run that station better
Do they even read my letters
No way, still each day, scenes away
TVLand

Maybe I should go there
With my blade and tools
And edit out the man's crown jewels
Sad to say, gone away, like each day
TVLand

I wish I could see Dixie
And Gage each day
On TVLand, but they cut out parts
With Roy and Gage and Dixie
Please play, please play, unedited Gage and Dixie!

May
OMGB #140

Eat your heart out, Weird Al Yankovic. You're not the only one who can parody Michael Jackson's "Beat It".





Eat It

Chet down at 51 is trying to make
The boys go on a diet, it's too much to take
He makes them green goop
That he calls health soup
And says, "Eat it. Just eat it."

At night they can't sleep for the loud stomach noise
Hey, don't it make you want to feed those hungry boys
Alfalfa sprouts, figs
Stuff turned down by pigs
They must eat it, just eat it... that Chet says,

Eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)
Don't you make me repeat it
You wanna stay slim
And healthy and trim
Eat this dried fruit
Then, head for the gym
Just eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)
Diseases will be impeded
Don't be so grumpy
These are great treats
It's stuff that even
Gurus won't eat
But, eat it... just eat it...

How can the boys fight fires with nothing to munch
They had the most horrendous dish that Chet called lunch
He's gone a bit nuts
He's being a putz
Says, "eat it... just eat it..."

If they don't die from eating all the foods they crave
Starvation's gonna drive them to an early grave
They keel either way
Chet, what do you say...
"Just eat it... eat oat bran today..."

Just eat it... eat it
The Phantom won't be defeated
No more fried chicken, chili or fries
No more hamburgers, chowder or pies
Just eat it, eat it
Vitamins will be needed
This food would not keep Herbert alive
The calorie intake's just twenty-five
Just eat it... eat it...

When Morton finally came to talk to old Chet
He saw just how extreme that little man can get
Don't stand on your head
The boys must be fed
Just eat it... eat it...

So Chet decided he would make them a steak
To make up for his well-meaning but big mistake
One bite was enough
Of that awful stuff
"Chet! Eat it! We'll feed you this sauce..."

Just eat it... eat it
We know just where to feed it
Open up Chester, this is great stuff
Have some more health food, can't get enough
Just eat it... eat it...
Don't you make us repeat it
Open up Chet
You fed this to us
Open up wide
Don't put up a fuss
Just eat it... eat it...

May
OMGB #140

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Parodies By The Dashboard Light
Emergency Secret Word Search
Emergency! Word Search Puzzle 2
Wasn't That A Parody!
Pizza Parody!
Democratic Parody Page
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